Jade has put up with a shitty marriage to a cheater for the sake of her kids. She’s never going to blow this whole thing up over the MC and if she does it’s some bullshit writing.
I see some petty remarks, maybe threats that he better treat her right and question if it’s all for real but she isn’t gonna blackmail him or something like people are suggesting.
If she is willing to put up with Burke cheating and so on for the sake of her kids she isn’t gonna blow it up, expose herself as a cheater (with a student no less) and humiliate her daughter just because a random guy she fucked 2-3 times ended things.
you wrote better what I had hastily written.
the driving force of DPC's events is usually the sense of guilt (we had a small appetizer at the end of the interlude, where we already see an MC reflecting on his mistakes) rather than guilt itself.
sooner or later the eventual love triangle with mother and daughter will come to light and MC after having to absorb Jade's accusations via text message will have to face Sage's anger (hopefully there won't be many other choices/game over in the story...)
absurdly, Jade is more dangerous to MC in regards to any other LIs than Sage. how would she react if she ever found out she was dumped for Bella? the same woman her husband has a fixation on....
I see "more realistic" Jade trying to thwart MC in his relationship with Maya, or Josy or maybe even Jill, than for her daughter
It might be so that my expectations have already risen too high, because the game is approaching the legendary status, but imho somehow interlude felt too long, and, I hate to say this out, kind of uninteresting.
In the end Zoey changes her mind pretty suddenly so maybe a hint now and then that her mind is about to change would make the story smoothier. Maybe a little bit of compressing too for the interlude story.
Anyways, keep up the good work.
maybe it would have been enough to better articulate the passing of time, the interlude of his could not be more extended, but it does not give a precise idea of the time that passes, it could have happened in a week as well as in a year (about my confusion about the time ...)
instead the narration, especially regarding the sentimental evolution, proceeds in jumps, she hopes that MC will reach her, then suddenly she decides that it is better to let him go and then suddenly she wants to be let go from this life that she imagined different (but what exactly did Zoey expect? to become world champion of surfing in one season?)
and this rapidity in the story makes Zoey look like a vicious child who constantly runs away from problems without ever knowing what she really wants, if we want also believable, but certainly not a particularly well-deserving portrait
