- Dec 3, 2019
- 740
- 2,488
The dialogue is soooo cringe. Plus this seems to be getting too cuckish for my taste I'm out.
- Dec 3, 2019
- 740
- 2,488
The renders are cool but that only doesn't make it a good game.
- Oct 10, 2017
- 54
- 49
- Mar 6, 2019
- 324
- 345
Can someone upload to incest patch under the his message please?
I don't have a Mega account and it makes me waiting around 3 hours..
I don't have a Mega account and it makes me waiting around 3 hours..
- May 10, 2017
- 1,251
- 6,118
- May 9, 2018
- 1,824
- 7,650
My issues so far..
The MC: Unless he has the Fabry disease which causes you to look like a child even though you're an adult, I don't like it. It's the same thing with that Venture game or Secret Reloaded. But back to the MC, he's an annoying douche bag who loves saying words like "Faggy" to come off like he's cool or funny. He also spends way too much damn time with his Asian friend who's also rather annoying.
Victoria looks closer to the mom's age, which is laughable. Minus the wrinkles you could make the argument that they look like sisters, that's bad considering the brother who she's close to age with looks like a fully grown toddler.
The Mom thing is a turn off, I don't know if the MC is randomly dreaming and he's actually the one that's ordering his Mom to strip or it's the Richard Song guy. If it is indeed the Song guy then this game gets a major Hard Pass from me.
To finish this off I know the Dev is going through things... but so are a lot of folks. You want support? Put more effort in your work, also once a year updates won't bring in the money.
The MC: Unless he has the Fabry disease which causes you to look like a child even though you're an adult, I don't like it. It's the same thing with that Venture game or Secret Reloaded. But back to the MC, he's an annoying douche bag who loves saying words like "Faggy" to come off like he's cool or funny. He also spends way too much damn time with his Asian friend who's also rather annoying.
Victoria looks closer to the mom's age, which is laughable. Minus the wrinkles you could make the argument that they look like sisters, that's bad considering the brother who she's close to age with looks like a fully grown toddler.
The Mom thing is a turn off, I don't know if the MC is randomly dreaming and he's actually the one that's ordering his Mom to strip or it's the Richard Song guy. If it is indeed the Song guy then this game gets a major Hard Pass from me.
To finish this off I know the Dev is going through things... but so are a lot of folks. You want support? Put more effort in your work, also once a year updates won't bring in the money.
- May 26, 2017
- 175
- 132
LStudio I love it already...really good renders, apart from the long ass reading as everyone is saying, it is to be expected in a VN game gotta build up the story properly before jumping into the real thing ,I think the pacing might be a little slow but i'm okay with it as long as the story plot makes sense and some really good scene to keep the audience interested you know what I mean. Keep it going man I really hope this one proves successful in your journey. Best of luck 
.
Also I really love Victoria..man she is a real eye candy for me . Can't wait for more scenes with her in the future.
.Also I really love Victoria
..man she is a real eye candy for me . Can't wait for more scenes with her in the future.
Last edited:
- May 7, 2017
- 285
- 189
So, it's been a while, and hoo boy I can't tell whether it shows or not.
A relatively low amount of content even counting the renders (or maybe a low amount of renders even counting the content?). Work smarter not harder, maybe is in play there, but having the characters ramble to fill 'time' (which forces re-use of the same cycle of images and just makes it obvious) kicks that in the teeth. Having them wax philosophical in every situation makes it worse; the tub maybe makes sense, and while cloud-watching, again, maybe, but in the middle of a store, or car, or on a bench at random? Huh?
As for said content; Victoria going on about her writing obsession and not doing anything else despite writer's block, is that supposed to be what's going on with the dev? Because while that would be unfortunate, she is absolutely going about it wrong, which I guess is the one thing Greg gets to be right about. Selena, meanwhile, is a whole bitch, which would be 'nuff said, except at the end she seemed like, what, supposed to have done what she did because she's insecure as shit and wanted to end it on her terms? For someone that repeatedly stated how this girl that immediately got her wet was "like an angel and a devil at the same time," fuckin'... I dunno, was that supposed to be some representation of how one night stands are seen? Ignore someone's name because "that's hot" and calling them a dickhead when leaving? When you invited them back to the same place you met, that you almost meet them at the next day? The fuck? And pushing drugs on your like one friend so you don't feel like you're the crazy one when you're absolutely a flaming hot mess to begin with?
