VN Ren'Py Being a DIK [v0.10.1] [DrPinkCake]

[sixart]

I wonder where these critics are getting their reference for what good AVN writing is.

Just look at who gave you an answer before me...
I see enlightenment coming your way .....

 

[PashafromRussia]

What some people seem to keep forgetting is that the time passed within the story is currently quite short; and most of the characters haven’t known about Maya’s problems for very long.

The mc's only known Maya for about 2 months, since they've only just sat their midterms, and he's only known about her dad's black mail for about half that time.

Since he's known, the mc has also been dealing with heaps of other shit, and hardly spent much time considering Maya's predicament (a huge amount of his time has been dealing with his own issues, like repairing the mansion and fucking as many girls as he can ).

Derek has known the longest, but he's not exactly reliable; he's definitely not someone we'd expect to be dispersing sound financial advice.

I'm not sure how long Josy's known about the blackmail for, but she's even complained that Maya isn't trying to solve her own problems. They've been fighting and bitching with each other half the time.

So even though we, the readers, have had ages to discuss the issue, the characters in the story have not.

To make matters worse, Maya had dreamed up her hairbrained scheme of joining the HOTs and having them pay for her tuition, so she put all her eggs into that basket, only to have it fall through. By then she'd pretty much wasted the first month of college without even considering other avenues for solving her situation.

Then after sulking and wasting more time, Maya is now relying on Sage trying to help her.

I wouldn't call this bad writing, I'd say it is Maya's fault for being dumb (she was deliberately written that way). She's been called out for it by Josy:

Spoiler: Josy's not impressed

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And the mc's had a go at her for constantly dramatizing it all:

Spoiler: Stop whining Maya

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If anything, DPC has managed to characterise most of the prominent characters quite well. They have a few inconsistencies (proving they're not just computer programs... well actually... they are ), but on a whole each character is defined well enough that we come to expect certain behaviour from them.

So it's not shitty writing that in the stretch of roughly a couple of months, a handful of characters, who have been dealing with numerous distractions, haven't come to the rescue and solved all of Maya's problems yet.

Personally I find it quit perplexing that anyone can work their way through this game, pay full attention to everything it has to offer, and turn around and suggest the game has shitty writing.

Of course the game isn't perfect, but the detail, foreshadowing, dialogue, and direction are so far above most of the competitors here, I wonder where these critics are getting their reference for what good AVN writing is.

I absolutely agree with you, my friend.
I feel alive the character when his flaws and vices are revealed, and not when exclusively positive qualities are shown. Most of the games on this site suffer from this. In them, the girls look like dolls created by the lustful and immature mind of the developer, and not like people who can make mistakes.
Yes, Maya is fool and egoist, but she is a living person. She is not a perfect girl, like all the people around her.
Sage is hot-tempered and jealous.
Jill is just a bitch and a jealous bitch.
Josie - she doesn't seem to have any bad qualities
Bella is cold and distant.
The more negative qualities a hero has, the more alive and realistic he seems.
Apparently this is the reason for Quinn's popularity. She is contradictory, but she looks like a person you can meet in real life.

 

[TimHawk]

Look, you can keep defending DPC, but the crux of the matter is that 4 people (MC Maya Josy Sage), some of who (Sage) is proclaimed to be smart by someone who looks smart (Bella), have spent considerable amount of time trying to solve a problem, and no one even suggested that Maya go talk to the school financial office to understand her situation, before going to Sage's parents and asking them to cough up tens of thousands of dollars.

They don't need to solve the problem for her in that time frame. But if no one suggests during the entire month (per your timeframe above) that she should do the painfully obvious thing that can help, that's shitty writing.

I dont even now how you managed, but the entire Sage storyline of Ep08 is about her JUST finding out, how the fuck does that translate to a "considerable amount of time" ?

Maya says to the MC that she has not had any experience with financial matters her entire life and the MC says he doesnt know either. They're 18 year old kids.

And I have no idea how the "school financial office" is gonna help her ? What is there to understand, Maya told the MC that her problem is at the bank level, not the school level, so what are they gonna do ? I don't even see any world where they would care, they're getting paid, they wont give a frigg about Maya's family problems.

