Terrible start to season 2, sorry but can't continue this one if you don't start to pick it up - Harper was the perfect girlfriend in season 1 now a demanding bitch, Faye should of been left out and her bad influences on Audrey should be stopped, remember she was responsible for Audrey's rape, she seems to have all but forgotten that - again too many pervs in this one and yes they're girls
If you want a truly good story - let the people playiny it to decide which path they go, in second chance 1 - let the players decide if they want to corrupt Audrey or not , or stop Faye from constantly trying and ending up getting her raped, the father doesn't spend enough time with his daughter so why did he bring them to LA? - These are all things that need work, some people want corruption, lesbian relations, open marriages, pervert thinking, but some hate that and want some common decency to prevale
Thanks for the feedback. I like that you show so much passion for the characters and the story. However when the tags to the game says: BDSM, blackmail, cheating, corruption, group sex and anal sex then you really should not expect it to be a sweet romantic story where common decency always prevail.
Maybe not but it would be nice to finally have a story that at least has it for an option and not the worst in people always - I certainly would not like people to change so radically in real life like Harper - and how can s sweet girl like Audrey have a friend like Faye - REALLY and maybe this is why you only have a 2 star ratingThanks for the feedback. I like that you show so much passion for the characters and the story. However when the tags to the game says: BDSM, blackmail, cheating, corruption, group sex and anal sex then you really should not expect it to be a sweet romantic story where common decency always prevail.
- Dec 2, 2018
- 431
- 335
Since there's been so much negativity in the comments and the "reviews", I'm not sure if you are being sarcastic or not, but hopefully you liked the story
I'm not sure what you means with loops and girls acting out of the loop. Are you talking about the dreams?
well, hum... How pathetic I am ^^ I made a "small" mistake", Wrong internet page : I thought I was on another game topic ^^
I still didin't try your game, though it's just on my "future things to try" list
- Jun 8, 2017
- 98
- 222
Finish the first job before you start something you know you can't finish all over again. We can tell the level of "quality" you are going for from the stolen art assets you are using. What self respecting artist is going to volunteer to work with a certified art thief?
When that's the only tags for the game in question - then sure, you're totally right. But when people see in genres Dating sim and Romance (which you personally typed there), it usually offers some other content differs from blackmail, cheating, corruption and group sex. Listen, I'll tell you a secret: it's visual novel, a game where player's choices make a story. And if you, as a dev, making a story where choices are meaningless, don't call it VN, it's kinetic novel, basically a book with pictures.Thanks for the feedback. I like that you show so much passion for the characters and the story. However when the tags to the game says: BDSM, blackmail, cheating, corruption, group sex and anal sex then you really should not expect it to be a sweet romantic story where common decency always prevail.
Strange, I read the same comments and I see you're not answering questions people asked you. You were asked why you limit players in his/her choices, why players cannot choose what they want. And another player asked you why your characters changed so much from season 1 to season 2, why there's no integrity in your games. Please, don't hide behind tags and genres, answer the questions people asked you.
I personally don't download and play your game for this reason exactly: I don't lilke what people write in comments and you do almost nothing to correct them. People actually read comments when they think is this or that game worth their time. Absence of art is an uncomfortable thing but we can tolerate that (especially after playing AIF and similar). Story or game building we don't like is much more serious.
- Dec 8, 2017
- 154
- 362
High and mighty words for a user of a pirate site.........
funny thing is you don't understand what he is trying to do he is telling his story looking for a partner which is fine he starts a new season to keep his story going since that's all he can do. yes he use placeholders even says he does never once said hey check out my renders.. He wants his story to attract an artist that would want to work together.... this way an artist knows exactly what to expect and how the writer thinks. kinda the opposite of artist releasing beautiful game but really bad story.
and can tell the dev is getting frustrated by the criticism that is off the mark. You don't like it then don't play it, no point bashing or trying belittle the dev....... just go post to a thread of something you do like, not like you invested anything in this to complain at all
And I'll be fair not just you there a few posters in this thread that should just go find something they like instead repeating same complaint over and over.
...romance, dating sim. If player of VN with this tags want usual romance whis Harper/Cassandra, he must get it. And the same, if he want harem or maybe violence, dominance and sex slaves. Optional, but choice must be given. And if for some reason nobody likes the proposed in game options, then the author should take this into account.
PS Cheating? Ok. I want MC took Sarah from his friend. Why I haven't this option?
He must get it???
What you describe is a sandbox where they can do whatever they want with every character and create your own story. It would be totally impossible to write a good story with that kind of freedom. It's a lot of romance in the story and all the other tags are also represented. If you want a story where you build a harem, have sex slaves and cheat on your friends then I suggest you write that story.
