- Jul 24, 2021
- 298
- 734
I was given a Tybalt v Benoit comparison so I had to run with it and show what a real comparison would be.
I have neither played any of the game nor read the Dev's responses.
But they say to write what you know. When you don't know and make stuff up, some times it becomes very much apparent how much ____ flows out of your mouth. Some people will agree and love it causing civil unrest, others will give feedback and watch people break down because they never learned how to deal with criticism.
But more still will just go... "Pass the popcorn."
- Mar 9, 2021
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Fair enough.
Though Tybalt is a sissy mf, every time mc does something to him, he complains about that to Jill. mc might pursue even his mother in next few updates.
- Nov 24, 2019
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...
He talks like he is some big shit. Oh poor fucker.
This idiot and his stream of consciousness mental diarrhea writing. I mean if he likes to think he shits from the nape and not the anus he should at least have the mastery of the language and technique to back his claims. For fuck sake even James Joyce was derided for writing mental diarrhea like that and he could actually write. Now we have this fucker and a box of crayons pretending to be the second coming.
You can see by the intro that this dude has some mental problems. If the dude is writing porn and not best sellers he should know he sucks at it.
At the very least they need someone else to read the script,and throw a Holup when necessary.
- Dec 14, 2018
- 591
- 1,244
I just want to say that I really enjoyed this game. Very much so. I see some people here didn't like it or down right hated it for whatever reason. There is a learning curve for a lot of people who are developing VNs. I am sure constructive criticism is something anyone can take. However, to see some of the comments and reviews just down right thrashing the game... especially from a lot of new people here and some of whom who never commented or reviewed before.
Whatever your reasons for disliking the game, maybe you should just move on. There are many more of us who enjoy this so far, and it's only been a Demo and a first release.
So to Knight (who I am not sure will see this but hopefully will be told) and Sol, I'd like to quote an underrated goof of a film...
'Never give up, never surrender.' I already joined in supporting you on Patreon (albeit at a lower tier), but come February I will be upping that support. Don't let the trolls here deter you, your work is brilliant and maybe it is just too brilliant for some of the fools here to see.
So thank you for making this VN, and while it is down the road, I am already anticipating the next chapter.
DISCLAIMER: The opinions expressed in this comment are strictly my own and do not necessarily reflect those affiliated with this thread.
Whatever your reasons for disliking the game, maybe you should just move on. There are many more of us who enjoy this so far, and it's only been a Demo and a first release.
So to Knight (who I am not sure will see this but hopefully will be told) and Sol, I'd like to quote an underrated goof of a film...
'Never give up, never surrender.' I already joined in supporting you on Patreon (albeit at a lower tier), but come February I will be upping that support. Don't let the trolls here deter you, your work is brilliant and maybe it is just too brilliant for some of the fools here to see.
So thank you for making this VN, and while it is down the road, I am already anticipating the next chapter.
DISCLAIMER: The opinions expressed in this comment are strictly my own and do not necessarily reflect those affiliated with this thread.
- Apr 25, 2020
- 1,075
- 7,959
I didn't see a single troll here so far, if you want to consider a good portion of the criticisms as trolls i don't know what to say to you. Also, the brilliant thing is very pretentious, it looks like i need to study art/literature or some shit people that are above me intelectually do so i can enjoy the things i didn't in the game and not be a fool like you said, nah.. let me go back to picking my nose and eating crayons, it's easier.
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- May 28, 2017
- 1,758
- 4,606
I have to agree with most opinions about the writing being not so good, but I wouldn't say it's awful and there's definitely still ways to fix this.
Inner monologue being overused is the obvious issue because it is basically telling the players what's happening in writing. It's great for a book where it helps the reader to imagine what's happening and what the character is thinking, but it's less effective in video game format because the advantage of being a game is that it doesn't have to rely on the player's imagination. The game can actually show these thoughts and it doesn't have to tell the player in writing.
The other problem IMO is the breaking of the fourth wall as well as real world reference. Choosing to proceed with Sakae or not, it shouldn't be followed with dev's comment which really breaks the immersion. Real world reference can be ok if it's done well, but just like the inner monologue, I think the writer ended up putting too many of those.
Next up is the whole non-English words but without context. "Lillasyster" is such an annoying word to use when there's no context. Yes, it's easy enough to guess that it means "little sister", but why is a Florentino (that sounds Italian) using a Swedish word like that? Then of course it continued with more Swedish, Japanese, and then Italian for some reason. What started as small annoyance of using non-English ended up being poor character portrayal because multi-lingual people don't actually switch between languages for sentences like that. They might switch languages depending on the other people, or if they can't find the right word in one language, but they don't speak English for one sentence, then Japanese for two sentences, then Italian for three sentences, and Swedish for another few sentences like that.