Greg, meanwhile... uh, got impatient like he wasn't getting his dick wet on the side anyway, or like she somehow wouldn't remember that event so he could spout off whatever that tirade was, so... yay? And the bouncer, it seems, would have slammed his ass regardless of player choice, and given his own weird situation, seems a pretty level dude.
Side-note, what's with having stuff topical? That just dates those conversations.
Would use this moment to ask why we're not playing the bouncer, if future of the game wasn't at the point where it is. Leaving Sam and MC analysis aside (since the vast majority seem to have already covered it)...
Why, exactly, is this a solo project? An editor alone would be able to help with half the issues (between typos, pacing, gratuitous use of ALL CAPS...), and outsourcing it for someone else that did have the time, resources and stability (or even one of those, really) would have been, I feel as a know-nothing nobody, the road to take with this. I mean, damn, even dev teams take breaks to get their shit in order, trying to do this solo while your personal life's coming down around your ears is idiocy, especially if your situation isn't embellished.
A relatively low amount of content even counting the renders (or maybe a low amount of renders even counting the content?). Work smarter not harder, maybe is in play there, but having the characters ramble to fill 'time' (which forces re-use of the same cycle of images and just makes it obvious) kicks that in the teeth. Having them wax philosophical in every situation makes it worse; the tub maybe makes sense, and while cloud-watching, again, maybe, but in the middle of a store, or car, or on a bench at random? Huh?
As for said content; Victoria going on about her writing obsession and not doing anything else despite writer's block, is that supposed to be what's going on with the dev? Because while that would be unfortunate, she is absolutely going about it wrong, which I guess is the one thing Greg gets to be right about. Selena, meanwhile, is a whole bitch, which would be 'nuff said, except at the end she seemed like, what, supposed to have done what she did because she's insecure as shit and wanted to end it on her terms? For someone that repeatedly stated how this girl that immediately got her wet was "like an angel and a devil at the same time," fuckin'... I dunno, was that supposed to be some representation of how one night stands are seen? Ignore someone's name because "that's hot" and calling them a dickhead when leaving? When you invited them back to the same place you met, that you almost meet them at the next day? The fuck? And pushing drugs on your like one friend so you don't feel like you're the crazy one when you're absolutely a flaming hot mess to begin with?
Greg, meanwhile... uh, got impatient like he wasn't getting his dick wet on the side anyway, or like she somehow wouldn't remember that event so he could spout off whatever that tirade was, so... yay? And the bouncer, it seems, would have slammed his ass regardless of player choice, and given his own weird situation, seems a pretty level dude.
Side-note, what's with having stuff topical? That just dates those conversations.
Would use this moment to ask why we're not playing the bouncer, if future of the game wasn't at the point where it is. Leaving Sam and MC analysis aside (since the vast majority seem to have already covered it)...
Why, exactly, is this a solo project? An editor alone would be able to help with half the issues (between typos, pacing, gratuitous use of ALL CAPS...), and outsourcing it for someone else that did have the time, resources and stability (or even one of those, really) would have been, I feel as a know-nothing nobody, the road to take with this. I mean, damn, even dev teams take breaks to get their shit in order, trying to do this solo while your personal life's coming down around your ears is idiocy, especially if your situation isn't embellished.
I mean, it isn't so long as it's at most implied rather than confirmed, furthermore in a dream sequence (mostly certain that was supposed to be a "potential future" from his own POV that MC was thinking about due to Sam's mess), but I guess I see where you're coming from?
Uhh, the part after shadow-hand "'splains" Heather's situation to her seems to indicate otherwise.
Last edited:
- Oct 17, 2019
- 1,079
- 2,595
It's easy to get a Mega account and as long as you are just downloading games it's basically free.
