VN Ren'Py Completed Avalon [v8.2] [Lockheart]

[Lockheart]

I really appreciate the support. It's been a rocky first attempt at a Novel. I know things moved kind of fast and most people find the way the characters act hard to believe. I'm taking note of it all. I'm sure that no matter how I dealt with an issue of this magnitude, there would be those that are extremely critical. It was simply a bad topic to try to tackle for my first game.

I'm going to finish up Avalon. I had planned for Seven total Acts in Avalon. I'm going to try to stick to that. And moving into my next piece of work, we'll find something a little more light-hearted. Perhaps a story about an ace detective making criminals look like fools?

For everyone that found something to love in Avalon, thank so much for your support and your kind words. I really appreciate it.

 

[Praenuntius]

Perhaps a story about an ace detective making criminals look like fools?

Maybe she should look for a new founded cult. I heard they want to recreate an extinct creature by getting a dna-sample of some random guys dick!

 

[KoGa3]

I have now tried the game again since the last major update (Act 3 to Act 4). At that time I had aborted the game prematurely because of the added choices that I think felt patched in.

Well, the game hasn't completely let go of me in the meantime, of course. For that it was - and this much I can say in advance, and is! - too good! In fact, not much has changed for me since my first vote: still great graphics, great characters, good story etc. Also the "too fast" progress of the relationships mentioned by some people was actually ok in my opinion.

But (of course there is a but...): I still have a hard time to get along with the "Additional Dialogue". They still only seem to be patched in for me, actually they disturb me when I dive into the story. But (now comes a positive but...): It's not a "dealbreaker" for me anymore. And as I said before - everything else in the game is still great for the most part.

Well, for me "Act 4" (I haven't tried Act 5 yet, I'd rather wait for the complete version) was the hoped-for good sequel to the game after all. But now I have to wait for the complete Act Five (I wonder if I can really resist...).

 

[eightypercent]

WOW, Lockheart, wow... amazing work, thank you.

Avalon [5.2] is a very beautiful and imaginative novel. The characters are story and so well thought out. The writing is witty, intelligent and very creative. 5/5

One small comment... during Octavia's "makeover", she kisses Avalon showing her side profile: the colour of her eyebrows and eyelashes match her hair colour... i assume that her hair colour is very fair / platinum but in that case the brows and lashes would be darker.

 

[Lockheart]

i assume that her hair colour is very fair / platinum but in that case the brows and lashes would be darker.

Yeah, well, yeah. That's tricky. A lot of things about Octavia are strange and mysterious. And you're right, genetically, she should have darker eyelashes and eyebrows. But she doesn't.

She is, by design, unusual.

I'm so glad you've enjoyed it. That's really wonderful to hear. It's been very emotional for me, watching the characters grow and heal and figure things out. I see a few places where I could have taken more time and fleshed out but overall, I've been very happy with it.

Thank you for your kind words! They really help!

 

[Lockheart]

I have now tried the game again since the last major update (Act 3 to Act 4). At that time I had aborted the game prematurely because of the added choices that I think felt patched in.

Well, the game hasn't completely let go of me in the meantime, of course. For that it was - and this much I can say in advance, and is! - too good! In fact, not much has changed for me since my first vote: still great graphics, great characters, good story etc. Also the "too fast" progress of the relationships mentioned by some people was actually ok in my opinion.

But (of course there is a but...): I still have a hard time to get along with the "Additional Dialogue". They still only seem to be patched in for me, actually they disturb me when I dive into the story. But (now comes a positive but...): It's not a "dealbreaker" for me anymore. And as I said before - everything else in the game is still great for the most part.

Well, for me "Act 4" (I haven't tried Act 5 yet, I'd rather wait for the complete version) was the hoped-for good sequel to the game after all. But now I have to wait for the complete Act Five (I wonder if I can really resist...).

A little last thing:
Since I occasionally make game mods, I could not resist here either. And since I don't like the "additional choices" that much, of course I made a patch for that too - but have a look for yourself...
(Info: start a new game)

I'm really sorry you don't like the Additional Dialogue. I would hate to remove them though. I had so much fun coming up with more jokes for certain situations. And I really feel like they add a little replay-ability. I know they sort of halt the flow of the story in a way but getting you re-engaged by making you pick an option helps jostle you back awake.

Or maybe not. I don't know. People wanted choices. I feel like it was way more awesome to have choices that make you laugh instead of, you know, "Should I peep on my sister or shouldn't I?".

It was a creative decision and for better or for worse, I actually had a lot of fun doing it. And I think some people will find it fun rolling back to see what else Avalon or Byron could have said in some situations.

I'm glad that, on the whole, you enjoyed your time though.

(It took me a while to figure out how to respond. Sorry. )

 

[Praenuntius]

"Should I peep on my sister or shouldn't I?"

especially since the answer is always 'peep'

 

[RedBone]

This game is in my top 5. (in no specific order). I picked Dallas as I really like her. I'm just wondering if the Other option will have the other person also talk with penny about her night with... someone. If she doesn't follow the same storyline, ill start new and pick her. If she also does tho, ill sadly have to "walk" away from this game as something about that part just really got me upset.. (guess I was hoping for duel romance or something) and I wish there woulda been a warning to skip it or something.

 

[jish55]

They're actually really growing on me. They've got kind of a bromantic Beavis and Butthead thing going on. And I actually had to buy and watch that movie again. It's even better than I remember.

I definitely get that vibe, and honestly, I feel like they're the type of people who went into this line of work because they thought it'd let them live out their comic book dreams, which could be a reason why Penny was so lenient on Merc. It would also make sense why Merc choose to go by that name, just because he probably thought it'd be cool.