Lastly, it's also jarring to play as an MC but being somewhat irrelevant in scenes. It's like the other characters would talk while MC just stayed out uninvolved and/or being unresponsive even when they were talking about him.
I'll end this post in a somewhat more positive note. I think the plot is quite good, and I think the characters are quite interesting. So the core of the game is pretty solid. With improvements on the writing and presentation, this game could become much better. Here's hoping for a better next version.
Inner monologue being overused is the obvious issue because it is basically telling the players what's happening in writing. It's great for a book where it helps the reader to imagine what's happening and what the character is thinking, but it's less effective in video game format because the advantage of being a game is that it doesn't have to rely on the player's imagination. The game can actually show these thoughts and it doesn't have to tell the player in writing.
The other problem IMO is the breaking of the fourth wall as well as real world reference. Choosing to proceed with Sakae or not, it shouldn't be followed with dev's comment which really breaks the immersion. Real world reference can be ok if it's done well, but just like the inner monologue, I think the writer ended up putting too many of those.
Next up is the whole non-English words but without context. "Lillasyster" is such an annoying word to use when there's no context. Yes, it's easy enough to guess that it means "little sister", but why is a Florentino (that sounds Italian) using a Swedish word like that? Then of course it continued with more Swedish, Japanese, and then Italian for some reason. What started as small annoyance of using non-English ended up being poor character portrayal because multi-lingual people don't actually switch between languages for sentences like that. They might switch languages depending on the other people, or if they can't find the right word in one language, but they don't speak English for one sentence, then Japanese for two sentences, then Italian for three sentences, and Swedish for another few sentences like that.
Lastly, it's also jarring to play as an MC but being somewhat irrelevant in scenes. It's like the other characters would talk while MC just stayed out uninvolved and/or being unresponsive even when they were talking about him.
I'll end this post in a somewhat more positive note. I think the plot is quite good, and I think the characters are quite interesting. So the core of the game is pretty solid. With improvements on the writing and presentation, this game could become much better. Here's hoping for a better next version.
- Mar 9, 2021
- 146
- 429
I just want to say that I happen to not enjoy this game. Not as much as i would have liked since demo. I see some people here liked it or out right loved it for whatever reason. There is a learning curve for a lot of people who are developing VNs. I am sure constructive criticism is something anyone can take. However, to see some of the comments and reviews just down right simping it...to fuckin 5 star ratings for the game which has been nothing less than soap opera, which especially from a lot of new people here and some of whom who never commented or reviewed before but I'm not gonna sound like insecure puppy and say that they do have a right to comment or review.. And I'm sure dev is more than able to stand up for himself and going to release next update which might blow away expectations of critics in a positive way.
Whatever your reasons for liking the game, maybe you should just move on. There are many more of us who would like to enjoy the game by improving it from whatever it was and criticism are important tool in happening so and not ass licking, and it's only been a Demo and a first release so I'm pretty sure the next update is going to be the most awaited update going ahead.
So to Knight (who I am not sure will see this but hopefully will be told) and Sol, I'd like to quote an underrated goof of a film...
'Never give up, never surrender.' I already joined in supporting you on Patreon (albeit at a lower tier), but come February I will be upping that support. Don't let the trolls here distract you from creating something which is supposed to be more than mediocre, your work is okayish and may i say slightly childish for some of the fools here to see but I have full faith in you.
So thank you for making this VN, and while it is down the road, I am already anticipating the next chapter. Can't wait already........
DISCLAIMER: The opinions expressed in this comment are strictly my own and do not necessarily reflect those affiliated with this thread
- Jul 28, 2021
- 199
- 748
I'm in totally love with this person's posts.
What disturbed me?
I don't care that a LI is not a virgin or a whore while I mostly prefer virgins since it's quite a feeling to be someone's first, however, I don't need to hear how good was she fucked by a dirty old man. Are we supposed to like Grace? Help her? How can we help a whore to change if Benoit's dick is still on her mind? Maybe we're supposed to hate Grace? If the goal is to help Grace from her past, the writing didn't do her favourably as it only showed us she's still a dirty slut. If unless in this game, dev wanted us to enjoy reading about the sexual adventures of Grace with other person.
Why Happened?
There are 2 cases visible to my human eyes.
