VN Ren'Py A Town Called Tool [v10.0] [Notretsam]

[Notretsam]

I noticed the 'female protagonist' and 'lesbian' tags together. Can we, or can we not?

There will be lesbian scenes in future, be awhile away though.

>Making sure mom looking like in her mid 20s when the main character just hit the adulthood or is in his early 20s aka toddler giving a birth to another baby?

Change my view.

1) if you look at tags in post on front page, there is no incest in this VN
2) Right at start of story Simon mentions his dad remarried, so, therefore, Brenda is not his mum

 

[putzseila]

It looks like from now on we're gonna call these kinda weird MCs as "THE NEW NORMAL"

The odder the MC, the bigger his dick, too.

 

[jackoffonher]

Any time I see redone/remake/remastered in the title of a VN, that's an obvious red flag.

 

[Notretsam]

Any time I see redone/remake/remastered in the title of a VN, that's an obvious red flag.

or its someone who is learning/growing as a developer, and its someone who is willing to admit, they made mistakes on the first demo and fixed the mistakes in the second demo

 

[M'95]

Yes there are bank accounts/trust fund accounts that let the parent-guardian decide when to cough up the cash.
Check it out at your local bank!
We have such an arrangement with our eldest who just turned 18 so she wouldn't go spending berserk right on her 18th.

Thanks for explaining, I think I also mixed up the meaning of inheritence and trust fund.

As a story device it seems weak, what exactly is stopping the MC from just starting his life somewhere away from this toxic home and earning his own way in the world (might be a better question for the writer)?

 

[fulcrum]

Was gonna try this I like the fact your not some Good looking Kid all the girls would fawn over with little effort.
But then I read this comment.

WTF so I find a book that would let me the MC control and fuck a woman any woman and the first thing I do is use it so my friend can get his dick wet? you can fuck right off with that idea no way I am playing a game where I just help my long haired friend get his rocks off.
and I don't do friends seconds sloppy or otherwise.
If i'm gonna use a Mind Control power for anything it's not to help others fuck don't care how good a friend they are.

But good luck with the game Dev.

Just Sayin.

shes "under" (not really), and his buddy juet jumps on her possibly to sell the boy on the idea.

 

[Notretsam]

Thanks for explaining, I think I also mixed up the meaning of inheritence and trust fund.

As a story device it seems weak, what exactly is stopping the MC from just starting his life somewhere away from this toxic home and earning his own way in the world (might be a better question for the writer)?

Going assume you didn't read the story in the intro, which my intro did allude to people not doing that, so don't blame you.

the reason being is he trapped in that town, as its the first new town built in a land (France) previously unlivable due to a nuclear war, the story is set in a post-apocalyptic world.

 

[CboyC95]

There will be lesbian scenes in future, be awhile away though.

But we can't choose who our protagonist is, or is it sequential?

 

[M'95]

Going assume you didn't read the story in the intro, which my intro did allude to people not doing that, so don't blame you.

the reason being is he trapped in that town, as its the first new town built in a land (France) previously unlivable due to a nuclear war, the story is set in a post-apocalyptic world.

Correct, I have not started this VN yet and I should before I say more stupid things

 

[LWtbo]

I wasn't gonna try this but since the Dev actually facepalmed my last post which is a first I must say to be facepalmed by the Dev.
I figgered it was only right that I try this game and I must say I was plesently suprised it wasn't half as crap as I'd figgered it would be.
If this rewrite is any idication to go by and its his second attempt then the first atempt must of been really really bad.
the MC's reaction's to what his step mom and sis are doing is frankly childishat best he is just shy o throwing a tantrum so I have no simapthy for the MC and it plays right into their hands.
And we are supossed to believe that the book has power over the step mom when the naighbour as much as indicates she's wasn't effected by it just layed along because she's a slag and would of let them both bang her.
And even if she was under the books influence still remains that despite the MC supossedly knowing what his freind was planing and the MC not being comfortable with it he still go's along with it anyway.
the MC is just a wimpy child thats easily led.
And don't get me started on his friend or should I say his uncle because if thats his friend then his friends had a fucking hard life for a 20+ year old,
who has a bestfreind that looks that old at the MC's age seriously if the MC wasn't supossed to be 21 I'd suspect his friend of being a pedo that was grooming him.
And what happends when he do's try useing the book on step momy Dearest who sems to be the only female so far it actualy seems to work on do's he get a hand job like most slow burns would no he go's straight to a blow job "whats wrong with that" I hear you ask simple if she is under enough to give a blow job then she's under enough to get some pussy why settle for a blow job when theres pussy on offer? makes no sence except possibly if your a wimpy assed child of an MC.
I'm begining to think that the MC and the Logan where the only young looking male toons the Dev could get.
seriously the idea behind the game is good the execution of that Idea is at best crap.

