Ren'Py Abandoned Academy Love [v0.4a] [Darqueen]

2.00 star(s) 3 Votes

tsunku

Engaged Member
Nov 6, 2017
2,916
1,554
I steal the shorts from sister and go to the school and pass time for days, no gym class anymore. The mom and son sleep in bed and wake up in the morning, nothing more. I pass the time for days in each area and nothing new. I guess that is all the content.
eh?? all i get is the beginning then at the school the director's office then nothing at all, i can go to 5 places. no gym, nothing, hell not even what i saw in the first release!! wtf???
 

Jonah Arkon

Active Member
Sep 22, 2017
675
795
After reviewing this, I highly suggest everyone wait for some real substance. Even when back to the prior posting and although it is a good start it really has nothing to offer, I am sorry to say. However unlike most beginning projects posted, at lest they have a developed story and UI interface. Your given just a few rooms, a location that leads no where and you have to skip time to get any progress to obtain the bath scene and the gym class.
Unfortunate to see such depressing work, But hay I will give you the benefit of doubt. May your new and don't have a developed team. The Project does have promise, but please don't take this post offensively, am simply attempting to help with some feed back. Well good luck.
 
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swelldude

Newbie
Feb 7, 2020
99
183
I know the developer is working hard on this, and I applaud him for it, nor do I intend to insult him, but I have to point out giant mistakes and plot confusion. Judging from the US flag in the Principal's office, I can assume this takes place in the USA. However, there are major cultural differences in the "Man of The House" narrative. This attitude may have flown in the very early 20th century (or some modern Asian cultures still), but for at least the last 60 years, "Man of The House" is not God or dictator status. In fact, most women would ignore you or kick you in the family jewels if you spoke to them like this kid. "Man of The House" has a different meaning in the USA. It usually means responsibility for the family's well being, not authority, and never ever "boss them around" and "you must obey me" status.

Then there's the mistakes in "His", "Her", "She", "Him" etc. I can only guess the developer has an Asian language as his native language and English is secondary. Those languages have the most problems when referring to different sexes. I can usually let this slide, but if you are making a game and you want it to look professional, at least learn and understand English gender references, as I realize most Asian languages are mostly sex neutral. A simple rule: Males are "He", "Him", "His", "Brother", "Son" and "Father", whereas females are "She", "Her", "Hers", "Sister", "Daughter" and "Mother". If you learn anything about English, this will be the most important thing for a game. We can leave politics out of this, but this is how English has been for hundreds of years.

The biggest confusing flaw is mixing up character roles. I'm going to call the oldest female character "Mother" and the younger the boy's twin "Sister". Ok, there was a bathroom shower scene about him (the main character) and his sister, that in the dialog kept calling her Mother, and did it more than once. This means the variable determining role for her is sometimes wrong. That needs to be fixed and made sure it never happens again, as that is confusing.

Most of this is proper quality control. Mistakes happen. However, it's also understanding the culture of the location you are telling about, and stop thinking everyone in the world behaves like your culture. Most Asian/Oriental cultures are nothing like American culture.

Developer, keep up the good work, but you have to fix that stuff.
 

Havik79

Conversation Conqueror
Sep 5, 2019
6,705
7,965
Dog shit, just total fucking shit, I can put up with grammar, spelling, and mixing up terms like Kalya saying I saw her penis, and I can do sandbox when it is a proper sandbox, but not this fucking dog shit mindless clicking around, and waiting for shit, getting steal sisters shorts then on Thursday than having to wait and do fucking NOTHING but time skip till Tuesday gym class to move the story, is fucking shit.

This game gives decent games like Lust Academy with its sandbox a bad name.
 

OrcDra

Member
Aug 22, 2018
294
367
Dog shit, just total fucking shit, I can put up with grammar, spelling, and mixing up terms like Kalya saying I saw her penis, and I can do sandbox when it is a proper sandbox, but not this fucking dog shit mindless clicking around, and waiting for shit, getting steal sisters shorts then on Thursday than having to wait and do fucking NOTHING but time skip till Tuesday gym class to move the story, is fucking shit.

This game gives decent games like Lust Academy with its sandbox a bad name.
Calm down? He said it's his first game and I guess a very very early version. I was confused that there is nothing to do but no need to get that mad about it.
 

Darth Vengeant

Well-Known Member
May 6, 2020
1,003
1,195
they should put either a walkthrough or a walkthrou mod for the best answers lol
There is a hint system, but the hint pops up ONCE and goes away. So, if you log out or do something else and came back to the game you probably forgot what the hint was didn't you? Yep. So, in reality, the hint system is garbage. It simply needs a notebook like other games have for you to see hints at all times.
 