So decided to give this game a try because it looked cool.
Few things. The endless click past talking, please allow for skipping of that ( or it might be something I don't know how to set in options )
Second, who in their right mind would just let any constuction guys show up, especially the ( Mom? ) character after all the trouble she's been having at work, or any real life person with out calling that other character to check if it was for real from her. No offense but that shoulda be included, my first thought, yeah this Song character is a jerk and installing cameras in her house ( no clue but kinda quit playing soon after cause of all the clicking )
Graphics are cool, story line started out cool, kid gets blamed for spying, thought the story would evolve that route leading to interesting situations and possible action, but it just kept going on and on and on and ... dam carpal tunnel syndrome kicked in.
MC's friend is just a dumbass and honestly the side shot with him was just I dunno, if it went along the story of the MC getting blamed for spying like I said woulda been funny for him to call the MC on to spy on the chick across the way and then get caught ( her winking cause he was cute or whatever ) leading to more.
Rating Scale for me is, Graphics 4 / 5 .... Story 2-3 / 5 .... Interest Level 2 / 5 ( meaning i lost interest after the 20 minutes of clicking with no substantial story line ) Overall 2.5 / 5 .
Continue the work, has promise just needs some polishing.
Few things. The endless click past talking, please allow for skipping of that ( or it might be something I don't know how to set in options )
Second, who in their right mind would just let any constuction guys show up, especially the ( Mom? ) character after all the trouble she's been having at work, or any real life person with out calling that other character to check if it was for real from her. No offense but that shoulda be included, my first thought, yeah this Song character is a jerk and installing cameras in her house ( no clue but kinda quit playing soon after cause of all the clicking )
Graphics are cool, story line started out cool, kid gets blamed for spying, thought the story would evolve that route leading to interesting situations and possible action, but it just kept going on and on and on and ... dam carpal tunnel syndrome kicked in.
MC's friend is just a dumbass and honestly the side shot with him was just I dunno, if it went along the story of the MC getting blamed for spying like I said woulda been funny for him to call the MC on to spy on the chick across the way and then get caught ( her winking cause he was cute or whatever ) leading to more.
Rating Scale for me is, Graphics 4 / 5 .... Story 2-3 / 5 .... Interest Level 2 / 5 ( meaning i lost interest after the 20 minutes of clicking with no substantial story line ) Overall 2.5 / 5 .
Continue the work, has promise just needs some polishing.
- Jan 13, 2020
- 149
- 444
First things first, I see some real promise for this game. You can see my review if you'd like my thoughts on that.
That being said, here are a few ideas that the game developer might like to think about...
1. The aged look of the MC in episode two is much better than episode one, and I know the game calls itself out on it and gives a wink to the player. Here's the problem with that, for that reason alone many people won't make it past episode one to see the improvement and the fourth wall breaking wink. Your best bet is to take the time to retroactively go back and use the aged model to recreate the scenes from episode one. I literally was thinking about quitting the game and deleting it, but figured I could deal with it since the story was still rather short at this point.
2. During conversations between two people you tend to just jump back and forth between shots of them. This gets a little jarring and doesn't look cinematic at all. Makes it feel more like jump cuts in a bad fight scene of an action movie. Think about the cinematography of it. We already know who is saying what by the dialog box, get a shot of them from the side with both characters in frame, or behind one character looking at the other. I get the reason why it is the way that it is, but it is rather off putting.
3. I like all the nods and jabs at VN tropes. I have played enough of them to get the jokes. Making them is fine, but it feels like they are all crammed into a short section. It's just one after another after another. Even a long dialog scene about many content creators getting all excited to start their project only to abandon it after the first few updates because people don't like their first attempt at it. I would recommend keeping the nods and jabs in, mainly because of what this story is trying to be, but you know sprinkle them out more. Maybe like one per episode, that way you know you have a laugh for people to have each time.
4. Look I get that you want patreons, at the time of writing this you only have 16, but with how much your patreon is ham fisted into the story and images. It honestly gets annoying. Hell there is even a link button on the control bar. So every time I go click to make a save I have to see you trying to get it. The biggest button on the main menu is a link to your patreon. There seems to be an image to it somewhere in almost every scene. Are you trying subliminal messaging? Cause when you notice every time it's no longer subliminal. If you make it, they will come. People support the games that they like.