I know I'm being harsh but its not a review its just me telling the Dev what I think is wrong with his game he can take it or leave it it his choice.
But I wasn't gonna sugar coat it if I thought the game was bad.
Not after the Dev facepalmed my earlyer post there by making me waste the 30 minutes or so it took to play and read this game which is time I will sadly never get back.
atleast this time I won't be suprised when this one is facepalmed.

This Is Just My Opinion By The Way.

 

[DrWho8248]

Male Protagonist, Female Protagonist, Multiple Protagonist,

Male Protagonist - Simon
Female Protagonist - ??????

 

[DrWho8248]

I have ask... 45mb it joke? O_O
Or Dev already kompressed his game for us? O_O

 

[Notretsam]

But we can't choose who our protagonist is, or is it sequential?

no choices and yes sequential

 

[Notretsam]

I wasn't gonna try this but since the Dev actually facepalmed my last post which is a first I must say to be facepalmed by the Dev.

The fact you posted without even trying it and you confirm that in the quote, this shows that I was right to facepalm yours post.

Am not going facepalm your second post because you can think everything in that post if you want, however, you assume a lot from just one chapter, after all, chapter 1 is just 25 pages from a 296-page script.

Also, it appears you are someone else who didn't read the intro (or you misunderstood it), if you did, then you would understand why Simon and Jimmy are friends and why Simon is trapped in the town.

 

[Tod666]

and android version ???

 

[LWtbo]

My first post was based on what others that had played said I think I even quoted one Plus from the picture now removed that showed grampa fucking the slut next door which confimed it. so I had no need to download the game to make my feelings on what the game sofar contained and my feeling on it.

As for my secound post it was and can only be based on the impression given by playing the game as it is at the present.
Common mistake by Dev's is that just because you might know how the game will go dosn't mean we the players do we can only go by whats already there.

and that brings me back to whats already there.
First off I read the intro and I understand it fine I explains to me why the MC allows himself at 21 to be grounded what it dosn't explain or elude to is why a 21 your olds best friend is grampa we already know there is at least 1 other male in that town and he is nearer the MC's age than grampa is.

And I'm sorry if you don't like the impression your game gave me but thats what it was an impression not an assumtion.
But for a 21 year old who has been abused for a while by his step mom and step sister to still act out and argue his inocence when he knows it will only result in longer and longer groundings is the act of a child not a responce you would exspect from what I would assume in this instance to be a fairly inteligent 21 year old.
I say that because his inner dialogue indicates he knows he is just making it worse for himself yet he keeps going.
and also the inner dialogue is had to distinguish from the actual talking most Dev's would use a diffrent font or colour or brakets to distinguish the diffrence just sayin.

look I have an older sister and when we was younger she was a bitch to me for some reason she didn't like that her freinds liked me not fancied me just liked me and so she would get me into trouble any chance she got.
the first few times I would react the way the MC did but then I wised up.
Not only did not arguing back stop me geting punished every time it evencahlly stoped me geting punished at all becuase my parents learned 9 times out of 10 I hadn't done what my sister claimed and she was just trying to get me into trouble for the sake of it.
and as an added bonuss me saying whatever and just ignoring my sister really really really pissed her off infact it still do's to this day.

my point is acting how he do's helps Step Mom but since the Step Mom is looking to ground him it wouldn't stop him being grounded.
But it would make it so much harder for her to justify grounding him for longer as well as pissing both her and his step sis and her friends off.
which makes way more sence to me than his child like tantrums he throws now he's 21 for gods sake not 12.

and what I said about the book is also true you write it as if the neighbours Hypnotised but at the end her own thoughts contradict this by making it seem she was just pretending and that she wasn't hypnotised she is just so much of a slut that would of happly let them both bang her while she was pretending.

Yet then you now you expect us to believe it actualy do's work on the Step Mom?.
and then there is the blowjob that just don't seem to fit right.
See in a slow burn game first it's a Hand job and then Blow job in some its a ass rub next or a foot job or a thigh job then its sex.
But the neighbours bit makes your's look like its a quicker game and in thoughs types its normaly straight to shagging
and the hand jobs and blow jobs are later.

