VN Ren'Py Abandoned Connected [v0.2.5] [ChainZero]

4.60 star(s) 62 Votes

King Jr

Newbie
Feb 17, 2019
29
112
the Girls Look all good and Incest is alywas a plus for Me XD but I hate the fact it forcefuly make you see the Mother who give you by birth away and as soon the knows she goona die she call you.. Why you need then to go to so a Bitch? Sorry but If she never Had cancer or the cancer would't kill her she would't have call the MC so why Is MC wrong for sayin he get nothing Form this Woman who gave him away and has a Daughter after him so Fuck that- she just wanna get a "I forgive" form the Baby she gave away selfish 100 %
 

SecretDesire

Active Member
May 15, 2019
772
1,009
Game is soo good and unique but there is one thing bothering me.

I realy realy hope there is no forced Lesbian scenes and making girl/girl scene just try to set up for threesome ground for MC.
Because Dev. explained Sister's friend Les/bi with a purpose and i guess it's just giving us some clue about her she try to pursue Ayana or Sis. (i guess MC's sis kinda have a thing with her or had)

Lets wait for next updates and see...
 
Jan 28, 2019
277
1,565
Ya know, I didn't put this in my review, but trying to get into the game, this is bugging me a lot, so I'm gonna put it here to get it off my chest.

I don't like the MC's relationship with his friend. At all.

I've been "friendzoned" in real life. Fuck, she bluntly told me so, when the friendship ended. She kept me around, knowing I was into her, as a friend, on the back burner, while actively sabotaging potential relationships I could have had. She did it because, as she eventually told me, if she fucked up too badly, she knew she would have the choice to fall back to me.
And then, after 12 years of "friendship," she finally got knocked up, decided he was the one, and called me to lunch (which she walked out on when she was done, for me to pay for), telling me all of this, and that yeah, we were real friends too, but I was mainly backup, and she felt it was fucked to have me around at all anymore, if she thought she found something permenant.

So, I'm not a fan of guys bitching about friendzoning, but I've heard it from the horses fucking mouth that, yes, it is real.

What does that have to do with this game?

The MC and his friend have, what seems to me, an even worse relationship.
The idea of being so close to someone, that they are your absolute best friend you are almost inseparable from, and you have a mutual attraction so you also fuck, but romance is out of the picture, is sort of hell.
Especially when the game seems to want to show the plot that they do have romantic feelings and are trying to... deny them or ignore them or something?
If you're that close anyways, and willing to fuck anyways, why deny a romantic interest?

As a guy, I can tell you that one of the more soul destroying things to feel, is being in love with someone who is willing to fuck you, but rebuffs you at every turn if you want anything more. Especially when she is willing to look for romance elsewhere. It isn't like she's written as a chick who isn't interested in a relationship and just wants casual fun. It establishes that she was willing to, short term at least, cut contact with you to appease a guy she was dating who was serious about her.
And after breaking up with him, she's back to you like nothing happened? Flashing her pussy on the couch and teasing you?

Something that is no man's fantasy ever?
To sit there and watch the girl he loves fuck guy after guy... to put him on the back burner, even cut contact, only to come back to you... until the next guy comes along, because she won't admit to herself she has feelings for you.... until the day she finally does.
That just doesn't do it for me. Not in fiction. And having experienced similar in real life, playing a game where that is treated as a slow-burn towards romance plotline actually puts a hard pit in my stomach that makes me feel nauseous, and just leaves me to absolutely despise her character.
I've spent more time laying back and "fantasizing" about how I would tell her I was sick of being teased, used as a cheap thrill but never respected, and abandoned for whatever guy she was dating, and that I wanted her out of my life.

I mean, her character model is gorgeous and she comes across, otherwise, as a decent person, but that aspect of her and the game put me off really fucking hard.

Well thought out, and well written games are few and far between. Games that try to incorporate some reality into the story telling are few and far between. Games that want to push what feels like a real, honest emotional connection between the characters, and build a believable romance that you can lose yourself in... they don't appeal to many people who just want a porn game, and are insanely hard to write, so they are insanely few and far between.
But that is this game's mission. And as I said in my review, on paper, this should be exactly what I want.

But the minute we got changed that the MC's dad's friend's place, and she comes in and shows off the swimsuit and then pulls down my trunks to blow me or whatever.... I just quit the game.

