Look, you can keep defending DPC, but the crux of the matter is that 4 people (MC Maya Josy Sage), some of who (Sage) is proclaimed to be smart by someone who looks smart (Bella), have spent considerable amount of time trying to solve a problem, and no one even suggested that Maya go talk to the school financial office to understand her situation, before going to Sage's parents and asking them to cough up tens of thousands of dollars.
They don't need to solve the problem for her in that time frame. But if no one suggests during the entire month (per your timeframe above) that she should do the painfully obvious thing that can help, that's shitty writing.
On my "bad writing" critique, that really comes from two angles - one is that if the writing of the work is okay to good elsewhere, then the shitty part becomes obvious. I assume you can tell the potato is overcooked even if the steak is done right. Second, there are many, many, many AVNs that have great writing. Many of them are translated from Japanese - Ever 17, Baldr Sky, etc. (Japan has had an active AVN industry for 40 years) but even some on this site is pretty good, like Good Girl Gone Bad. That game is quite lacking in the graphic department, but the writing/branching/mechanics/player freedom is very advanced.
The crux of the matter is no one has spent any time trying to do anything related to Maya's predicament other than get Maya into the HOTs.
That was Maya's plan. She didn't ask for anyone to help her in regards to her loan issue until the HOTs free tuition evaporated.
That was right at the end of episode 6. That was a year ago for us. Not that long ago for the Scooby Gang.
As soon as she mentioned it to Sage, Sage figured her parents could help out. I'm not sure where you're getting the idea that they will just outright pay for Maya's tuition, because no one in the game has suggested that. But Burke is high up in the college administration, so maybe he can help, some how.
Given how Sage is loath to ask her parents for any help, she could have tried other avenues to assist Maya, but she figured her parents were the best option.
That's definitely not a stretch of the imagination that a young adult might speak with their parents before they start running around making appointments with legal aide.
My month time frame was for the mc alone, and you may have noticed, he's been serious fucking preoccupied, as I already outlined. Sage just found out about it, Derek is an idiot, and we don't know about Josy.
Personally I think it's comprehension that's the issue here, not the writing...
shazba TimHawk and others defending DPC's "writing".
DPC's writing is not good. I am giving you that straight up. He gives it to you straight up that his writing is his weak point in interviews with him. He can not follow logic/tell his tale to save his life. His story AL was terrible except for the wingman, and his story here is laughable except for the wingman. His MC's are particularly unlikable, and yes, his writing of Maya and her situation is completely stupid. This is supposed to be an American college. In all American colleges that are not rip off's like say tRump university, there are ways for students to get financial assistance if they are in need. Maya's "bank" problem is a money problem. The college financial folks can assist her in finding alternate means of funding her education with, or without her father.
DPC is a master at his renders, animations, and picking music that fits his art. He pretty well sucks at writing a coherent story.
Peace
Those who don't like DPC's writing always say that DPC said it's his weak point. That's a really bad take from what he said:
Do you feel limited when writing due to your choice of using only monologue and dialog to describe what's happening? For action, you rely completely on the visuals, which becomes especially apparent during sex scenes. Wouldn't you sometimes like to use more detailed text or rich descriptions to go deeper into the scene?
No, I don’t feel limited by that choice of writing style, but, yes, I do miss out on painting the scene further than visuals go. When writing a book, detailed text and rich descriptions are necessary, and I felt that the game being a visual novel, didn’t need that narrative. It removes some of the immersion when a narrator describes a scene's details versus the character saying, thinking, or expressing it through body language.
My chosen writing method plays to my strengths, as I see writing as my biggest weakness. Even though I constantly try to improve my writing, I think I lack the skill set needed to write a novel in the way you're describing.
He's not saying he can't write a story plot. He even said his chosen method of writing plays to his strengths, i.e. character dialogue with visuals. The writing that he admits he's not good at is the descriptive style story telling (which he avoids altogether).
This has nothing to do with creating an actual storyline which he does really well purely dialogue. When it comes to a visual novel, I really like this dialogue only approach, I can't stand the visual novels that try to describe the sex scenes, they are truly cringeworthy.
Once again, this issue is comprehension, not writing.
She does if her daddy isn't paying.
She needs funding for college. Whether it is spending money or dorm/tuition money, the girl needs money. At a minimum the college will have resources to assist students in finding jobs. Whether those are workstudy type jobs does require financial aid evaluations being performed. If her father is being a douche, this won't qualify her for much of course, but they would still help her find a non hoe job.
Her issue is her dad has
threatened to withhold her funds. It's a threat, and as far as I'm concerned, it's a bluff. She'd be paid up for the first semester already most likely.
Just like how Jill simply stood up to Tybalt and his bluff turned to shit, I believe Maya will eventually do the same thing.
Actually, I am not a lawyer, my room mate from college was, I am an engineer.
However, yes you are correct that there is that nagging poor representation of how the funding for the college would go, but still, she is cut off, so she is going to need money, and she could go to the college to discuss at least the possibility of work around town or other places.
The poor representation is from Maya's mouth. There is nothing to corroborate what her father has told her. Probably because it's bullshit. He's bluffing/threatening her to force her to do something. She's just too inexperienced to realise what he's told her is horseshit.