And I still maintain if you have your evil step mom under a hypnossis spell that you believe lets her perform a blow job she won't remeber then you would be stupid not to go straight for the shagging and if you disliked her as much as the MC do's then Annal sex is first and without lube.
since the next day her ass will hurt like hell and she won't have a clue why.

Once again these are just my opinion based on what I can play of yoour game sofar.

Take it or leave it your choice its you game your the dev after all.

Just Sayin.

 

[DA22]

My first post was based on what others that had played said I think I even quoted one Plus from the picture now removed that showed grampa fucking the slut next door which confimed it. so I had no need to download the game to make my feelings on what the game sofar contained and my feeling on it.

As for my secound post it was and can only be based on the impression given by playing the game as it is at the present.
Common mistake by Dev's is that just because you might know how the game will go dosn't mean we the players do we can only go by whats already there.

and that brings me back to whats already there.
First off I read the intro and I understand it fine I explains to me why the MC allows himself at 21 to be grounded what it dosn't explain or elude to is why a 21 your olds best friend is grampa we already know there is at least 1 other male in that town and he is nearer the MC's age than grampa is.

And I'm sorry if you don't like the impression your game gave me but thats what it was an impression not an assumtion.
But for a 21 year old who has been abused for a while by his step mom and step sister to still act out and argue his inocence when he knows it will only result in longer and longer groundings is the act of a child not a responce you would exspect from what I would assume in this instance to be a fairly inteligent 21 year old.
I say that because his inner dialogue indicates he knows he is just making it worse for himself yet he keeps going.
and also the inner dialogue is had to distinguish from the actual talking most Dev's would use a diffrent font or colour or brakets to distinguish the diffrence just sayin.

look I have an older sister and when we was younger she was a bitch to me for some reason she didn't like that her freinds liked me not fancied me just liked me and so she would get me into trouble any chance she got.
the first few times I would react the way the MC did but then I wised up.
Not only did not arguing back stop me geting punished every time it evencahlly stoped me geting punished at all becuase my parents learned 9 times out of 10 I hadn't done what my sister claimed and she was just trying to get me into trouble for the sake of it.
and as an added bonuss me saying whatever and just ignoring my sister really really really pissed her off infact it still do's to this day.

my point is acting how he do's helps Step Mom but since the Step Mom is looking to ground him it wouldn't stop him being grounded.
But it would make it so much harder for her to justify grounding him for longer as well as pissing both her and his step sis and her friends off.
which makes way more sence to me than his child like tantrums he throws now he's 21 for gods sake not 12.

and what I said about the book is also true you write it as if the neighbours Hypnotised but at the end her own thoughts contradict this by making it seem she was just pretending and that she wasn't hypnotised she is just so much of a slut that would of happly let them both bang her while she was pretending.

Yet then you now you expect us to believe it actualy do's work on the Step Mom?.
and then there is the blowjob that just don't seem to fit right.
See in a slow burn game first it's a Hand job and then Blow job in some its a ass rub next or a foot job or a thigh job then its sex.
But the neighbours bit makes your's look like its a quicker game and in thoughs types its normaly straight to shagging
and the hand jobs and blow jobs are later.

And I still maintain if you have your evil step mom under a hypnossis spell that you believe lets her perform a blow job she won't remeber then you would be stupid not to go straight for the shagging and if you disliked her as much as the MC do's then Annal sex is first and without lube.
since the next day her ass will hurt like hell and she won't have a clue why.

Once again these are just my opinion based on what I can play of yoour game sofar.

Take it or leave it your choice its you game your the dev after all.

Just Sayin.

Well the whole handjob, bj and so on stairway to heaven progression also makes no sense at all even in a slow burn, unless both partners are sexually very inexperienced and exploring their sexuality. Never made much sense to me in situations were both partner were not virginal. It is not like it is much less intimate and I really would not want to have to feed the amount of women daily that might happily fuck you, but do not like giving bj's. I would be broke in a day or two. Talking realism.

 

[Notretsam]

My first post was based on what others that had played said I think I even quoted one Plus from the picture now removed that showed grampa fucking the slut next door which confimed it. so I had no need to download the game to make my feelings on what the game sofar contained and my feeling on it.

As for my secound post it was and can only be based on the impression given by playing the game as it is at the present.
Common mistake by Dev's is that just because you might know how the game will go dosn't mean we the players do we can only go by whats already there.

and that brings me back to whats already there.
First off I read the intro and I understand it fine I explains to me why the MC allows himself at 21 to be grounded what it dosn't explain or elude to is why a 21 your olds best friend is grampa we already know there is at least 1 other male in that town and he is nearer the MC's age than grampa is.