 

[Lockheart]

I definitely get that vibe, and honestly, I feel like they're the type of people who went into this line of work because they thought it'd let them live out their comic book dreams, which could be a reason why Penny was so lenient on Merc. It would also make sense why Merc choose to go by that name, just because he probably thought it'd be cool.

Lance is a similar type of name. It's a partial word of 'Freelance'.

 

[KoGa3]

I'm really sorry you don't like the Additional Dialogue. I would hate to remove them though. I had so much fun coming up with more jokes for certain situations. And I really feel like they add a little replay-ability. I know they sort of halt the flow of the story in a way but getting you re-engaged by making you pick an option helps jostle you back awake.

Or maybe not. I don't know. People wanted choices. I feel like it was way more awesome to have choices that make you laugh instead of, you know, "Should I peep on my sister or shouldn't I?".

It was a creative decision and for better or for worse, I actually had a lot of fun doing it. And I think some people will find it fun rolling back to see what else Avalon or Byron could have said in some situations.

I'm glad that, on the whole, you enjoyed your time though.

(It took me a while to figure out how to respond. Sorry. )

Thanks, but I didn't enjoy the time with the game - I loved it!

As I might have said, I wouldn't have noticed the "Additional Dialogue" if I hadn't played the previous version without it - I just liked that better. It's just a question of taste.

By the way: If it's well done, I wouldn't mind a peek. Maybe you could turn it around and Dallas might watch Byron doing something ....

One more thing - but it's just a personal idea: I'd like to support you on Patreon, I'll usually do that with the smallest amount (1$), because I want to do that with as many defs with good games as possible. On the other hand - you also have "Bye me a coffee" - I will open my (small) wallet and just donate there from time to time.

 

[Lockheart]

(1$)

The dollar tier is tricky because there's a transaction fee, Patreon skims off 8%, then PayPal wants a cut. It starts to whittle down so much that by the time any gets to me, it's a fraction of what you wanted to give. A great review is also extremely valuable to me. I don't tell my stories to make money. I make money to tell my stories. Any way you can help me tell my stories more is a great donation! Thanks, Koga3!

 

[Lockheart]

This was a tough one for me. There's a lot of feelings behind this image.

 

[RustyV]

Great update. Penny is a complex girl.
Liked the zen psychiatrist.

 

[Kalenz123]

The compressed version is less than 1/5 of the original. Is something missing or is it just a reduction in quality/resolution?

 

[Lockheart]

The compressed version is less than 1/5 of the original. Is something missing or is it just a reduction in quality/resolution?

There will be a reduction in quality slightly. But I also didn't reduce the quality of Act 5 at all in my Official Compressed Version. So I recommend the uncompressed version for those that haven't played at all.

I render in 1080 so the pictures are pretty big, unfortunately.

 

[RustyV]

That's a common for size rendering it seems.

 

[Alfred the Fallen]

I was very impressed by the first chapter of the game. It seemed to be a well written adult novel about a very serious topic. But the second chapter undoes all of that build up by having the story go in the complete opposite direction. Here are a couple of quotes from the big heart to heart conversation at the end of the first chapter:

"I just don't understand why guys are always so horny! You know, sometimes, it's nice to just be with someone without sex getting in the way. And enjoy other things." -- Avalon

"People, in general, should have self control. When you take advantage of someone, you damage them." -- Byron

Does that sound like foreshadowing for Byron trying to have sex with Avalon? Because it seems like the complete opposite to me. I'd love this game if Byron was trying to help his niece and romance Octavia. But as it stands now, I don't think I could stomach playing it any further. Everything has been turned around so much that Sharol is now sounding like the voice of reason.

"Oh this is fuckin' rich. Are you fucking my daughter, you sick degenerate?" -- Sharol

While she jumped the gun a bit with that accusation, she's going to be dead on the money pretty soon. The whole idea that this teenage rape victim will be fixed as soon as her uncle can convince her to willingly put out for him is awful. I know that it's intended to be a romantic story, but it just doesn't work.

 

[Lockheart]

Everything has been turned around so much that Sharol is now sounding like the voice of reason.

I'm sorry you didn't find anything to love about Avalon. It's a very complex story and people have been very divided on it. But if you enjoyed Penny, and my sense of humor, I hope you'll give my next piece of work a try. It will be on a much lighter subject.

 

[RustyV]

I was very impressed by the first chapter of the game. It seemed to be a well written adult novel about a very serious topic. But the second chapter undoes all of that build up by having the story go in the complete opposite direction. Here are a couple of quotes from the big heart to heart conversation at the end of the first chapter:

"I just don't understand why guys are always so horny! You know, sometimes, it's nice to just be with someone without sex getting in the way. And enjoy other things." -- Avalon

"People, in general, should have self control. When you take advantage of someone, you damage them." -- Byron

Does that sound like foreshadowing for Byron trying to have sex with Avalon? Because it seems like the complete opposite to me. I'd love this game if Byron was trying to help his niece and romance Octavia. But as it stands now, I don't think I could stomach playing it any further. Everything has been turned around so much that Sharol is now sounding like the voice of reason.

"Oh this is fuckin' rich. Are you fucking my daughter, you sick degenerate?" -- Sharol

While she jumped the gun a bit with that accusation, she's going to be dead on the money pretty soon. The whole idea that this teenage rape victim will be fixed as soon as her uncle can convince her to willingly put out for him is awful. I know that it's intended to be a romantic story, but it just doesn't work.

You do realize this is an adult VN not an ABC after school special right?