seamanq

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Game Developer
Aug 28, 2018
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People tend to forget that English, whether it be British English, American English, or even Australian English, is the hardest language in the world to learn. English, whatever variant, has more words than any other language, and those words are constantly morphing/mutating/changing their meaning over time.

Hell, between British English and American English the same word or phrase can mean something completely different, or even the opposite.

Stop and think for a second, how many ways are there to say "hello" or "goodbye" in conversational use?

In English it's "I love you," yet in Russian or French it's "I you love."

Yes, non-native-English-writers are going to occasionally get it a little wrong, the language will appear stilted, but we should be a little forgiving. Hey, they're trying.
I know. I used 2,983 of them in my writing last week. It was a busy week.
 

MrDL

Well-Known Member
Nov 11, 2017
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1,576
People tend to forget that English, whether it be British English, American English, or even Australian English, is the hardest language in the world to learn. English, whatever variant, has more words than any other language, and those words are constantly morphing/mutating/changing their meaning over time.

Hell, between British English and American English the same word or phrase can mean something completely different, or even the opposite.

Stop and think for a second, how many ways are there to say "hello" or "goodbye" in conversational use?

In English it's "I love you," yet in Russian or French it's "I you love."

Yes, non-native-English-writers are going to occasionally get it a little wrong, the language will appear stilted, but we should be a little forgiving. Hey, they're trying.
That's why they would benefit immensley from a native English speaking proof reader/writer who has at least a firm grasp on the language, same if an English speaker wanted to translate the game into another language. Back in the day when most adult games outside of Japan were text based you'd have people jump at the chance of getting early access and maybe have some influence in exchange for proof reading and bug testing. Even if the dev isn't making much or anything off Patreon I'm sure there's still plenty out there who would do it for similar reasons, especially if they're already a fan of the game.
 
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Oriandu

Engaged Member
Sep 1, 2017
2,452
4,665
Well without a writer you'd just have an image gallery... I guess if that is your thing. Cheeky has been wearing many hats while working on this game, writer is just one of them.
Actually no, without a writer on staff you have what this game feels like... a game without a writer on staff. You can write dialogue without being a writer. Where the Heart is, is filled with minor grammatical foibles, poorly used phrasing, the occasional misused colloquialism and the characters are inconsistently portrayed. It reads like a game made by someone who is not a writer. Which is the point I was quite obviously making.
 
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Walter Victor

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Dec 27, 2017
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Actually no, without a writer on staff you have what this game feels like... a game without a writer on staff. You can write dialogue without being a writer. Where the Heart is, is filled with minor grammatical foibles, poorly used phrasing, the occasional misused colloquialism and the characters are inconsistently portrayed. It reads like a game made by someone who is not a writer. Which is the point I was quite obviously making.
Are you really criticizing the writing in this game over grammar? I have started well over 100 games from this forum. There are maybe three [if I am being generous] that get the grammar right. It rankles me at times, but that alone never prevents me from enjoying a game. There are very few English professors who write porn games. [I'll bet they play them, though.]

As for characters being inconsistently portrayed... Have you watched a television series lately? These so-called professional writers fill their episodes with fake dramas that are perpetrated by characters acting inconsistently with their previous personae; only to have it all resolved conveniently for the end of the episode. It gets worse the more a series progresses beyond its initial season.

I think it fair to call out a developer on something you find objectionable. Constructive criticism should be welcomed. Why not try that approach?
 

Arthoneceron

Active Member
Jul 5, 2017
886
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I don't feel myself that english was hard to learn. Using the same english I was easily able to talk with people from US, from England and from Australia without any problems.

I remember which, when I was learning chinese, the same word could mean four different things depending on the voice tone.
 

Walter Victor

Forum Fanatic
Dec 27, 2017
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I don't feel myself that english was hard to learn. Using the same english I was easily able to talk with people from US, from England and from Australia without any problems.

I remember which, when I was learning chinese, the same word could mean four different things depending on the voice tone.
Right! English does not have nearly the inflection difficulties that the Chinese language does.

