There's a mod and a few utilities you can use to manage addons. They all have their own pros and cons.By the way...
Is there any way to know which .vars are NOT being referenced? My addonpackages folder is getting too big and I don't know what I can safely delete...
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This is an in-game addon that uses BepinEx. It's very handy, and can load VAR's based entirely on what scene you are loading.
This one is what I currently use but I am not completely satisfied with, there doesn't seem to be a built in way to uninstall (you just remove from your addon packages folder) but overall it works well enough.
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I like this one a lot, but honestly am a little too stupid to use effectively. I use the morphs preset maker function to see what morph packs I have installed, and the duplicate item resolver to remove dupes. However it doesn't seem to give you per var control of what you have installed, instead relegating it to save/var based dependencies.
This is a very good tool and will work for most folks.
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This one I used for quite a while but eventually I gave up trying to wrestle with the constant crashes and occasional loading/unloading of a bunch of VAR's based on dependency.
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This one seems like a crapshoot. It's no longer maintained and hasn't ever worked for me.
I'm sure I am missing some, but this is what I've found so far. Hope that helps!