And I'm sorry if you don't like the impression your game gave me but thats what it was an impression not an assumtion.
But for a 21 year old who has been abused for a while by his step mom and step sister to still act out and argue his inocence when he knows it will only result in longer and longer groundings is the act of a child not a responce you would exspect from what I would assume in this instance to be a fairly inteligent 21 year old.
I say that because his inner dialogue indicates he knows he is just making it worse for himself yet he keeps going.
and also the inner dialogue is had to distinguish from the actual talking most Dev's would use a diffrent font or colour or brakets to distinguish the diffrence just sayin.

look I have an older sister and when we was younger she was a bitch to me for some reason she didn't like that her freinds liked me not fancied me just liked me and so she would get me into trouble any chance she got.
the first few times I would react the way the MC did but then I wised up.
Not only did not arguing back stop me geting punished every time it evencahlly stoped me geting punished at all becuase my parents learned 9 times out of 10 I hadn't done what my sister claimed and she was just trying to get me into trouble for the sake of it.
and as an added bonuss me saying whatever and just ignoring my sister really really really pissed her off infact it still do's to this day.

my point is acting how he do's helps Step Mom but since the Step Mom is looking to ground him it wouldn't stop him being grounded.
But it would make it so much harder for her to justify grounding him for longer as well as pissing both her and his step sis and her friends off.
which makes way more sence to me than his child like tantrums he throws now he's 21 for gods sake not 12.

and what I said about the book is also true you write it as if the neighbours Hypnotised but at the end her own thoughts contradict this by making it seem she was just pretending and that she wasn't hypnotised she is just so much of a slut that would of happly let them both bang her while she was pretending.

Yet then you now you expect us to believe it actualy do's work on the Step Mom?.
and then there is the blowjob that just don't seem to fit right.
See in a slow burn game first it's a Hand job and then Blow job in some its a ass rub next or a foot job or a thigh job then its sex.
But the neighbours bit makes your's look like its a quicker game and in thoughs types its normaly straight to shagging
and the hand jobs and blow jobs are later.

And I still maintain if you have your evil step mom under a hypnossis spell that you believe lets her perform a blow job she won't remeber then you would be stupid not to go straight for the shagging and if you disliked her as much as the MC do's then Annal sex is first and without lube.
since the next day her ass will hurt like hell and she won't have a clue why.

Once again these are just my opinion based on what I can play of yoour game sofar.

Take it or leave it your choice its you game your the dev after all.

Just Sayin.

didn't read all that, that is to much text for a Sunday, I facepalmed your first post because it was stupid, u whined because one male character got to fuck a woman before another guy did. if you don't like other guys having sex, then I recommend saying no if the unlikely scenario of an orgy comes up for you.

as for everything else you said, that is your opinion which is yet again based on 25 pages of content from a 296-page script, I think you need to learn a thing called patience, seems you want to know everything now.

end of the day, don't like my VN, then unwatch and move on, your choice but the story is not changing.

 

[btrain33]

Was gonna try this I like the fact your not some Good looking Kid all the girls would fawn over with little effort.
But then I read this comment.

WTF so I find a book that would let me the MC control and fuck a woman any woman and the first thing I do is use it so my friend can get his dick wet? you can fuck right off with that idea no way I am playing a game where I just help my long haired friend get his rocks off.
and I don't do friends seconds sloppy or otherwise.
If i'm gonna use a Mind Control power for anything it's not to help others fuck don't care how good a friend they are.

But good luck with the game Dev.

Just Sayin.

Totally agree 100% on this. Also not a big fan of VN's with the multiple protagonist tracks.

 

[hngg]

Hey Notretsam, why are you using such an old version of Ren'Py?
Also, your main .EXE is detected as a trojan or generic malware by

You must be registered to see the links

. It's probably a false positive; you should update Ren'Py and leave the icon alone to avoid that.

Here is a Win/Lin/Mac build doing just that -

You must be registered to see the links

P.S. — I've taken a look at the game and I must say, it needs more "time in the oven". The text needs a lot of proofreading. I don't think anyone here expects a college-level magnum opus, but ending sentences with some form of punctuation, correct spelling, and proper use of contractions can't be too much to ask for. A nearly 300 page script is commendable, but it is clear a few more drafts are necessary before you move on to show us more of it.