But of all the Western languages, English seems to me to be the one that is the most amalgamated from other sources. Latin, Greek, Germanic, Gaelic, Nordic, African and other language groups have all made significant contributions to the English language, which has resulted in a hodgepodge of grammar, idiomatic, spelling, and other inconsistencies, making it difficult even for native-English speakers to get it all right.
 

Phalzyr

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Nov 7, 2017
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Which is the point I was quite obviously making.
Obvious? hmm... What is a writer but someone who writes (or if you want gets paid to write)? Whether you personally think someone isn't great at writing doesn't make them not a writer. It might make them not a "professional" writer in your opinion. I guess what threw me in your useless rambling was your definition or should I say opinion of what constitutes a "writer". Sorry if I misunderstood what point you were trying to make.
 

seamanq

Well-Known Member
Game Developer
Aug 28, 2018
1,888
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Right! English does not have nearly the inflection difficulties that the Chinese language does.

But of all the Western languages, English seems to me to be the one that is the most amalgamated from other sources. Latin, Greek, Germanic, Gaelic, Nordic, African and other language groups have all made significant contributions to the English language, which has resulted in a hodgepodge of grammar, idiomatic, spelling, and other inconsistencies, making it difficult even for native-English speakers to get it all right.
Unless you're a linguist, I'm not sure you have the basis to claim that English is more amalgamated than any other language. Having studied linguistics, amalgamation and influence of other languages is a natural course of events (even in sign languages). Where some languages have it over English are that they are largely spoken in one concentrated area, and in some cases there are actually committees that make decisions for those languages, like major changes. English probably is so complicated because it is spoken worldwide, and in each area there is potential for language contact to influence it, making the dialect in those areas different than others.
 
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Fantabaldu

The Pirate King
Donor
Feb 19, 2019
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Actually no, without a writer on staff you have what this game feels like... a game without a writer on staff. You can write dialogue without being a writer. Where the Heart is, is filled with minor grammatical foibles, poorly used phrasing, the occasional misused colloquialism and the characters are inconsistently portrayed. It reads like a game made by someone who is not a writer. Which is the point I was quite obviously making.
I absolutely don't agree with you ...
If there is a game that shines for his good writing and a perfect grammar , with a really original hilarious style ,with many and stylish words jokes inside ,this game is Where the Heart is;a game where dialogues and construction of the characters are made much better than many other games try to do.

Another thing that i always read here in this thread , but also in other many thread similar, is the request or the suggestion from players to find a right writer , to make in this way a better game...
But people really think that outside in the world are there hundreds of free writers ready to write adult games ?
This thing for a developer in reality is a big roadblock this is the true ; Because people with a good native English language , especially for porn games , era not so many , like every person thinks, and especially are not free ; professional writer have a big cost , this cannot be done for the major part of games that when things arte going well , earn some hundreds , a few thousand of dollars.
 

seamanq

Well-Known Member
Game Developer
Aug 28, 2018
1,888
2,860
I absolutely don't agree with you ...
If there is a game that shines for his good writing and a perfect grammar , with a really original hilarious style ,with many and stylish words jokes inside ,this game is Where the Heart is;a game where dialogues and construction of the characters are made much better than many other games try to do.

Another thing that i always read here in this thread , but also in other many thread similar, is the request or the suggestion from players to find a right writer , to make in this way a better game...
But people really think that outside in the world are there hundreds of free writers ready to write adult games ?
This think for a developer in reality is a big roadblock this is the true ; Because people with a good native English language , especially for porn games , era not so many , like every person thinks, and especially are not free ; and professional writer have a big cost , this cannot be done for the major part of games that when things arte going well , earn some hundreds , a few thousand of dollars.
I'm with you on this one. I absolutely love the writing and this game has had me laughing out loud many times. I absolutely do not agree that the dialog and character development is all over the map. I actually think that the development of the main characters (Mom, Jenna, Katie) have been slow and deliberate, and that the peripheral characters have also been developed consistently as well. I have nothing but thumbs up for the writing and story so far, and that's why I (like many others) are disappointed in the delay, but waiting with baited breath for the final (longer) release of the next chapter.
 

