VN Ren'Py Abandoned A.O.A. Academy [Ch.5 Gold] [TLGGAMES]

[botc76]

I have to say I agree with you 100%. The author should have the freedom to write what he wants and how he wants it. The scene in question does come from the left field a bit, but I do not think in any way it's bad and that it should be rewritten.

At this point it's mostly up to the dev whether he wants to write what he has in mind or try and cater to as many people as possible, probably lowering the quality of the story in the process.

There is a difference between removing content because people don't like it, or to rewrite a part that has characters acting against any semblance of rationality.

From what I've seen most people don't have a problem with the scene playing out as it did, up until the point where the MC just suddenly becomes so incredible friendly with Jenny, despite her practically blackmailing him in any sense of the word.
And mind you, there are several instances where you can choose to react differently to her demands, and no matter what you choose, even if you make decisions that clearly show the MC doesn't like being forced this way, the next scene you still become so friendly with her and spend the afternoon just chatting it up, in which way does that make the slightest sense, unless you don't give a fuck about character development and ONLY play it for the porn (which would be completely fine as well, but just not what I or many others here do).

 

[erisedxes]

I got perfect score from Jenny and Ashley, can I get the perfect score for others to unlock the gallery?
I still got 3 locked image in the gallery.

 

[House Of Black]

She does comes off to me as a caring sweetheart to me for the most part, I still love her character.

No she doesn’t lol, she comes off as manipulative.

 

[PinkGoddess]

Freak On A Leash a facepalm for making fan sigs? haha ok.

 

[House Of Black]

Freak On A Leash a facepalm for making fan sigs? haha ok.

I didn’t like it lol, sorry if I hurt you.

 

[Moose_Tracks]

facepalm for making fan sigs?

How dare you take time out of your own day to create free sigs people will surely enjoy and appreciate. I swear, the nerve on some folks...

 

[visagedirect]

This is how Renders should be in 2020, Beautiful, stunning, WOW, i feel sorry other devs because this raises the bar, Keep up the good work ! I LOVE IT

 

[bububananas]

Great work, by the way, can anyone name the song used?

Intro Song: Kadesh - Hello Love

 

[Wicked Garden]

I'll rewrite and add some scenes in the prologue chapter along with the first chapter to make her less forceful in her approach. However, this will necessitate a full replay of the prologue chapter, which I don't think that most people would like to do.

I didn't expect people to hate her as much as they did. Maybe it's a writer's bias, or perhaps it's because I already knew her story while writing the prologue chapter.

There is an imbalance of power dynamics between the MC and Jenny, which is because she's rich and owns half of the school and the player being a normal person who comes from a farm. But the imbalance won't stay that way forever, in the next few chapters it'll shift and become a healthy relationship between Jenny and MC.

In all honesty rewriting it would be a colossal waste of time, it's already happened anyway. Besides, I'm already looking forward to what's next.

 

[Bucketbot89]

I also think the Jenny stuff should be left alone. Rewriting something just because you didn't get the response you wanted is not a good look, imo. I think you should write what you want, and let the chips fall where they may. Some people are gonna like Jenny, others dislike her, and that's fine. A certain dev of a certain game is rewriting parts of a certain character because he didn't like the hate she was getting, but I don't he's gonna change very many minds.
I like Jenny just fine by the way.

 

[Ripson]

Intro Song: Kadesh - Hello Love

Thnx

 

[Max1276]

That's certainly a viewpoint.

I prefer to criticize game elements I find discordant and prefer to read forum threads from others who do the same.

So, maybe if you don't like it when people criticize work made from another you should skip reading the forum threads and just go enjoy the game?

What i mean Constructive criticism are always welcome to keep going and done better but as i always told this is a game and not real life and maybe its me but i don't see all this hate for Jenny i mean she is a little bitch ,yes but we don't know what's under her skin.

 

[Tragic Princess]

No she doesn’t lol, she comes off as manipulative.

I'm trying to be positive here lol

 

[Tragic Princess]

I also think the Jenny stuff should be left alone. Rewriting something just because you didn't get the response you wanted is not a good look, imo. I think you should write what you want, and let the chips fall where they may. Some people are gonna like Jenny, others dislike her, and that's fine. A certain dev of a certain game is rewriting parts of a certain character because he didn't like the hate she was getting, but I don't he's gonna change very many minds.
I like Jenny just fine by the way.

Yeah changing stories to please others is never a good thing.

 

[Max1276]

That post deserves a price, really. Haven't read something that made as little sense for a long time.
You don't like criticism? Like at all? Under no circumstances? How about crawling under a rock then, because sorry to break it to you, as long as anything happens, creatively or not, people will have a positive or negative opinion about it and that always includes criticism.