And Maya didnt come up with the plan to go to Sage's parents, she even refused to tell Sage about her problems to begin with. It's Sage, after beeing persistent, to finally learn about Maya's problem and then SAGE decides that thats what she wants to pursue.

Look, you can keep criticizing DPC's writing, but you should have at least a rough idea what he actually wrote before you do so and then come up with sound solutions not stuff that would actually make the writing worse.

 

[vogelbeest]

On a side note, if she is this naive and so easily manipulated then she doesn't really have any place in a social field. Especially if she would be giving advice to people that need help.

That's a real narrow view on what the social field actually is. There's social work involving care for people from birth till death.
There's a rather large spectrum of services offered by social workers, often just very basic like communal centers or daycare but also more specialised like debt management or therapy. The people getting help from social workers can be any age, can be disabled or not, (chronically) sick or healthy, can be from any social background and educational level.

If you're easily manipulated it might not be a good plan to work with addicts, but naive or not really doesn't matter, you'll be streetwise in really zero time, there's no cure for stupid, but naive just gets washed away with experience.
If you lack skills to work with a certain group or activity find another that does match your skillset. Personally i can tell you it's more about the organisation you're working for, any good organisation places it's employees at the right spots and will support them to perform to the best of their abilities. The most important thing though is you can't learn social work from books alone.

 

[Arigon]

shazba TimHawk and others defending DPC's "writing".

DPC's writing is not good. I am giving you that straight up. He gives it to you straight up that his writing is his weak point in interviews with him. He can not follow logic/tell his tale to save his life. His story AL was terrible except for the wingman, and his story here is laughable except for the wingman. His MC's are particularly unlikable, and yes, his writing of Maya and her situation is completely stupid. This is supposed to be an American college. In all American colleges that are not rip off's like say tRump university, there are ways for students to get financial assistance if they are in need. Maya's "bank" problem is a money problem. The college financial folks can assist her in finding alternate means of funding her education with, or without her father.

DPC is a master at his renders, animations, and picking music that fits his art. He pretty well sucks at writing a coherent story.
Peace

 

[TimHawk]

shazba TimHawk and others defending DPC's "writing".

DPC's writing is not good. I am giving you that straight up. He gives it to you straight up that his writing is his weak point in interviews with him. He can not follow logic/tell his tale to save his life. His story AL was terrible except for the wingman, and his story here is laughable except for the wingman. His MC's are particularly unlikable, and yes, his writing of Maya and her situation is completely stupid. This is supposed to be an American college. In all American colleges that are not rip off's like say tRump university, there are ways for students to get financial assistance if they are in need. Maya's "bank" problem is a money problem. The college financial folks can assist her in finding alternate means of funding her education with, or without her father.

DPC is a master at his renders, animations, and picking music that fits his art. He pretty well sucks at writing a coherent story.
Peace

Never said his writing is good, I said that the person who I replied to before, got it wrong. And yes there is a financial aid office at every College, and not a single one of them will care, if a student already has a full ride student loan. To qualify for financial aid, certain conditions have to be met, and Maya doesnt tick a single box.

 

[Arigon]

Never said his writing is good, I said that the person who I replied to before, got it wrong. And yes there is a financial aid office at every College, and not a single one of them will care, if a student already has a full ride student loan. To qualify for financial aid, certain conditions have to be met, and Maya doesnt tick a single box.

She does if her daddy isn't paying.
She needs funding for college. Whether it is spending money or dorm/tuition money, the girl needs money. At a minimum the college will have resources to assist students in finding jobs. Whether those are workstudy type jobs does require financial aid evaluations being performed. If her father is being a douche, this won't qualify her for much of course, but they would still help her find a non hoe job.

 

[RedGlow]

What some people seem to keep forgetting is that the time passed within the story is currently quite short; and most of the characters haven’t known about Maya’s problems for very long.

The mc's only known Maya for about 2 months, since they've only just sat their midterms, and he's only known about her dad's black mail for about half that time.

Since he's known, the mc has also been dealing with heaps of other shit, and hardly spent much time considering Maya's predicament (a huge amount of his time has been dealing with his own issues, like repairing the mansion and fucking as many girls as he can ).