What do I want in this game, to make the relationship between him and her more real, and the possibility of romance to feel more rewarding?
I'd like, right after the shower scene, when she is sitting on your couch and putting her cunt on full display for you, the MC to lose his cool a little and ask her "what are we? Because if we're friends and nothing more, you need to close your legs and cover up. I don't want to be your outlet until your next relationship. And if you want to be more than friends but you don't want any serious relationship with me, you need to get out, because I'm not sure I can stand being your friend, your fuck buddy, but not being good enough for you to really consider me. We're either friends, only... or willing to consider a real relationship like adults, or we're nothing to each other. I can't keep doing this."


ok, look. I don't expect my dream game to be made, or someone's existing game to be changed to suit what I crave. But normally, if a game strikes me the wrong way, I just close it and delete it. No "emotional investment," and no playing it longer to give it a better shot.
I restarted and played this through 2 or 3 times, up to the changing room scene, because I wanted to give this game a chance that I usually don't give games that hit me wrong, and because I did get mildly emotionally invested in the character...
but sometimes emotional investment in a story is a bad thing, because in trying to get into the story and the characters, I ended up getting worked up by the situation.
This just... fuck, I donno.
This quarantine shit is driving everyone nuts, I sleep like shit and I live alone and haven't gotten into any TV or shit to binge, so I really haven't had much of an outlet. So I've been trying more games and hoping for better stories to get lost in. Maybe in other situations, I'd have just written the game off and moved on, but right now I have nothing else to do... I get fixated, and when I get upset, I guess I just need to vent it out. Sure it's petty, and I'm babbling and typing way too much, but in my mindset right now, this game hit an almost FLAWLESS intersection of everything I wanted a game to be right now, and everything you could incorporate into a story to get an unpleasant, visceral reaction from me. And I didn't want to say this stuff in the review because I don't want to drive people away from the game, but at least in my frame of mind right now, and trying so hard to actually get emotionally invested in a story, the things that upset me hit like a slow-moving freight train.

I donno.

edit: fuck. I wrote a lot more than I thought I did.
 
Last edited:
Jan 28, 2019
277
1,565
Probably. She is gorgeous.
I was actually hoping, in the start of the game, that your friend would have also been adopted, and turn out to be your sister, but that may have been too predictable. And the sister is just.... well, you play enough of these games, and yous see the same (or at least, shockingly similar) character models. The sister is very different from other character in other games, so she instantly stood out to me.
 

Deleted member 444674

Member
Game Developer
Feb 17, 2018
405
5,483
Ya know, I didn't put this in my review, but trying to get into the game, this is bugging me a lot, so I'm gonna put it here to get it off my chest.

I don't like the MC's relationship with his friend. At all.

I've been "friendzoned" in real life. Fuck, she bluntly told me so, when the friendship ended. She kept me around, knowing I was into her, as a friend, on the back burner, while actively sabotaging potential relationships I could have had. She did it because, as she eventually told me, if she fucked up too badly, she knew she would have the choice to fall back to me.
And then, after 12 years of "friendship," she finally got knocked up, decided he was the one, and called me to lunch (which she walked out on when she was done, for me to pay for), telling me all of this, and that yeah, we were real friends too, but I was mainly backup, and she felt it was fucked to have me around at all anymore, if she thought she found something permenant.

So, I'm not a fan of guys bitching about friendzoning, but I've heard it from the horses fucking mouth that, yes, it is real.

What does that have to do with this game?

The MC and his friend have, what seems to me, an even worse relationship.
The idea of being so close to someone, that they are your absolute best friend you are almost inseparable from, and you have a mutual attraction so you also fuck, but romance is out of the picture, is sort of hell.
Especially when the game seems to want to show the plot that they do have romantic feelings and are trying to... deny them or ignore them or something?
If you're that close anyways, and willing to fuck anyways, why deny a romantic interest?

As a guy, I can tell you that one of the more soul destroying things to feel, is being in love with someone who is willing to fuck you, but rebuffs you at every turn if you want anything more. Especially when she is willing to look for romance elsewhere. It isn't like she's written as a chick who isn't interested in a relationship and just wants casual fun. It establishes that she was willing to, short term at least, cut contact with you to appease a guy she was dating who was serious about her.
And after breaking up with him, she's back to you like nothing happened? Flashing her pussy on the couch and teasing you?

Something that is no man's fantasy ever?
To sit there and watch the girl he loves fuck guy after guy... to put him on the back burner, even cut contact, only to come back to you... until the next guy comes along, because she won't admit to herself she has feelings for you.... until the day she finally does.
That just doesn't do it for me. Not in fiction. And having experienced similar in real life, playing a game where that is treated as a slow-burn towards romance plotline actually puts a hard pit in my stomach that makes me feel nauseous, and just leaves me to absolutely despise her character.
I've spent more time laying back and "fantasizing" about how I would tell her I was sick of being teased, used as a cheap thrill but never respected, and abandoned for whatever guy she was dating, and that I wanted her out of my life.

