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zephrates

Member
May 12, 2017
211
527
Just checking out the screen shots, I can tell the writing is kinda rough. In a text based game, the writing has to be on point, at least for me. Maybe I'll check it out if there is some editing done.
 

Spamwise

Member
Mar 29, 2020
213
249
The option to shoot the man at the beginning of the game seems to be broken now. The text is whited out and unclickable.
 

zedascove

Active Member
Jul 13, 2018
542
1,139
The option to shoot the man at the beginning of the game seems to be broken now. The text is whited out and unclickable.
It only works if you have a pistol equipped and 5 dexterity(not so sure about the later, but you definitely need the pistol equipped).
 
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PaxNeo

Newbie
Mar 27, 2020
37
39
In the City of Greyfold i cant access the western District because if i cick on "Westside" it leads me to the Northside - every other direction works as written.
 

NODOGAN

Well-Known Member
Dec 11, 2017
1,572
2,670
Ok it says bestiality and male protagonist so i'll bite: can you have sex with animals without it being the "horse fucks woman" deal 99% of bestiality games are about?
TLDR: Can my character as a MALE protagonist fuck female animals?
 
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nackedsnake

Engaged Member
Jan 29, 2019
2,818
3,931
It does. It really does. Imagine your reading a book and the writing sudnly sterts ta luuk udd. It wuld mack rading it prtty herd wudnt it? Especially if you're reading a sex scene. Now, I'm not saying the writing is *quite* that bad, but all the same, it's hard to stay hard when your trying to work out what the heck someone is even saying. Spelling and grammar are *really* important in a text based game. I mean, I love the *idea* of the game, but I do agree a native english speaker needs to read over the actual story. Even tiny mistakes can add up quickly.
Here's a quick tip for when you do causal reading: Do NOT read EVERY word literally
All your examples are exaggerating, not standing for the situation of this game's text by any means.
 
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nackedsnake

Engaged Member
Jan 29, 2019
2,818
3,931
Ok it says bestiality and male protagonist so i'll bite: can you have sex with animals without it being the "horse fucks woman" deal 99% of bestiality games are about?
TLDR: Can my character as a MALE protagonist fuck female animals?
You need to ask the devs what they intend to do with bestiality, atm there's only a scene that a wolf fucks you.
Tho "fucking female animals" seems a bit too controversial even as a fetish (that's why it's so rare)...
 

nackedsnake

Engaged Member
Jan 29, 2019
2,818
3,931
In a game where you can rape humans...
I'm not here to discuss the controversy, and personally I'm totally open to those things in a "fantasy" "fiction" setting.
But know that there's a large group of people very vocal about their objections, and so many games got into trouble because of "fucking animals", that they are forced to change or totally got rid of.
 

zedascove

Active Member
Jul 13, 2018
542
1,139
Here's a quick tip for when you do causal reading: Do NOT read EVERY word literally
All your examples are exaggerating, not standing for the situation of this game's text by any means.
It's not that. It's the way some sentences are structured. Even still, some mistakes are just too bad and distracting(like the "expiration" in the OP pic, for instance). It is a text game. It would've been bad already if it was a fully fledged RPG, but being a game where the text is even more critical to the experience only makes things worse.

Take Incubus City as an example. The text there is very well written and adds a lot to the overall experience. It could work as an erotic game even if it was text only, despite the fact that it has waaaay more pictures(even animated ones) than this one.

I mean, take a look at this:



And compare to this



And tell me it doesn't have a big impact on the overall experience.
 
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nackedsnake

Engaged Member
Jan 29, 2019
2,818
3,931
It's not that. It's the way some sentences are structured. Even still, some mistakes are just too bad and distracting(like the "expiration" in the OP pic, for instance). It is a text game. It would've been bad already if it was a fully fledged RPG, but being a game where the text is even more critical to the experience only makes things worse.

Take Incubus City as an example. The text there is very well written and adds a lot to the overall experience. It could work as an erotic game even if it was text only, despite the fact that it has waaaay more pictures(even animated ones) than this one.

I mean, take a look at this:



And compare to this



And tell me it doesn't have a big impact on the overall experience.
I mean, that's the "writing", not the "grammar and typo".
No one said "writing is not important in a text-based game". And I didn't deny it could use some proof reading.
It's just funny to see all you guys do is picking on it.
For the "expiration" in the OP pic, I didn't even realise it's not "expression" before you guys point out, cuz I DON'T "read EVERY word literally".
I'll drop this topic at this point, you guys are just arguing for the sake of arguing.
 
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sup3rbreakout

Member
Nov 10, 2020
116
139
IcyViridian, I wouldn't worry about what trolls like zedascove say, they're just here to complain about games - you'll notice they never have anything nice to say about any game they post on, they're here to be disruptive and bother developers until they quit.
 