Oh Come on - you gave many choices to those that want a free for all sex climate, why not those that want a more traditional romance
Be careful with the words you use. Definition of sandbox game from Techopedia:
"A sandbox is a style of game in which minimal character limitations are placed on the gamer, allowing the gamer to roam and change a virtual world at will. In contrast to a progression-style game, a sandbox game emphasizes roaming and allows a gamer to select tasks. Instead of featuring segmented areas or numbered levels, a sandbox game usually occurs in a “world” to which the gamer has full access from start to finish.
A sandbox game is also known as an open-world or free-roaming game."
As you may notice, sandbox game cannot be applied to VN as a genre of computer games. VN based on story, it's a progress-style type of game by definition. There can be elements on free roam in VN, yes, but that elements always conflicts with story flow (and make gamemaking harder for dev).
And while I strongly agree with your position about people demands (don't like the story - don't play this game or make your own), I disagree with how you talk about it. Please do not use terms if you don't know what these terms means. And if you cannot write a good story while giving players some freedom, just say so. No one will critisize you for that. If you want to write a story, just write it. There will be critics. Always. There's a reason to listen to them. If people say your story lacks integrity, characters lack motivation or doing some things with no reason, maybe there's some truth in what people say. People here does not only say "give me this" or "give me that", they complain about things you did with the story and characters too. I don't see you explain why they're wrong.
- Jun 6, 2018
- 97
- 219
I have really tried to answer all questions, but I can do it one more time.
I have written a story. I would say that the basic is a romantic story, but it's a long story involving several characters with different sexual preferences. So during the story there will be elements of cheating, BDSM, Incest and all the other tags that I have put in there. During the story the players has been given hundreds of small choices that all impact the game. Most of the choices will just influence the current scene or the current conversation, but some of the choices have bigger impact to the main story. Players would always like to have more options so they could make the story just the way they want, but by giving them even more options I would just lead to 20 bad stories instead of a good story with some good side-stories.
You say that I don't listen to the feedback. I think everyone who played the first version of season 1 and the final version of season 1 will disagree with you. Take a look at season 1 and read the change log. I have made a lot of changes based on feedback from the players. Some of the feedback was very good. As an example there was no reason why bad things had to happen to Audrey so I changed that. Also some of the other scenes that made some players uncomfortable was changed or made possible to avoid. However there is a lot of things I don' want to do:
* I will not create an incest story between the MC and his daughter because I want the MC to be that kind of person
* This story will not be about harems, sex-slaves and abuse of women. The main-characters are basically good people even though some of them might be a little sexually adventures.
* I will not protect the players from threesomes or sexual activities between women.
I could list up a lot of things that I want do, and I will never make the characters do stuff that I don't think fits the characters personality. I will never try to make a story in an attempt to make everyone satisfied. I try to create a good story and hopefully someone will enjoy playing it.
There is one character that clearly have changed personality from season 1 to season 2. If you think that more characters than Harper have a very different personality then I would like you to give me some examples. Since I believe that it's just Harper then I will comment just on her.
In season 1 Harper was one of the MC's 2 love interests. She fell in love with the MC and was the perfect girlfriend. At the end of season 2 Harper had been MC's girlfriend for 1 week if you had choosen Harper to be your girlfriend. When season 2 starts 2-3 months later we quickly discover that the relationship between MC and Harper is in trouble. The girl who was very sweet in season 1 has a more bitchy attitude towards the MC. There may be several reasons why Harper is acting differently and I don't think I will give you a clear answer because it's probably a combination of several things including things that haven't been revealed in the first 7 days of gameplay in season 2. But here are some teories:
* In season 1 the MC was at the right place at the right time. She needed someone to make her feel safe and secure. The MC was that person. 3 months later she might have doubts that the MC is the right man for her.
* She has been under a lot of stress. Millions of followers on social media, the opening of her school and the scandal with the sextape. Perhaps also fear that the press will dig into her past with Gregory...
* Perhaps she tried to hide side of her personality for the MC in the beginning. Now that the relationship is more settled and they are living together we might see other sides of her personality than what we saw in season 1
* Perhaps the MC is part of the problem. Perhaps he isn't that easy to live with and after a few months in this relationship he is starting to go on her nerves.
I could come up with many other possible explanations for why the relationship between Harper and the MC seem to not work anymore and why Harper's personality may have changed. Some answers will be given in future storytelling, but I don't intend to always give the player/reader all the answers.
