VN Ren'Py Because I Love Her [Ep.1 P1] [The Typist]

[BulletPete]

If there’s anything I disagree with, it’s this. Not to say I won’t be fixing this type of scripting, but I do personally believe that this kinda thing is absolutely true to life. When someone is trying so hard to let you know they like you, and yet you haven’t exactly been able to show that you like them too (which I haven’t really made that possible obviously, which is my own mistake. Though it all takes time and will be fixed) they will eventually see that putting in the effort may not be best for them in the end. Yes, she is doing something that makes you jealous. Intentionally? Not exactly, but it’s happening because the Mc should regret not speaking out. But you speak out, you don’t necessarily get to keep your current fiancé do you? This is how life works unfortunately, not in ever case do you get to have everyone and the whole worlds unaware it’s happening. Jason was treating jenni well compared to what she’s had so far with you, and can in reality, see this as an opportunity to possibly move on from something that isn’t working for her. Yes, scripting of it can very well be changed, but the general idea of this scenario is not unrealistic, as I for one have had it happen to me personally, or I wouldn’t argue with it not making sense. It’s part of our anatomy to move on when things aren’t working in your favor when it comes to chasing someone. Though again, I absolutely agree that the writing could be better, even foreshadowing the possibility of this, making decisions that may prevent her from doing that at the end of it. Thank you for your comment.

I 100% agree with you on the part of not being possible to have both, and neither would that make sense since you havent foreshadowed anything to do with cuckqueaning.


What I was criticizing is that her actions felt completely out of character. While yes, the MC should be surprised and taken aback, the reader should have some sort of clue that she is the kind of girl to do it, even if it is with the reasons you described. That being done with internal monologue, past actions, build up or a flashback is all up to you. I personally think it would have a bigger impact and wouldn't leave a sour taste, if for instance, after introducing jason, she watches MC and GF make out in the pool, realizes all her efforts are worthless and then on the next day moves on as you build up more and more the character of Jason. Having them do it in a timespam of 10 minutes just seems way too sudden. (And even in extraordinaire cases that involve alcohol, you would need to build up the fact that she is under the influence of it.)


Do remember that although the reader is playing the MC, he is not the MC. He is the reader. Same rules apply when the narrator is the MC. If something happens too suddenly and without build up, the reader will either lose track, lose interest or feel betrayed. You dont want non of those to happen to the reader, you want the MC to feel it and reader to feel bad for him. (Ironically, you actually described this pretty well on the dialogue with Jenni)


And dont take any of this in a bad way, take it as constrcutive criticism, because overall the game is great, but I think you will agree that it can be improved, and character development/building is in my opinion what needs some work.

 

[albul]

Welp, looks like even on the love route there is unavoidable NTR (from some people's perspective and mine). So if you like Jenni,even though shes enamored with the MC, it doesn't matter what you do, the story still goes to her getting with Jason, and even the story says the MC feels jealousy. That may be realistic, but it doesn't mean i like it. So is the choice basically between seeing you fiance gang banged (haven't played that route, but from what i am reading this is what happens), and seeing Jenni fingered by some dude? People should stop saying NTR is optional, because it's not.

When all the options are losing options, then the only way to win is not to play at all. I gave this game a try, but it looks like it isn't for me.

 

[tealeaves123]

There's an error in the first chapter. After the bathroom BJ scene. Anyway to fix that?