5. This one goes out to all would be creators as well as this one. It is my recommendation that before you ever start putting images together or putting up updates on patreon, subscribestar, or f95, have your story written in it's entirety first. From beginning to end with all the possible choices in the middle. I get it, it's a novel, it takes time to write and you want to fund your project as soon as possible. However, if you have to write an episode, chapter, update, what ever you want to call it, and then create images for that, and then put it all together to upload as an update your game is going to take forever to finish. Each piece is going to feel like so much work. This isn't saying that the story can't change here and there as you go along, but it will make the update process so much easier when you only have to work on the image half of it and you can crank out updates faster which make people who donate to you all that much happier feeling like they are getting their money's worth out of supporting you. Personally I would say it's best to be at least three episodes a head of what is out, episode three is out so you are now working on seven, because four, five, and six are done. This way if something happens you bought yourself time to not work, but still give your audience more product during your work absence.
6. I have seen many complaints about the long and sometimes cringy dialog. Trust me I get where they are coming from. Mostly it is the inner monologues and the back and forth banter between characters, mostly Sam and MC. When it comes to the inner monologues they could definitely be trimmed down. No one really does that with themselves that much. Ex. The Vicky bathtub scene, and Sam waking up scene. Some of the back and forth banter could be cut down as well. Now in an audio/visual media it might be fine and work and sound natural, but that's only because we speak faster than we read. Here reading all of it just feels tedious. If you notice in actual books the characters don't talk like that to each other as much. Sure there will be banter, but not to this extent. It really becomes a problem with one of the issues stated above when the camera just jumps back and forth between the characters. An example is the rooftop scene where Sel is trying to tell her story about Mel and Vicky keeps interrupting her. We the player are interested in Selena's story, but it keeps cutting off which then starts to make us disinterested because we just want the scene to be over already, we want to know the end of the tale, but Vicky won't shut up so screw it.
This isn't a bad game or story in my opinion. Like I said in the beginning this game has promise. These are simply a few suggestions moving forward. And maybe a few retroactive alterations I believe should be made with your best interests at heart. Because I want to see this game succeed, I want to see you as the developer succeed. However as it stands now I wouldn't recommend becoming a patreon to anyone because as of yet the game has little value, but it can go places, I know it can.
That being said, here are a few ideas that the game developer might like to think about...
1. The aged look of the MC in episode two is much better than episode one, and I know the game calls itself out on it and gives a wink to the player. Here's the problem with that, for that reason alone many people won't make it past episode one to see the improvement and the fourth wall breaking wink. Your best bet is to take the time to retroactively go back and use the aged model to recreate the scenes from episode one. I literally was thinking about quitting the game and deleting it, but figured I could deal with it since the story was still rather short at this point.
2. During conversations between two people you tend to just jump back and forth between shots of them. This gets a little jarring and doesn't look cinematic at all. Makes it feel more like jump cuts in a bad fight scene of an action movie. Think about the cinematography of it. We already know who is saying what by the dialog box, get a shot of them from the side with both characters in frame, or behind one character looking at the other. I get the reason why it is the way that it is, but it is rather off putting.
3. I like all the nods and jabs at VN tropes. I have played enough of them to get the jokes. Making them is fine, but it feels like they are all crammed into a short section. It's just one after another after another. Even a long dialog scene about many content creators getting all excited to start their project only to abandon it after the first few updates because people don't like their first attempt at it. I would recommend keeping the nods and jabs in, mainly because of what this story is trying to be, but you know sprinkle them out more. Maybe like one per episode, that way you know you have a laugh for people to have each time.
4. Look I get that you want patreons, at the time of writing this you only have 16, but with how much your patreon is ham fisted into the story and images. It honestly gets annoying. Hell there is even a link button on the control bar. So every time I go click to make a save I have to see you trying to get it. The biggest button on the main menu is a link to your patreon. There seems to be an image to it somewhere in almost every scene. Are you trying subliminal messaging? Cause when you notice every time it's no longer subliminal. If you make it, they will come. People support the games that they like.
