VN Ren'Py Completed Amy Girl Next Door [v1.0] [Moogoo]

3.90 star(s) 7 Votes
Discussion Reviews (7)
7767

7767

EAT
Trial Moderator
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Aug 5, 2016
684
100,079
Amydadtalk6.png

Overview:
Short VN around 30 minutes of play time, was created as a test game that probably will not be updated just for the purpose of learning renpy and testing my art style. The story is not great as the pictures were made first and the story made to fit but posting as I think there is enough for some to enjoy.
The story follows a young women who has a sudden change of life situation and is "reluctantly" forced to adjust.
If people like this sample let me know as I am working on another VN in a similar vain but hopefully better written and slightly slower corruption.
Please don't be shy offering constructive criticism I definitely need it and aslong as it is not just someone being a tool I will listen.​

Thread Updated: 2021-12-29
Release Date: 2021-12-29
Developer: Moogoo
Version: 1.0
OS: Windows, Linux, Mac
Language: English
Length: 30 minutes
Genre:
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Amybfhome.png Amydadmeet1.png Amydadmeet2.png Amypark4.png ​
 
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KKpotato

KKpotato

Cultured Pervert
Game Compressor
Game Developer
Nov 16, 2021
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Yes. You need Grammarly.
The renders are not very good. You use the same image a lot of the time. The dialogues do not match the character expression a lot of the time. You need to give more action during the sex scenes.
 
L

Lordisigler

Member
Sep 29, 2019
152
268
Firsteval, grammar. Secondly, I'm happy to see a new dev joining the dark theme side. I didn't see any weird fetishes that I don't follow like, foot thing, supa huge booba/ass, supa huge dick or girls installed with a dick. However, I prefer male protagonist and if you follow the path of NTR then make it a distinct optional route. I like my NTR when it needs me to think carefully during ingame choices. Making me think that if I chose wrong, the LI could be taken by a random Joe. It adds spiciness to the story.

If you want to see what a new dev made using those themes with the same style as your prototype, try Blackheart Hotel.
 
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menatv

Active Member
Dec 6, 2019
743
671
Yeah, the conversations could use some polishing at times. And I think it was a pretty good use of visuals. I like the woman. She definitely looks like the girl next door type.

So not bad for a first attempt. I would like a little more choices rather than a straight linear experience without any chance to decide whether or not to resist or not. Still, I think it's a decent start, all things considered. Will keep track of the progress. Hope the dev keeps learning and improving as they go along.
 
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ABlackOcean

ABlackOcean

Member
Apr 27, 2021
115
242
Explaining she is late and then having it in the conversation again is unnecessary.
also: normal dads dont talk about their daughters being an attractive eyecatcher to other men...
so depending on the kind of dad/character you want to show you should consider what he says and whats a no-no.

had me laughing: "the bus is good for you helps you see the world"
no. the bus doesnt help you see the world, it helps you see the neighborhood
and thats only if you re not totally invested in whatever your mobilephone offers.
If you make the dad say anything alike, this might be more of an answer from mc side...

in general: the text/lines were clearly put in with little care/love. very dry and heartless
but very ok for a try-out.

I love how mc is displayed as a spoiled girl, thats well done I think.

So overall a very good first try. I wonder what the actual game might be ;)
 
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EdPokol

EdPokol

Member
Mar 31, 2019
317
643
Obviously a first attempt, moogoo you gave fair warning so no problems there though I do think you overestimated the play time somewhat ;)
Renders are rough, they and the models, especially Amy, need work. Its personal ofc but to my taste Amy is (much) too skinny. Facial expressions are little subtle and do not match with the text. And obviously the text needs a proof reader.
Nothing much of a story so its hard to comment on but a good fp story (e.g. with well paced corruption) sure has my interest so I'm looking forward to new Amy adventures.

Keep it going, dev. If developing a game is a journey then you've taken the first steps (which is a lot more than many of us will ever do) (y)
 
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3.90 star(s) 7 Votes