Hi everyone,
It has been weird year for everyone. We had to stay home, limit our social life, and made sacrifices, so we could beat that thing called covid-19. Thing is, I've been living like that for three years.
I have never been very social and work from home on a game was a dream come true. At first it felt great - no boss above me, fluid work hours and a job that I loved. But at the same time I isolated myself from the world even more than I already had.
Last year around this this time I stopped communicating with everyone, depression kicked in, and I have practically ended all connections with all my remaining friends. I have no one now but my mom that I call from time to time. I am alone.
I wasn't lonely though. I thought that maybe that's what my life is supposed to be. So I tried to focus on the work, but I felt worse and worse. I took more and more day offs and I was doing nothing at all. And I think you can see it in the updates.
I think I don't want to be alone anymore, so I need a change. I want to do something, where I can meet people from my country, so I can maybe have a chance to build an IRL relationships. You guys are amazing, but I will never meet any one of you, and none of you will be my girlfriend.
You've all been a great support to me. I think I wouldn't be around without your help. I appreciate you all and I always be thankful, but I can't do this anymore. Not now, at least.
I want to finish this game, but I don't know if I ever will.
So from now on, I'm going to pause the billing cycle until I decide to come back, or end it completely. Right now, I don't know what will happen in the future. Hopefully I'll finally find a balance in my life.
Love you all and Merry Christmas
MikeMasters