aberdash

Newbie
Mar 26, 2019
31
23
If there is a game that shines for his good writing and a perfect grammar , with a really original hilarious style ,with many and stylish words jokes inside ,this game is Where the Heart is;a game where dialogues and construction of the characters are made much better than many other games try to do.
I would have agreed with you a few updates ago. The writing is clearly staring to go downhill though. I mean that scene with Lily just comes out of nowhere and has nothing to do with anything (I understand it was because of a poll but come on). Then there is the obvious change in writing style when talking to katie in the park. Of course there is also the very rushed sex scene with katie. I mean it happens literally right after the talk in the park, their lines were short and to the point making it almost robotic and a time skip in the middle of a sex scene? There is no way you will be able to convince me anyone put any serious thought or effort in to that scene. Hopefully they get shit in order before anyone elses arc suffers because of it.
 
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Walter Victor

Forum Fanatic
Dec 27, 2017
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Well, at least I got a notification about my post being deleted. Thank you for that courtesy. Sorry about the off-topic spamming.

Feel free to delete this one too! :cool:
 

Ignatz

What's the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow
Donor
Feb 17, 2018
3,578
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There is some confusion here about writing and plotting.

If you are disturbed by the grammar or the dialogue, then you are wishing for better writing. I think WTHI has some writing issues, but the general creative and interesting dialogue is quite good and imaginative. Basic editing would take care of the rest.

If, however, you don't like the pace of the story, the appearance of certain scenes or the logic of the tale, then that is plotting you have issues with. It's difficult for me to measure plotting in an adult porn game, especially when it comes out piecemeal as all these games do. I haven't found anything noticeably disagreeable in the story structure so far. It doesn't read like a novel, therefore I don't apply the standard plot expectations. To my mind, there has been nothing so glaring that I feel confused or broken from immersion. I certainly have experienced that in other games in this genre.

It's not just semantics, these are distinct parts of creating and telling a story. It doesn't add much to the overall discussion of a sex game, but it does fill up the forum in between updates!
 

Bonhomie

Active Member
Aug 20, 2018
748
618
The other consideration is that any writer for an adult game featured here writes in English as it is the accepted language.
However that writer has to try and make his texts understandable for non-native English speakers as well as the various 'english' speaking nations.
I have done a bit of this and sometimes the 'colloquial' terminology I would use as a native Englishman would be difficult for a foreign national to understand, so I would use simpler wording.

Having said that WTHI has had some great writing - particularly between the Goddess and the MC

… … and if you think this game is bad I would hate to see your critiques of the 95% of games on here I consider vastly inferior.
 

aberdash

Newbie
Mar 26, 2019
31
23
… … and if you think this game is bad I would hate to see your critiques of the 95% of games on here I consider vastly inferior.
People tend to be harsher on things that are trying to take themselves seriously. Ptolemy sets a pretty high bar for that as far as writing goes. People also tend to be less harsh on things that cater to their fetish. Which I suspect is a big reason so many get a pass on mediocre writing.
 

Walter Victor

Forum Fanatic
Dec 27, 2017
5,697
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People tend to be harsher on things that are trying to take themselves seriously. Ptolemy sets a pretty high bar for that as far as writing goes. People also tend to be less harsh on things that cater to their fetish. Which I suspect is a big reason so many get a pass on mediocre writing.
Have you checked out Haley's Story. Viitgames has done an outstanding job of plot and character development. Perhaps the best I've seen on this site.

Warning: It's about the MC and his twin sister (Haley) and is labeled as 'incest', although it hasn't happened in the game yet. So, anyone who hates that particular fetish, should just forget everything I said. :unsure: [As if you didn't already!]
 
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aberdash

Newbie
Mar 26, 2019
31
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Have you checked out Haley's Story. Viitgames has done an outstanding job of plot and character development. Perhaps the best I've seen on this site.

Warning: It's about the MC and his twin sister (Haley) and is labeled as 'incest', although it hasn't happened in the game yet. So, anyone who hates that particular fetish, should just forget everything I said. :unsure: [As if you didn't already!]
Yes and it is easily one of the best on this site. I think ptolemy is also a writer for Life with Mary. Not as good but it is still pretty good.
 
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