... is also the one that potentially treats her the worst (IE - as an object to satisfy the MC's desires). Molesting her while unconscious. Controlling who she is allowed to meet and speak to. Etc.
So,
If a man rubs a girl's pussy and she enjoys = He's a lover.
If the same man rubs the same girl's pussy later, and she fell asleep = He's an abuser.
If a man doesn't want a girl he cares about to meet and speak to dangerous people = He's an abuser.
I see things differently:
Caresses are a sign of love either the receiving person is awake or asleep.
If the caress maker has no intimacy to perform that kind of caress to the other person (awake) = He's being daring and should be prepared to receive a violent response.
If the caress maker has no intimacy to perform that kind of caress to the other person (asleep) = He's being daring and should be prepared to be viewed as an abuser if the receiving person doesn't like it.
One thing to remember is the fact that girls also have sexual desire, so:
The receiving person may be seducing the caress maker by sleeping in skimpy clothes in his presence.
The receiving person may be seducing the caress maker by wearing skimpy clothes in his presence and giving him an opportunity to intimate caress her.
Abuse only happens when the receiving part didn't like it or has already made it clear he/she isn't interested in intimacy with the caress maker and the caress maker insists in doing so. Outside of these premises, it is just a part of the human seduction game.