Derek has known the longest, but he's not exactly reliable; he's definitely not someone we'd expect to be dispersing sound financial advice.

I'm not sure how long Josy's known about the blackmail for, but she's even complained that Maya isn't trying to solve her own problems. They've been fighting and bitching with each other half the time.

So even though we, the readers, have had ages to discuss the issue, the characters in the story have not.

To make matters worse, Maya had dreamed up her hairbrained scheme of joining the HOTs and having them pay for her tuition, so she put all her eggs into that basket, only to have it fall through. By then she'd pretty much wasted the first month of college without even considering other avenues for solving her situation.

Then after sulking and wasting more time, Maya is now relying on Sage trying to help her.

I wouldn't call this bad writing, I'd say it is Maya's fault for being dumb (she was deliberately written that way). She's been called out for it by Josy:

Spoiler: Josy's not impressed

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And the mc's had a go at her for constantly dramatizing it all:

Spoiler: Stop whining Maya

You don't have permission to view the spoiler content. Log in or register now.

If anything, DPC has managed to characterise most of the prominent characters quite well. They have a few inconsistencies (proving they're not just computer programs... well actually... they are ), but on a whole each character is defined well enough that we come to expect certain behaviour from them.

So it's not shitty writing that in the stretch of roughly a couple of months, a handful of characters, who have been dealing with numerous distractions, haven't come to the rescue and solved all of Maya's problems yet.

Personally I find it quit perplexing that anyone can work their way through this game, pay full attention to everything it has to offer, and turn around and suggest the game has shitty writing.

Of course the game isn't perfect, but the detail, foreshadowing, dialogue, and direction are so far above most of the competitors here, I wonder where these critics are getting their reference for what good AVN writing is.

This is gonna come out of blue i know but i can't believe both Maya and Sage are taller than MC

 

[TimHawk]

She does if her daddy isn't paying.
She needs funding for college. Whether it is spending money or dorm/tuition money, the girl needs money. At a minimum the college will have resources to assist students in finding jobs. Whether those are workstudy type jobs does require financial aid evaluations being performed. If her father is being a douche, this won't qualify her for much of course, but they would still help her find a non hoe job.

But he IS paying, thats what everyone seems to confuse. You're a lawyer, Maya was 18 and signed co-ownership of her loan to her dad, now i critisized that many times, because thats not how it work. but from the College perspective, everything is dandy.

 

[fasdfaq123]

Honestly, this debate of whether DPC is a good or bad writer seems endless, so better to play the best game on this site "Sex with Hitler", I hear it helps fight stress.

 

[vogelbeest]

Well, lets be fair, would you rather play a game that's mostly about the legal correctness of contracts, financial aid options for the educational system, unavailable LI's because they're working 24/7 to support themselves, but has good writing by those standards although there's really nothing happening....

Or do you want to play BaDik or whatever other game that has an interesting story?
I dunno, sometimes you should really just accept some parts of the story are not exactly 100% real life proof, in BaDik this mostly happens for story reasons, so i don't see any problems....

 

[Arigon]

But he IS paying, thats what everyone seems to confuse. You're a lawyer, Maya was 18 and signed co-ownership of her loan to her dad, now i critisized that many times, because thats not how it work. but from the College perspective, everything is dandy.

Actually, I am not a lawyer, my room mate from college was, I am an engineer.
However, yes you are correct that there is that nagging poor representation of how the funding for the college would go, but still, she is cut off, so she is going to need money, and she could go to the college to discuss at least the possibility of work around town or other places.

 

[Arigon]

Well, lets be fair, would you rather play a game that's mostly about the legal correctness of contracts, financial aid options for the educational system, unavailable LI's because they're working 24/7 to support themselves, but has good writing by those standards although there's really nothing happening....

Or do you want to play BaDik or whatever other game that has an interesting story?
I dunno, sometimes you should really just accept some parts of the story are not exactly 100% real life proof, in BaDik this mostly happens for story reasons, so i don't see any problems....

Oh I am not particularly hung up on the legal aspects here.

