VN Ren'Py Completed Avalon [v8.2] [Lockheart]

[Lockheart]

hey a post of mine was deleted, reason given just said OT. whassat mean? might be the first time I got deleted

I think it means Off Topic. Some of mine were deleted too. It happens when a Moderator finds the topic of discussion inappropriate for a particular thread.

And yes, I would love to see Penny and Byron do something naughty. It has to fit with the story though. So I'll see what I can do.

 

[Rock&Rule]

Make it a Byron dream sequence. You can always go full Mission Impossible style with Penny dropping in from the ceiling. Then just let him wake up at the end wondering if it was real. Or he could find a penny on or under his pillow. Full on paranoia if another woman is in his bed at the time.

 

[ontach]

The facial expressions can be so hard to get right but they are so worth it! Especially when Avalon contorts her face in complete and utter disapproval of Byron's stupid jokes. Ahaha. I love her.
Thank you so much for enjoying Avalon.

Yes, Avalon is adorable, and with most other devs I'd say nothing since she's good enough as she is, but since you're a perfectionist, you could look at some of her earlier expressions. She looks the most beautiful in the bathing pool scene with Octavia, and downright ugly when she has her terror episodes - I know you were trying (very successfully, mind you) to project her trauma through her expressions, but can't she be showing those expressions and still look cute? It somehow reminded me of Bilbo Baggins' expression when he asked for the ring back from Frodo, just to touch it again for old times sake.

 

[Lockheart]

can't she be showing those expressions and still look cute?

This was my attempt to redo those scenes. It's difficult to get it right because if she still looks cute, she doesn't look terrified. People who are truly scared do usually look quite unappealing.

I'll probably try again one day. Right now though, I haven't quite figured out the right balance yet.

 

[Lockheart]

Make it a Byron dream sequence. You can always go full Mission Impossible style with Penny dropping in from the ceiling. Then just let him wake up at the end wondering if it was real. Or he could find a penny on or under his pillow. Full on paranoia if another woman is in his bed at the time.

There's going to be a really cute scene with Byron and Penny in Act 6. And it may lead to something on a specific path. But it really depends on if I can get it to fit appropriately with the story.

I'll figure out something. It's been requested so much that I'm sure I can make it happen.

 

[MarleyMarley]

I've become a little obsessed with beards lately

I love a man with a beard and Byron is like the perfect dad material (both in a paternal and sexual meaning)-the beard, the compassion, the lame dad jokes, the amazing bod, and the megalodong.

He's perfect.

Just wish more developers made their male protags well... manly. Don't come near me with that boy-looking twinky arse protag because even if he sayin' he over 18, the FBI watching my devices say otherwie.

 

[Xill]

This is pretty wholesome, can't help but think something dark might happen right around the corner though.

 

[Lockheart]

This is pretty wholesome, can't help but think something dark might happen right around the corner though.

Act 6 is going to explore Byron's past and we're going to experience some of what he's been through. It won't be super pleasant. But in the end, we'll have a deeper connection with him and understand him a bit better.

Ultimately, I like happy endings. And I have a pretty good idea what my fans want. I won't disappoint, I promise.

 

[Rock&Rule]

It's a hard choice between the Scooby Doo or the happy ending. Just don't go for the Thelma and Louise that one never ends well.

Spoiler

You don't have permission to view the spoiler content. Log in or register now.

 

[Derfty]

It is the first time i play a game and leave with blue balls yet i come back to comment it positively .
I have sincerely played the game by the book , actually taking my time to read the dialogues instead of smashing the skip button and I have spend a few hours laughing and enjoying myself .
The game is witty and funny to a point you almost forget it is an adult game ... or at least it is supposed to be cause the lack of sexy content is like the elephant in the room. Still , I find it to be a nice narrative with good joyful laughs so I will be looking forward to more funny adventures of Avalon and Byron .
Keep up the good work !!! Stay strong , stay safe .

 

[Lockheart]

It is the first time i play a game and leave with blue balls yet i come back to comment it positively .

The next release is going to be really sexy! I promise! It'll be worth the wait!

I'm so glad you're enjoying Avalon. I worked really hard to make the characters lovable, the story engaging and the humor funny. And I hope to only improve moving forward! Thank you for reading!