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Cirdon

Well-Known Member
Nov 27, 2019
1,309
1,945
You can check the latest version, I'm sure it's already implemented in 0.2c.
The lightbulb is there, but the hints are not always worded the same which will lead to confusion. "Go to the director's office on Sunday.\n The office is located in the school." vs "Go to School on Sunday"

And in the navigation, the school is still not labeled (none of the 5 locations are). From a United States perspective the dormitories are part of the school, so from that perspective being in the dorm room is already being at school.

Also, in the directors office, two things are still jarringly out of place. The name plate of "Francisco Laguna, Saigon Operations" and the ashtray/pack of smokes. Smoking in public spaces (even school offices) would be completely unheard of.

Visiting the director apparently doesn't advance time, so going to the dorm room after I need to manually advance time.

Manually having to advance time breaks the immersion.

If I advance time while in the dorm room I move straight to sleep/spy on girls. If I move to the dorm bathroom *then* advance time I get the expected scene of Kayla getting a look at MC's dick. Then when I leave the bathroom I get the choice to spy on sleeping girls or sleep.

Now it's Monday morning and the next "other" hint is to go to school Tuesday morning. So there is no action to take until then?!?!? Give me an idle "class was boring" or "you and your sister went to orientation" if you really don't want us to go to an actual class until Tuesday. Having the dorm room be completely empty until it's time to possibly spy on the girls at night is just wrong.

You get another chance to spy on the girls, but there's no shower in the morning?

And... Tuesday, Gym class. And the teacher... and the suggestion you should stay in the current dorm room for at least a month.

And nothing to do until Thursday morning and now apparently playing pranks on your sister is a good idea?
"Find your sister after her gym class" which apparently isn't until the following Tuesday since the hint is "Go to the dormitory on Tuesday afternoon"???

Friday, no time was specified, nor was location so slowly advancing time and going location to location is annoying.

And there may be more but nothing has any use or reason so I'm bailing...

Why did I want to steal my sister's gym clothes? Why do I want to spy on my mother Monday night? None of this has any reason, so it just jumps from place to place without cause.
 
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Tkoyama

Member
Feb 25, 2020
473
600
Dog shit, just total fucking shit, I can put up with grammar, spelling, and mixing up terms like Kalya saying I saw her penis, and I can do sandbox when it is a proper sandbox, but not this fucking dog shit mindless clicking around, and waiting for shit, getting steal sisters shorts then on Thursday than having to wait and do fucking NOTHING but time skip till Tuesday gym class to move the story, is fucking shit.

This game gives decent games like Lust Academy with its sandbox a bad name.
Man, did you have a rough day? Do you need a hug? Are you angry because you accidentally stubbed your little toe on some corner? Try that woosah thing to see if you calm down.
Wtf, dude.
 
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Hysni

Engaged Member
Jan 7, 2020
2,890
5,303
Yeah Relax Guys -Hope someone can help Dev with Beter Translation and Grammar (y)
Game looks good (y)
 

methusalix55

Member
Jun 16, 2021
208
327
Hello Darqueen
Unfortunately, the story you want to tell is not new or surprising and only very few developers have managed to implement this topic in a really original way and also to continue / end it.

your solution to bypass the patreon rules unfortunately brings errors. if you adapt the specifications of tenant=mother and roommate=sister to the game description, it becomes brother/sister with an age difference of one year. in a conversation with the school administration, the two are then twins - but i can't say whether and how that affects further dialogues.
the english version could be revised/corrected, a problem with many developers, for whatever reason.

It is extremely noticeable that your notification system in the top right corner does not update when you have completed tasks. showing hints to other/new tasks only briefly in the upper left corner of the screen is not a solution - this problem should be fixed before more content or different routes are added. because of this bug i can only guess if there is more content or if i have reached the end of this version.

Unfortunately, no animations seem to be planned, but even without this future, this project still involves a lot of work.
good luck
 
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captainalvord

New Member
Feb 23, 2021
4
9
Like the graphics a lot, the look of the girls is up my alley. Major positive

The story is okay at best from what I played. Got to the second Yue and bullies choice and stopped. I couldn't choose the top choice of follow the bully and could only choose to join the bullies against Yue. First bully event I choose to intervene (ie. "Be a hero" option) and got beat up. So, the next interaction I can't choose Follow Bully because I don't have enough points and my only option is to join the same bullies I tried to stop?!? I guess it's "If you can't beat them join them" type decision. What points am I missing? I loaded an earlier save and choose to watch them bully Yue instead and then the second bully interaction I could follow the bully. Seems like a weird artificial barrier to these choices. And what are these points I'm missing. If there was a character status tracking these so the player knows and notice when they go up/down when you make choices, etc would be great

Overall, I like sandbox games as long as it's clear what to do. The lightbulb helps with that in the game. So, props there. Game seems to still be in early days so too many days of skipping through as there are no events. The two roommates story lines happen at the same day and time as each other too often at this stage so you have to choose one or the other. Could be spread out better.

Will wait a few updates and see where it develops.
 
2.00 star(s) 3 Votes