 

[Telgar]

If there’s anything I disagree with, it’s this. Not to say I won’t be fixing this type of scripting, but I do personally believe that this kinda thing is absolutely true to life. When someone is trying so hard to let you know they like you, and yet you haven’t exactly been able to show that you like them too (which I haven’t really made that possible obviously, which is my own mistake. Though it all takes time and will be fixed) they will eventually see that putting in the effort may not be best for them in the end. Yes, she is doing something that makes you jealous. Intentionally? Not exactly, but it’s happening because the Mc should regret not speaking out. But you speak out, you don’t necessarily get to keep your current fiancé do you? This is how life works unfortunately, not in ever case do you get to have everyone and the whole worlds unaware it’s happening. Jason was treating jenni well compared to what she’s had so far with you, and can in reality, see this as an opportunity to possibly move on from something that isn’t working for her. Yes, scripting of it can very well be changed, but the general idea of this scenario is not unrealistic, as I for one have had it happen to me personally, or I wouldn’t argue with it not making sense. It’s part of our anatomy to move on when things aren’t working in your favor when it comes to chasing someone. Though again, I absolutely agree that the writing could be better, even foreshadowing the possibility of this, making decisions that may prevent her from doing that at the end of it. Thank you for your comment.

Well I would have to agree that her interactions with Jason are out of character for several reasons, first she just met the guy. If she really is a virgin and that was her first kiss, would she let some dude she did not know from Adam go that far with her. I don't really see it no matter how charming he might be, it is just not something about her character that you have established to the player. Also she has just indicated that she was interested in the MC, and the player has made an effort to show interest in her, yet she still throws herself at a guy who literally just walked into the party, that is very unrealistic, for the love path. I could see it for the lust path as then the MC would have either spurned her advance or shown interest in multiple other women and not much interest in how she felt. But for the love path, the MC is making an effort to understand her feeling and return them.

It also has no buildup for this action, she pores her hear out to the MC the day before, takes a shower with him that morning and in every other regard returns his advances towards her. To have her just allow this guy she just met to go as far as he has just seems out of character, as the character has been presented to the player. A kiss yes, fondling her breasts maybe, exposing her breast in front of the man she just confessed to love, and allowing him to finger her, No.

As for the Fiance getting angry about the MC stepping in, well in this situation you have a complete stranger, taking advantage of the MC's BF from childhood who is clearly drunk or tipsy. In real life I would step in and kick the crap out of the guy. The MC has no idea who he is, the only person vouching for him is a woman the MC literally met yesterday and the MC's BF has not seen in years and neither one really knows anything about. He also just showed up without the MC's knowledge to the MC house and party. Then he started making moves on and sexually assaulting, she is drunk, one of the MC's best friends. If that happened in real life the guy would be lucky to get out of the party alive.

 

[freedom.call]

So I wanted rid of the fiancee and keep Jenni, seemed to push both away. Then I shot someone for basically no reason.

I struggled with the love/lust system. When I said Abigail was a nice name Jenni got up and BJ'd some dude.

 

[Dependable_223]

Just started with some other choices to avoid that error.

That halloween "party" is wired a fuck.
1. Why do the have a pool at a lake in the mountains ... and are in the big city?
2. There is no real party. They meet and then go to the pool - never had a helloween party where you change from costumes into swimsuits ...
3. the guest invites another guest without asking? ...

Point 3 was also lovepath when your going shopping with jenny at the end either the player can invite her friend or be forced to accept jenny inviting her without player concent and at the part that same friend even invited a new friend witch player has no control off. that was really weird. you would think that if there is party you get to be the one who invited who since this is your house.

 

[Dependable_223]

If there’s anything I disagree with, it’s this. Not to say I won’t be fixing this type of scripting, but I do personally believe that this kinda thing is absolutely true to life. When someone is trying so hard to let you know they like you, and yet you haven’t exactly been able to show that you like them too (which I haven’t really made that possible obviously, which is my own mistake. Though it all takes time and will be fixed) they will eventually see that putting in the effort may not be best for them in the end. Yes, she is doing something that makes you jealous. Intentionally? Not exactly, but it’s happening because the Mc should regret not speaking out. But you speak out, you don’t necessarily get to keep your current fiancé do you? This is how life works unfortunately, not in ever case do you get to have everyone and the whole worlds unaware it’s happening. Jason was treating jenni well compared to what she’s had so far with you, and can in reality, see this as an opportunity to possibly move on from something that isn’t working for her. Yes, scripting of it can very well be changed, but the general idea of this scenario is not unrealistic, as I for one have had it happen to me personally, or I wouldn’t argue with it not making sense. It’s part of our anatomy to move on when things aren’t working in your favor when it comes to chasing someone. Though again, I absolutely agree that the writing could be better, even foreshadowing the possibility of this, making decisions that may prevent her from doing that at the end of it. Thank you for your comment.