I mean, her character model is gorgeous and she comes across, otherwise, as a decent person, but that aspect of her and the game put me off really fucking hard.

Well thought out, and well written games are few and far between. Games that try to incorporate some reality into the story telling are few and far between. Games that want to push what feels like a real, honest emotional connection between the characters, and build a believable romance that you can lose yourself in... they don't appeal to many people who just want a porn game, and are insanely hard to write, so they are insanely few and far between.
But that is this game's mission. And as I said in my review, on paper, this should be exactly what I want.

But the minute we got changed that the MC's dad's friend's place, and she comes in and shows off the swimsuit and then pulls down my trunks to blow me or whatever.... I just quit the game.

What do I want in this game, to make the relationship between him and her more real, and the possibility of romance to feel more rewarding?
I'd like, right after the shower scene, when she is sitting on your couch and putting her cunt on full display for you, the MC to lose his cool a little and ask her "what are we? Because if we're friends and nothing more, you need to close your legs and cover up. I don't want to be your outlet until your next relationship. And if you want to be more than friends but you don't want any serious relationship with me, you need to get out, because I'm not sure I can stand being your friend, your fuck buddy, but not being good enough for you to really consider me. We're either friends, only... or willing to consider a real relationship like adults, or we're nothing to each other. I can't keep doing this."


ok, look. I don't expect my dream game to be made, or someone's existing game to be changed to suit what I crave. But normally, if a game strikes me the wrong way, I just close it and delete it. No "emotional investment," and no playing it longer to give it a better shot.
I restarted and played this through 2 or 3 times, up to the changing room scene, because I wanted to give this game a chance that I usually don't give games that hit me wrong, and because I did get mildly emotionally invested in the character...
but sometimes emotional investment in a story is a bad thing, because in trying to get into the story and the characters, I ended up getting worked up by the situation.
This just... fuck, I donno.
This quarantine shit is driving everyone nuts, I sleep like shit and I live alone and haven't gotten into any TV or shit to binge, so I really haven't had much of an outlet. So I've been trying more games and hoping for better stories to get lost in. Maybe in other situations, I'd have just written the game off and moved on, but right now I have nothing else to do... I get fixated, and when I get upset, I guess I just need to vent it out. Sure it's petty, and I'm babbling and typing way too much, but in my mindset right now, this game hit an almost FLAWLESS intersection of everything I wanted a game to be right now, and everything you could incorporate into a story to get an unpleasant, visceral reaction from me. And I didn't want to say this stuff in the review because I don't want to drive people away from the game, but at least in my frame of mind right now, and trying so hard to actually get emotionally invested in a story, the things that upset me hit like a slow-moving freight train.

I donno.
Believe it or not, out of the 40 reviews so far, your review is actually my favorite one, despite the 2 stars. I've given reviews that have talked about the insanely bloated text as well, so it's very much a bad habit I find myself trapped in a lot of times and don't know it until it's already written and as I've said, I'm not entirely proud of the first chapter because of this. I want to shorten the number of sentences and despite other people singing my praises, I don't pretend to be a great writer or anything like that. Not even a good one. At least not on a fundamental level.

The characters I'm writing here all share some of the things I've seen, some things I experienced, some things I wished for, and even some thoughts I had at a certain point in time, so I'd say it's natural to be mad at the Ayana situation. It's a weird situation that I failed (twice I believe) to make perfectly clear, despite the bloated amount of text, but in an equally weird way, I think that works as well, because no one is expected to really understand their relationship, and it's clear even they have questions about it.

As I said, Ayana does have a story to tell. A story based on things I've seen up close and things I thought of in those situations, and I'm not necessarily talking about her relationship with the MC. Ayana is quite possibly the most complex character I've created so I'm interested in everyone's thoughts when it's all said and done.

I completely get your agitation towards things, and you're probably on the right track there, but I'll say this. Ayana won't be forced onto you. It may not seem that way right now, but she won't be. If you don't want to waste your time with Ayana, you can find your peace in a different character. It's just a matter of time and as you said, with this quarantine, we ain't got nothin' but time.
 
Apr 24, 2018
214
577
Lol this is kinda funny cause of how much I relate to the confusion. Ayana’s mom is black and her dad is Jamaican. I dropped 2 of those hints that she was of Jamaican descent in the chapter. One in the middle and one in the MC’s last line of dialogue in this update.