Little bit misunderstanding, miscommunication & assumption between Devs. Both are good in their work, just take all the critics & reviews to improve the project. They're not telling to change the whole plot just telling what will appeal them more.
Other case, What happened was a plan to become a controversial topic. You can tell people the game/VN will be totally NTR free at first, gather all the NTR haters here. Not showing visibly ntr but just a small indication and let players imagine what will they hate. Now you can always say there is no such content and there is not, but a small fire. You all can see here that the thread literally exploded with comments. While writing this post count is nearby 400 and can easily cross 1-2k in 1 week. When the replies increases it shows in the home page. And 30% chance is that person will visit the thread. So bad publicity is also a publicity
.It's not an attack or such but a possibility which hit my mind.
What next?
Since there are 2 persons working on the project, an artist & a writer. If it takes too much to an artist to tell the writer to change the things during development, (I can understand like writer getting frustrated after making few changes and again told to make new changes.) you can disburse the release to a few close friends for reviewing and taking their opinions before releasing at a large scale. Then based on that reviews you can ask the writer to change some things about different scenes. So it will not be of much pressure on the artist.
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- Dec 1, 2019
- 266
- 417
I liked to for the most part. It's interesting enough to push through some of the flaws this game has. I admit I skipped some of it just so I could finish it and see where it was going so I'll have to go back and read some of the stuff I missed.
I think there was too much inner dialogue that made scenes longer than they should've been. The language switching was confusing and took a while to realize what was going on. Last thing I'll critique is the beta comment for rejecting the teacher. I know based on the inner thoughts of the MC he falls for every girl he sees right away but don't break the storytelling with your personal comments.
Now good things. The length for the the 1st release was great and setup the story going forward. I liked seeing where Nessa was in life in comparison to the MC and where it will lead once they see each other especially after Tianna voiced her concerns in the beginning. Too early to judge the girls so don't really have any favorites at the moment as you only spend time with just a few but there is baggage everywhere so it will be difficult to choose which one will be helped the most if given the choice because some have gone through some tough situations.
Overall good start to the game. Maybe clean it up some and keep learning as you go and I look forward to the next update in a few months
I think there was too much inner dialogue that made scenes longer than they should've been. The language switching was confusing and took a while to realize what was going on. Last thing I'll critique is the beta comment for rejecting the teacher. I know based on the inner thoughts of the MC he falls for every girl he sees right away but don't break the storytelling with your personal comments.
Now good things. The length for the the 1st release was great and setup the story going forward. I liked seeing where Nessa was in life in comparison to the MC and where it will lead once they see each other especially after Tianna voiced her concerns in the beginning. Too early to judge the girls so don't really have any favorites at the moment as you only spend time with just a few but there is baggage everywhere so it will be difficult to choose which one will be helped the most if given the choice because some have gone through some tough situations.
Overall good start to the game. Maybe clean it up some and keep learning as you go and I look forward to the next update in a few months
- Nov 23, 2017
- 1,655
- 3,722
So, I've had some time to process the game, and overall, it does have a very strong start. Yes, some things in the game are definitely things some won't like, and that's fine, everyone is allowed to feel how they want when playing a game, watching a show, reading a book. With me, I'm excited to see what happens next. With that said, the main complaint I have has to do with the lack of choices, where I feel like some area's could have definitely had more choices to better develop mc and determine how the other characters would react to him. I do also feel like the girls fawning over mc doesn't really fit in the story, but that's more of a minor complaint than anything else. In terms of girls, my favorite is Kylie based on how she's written and looks. I'm not sure how I feel about the other girls yet as it feels too early to really get a feel for any of them.
- Mar 30, 2019
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- 1,490
- Oct 4, 2020
- 168
- 152
Go and play minecraft, create youre own cuckworld, cuckbrained cuckolder
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- Jun 25, 2017
- 3,373
- 7,212
Seems this thread has been taken over by the 'Anti-NTR Cultists'
- Oct 4, 2020
- 168
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- Nov 19, 2020
- 915
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"NTR Prophets" vs Anti-NTR Cultists
It's great that if you just tell someone it's not their place to dictate how someone else's game is going to play out it ends like this.
It's still valid even if he said that. Just because that inner monologe was....quite extreme to be exact, that doesn't mean they broke their promise in terms of not adding something like NTR.
Just because peoples paranoia of those lovely 3 letters got sparked by that doesn't mean it's actually going to happen.
Just because peoples paranoia of those lovely 3 letters got sparked by that doesn't mean it's actually going to happen.
