This is not necessary, in my opinion. I think you just need to polish the story. The whole story was just fan-service-fest. I'm not complaining about it, just do it more smoothly. People just want to know, WTF happens on their screens. For example, why is the mother so filthy and does not see anything wrong with wanking her own son? Why did this waitress just throw herself into the hands of the MC? All of these things should be more... sensible.
You have to admit that the last part was just a crazy mess, and then try to understand why this is so, and then just fix your mistakes.
Rintal makes a good point.
It has been said advice is often just ignorance and ego disguised as helpfulness, so take what I'm saying with a grain of salt.
If anyone remembers the show
LOST about a Malaysian airliner disappearing over the Pacific... When the show was still in production mode some of the writers who worked on
Buffy went to work for
LOST. One of the first thing these writers asked was what is the mythology of the story/?, meaning what is the end game and do you have the plot points and characters mapped out. These writers were told no it wasn't needed, they left after accurately predicting what would happen to the show.
When you create a narrative you need to have it mapped out, preferably a storyboard. That way you know where you are going and can step back and look at things like as Rintal pointed out a "...
mother so filthy and does not see anything wrong with wanking her own son..." to see if it makes any sense and if not can you give it a supporting structure or if it's just too over the top toss it out.
I'm not saying the dev did not do this prep work, but if he did maybe get some outside opinions, or if he did not maybe sit down and ask "what do I want from this story and how will I get it there?" Then walk away for a while before reviewing what you decided to see if it still holds to your vision.
Again just my opinion, and what has worked for me in the past.
