My next sentences may seem hyperbolic. I was so into the story rather than the fap mission out of depression, and I was not disappointed at all. I forgot that it was just a game, and halfway in the game up to the ending pushed me back to reality.
Trying to achieve my desirable scenes by replaying the game, I was always brought back to an ending that in a way it has a meaning related to the nature of reality. To me, like, "This is the ending that you meant to see. And just like some things happened in your life, this ending is the only far that you able to reach. And even if you have the chance to change reality, you will end up with questions like
Which one is the better ending, then? Which one is the best ending for you? Can you define what the best ending is? By now you will realize that this so-called ending is not a literal ending because as long as you can think about an ending, then at this very moment, you are not at the end of your life. Because your life is not yet ending. What you thought as the ending is just a speculation from imperfect observation to what was happened, the past. What you can do is just move on. Realize this, you may not have the ending you want but you can always find the ending is reasonably acceptable to you. Or, to be precise, you have to accept and learn from it as it becomes further far in the past. And after that, like always, you must move on. Moment pass, time brings in another future for you to speculate any ending."
At the end when I quit this game for real after its completion, I realized that I still have hope for my own defined meaningful life. Because I am ever not at the ending before I or the ever ends. The next thing I had in mind is to try again to quit fapping and found myself thinking more about moving from what I am to the future me closer to the meaning I seek to achieve while at the same time keep redefining what is meaningful. Well, I think by that I also have my definition of
trying my best.
For anyone reading this, good luck getting through life. May our life gets better and better for all of us
bye bye~