I agree with what you wrote here but why was there no incentive to why this guy was even invited without your concesnt ?? at the store when this friend suddenly shows up you can either tell her she invited or she get invited without player consent. whos house is it jenny or yours ??

Jenny turning like this would have made more sense when your sleeping with fiancee the night before and you leave the door open and she here you fucking her then the pool thing would have made more sense because you tried to lash back at the player for the day before you could even see the pain she in her face when you left the door open. so that part left a mark for her.

 

[TheTypist]

I agree with what you wrote here but why was there no incentive to why this guy was even invited without your concesnt ?? at the store when this friend suddenly shows up you can either tell her she invited or she get invited without player consent. whos house is it jenny or yours ??

Jenny turning like this would have made more sense when your sleeping with fiancee the night before and you leave the door open and she here you fucking her then the pool thing would have made more sense because you tried to lash back at the player for the day before you could even see the pain she in her face when you left the door open. so that part left a mark for her.

I think you make a really good point here too. Thank you for the input, it’s appreciated and it’ll help me to make more sense as for how these events unfold. Also, thanks for taking the time to play, and also comment. It’ll help me make a better experience overall, have a good one and I hope to see you back on here later

 

[TheTypist]

There's an error in the first chapter. After the bathroom BJ scene. Anyway to fix that?

It’ll be a quick fix I believe, sorry you encountered this, for now it won’t prevent you from seeing the rest of the available content, I’d recommend going back and choosing a different option to see the rest. Again, sorry about that.

 

[Methos23]

Wtf ntr still happend in love route im done with games with so called avoidable ntr its a lie

 

[minglee]

If there’s anything I disagree with, it’s this. Not to say I won’t be fixing this type of scripting, but I do personally believe that this kinda thing is absolutely true to life. When someone is trying so hard to let you know they like you, and yet you haven’t exactly been able to show that you like them too (which I haven’t really made that possible obviously, which is my own mistake. Though it all takes time and will be fixed) they will eventually see that putting in the effort may not be best for them in the end. Yes, she is doing something that makes you jealous. Intentionally? Not exactly, but it’s happening because the Mc should regret not speaking out. But you speak out, you don’t necessarily get to keep your current fiancé do you? This is how life works unfortunately, not in ever case do you get to have everyone and the whole worlds unaware it’s happening. Jason was treating jenni well compared to what she’s had so far with you, and can in reality, see this as an opportunity to possibly move on from something that isn’t working for her. Yes, scripting of it can very well be changed, but the general idea of this scenario is not unrealistic, as I for one have had it happen to me personally, or I wouldn’t argue with it not making sense. It’s part of our anatomy to move on when things aren’t working in your favor when it comes to chasing someone. Though again, I absolutely agree that the writing could be better, even foreshadowing the possibility of this, making decisions that may prevent her from doing that at the end of it. Thank you for your comment.

I agree. I find it hard to imagine a girl like Jenni getting friendzoned that hard without quickly turning to someone from the tens of thousands of guys living in her city who would easily fuck/date her, no matter how innocent or inexperienced she is. Though I may be wrong about this, I find women in general tend to have an even harder time than men in dealing with rejection - if not to spite the MC, then at least she'd probably do it just for a self-esteem boost.

Personally I have no problem with this part of the story, but I would advise you to make that scene avoidable. People are very sensitive about NTR and the reality is that most NTR games, even the ones with optional NTR, don't really get that much funding on patreon, regardless of the quality of their renders/writing/game mechanics/...