I mentioned this before, but I say it’s funny cause people tend to confuse me and my dad for Spanish speaking as well. We are light skin. My mom is dark skinned. Dad was born in Jamaica yet he’s lighter than me, but anytime someone sees us together, particularly a Spanish speaking person, they tend to assume we’re also Spanish speaking.

So it’s kinda funny and poetic that Ayana is confusing people in that same way.
Aye! Same with me. Both my parents are from Jamaica but I'm really light skinned and people always think I'm Puerto Rican or something.
 

SecretDesire

Active Member
May 15, 2019
772
1,009
Believe it or not, out of the 40 reviews so far, your review is actually my favorite one, despite the 2 stars. I've given reviews that have talked about the insanely bloated text as well, so it's very much a bad habit I find myself trapped in a lot of times and don't know it until it's already written and as I've said, I'm not entirely proud of the first chapter because of this. I want to shorten the number of sentences and despite other people singing my praises, I don't pretend to be a great writer or anything like that. Not even a good one. At least not on a fundamental level.

The characters I'm writing here all share some of the things I've seen, some things I experienced, some things I wished for, and even some thoughts I had at a certain point in time, so I'd say it's natural to be mad at the Ayana situation. It's a weird situation that I failed (twice I believe) to make perfectly clear, despite the bloated amount of text, but in an equally weird way, I think that works as well, because no one is expected to really understand their relationship, and it's clear even they have questions about it.

As I said, Ayana does have a story to tell. A story based on things I've seen up close and things I thought of in those situations, and I'm not necessarily talking about her relationship with the MC. Ayana is quite possibly the most complex character I've created so I'm interested in everyone's thoughts when it's all said and done.

I completely get your agitation towards things, and you're probably on the right track there, but I'll say this. Ayana won't be forced onto you. It may not seem that way right now, but she won't be. If you don't want to waste your time with Ayana, you can find your peace in a different character. It's just a matter of time and as you said, with this quarantine, we ain't got nothin' but time.
I realy don't fan MC and Ayana relationship too it's seems like she got feelings for MC but she afraid of MC's reactions and maybe she is scared from MC's answer thinking like "What if he don't want it" or "if he don't want it maybe he don't want to do anything with me" kinda feelings and afraid of losing his best friend , lover.
She cut out MC for her date but it's because if she try to talk or do somethings with MC she afraid maybe she can't hold her self and cheat on her BF and she don't want it and it's all lie about she talked to her mother "i told him (MCname) and i have different relationship and he want me to cut all communication"
But still knowing if she find someone else just cut all communication with MC without say anything kinda bothering me too i hope we don't see something like that she don't give players a trust at this moment..

Good and unique game bdw (y):love:
 

Coinzell

Active Member
Jul 15, 2017
516
2,629
I'm almost never post a comment on this site, but man...
How i'm supposed to choose any other girl than Ayana after this update? I'm fuckin fall in love.
Though short, but still great update(y)
 

Ryder-Wilson

Member
Aug 29, 2017
245
2,166
Ya know, I didn't put this in my review, but trying to get into the game, this is bugging me a lot, so I'm gonna put it here to get it off my chest.

I don't like the MC's relationship with his friend. At all.

I've been "friendzoned" in real life. Fuck, she bluntly told me so, when the friendship ended. She kept me around, knowing I was into her, as a friend, on the back burner, while actively sabotaging potential relationships I could have had. She did it because, as she eventually told me, if she fucked up too badly, she knew she would have the choice to fall back to me.
And then, after 12 years of "friendship," she finally got knocked up, decided he was the one, and called me to lunch (which she walked out on when she was done, for me to pay for), telling me all of this, and that yeah, we were real friends too, but I was mainly backup, and she felt it was fucked to have me around at all anymore, if she thought she found something permenant.

So, I'm not a fan of guys bitching about friendzoning, but I've heard it from the horses fucking mouth that, yes, it is real.

What does that have to do with this game?

The MC and his friend have, what seems to me, an even worse relationship.
The idea of being so close to someone, that they are your absolute best friend you are almost inseparable from, and you have a mutual attraction so you also fuck, but romance is out of the picture, is sort of hell.
Especially when the game seems to want to show the plot that they do have romantic feelings and are trying to... deny them or ignore them or something?
If you're that close anyways, and willing to fuck anyways, why deny a romantic interest?

As a guy, I can tell you that one of the more soul destroying things to feel, is being in love with someone who is willing to fuck you, but rebuffs you at every turn if you want anything more. Especially when she is willing to look for romance elsewhere. It isn't like she's written as a chick who isn't interested in a relationship and just wants casual fun. It establishes that she was willing to, short term at least, cut contact with you to appease a guy she was dating who was serious about her.
And after breaking up with him, she's back to you like nothing happened? Flashing her pussy on the couch and teasing you?