May 31, 2019
329
416
I mean, that's the "writing", not the "grammar and typo".
No one said "writing is not important in a text-based game". And I didn't deny it could use some proof reading.
It's just funny to see all you guys do is picking on it.
For the "expiration" in the OP pic, I didn't even realise it's not "expression" before you guys point out, cuz I DON'T "read EVERY word literally".
I'll drop this topic at this point, you guys are just arguing for the sake of arguing.
Sentence structure is just as much grammar as spelling and punctuation. Sentences and phrases have a natural flow to them in English, more often than not based on how you would speak it. Even if someone who speaks English as a second language can spell and has a decent vocabulary, sentences without the proper syntax and form come off as disjointed and stilted.
There's a difference between writing well enough to get a basic point across ("He pet the dog on the head."), and writing well enough to bring the reader into the world you're trying to convey ("He gave his loyal canine companion a gentle pat on the head") .

Most people can forgive small things like errant typos, or misplaced punctuation, but small things do add up to make a work feel like less than the sum of its parts.

That being said, I'd rather the game focus more on getting the content in front of the player right now than worrying too much about how its written. As the dev works more on the game, they'll get a better grasp on the language and can go back and polish things up. The fact that the game is available to the public also means there's a large chunk of people who do speak the language, and a handful of them will probably be more than happy to point out grammatical errors or issues with the writing and flow. Which collectively makes for a better game for everyone.

Getting on people for pointing out those issues though is pretty stupid. Since the game would only improve by those issues being fixed.
It's like complaining that people point out that a dish could use more salt to taste better, but the person complaining thinks the dish is "edible" so it doesn't matter. As if it's wrong for people to want something to taste good, rather than just something to fill a necessary caloric requirement.
 

zedascove

Active Member
Jul 13, 2018
542
1,139
IcyViridian, I wouldn't worry about what trolls like zedascove say, they're just here to complain about games - you'll notice they never have anything nice to say about any game they post on, they're here to be disruptive and bother developers until they quit.
Being surrounded by yes men like yourself who agrees with everything you say and do is always counterproductive to any work. It's only through honest feedback that real progress is made.

I've been giving legit suggestion in order for the developer to improve his game from my very first post here. I've even defended him from soy boys complaining about character age in a videogame. Meanwhile, all you've had to say was "hur dur troll".

I find 99,9% of porn games pure garbage btw. Only the fact that I've played this one more than once and am giving feedback on this thread shows I'm not here to troll, as I wouldn't give a fuck at all if I didn't see any potential in it(trust me, I have more important things to do than to waste my time posting on a thread of a game I don't like).
 
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lagartha

Member
Dec 2, 2017
103
97
Why are you guys so fixed on the grammar and typos? Are you elementary school teacher or really don't have better things to do?
The dev already said English is not their 1st language, and the text in this game so far ain't that bad that sabotages your understanding of what it's trying to convey.
Sure it could use some proof-reading, but I don't see how it affects the quality of this game that worth complaining about.
Depends on if it is a hobby game or a semi professional hobby game effort. The Engrish is easily corrected and because the dev has concentrated on an existing franchise with high standards people will come at this expecting those standards. If he had invented his own world with it's own physics people would generally be more forgiving IMO.

Really it's potentially a fun game and it is "cute" that you can get money simply by going to the bathroom and letting people fuck you or by jerking people off but that's kinda grindy pretty quickly. I wish making money in real life was so easy but in the real world that sort of work usually comes with dangers and issues. A games great when it lets you forget all that mundane shit and this one does do that.

For myself I think it would have been better if the dev had asked (on here?) if anyone might like to correct the obvious text errors and then put out an update in a month with some real content.

I kinda like the game but it is very early days and needs a lot more work...
 

FA80

Active Member
Apr 22, 2017
506
440
It's like complaining that people point out that a dish could use more salt to taste better, but the person complaining thinks the dish is "edible" so it doesn't matter.
You are always free to salt yourself or even cook your own meal to meet your standards.

The time and letters used for the argument could have rewritten half of the game already.

No offense meant, just a thought.
 

zedascove

Active Member
Jul 13, 2018
542
1,139
You are always free to salt yourself or even cook your own meal to meet your standards.

The time and letters used for the argument could have rewritten half of the game already.

No offense meant, just a thought.
What a stupid post.

Following that logic, if I'm a football fan and I'm unhappy with my team's performance I should go coach it myself.

If the dev didn't want honest feedback he shouldn't have released his game in Early Access, much less post on these forums.
 

aqwai

Newbie
Mar 29, 2021
19
8
hi i am writing to say i liked the game.

and thinks that would be cool and consistent, for players wanting to remain a slave to Dereck, that when we chase Dereck into the cornfield, instead of the two simple options: fight / leave. we could have a third: follow him in order to continue the main quest as his slave.

or else, to be able to meet him in the city after Nogas, so that he continues to give pink pills to the player in order to completely transform him into a bimbo shemale.

Either way it's a good game, and I can't wait to see what happens next. (and see Dereck there again and complete the transformation of the player into sissy shemale bimbo ^^ )
 
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