I've noticed quite a few instances of mixing up character names/relationships, mostly the sisters' names being swapped, but also the MC calling himself a sister at one point. Best advice I can give, seeing as you're avoiding Patreon(smart), is to just get rid of the relationship customization altogether. Go all-in on the familial relations, otherwise you end up with a lot of variable errors(incorrect relationships). Same is true for customizable LI names. It's a novel idea, but there's universal mods like URM that let players change names. Using variables for every character's name just makes mistakes more common when writing. You're on your initial release, and already the sisters' names are incorrect almost as often as they're correct.
You've also got a lot of dialogue that sounds completely unnatural, since you're writing for variable relationships. Things like MC and the sisters saying "my mom", instead of just "Mom" when talking among each other. Siblings don't say "my mom" or "our mom" when talking to each other; it's just "Mom". If you just commit to the intended relationships now, your writing will improve significantly, and you'll save yourself a lot of headache compared to doing it further into development.
Edit PS: If you intend to keep the variable LI names, a really useful trick is to write everything with their default names, and then use "find and replace all" to swap to the variable, one name at a time. You'll end up mixing up names a lot less this way, since you don't have to try to remember the correct variables while writing.
You've also got a lot of dialogue that sounds completely unnatural, since you're writing for variable relationships. Things like MC and the sisters saying "my mom", instead of just "Mom" when talking among each other. Siblings don't say "my mom" or "our mom" when talking to each other; it's just "Mom". If you just commit to the intended relationships now, your writing will improve significantly, and you'll save yourself a lot of headache compared to doing it further into development.
Edit PS: If you intend to keep the variable LI names, a really useful trick is to write everything with their default names, and then use "find and replace all" to swap to the variable, one name at a time. You'll end up mixing up names a lot less this way, since you don't have to try to remember the correct variables while writing.