Besides, criticism is a positive thing, as long as it isn't just a negative diatribe.
Someone who creates something is almost never able to judge it objectively, it's his or her creation, so how could they?
In addition many things that look good in theory don't work out when presented to the public, whether it's readers, viewers or players, that's why you NEED criticism to make you aware of those problems, you couldn't even see.
Books, comics, films and many games usually have editors who often catch the worst of the bad ideas, before the public actually gets to see them, but those aren't infallible as well, not to mention that many games here are never seen by anyone resembling a story editor.

Case in point this game here, of course the dev should tell his story, but if people play it and feel that something doesn't work the way it should be and make the dev aware of it, that is a good thing.
In the end it's up to the dev to decide what to do, but a good dev, who wants to improve will always be willing to at least consider if the criticism is valid.

And as for the last part of your post, I for one LIKED the game and that's WHY I decided to point out the one thing that wasn't working for me at all.
I'm pretty sure none of the people who wrote their opinions here in the thread, need you to tell them that they should or shouldn't play the game, because there is a fucking difference between not liking fe. a genre like NTR (where you would simply not play those games) and not liking an aspect of a game you otherwise enjoy.

What i mean Constructive criticism are always welcome to keep going and done better but as i always told this is a game and not real life and maybe its me but i don't see all this hate for Jenny i mean she is a little bitch ,yes but we don't know what's under her skin.

 

[Joyce Harding]

I also think the Jenny stuff should be left alone. Rewriting something just because you didn't get the response you wanted is not a good look, imo. I think you should write what you want, and let the chips fall where they may. Some people are gonna like Jenny, others dislike her, and that's fine. A certain dev of a certain game is rewriting parts of a certain character because he didn't like the hate she was getting, but I don't he's gonna change very many minds.
I like Jenny just fine by the way.

Correct, people are going to hate her regardless.

 

[TrueLoveGames]

What I want is for people to stop calling her an evil bitch. Or that she should go to jail. Or that she will ruin everyone's life if they don't want to become her slave. That's simply not who she is. And honestly, it hurts me a little reading those statements.

These discussions doesn't help me, it doesn't help anyone. I also don't think these discussions are constructive criticism.

Right now, all that I know is that I failed to deliver the correct message in regards to her character. And that's what I wanted to focus on. I'm not planning to rewrite the entire prologue chapter, now that's just stupid.

I wanted to make sure to have a solid foundation for this project to continue from. There are many scenes that I didn't have enough time to put into the prologue chapter that I could now. So I think of this as an opportunity to make those scenes happen.

 

[Meridian]

I dont really think there is a lot needs to be done to make Jenny feel less icky to some. Remove bad end since if she is willing to be complicit in ruining main characters chances of ever being in college and not even show his dads latter then it does make her quite unlikeable. And just make her say that removing shirt and what goes after is not something main character must do but its something mc can do for fun if he is up for it.

 

[oidex]

What I want is for people to stop calling her an evil bitch. Or that she should go to jail. Or that she will ruin everyone's life if they don't want to become her slave. That's simply not who she is. And honestly, it hurts me a little reading those statements.

These discussions doesn't help me, it doesn't help anyone. I also don't think these discussions are constructive criticism.

Right now, all that I know is that I failed to deliver the correct message in regards to her character. And that's what I wanted to focus on. I'm not planning to rewrite the entire prologue chapter, now that's just stupid.

I wanted to make sure to have a solid foundation for this project to continue from. There are many scenes that I didn't have enough time to put into the prologue chapter that I could now. So I think of this as an opportunity to make those scenes happen.

A complete rewrite would be a waste of your precious time, nor is it required. Simply changing a few sentences would be enough. Instead of blackmailing him she could just say that they have been looking for someone to look after the house, to which he would think that that would be a good way to repay her kindness. Doesn't change the direction of the story but would set a much more positive tone.
When he gets there she could ask him to take off his top and instead of him feeling like a manwhore and beg her to stop, he could just think something along the lines of "oh well, I often worked topless at the farm when it was hot, so why not?"
Her calmly asking him how he liked it afterwards and them chatting like friends would make a lot more sense in that scenario.

As for people saying that she should go to jail, well blackmail into sexual harassment ARE criminal offences that will net you a few years in most countries.

 

[Moose_Tracks]

That's simply not who she is. And honestly, it hurts me a little reading those statements.

Don't get overly discouraged. The nature of most threads on this site tend to nitpick and dissect everything with a fine-toothed comb. If anything, it could be considered flattering and indicative of the quality of your story that so many people already care this much to discuss it in the way they have.

You clearly have a story to tell and I think it's important to stay as true to your original vision as possible. Maybe it will take longer than you would have hoped for, but everything we've seen in the first release showcases you're more than capable in revealing who Jenny and the rest of the cast of characters truly are.