5. This one goes out to all would be creators as well as this one. It is my recommendation that before you ever start putting images together or putting up updates on patreon, subscribestar, or f95, have your story written in it's entirety first. From beginning to end with all the possible choices in the middle. I get it, it's a novel, it takes time to write and you want to fund your project as soon as possible. However, if you have to write an episode, chapter, update, what ever you want to call it, and then create images for that, and then put it all together to upload as an update your game is going to take forever to finish. Each piece is going to feel like so much work. This isn't saying that the story can't change here and there as you go along, but it will make the update process so much easier when you only have to work on the image half of it and you can crank out updates faster which make people who donate to you all that much happier feeling like they are getting their money's worth out of supporting you. Personally I would say it's best to be at least three episodes a head of what is out, episode three is out so you are now working on seven, because four, five, and six are done. This way if something happens you bought yourself time to not work, but still give your audience more product during your work absence.
6. I have seen many complaints about the long and sometimes cringy dialog. Trust me I get where they are coming from. Mostly it is the inner monologues and the back and forth banter between characters, mostly Sam and MC. When it comes to the inner monologues they could definitely be trimmed down. No one really does that with themselves that much. Ex. The Vicky bathtub scene, and Sam waking up scene. Some of the back and forth banter could be cut down as well. Now in an audio/visual media it might be fine and work and sound natural, but that's only because we speak faster than we read. Here reading all of it just feels tedious. If you notice in actual books the characters don't talk like that to each other as much. Sure there will be banter, but not to this extent. It really becomes a problem with one of the issues stated above when the camera just jumps back and forth between the characters. An example is the rooftop scene where Sel is trying to tell her story about Mel and Vicky keeps interrupting her. We the player are interested in Selena's story, but it keeps cutting off which then starts to make us disinterested because we just want the scene to be over already, we want to know the end of the tale, but Vicky won't shut up so screw it.
This isn't a bad game or story in my opinion. Like I said in the beginning this game has promise. These are simply a few suggestions moving forward. And maybe a few retroactive alterations I believe should be made with your best interests at heart. Because I want to see this game succeed, I want to see you as the developer succeed. However as it stands now I wouldn't recommend becoming a patreon to anyone because as of yet the game has little value, but it can go places, I know it can.
- Feb 25, 2018
- 3,819
- 67,449
Crazygamer43 the update isn't showing on Latest updates
Also, is it just me, or is there a lot of coercion going around in this game?
Also, is it just me, or is there a lot of coercion going around in this game?
- Feb 25, 2018
- 3,819
- 67,449
- Nov 28, 2018
- 1,382
- 756
some devs are just .... they ask basicaly in every posting, sentense for support via money on paetron ..and than what ? they deliver crapp like :
NEW FEATURE: MODE [Cinema, Original, Comic] <-----this !!!!!!!!!!
unnessesary bullshoit, no continuation on the story, nothing .... they come across with crapp renders...imean .. there are games out here with renders, where your jaw is crashing on the table...and they still ask for money...
why cant u devs ( i mean all devs in generall ) deliver GOOD stuff, and ask than for support and money, instead of delivering shit and asking .....
NEW FEATURE: MODE [Cinema, Original, Comic] <-----this !!!!!!!!!!
unnessesary bullshoit, no continuation on the story, nothing .... they come across with crapp renders...imean .. there are games out here with renders, where your jaw is crashing on the table...and they still ask for money...
why cant u devs ( i mean all devs in generall ) deliver GOOD stuff, and ask than for support and money, instead of delivering shit and asking .....
- Apr 3, 2017
- 2,441
- 10,512
Compressed S01E03 TEST (PC) 202Mb
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- Dec 13, 2018
- 496
- 545
Full agree.
New, modern milking technique. Re script, new menu, something something.
"The Secret Reloaded" they did same thing in this game. And have to play from start again. One conversation wrong choosed
You miss entire scene in next update.