As for the NTR storyline, I do think it could use an overhaul, especially because the way the party goes down in that route is kinda silly, as others have pointed out. Personally I would like there to be an NTR path without blackmail, with a more gradual progression and maybe with different situations depending on your love/lust points or some other way to not be pigeonholed into a single NTR path. I also think you could come up with something more inspired than the old "domineering black guy with a huge dick coming to take yo bitch" trope.

Anyway, that's just my opinion. If that's what you really feel like writing then you should go ahead, I imagine it would be difficult to find motivation and inspiration if you're writing only to cater to an audience.

And kudos for taking the time to engage with us on this forum! Your renders are great and I'll be interested to see the way your game pans out

 

[over the edge]

Is nippy Claire? ......this guy is a dick,no one puts up with that ,amd would marry them.......I`d go after the young gal at home....Let Olivia and Nippy do their own thing.

 

[Eerie Entity]

I agree. I find it hard to imagine a girl like Jenni getting friendzoned that hard without quickly turning to someone from the tens of thousands of guys living in her city who would easily fuck/date her, no matter how innocent or inexperienced she is. Though I may be wrong about this, I find women in general tend to have an even harder time than men in dealing with rejection - if not to spite the MC, then at least she'd probably do it just for a self-esteem boost.

Personally I have no problem with this part of the story, but I would advise you to make that scene avoidable. People are very sensitive about NTR and the reality is that most NTR games, even the ones with optional NTR, don't really get that much funding on patreon, regardless of the quality of their renders/writing/game mechanics/...


As for the NTR storyline, I do think it could use an overhaul, especially because the way the party goes down in that route is kinda silly, as others have pointed out. Personally I would like there to be an NTR path without blackmail, with a more gradual progression and maybe with different situations depending on your love/lust points or some other way to not be pigeonholed into a single NTR path. I also think you could come up with something more inspired than the old "domineering black guy with a huge dick coming to take yo bitch" trope.

Anyway, that's just my opinion. If that's what you really feel like writing then you should go ahead, I imagine it would be difficult to find motivation and inspiration if you're writing only to cater to an audience.

And kudos for taking the time to engage with us on this forum! Your renders are great and I'll be interested to see the way your game pans out

I myself have been keeping an eye on this game since the initial release, and I played the first release. It's really the AVOIDABLE NTR, the promise of that that kept my interest to wanting to play this further. But reading comments after update pretty much made me go "Nope!". I'm not a Netorare advocate, in my play-through I want none of that, or at least it MUST be avoidable/optional. And now this update I hear about Jenni getting some sort of action with some random dude, despite the fact that Jenni poured her heart out and confessed her feelings she has for MC, and MC himself has feelings for her, yadi yada, even on Love path, soooo, doesn't sound like optional NTR to me, sounds like no matter what turn you make, somewhere you'll get slapped in the face with NTR, no matter how hard you avoid it, sounds forced to me, and I don't deal with forced nor surprise NTR.

I understand, the game for the most part focuses on NTR, but if avoidable NTR is promised, then I for one expect that promise kept, forced and surprise Natorare is so angering, I rather know from the very start if something I don't like is going to be forced on me, so that I know to stay away.

EDIT: The reason why I kept my eyes on the game and checked the comments after each update was because I hope the NTR really is avoidable and that you won't be slapped in the face with it regardless the route you take, I like the models a lot, especially Jenni, but the fiancee too, guess I just keep hoping that for a person that doesn't like NTR can play this game too, but I'm kind of let down after each update, reading the comments.