From a writing perspective it of course give me more option now that the relationship between Harper and the MC is in trouble. The MC might get the opportunity to date others or perhaps cheat on Harper without upsetting the players too much. I could break up the relationship with Harper and let the MC find himself a new girlfriend. Or I could let season 2 be about a love story between Harper and MC. Perhaps the player in the end will decide if the relationship is worth fighting for?
The point is. We have only reached day 7. Season 2 is just in the beginning. Some new characters have been written in to the story and other charterers have been removed. The stories will be a little deeper in season 2 than in season 1, but we have just scratched the surface so far. Many will hate the story and scream about more incest, more BDSM or less bisexual women. I will not try to please all these people, but hopefully someone will enjoy the story as well, and just like in season 1 there will be plenty of opportunities to influence the story.
When you say you don't intend to give the player/reader all the answers that is a given. As a writer you are the only one that really knows how you want the story to develop. However to that point the reader still needs the story to flow. If the character change is too abrupt, you break the immersion on the player/reader side.
In regards to Harper the change was literally overnight for the player. When you play through season 2, the only thing mentioned in the intro was that a Cassandra moved to SF so Harper and the MC were sad but it gave them time to develop their relationship further (which implies positive growth) and that they are moving into a new house together(again nothing that indicates problems big problems in their relationship). That's it. If you just follow that logic it makes sense that to the reader they would assume that there have been no issues with their relationship.
Because you put in a 2-3 month time skip, we as the reader rely on you the story teller to fill us in on what happened... not to just change the character because of the future content you envision. It's not like we're asking you to tell us the whole story yet as that will be unraveled as we play through it, but some context would be helpful. You can't just expect the reader to just go with it because you have plans. Its your job as the storyteller to lead the readers where you want to take them, not just throw them where you want them to go and expect them to come to the same conclusions as you.
For me I came in and played the game for it's character renders, tags and story and I enjoy a lot of the games here. I personally would like all game developers and writers to do well as they give me much entertainment which I really appreciate and would like to see you succeed in your venture. At this time though I would highly recommend since you don't have a graphics person to at least get an editor for the story part of it... find a couple of people to talk through where you are taking the story and have them review the game before you release it, because this sequel did not feel like a game or a demo but more of a storyboard for a game. It really felt clunky.
Anyways wish the best for ya!
In regards to Harper the change was literally overnight for the player. When you play through season 2, the only thing mentioned in the intro was that a Cassandra moved to SF so Harper and the MC were sad but it gave them time to develop their relationship further (which implies positive growth) and that they are moving into a new house together(again nothing that indicates problems big problems in their relationship). That's it. If you just follow that logic it makes sense that to the reader they would assume that there have been no issues with their relationship.
Because you put in a 2-3 month time skip, we as the reader rely on you the story teller to fill us in on what happened... not to just change the character because of the future content you envision. It's not like we're asking you to tell us the whole story yet as that will be unraveled as we play through it, but some context would be helpful. You can't just expect the reader to just go with it because you have plans. Its your job as the storyteller to lead the readers where you want to take them, not just throw them where you want them to go and expect them to come to the same conclusions as you.
For me I came in and played the game for it's character renders, tags and story and I enjoy a lot of the games here. I personally would like all game developers and writers to do well as they give me much entertainment which I really appreciate and would like to see you succeed in your venture. At this time though I would highly recommend since you don't have a graphics person to at least get an editor for the story part of it... find a couple of people to talk through where you are taking the story and have them review the game before you release it, because this sequel did not feel like a game or a demo but more of a storyboard for a game. It really felt clunky.
Anyways wish the best for ya!
Thanks! I really appreciate the feedback!
As you read in the MC's thought process in the game, he is also confused by Harper's behavior. He tries to explain it with stress and the opening of the new school. When Camilla brings up the age-difference then the MC wonder if this could be troubling Harper more than he realized at first. The MC is puzzled by Harper's behavior just like the readers. It's not like we can pinpoint something specific that happened within the 2-3 months that we can put in a summary of the summer.
The months between season 1 and season 2 has also made it possible for Audrey to forgive Fae. It has made the relationship between Sarah and Victor stronger and also made them understand how much they miss each other when they are apart. All relationships have developed during the summer and anything else would have been strange, especially with new relationships like the one between Harper and the MC. I want the readers to be searching for the answers and have a analytic approach when they play the game. I want them to interpret the things they read.
I totally understand what you mean with storyboard for a game, and I can admit that is how I sometimes think when I write it. I want to make a base for a game I will make in the future. However I also know that realistically that game might never be produced, so I release my writing here and hope that someone enjoys the story.
- May 13, 2018
- 360
- 111
ok so far i have made it probably made it half way through, and i found a error in the storyline,
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