Something that is no man's fantasy ever?
To sit there and watch the girl he loves fuck guy after guy... to put him on the back burner, even cut contact, only to come back to you... until the next guy comes along, because she won't admit to herself she has feelings for you.... until the day she finally does.
That just doesn't do it for me. Not in fiction. And having experienced similar in real life, playing a game where that is treated as a slow-burn towards romance plotline actually puts a hard pit in my stomach that makes me feel nauseous, and just leaves me to absolutely despise her character.
I've spent more time laying back and "fantasizing" about how I would tell her I was sick of being teased, used as a cheap thrill but never respected, and abandoned for whatever guy she was dating, and that I wanted her out of my life.

I mean, her character model is gorgeous and she comes across, otherwise, as a decent person, but that aspect of her and the game put me off really fucking hard.

Well thought out, and well written games are few and far between. Games that try to incorporate some reality into the story telling are few and far between. Games that want to push what feels like a real, honest emotional connection between the characters, and build a believable romance that you can lose yourself in... they don't appeal to many people who just want a porn game, and are insanely hard to write, so they are insanely few and far between.
But that is this game's mission. And as I said in my review, on paper, this should be exactly what I want.

But the minute we got changed that the MC's dad's friend's place, and she comes in and shows off the swimsuit and then pulls down my trunks to blow me or whatever.... I just quit the game.

What do I want in this game, to make the relationship between him and her more real, and the possibility of romance to feel more rewarding?
I'd like, right after the shower scene, when she is sitting on your couch and putting her cunt on full display for you, the MC to lose his cool a little and ask her "what are we? Because if we're friends and nothing more, you need to close your legs and cover up. I don't want to be your outlet until your next relationship. And if you want to be more than friends but you don't want any serious relationship with me, you need to get out, because I'm not sure I can stand being your friend, your fuck buddy, but not being good enough for you to really consider me. We're either friends, only... or willing to consider a real relationship like adults, or we're nothing to each other. I can't keep doing this."


ok, look. I don't expect my dream game to be made, or someone's existing game to be changed to suit what I crave. But normally, if a game strikes me the wrong way, I just close it and delete it. No "emotional investment," and no playing it longer to give it a better shot.
I restarted and played this through 2 or 3 times, up to the changing room scene, because I wanted to give this game a chance that I usually don't give games that hit me wrong, and because I did get mildly emotionally invested in the character...
but sometimes emotional investment in a story is a bad thing, because in trying to get into the story and the characters, I ended up getting worked up by the situation.
This just... fuck, I donno.
This quarantine shit is driving everyone nuts, I sleep like shit and I live alone and haven't gotten into any TV or shit to binge, so I really haven't had much of an outlet. So I've been trying more games and hoping for better stories to get lost in. Maybe in other situations, I'd have just written the game off and moved on, but right now I have nothing else to do... I get fixated, and when I get upset, I guess I just need to vent it out. Sure it's petty, and I'm babbling and typing way too much, but in my mindset right now, this game hit an almost FLAWLESS intersection of everything I wanted a game to be right now, and everything you could incorporate into a story to get an unpleasant, visceral reaction from me. And I didn't want to say this stuff in the review because I don't want to drive people away from the game, but at least in my frame of mind right now, and trying so hard to actually get emotionally invested in a story, the things that upset me hit like a slow-moving freight train.

I donno.

edit: fuck. I wrote a lot more than I thought I did.
The characters are well written and their behaviour are realistic and complex just like in real life, that why you feel like that. I am sure than even with the sister will not be the typical incest game where the MC is "my sister is hot as fuck, i want to fuck her in every holes and ways possible".
We don't have yet the full picture of Ayana and MC relationship and what happen in the past because the game it's still in early episodes and like i said, the drama don't even start, maybe she is afraid that if they get engaged and break up later she will lose him or won't be the same because each other will not be able even to look in their eyes. They are still young, not teenagers but still young and is normal that they are afraid. I doubt that with Ayana will end with a friendzone or that she use MC just for her own pleasure(Also, i don't want to sound rude but realistically if a sexy girl like her want to fuck with you in real life and you are single i doubt that you would reject her even if you are in love with her, especially when you know her for long time, like in this case with MC and Ayana).
It's still a VN where the player choices matter and it's the player that choice the destiny of the MC so if a player want to avoid her he can (i guess) in later episodes.
I think that the the story with Charlotte will be even more complex and deeper than the MC-Ayana story, avoid a good game just for one character it's a shame especially when you are not forced to have a relationship with that character.
 
4.60 star(s) 62 Votes