 

[Dependable_223]

I myself have been keeping an on this game since the initial release, and I played the first release. It's really the AVOIDABLE NTR, the promise of that that kept my interest to wanting to play this further. But reading comments after update pretty much made me go "Nope!". I'm not a Netorare advocate, in my play-through I want none of that, or at least it MUST be avoidable/optional. And now this update I hear about Jenni getting some sort of action with some random dude, despite the fact that Jenni poured her heart out and confessed her feelings she has for MC, and MC himself has feelings for her, yadi yada, even on Love path, soooo, doesn't sound like optional NTR to me, sounds like no matter what turn you make, somewhere you'll get slapped in the face with NTR, no matter how hard you avoid it, sounds forced to me, and I don't deal with forced nor surprise NTR.

I understand, the game for the most part focuses on NTR, but if avoidable NTR is promised, then I for one expect that promise kept, forced and surprise Natorare is so angering, I rather know from the very start if something I don't like is going to be forced on me, so that I know to stay away.

This is not harem game. so eventually you will still need to chose who your will be with either the fiancee or jenny or whoever the creator makes next. so it is not ntr.

 

[Eerie Entity]

This is not harem game. so eventually you will still need to chose who your will be with either the fiancee or jenny or whoever the creator makes next. so it is not ntr.

Never said I expect it to be a harem game, I'd be surprised if it was. But just to be clear, if a love interest is hooking up with another guy (even if the MC and the target girl isn't dating yet), it is considered NTR, it's NTR even in Japanese anime, and I think the Japanese knows what their own words means.

 

[Dependable_223]

Well if you put it like that this is tough one. kind of remind of acting leason when you need to decide who lives or dies. I think it is best to see how next chapter fairs. maybe it will make more sense we just got be patient.

I really like this game it gives option to be true to fiancee witch to me is the only boone. even with all the sexual distraction arround you.

 

[Kthulian]

Fan Sig:
View attachment 237182
link:

https://attachments.f95zone.com/2019/02/250695_bilh-fan.gif

Wallpaper:
View attachment 237181

Holy shit, just got to say it, you have some amazing photoshop skills.

 

[TheKryptonian]

I myself have been keeping an on this game since the initial release, and I played the first release. It's really the AVOIDABLE NTR, the promise of that that kept my interest to wanting to play this further. But reading comments after update pretty much made me go "Nope!". I'm not a Netorare advocate, in my play-through I want none of that, or at least it MUST be avoidable/optional. And now this update I hear about Jenni getting some sort of action with some random dude, despite the fact that Jenni poured her heart out and confessed her feelings she has for MC, and MC himself has feelings for her, yadi yada, even on Love path, soooo, doesn't sound like optional NTR to me, sounds like no matter what turn you make, somewhere you'll get slapped in the face with NTR, no matter how hard you avoid it, sounds forced to me, and I don't deal with forced nor surprise NTR.

I understand, the game for the most part focuses on NTR, but if avoidable NTR is promised, then I for one expect that promise kept, forced and surprise Natorare is so angering, I rather know from the very start if something I don't like is going to be forced on me, so that I know to stay away.

EDIT: The reason why I kept my eyes on the game and checked the comments after each update was because I hope the NTR really is avoidable and that you won't be slapped in the face with it regardless the route you take, I like the models a lot, especially Jenni, but the fiancee too, guess I just keep hoping that for a person that doesn't like NTR can play this game too, but I'm kind of let down after each update, reading the comments.

I was watching this game for the same reasons and im glad I looked at the comments before downloading.

Why would the dev say NTR on love path would be avoidable if its not? Seems a really fast way to piss off a bunch of people who might have liked the game otherwise. Just a silly business practice.

 

[Eerie Entity]

I was watching this game for the same reasons and im glad I looked at the comments before downloading.

Why would the dev say NTR on love path would be avoidable if its not? Seems a really fast way to piss off a bunch of people who might have liked the game otherwise. Just a silly business practice.

Well, the game is the dev's to do what he wants of course, and I don't mind different content being in whatever game I play, as long as they are avoidable, especially if it's promised to be avoidable.

 

[Dependable_223]

Too those that played other part i was wondering the swinging part is that also stuck with ntr or can you play the swinger path too without the ntr happening for a more open relationship ??