 

[Sheppard3rd]

Great update needed to start over but it was not a disaster i liked it played both paths.
So i guess the father is still alive not really schocking i had my suspions after the last update.. But now we get a new character in to the mix? Leah your real sister?

Keep up the work and keep the humor in it its so good.

 

[Lockheart]

But now we get a new character in to the mix? Leah your real sister?

Yes, good catch! Leah is Byron's real sister. We'll examine that more closely in Act 6.

I'm so glad you enjoyed the update! The next update is going to be the Dates and the sexy stuff.

 

[MacDoobie]

Enjoyed the game very much, though not the type game I usually play. I was actually more impressed with the monogamous path with Dallas - for some reason I got very possessive over Avalon in the polygamous path. Felt like Dallas was stealing my thunder...and I usually dig NTR/Cuck/Hotwife games. I think that the pace of the former is good, in the latter path it seems rushed as far as Dallas is concerned - I actually didn't like her character development in the poly path but did like her in the mono path.

Good choice to deprecate Evans.

Now I have to go back and play the library path.

Only real negative I have has been expressed here and the dev acknowledges the issue, is the really weird pain/anger/trauma face renders, so no real complaint there.

At times the dialog gets in it's own way - IMHO too many jokes at times for the situation, even considering the MC's character. Would be a much more powerful story without them in the later stages of the game - the dev has done a great job setting his character up - but sometimes you can put too much mustard on a hot dog.

Look forward to the ending - and any future endeavors - I'll be checking them out for sure. Thumbs Up!

 

[Lockheart]

but sometimes you can put too much mustard on a hot dog

Ahaha. That's a good analogy. I've felt that a little too. Going back through the game myself, there's a lot of clean up I could do to smooth out some of the dialogue and polish some of the conversations. But when I started, the characters weren't developed yet so I was just shooting in the dark as they grew and developed and became their own people.

Someone mentioned 'Kill your darlings' the other day and before the final release of Avalon, I'm definitely going to do that. I'm going to go back and remove some things, add some things and polish some things.

Thank you so much for your positive feed back. It's criticism like this that is actually helpful and motivating. I really appreciate that. I've had too many negative people that just slam me and walk away.

I actually feel like you might like Octavia more. There are less jokes on that path and she has a more maternal feel to her. Let me know how you like that path!

Thanks again, MacDoobie!

 

[MRMIdAS2k]

Couple of random grammar moans, because that's all I do apparently.

"Right on queue" should be "Right on cue"

"Douchbag" should be "Douchebag"

and "Popsickle stand" should be "Popsicle stand"

 

[Lockheart]

because that's all I do apparently.

You say it like it's a negative but I really appreciate the catches! You've now helped make Avalon even better! Thank you!

I've had three people run through Avalon and look for bugs, grammar errors and misspellings but we're still finding more. It's incredible how terrible my writing is without the assistance of spell check. Ahaha.

I've made the adjustments. Thank you again, MRMldAS2k!

 

[theMickey_]

It's incredible how terrible my writing is without the assistance of spell check.

Literally unplayable!

 

[Blubberino]

Loved the game and can't wait for more. Came here to mention the one thing that I could see as an improvement, just to see it already mentioned. The amount of joking around in the Dallas path. Don't get me wrong, different from most other games, the jokes are actually funny and enjoyable, instead of cringeworthy. But on the Dallas path I agree with the other commenter, it's a bit too much sometimes imo.

But since you already mentioned that you might go back and remove/add stuff before the final version, I guess there is nothing but positive things remaining. Very interesting characters, good pacing and well written. Great work so far!

 

[Lockheart]

Hey F95!

I wanted to give a quick update on my progress. We're going to start working on the naughty bits here real soon!

Scenes

• Pre-Date at Home (All) - 100%
• Octavia Date (Octavia Poly)- 100%
• Dallas Date - (Dallas Poly)100%
• Avalon and Penny Date (All)- 20%
• Octavia and Byron Nightcap (Octavia Poly) - 0%
• Dallas and Byron Seduction (Dallas Poly) - 0%
• Octavia and Penny Reunited (Octavia Mono) - 0%
• Penny's Late Night Visit (Dallas Mono) - 0%
• Avalon and Byron Night 5 (Mono) - 0%
• Avalon and Byron Night 5 (Poly) - 0%
• Gladstone and Byron (All) - (This is probably going to be cancelled)
• Merc and Lance Recovering (All) - 100%