I do cringe when I read this story, and I am 100% playing the steam version, was a patron on Patreon briefly, and now playing here on a pirate site because of the tig bitties. DPC does art very well

Otherwise, most of my amusement on the thread comes from occasionally making comments on here and watching the fanboys rise to defend the holy father of BADIK.

I am not nearly as well behaved on this thread as I am on my more usual one(s).

 

[Arigon]

Josy is a dwarf (to some, petite to her fans of course) and she talks too much (I don't find it particularly annoying but Derek has developed his Jojo filter)

ISABELLA is cold and distant; Bella is passionate and caring, humorous and playful though

Bella is my soul/sole reason for being a BADIK fan!

 

[TuffyTenToes]

 

[Arigon]

DPC's terrible writing would not be a regular order if it wasn't true. Maya's illogical funding issues also would not keep coming up if they made any sense whatsoever. So while I enjoy the comic, it just does a great job of trolling DPC graphically for me!

 

[znar25]

ISABELLA is cold and distant; Bella is passionate and caring, humorous and playful though

Well said.

 

[felicemastronzo]

What some people seem to keep forgetting is that the time passed within the story is currently quite short; and most of the characters haven’t known about Maya’s problems for very long.

The mc's only known Maya for about 2 months, since they've only just sat their midterms, and he's only known about her dad's black mail for about half that time.

Since he's known, the mc has also been dealing with heaps of other shit, and hardly spent much time considering Maya's predicament (a huge amount of his time has been dealing with his own issues, like repairing the mansion and fucking as many girls as he can ).

Derek has known the longest, but he's not exactly reliable; he's definitely not someone we'd expect to be dispersing sound financial advice.

I'm not sure how long Josy's known about the blackmail for, but she's even complained that Maya isn't trying to solve her own problems. They've been fighting and bitching with each other half the time.

So even though we, the readers, have had ages to discuss the issue, the characters in the story have not.

To make matters worse, Maya had dreamed up her hairbrained scheme of joining the HOTs and having them pay for her tuition, so she put all her eggs into that basket, only to have it fall through. By then she'd pretty much wasted the first month of college without even considering other avenues for solving her situation.

Then after sulking and wasting more time, Maya is now relying on Sage trying to help her.

I wouldn't call this bad writing, I'd say it is Maya's fault for being dumb (she was deliberately written that way). She's been called out for it by Josy:

Spoiler: Josy's not impressed

You don't have permission to view the spoiler content. Log in or register now.

And the mc's had a go at her for constantly dramatizing it all:

Spoiler: Stop whining Maya

You don't have permission to view the spoiler content. Log in or register now.

If anything, DPC has managed to characterise most of the prominent characters quite well. They have a few inconsistencies (proving they're not just computer programs... well actually... they are ), but on a whole each character is defined well enough that we come to expect certain behaviour from them.

So it's not shitty writing that in the stretch of roughly a couple of months, a handful of characters, who have been dealing with numerous distractions, haven't come to the rescue and solved all of Maya's problems yet.

Personally I find it quit perplexing that anyone can work their way through this game, pay full attention to everything it has to offer, and turn around and suggest the game has shitty writing.

Of course the game isn't perfect, but the detail, foreshadowing, dialogue, and direction are so far above most of the competitors here, I wonder where these critics are getting their reference for what good AVN writing is.

On the management of the characters I agree with you completely, they should simply be accepted with their imperfections, which ultimately define all of us, or do you think you are a list of merits?

sure when we get away from the characters, let's say the side plot, of stuff "not well written" there is different, but let's say it's side dish.
and the reference there is the simple and banal logic

 

[sixart]

Well said.

A true SIMP indeed

 

[felicemastronzo]

Well, lets be fair, would you rather play a game that's mostly about the legal correctness of contracts, financial aid options for the educational system, unavailable LI's because they're working 24/7 to support themselves, but has good writing by those standards although there's really nothing happening....

Or do you want to play BaDik or whatever other game that has an interesting story?
I dunno, sometimes you should really just accept some parts of the story are not exactly 100% real life proof, in BaDik this mostly happens for story reasons, so i don't see any problems....

just keep it at the edge of the narrative

no one wants to know how the wicked witch poisons the apple, but if you show me the recipe and the doses I have to ask myself some questions