VN Ren'Py Abandoned Connected [v0.2.5] [ChainZero]

4.60 star(s) 61 Votes

Deleted member 444674

Member
Game Developer
Feb 17, 2018
405
5,472
ChainZero LOVED the game, beautiful work man :giggle:(y)

loved the look of the MC's apartment, it looks very cozy :)
a nice big fluffy carpet in front of the TV would be a nice edition too :)

MC has a dog, and it's a golden lab, now that is a BIG + in my book and she is absolutely adorable :love:
Ayana is beautiful :love:, she reminds me so much of my ex, some scenes when she is face to face with the MC is just a little bit scary for me to process :D
loved her conection and scenes when playing with Lola, great job :)

the renders and animations are very well done, no suprises there :cool:

the only negative thing in my book are those few words by Ayana when she is talking like she's a black dude from the hood, that needs to go :)


putting this on my watch list, great job on your first VN :giggle:(y)
Thanks for the kind words. I'm truly glad people seem to like it so much so far. In terms of Ayana's language, I won't make it annoyingly off-putting. If you read one of my previous comments, I mentioned that I'm from NYC. Born & raised in the hood. I don't love it, but the way she talks just comes naturally to me because this is how I've been bred to talk to my peers since I was like 13. I'm 22 now. It's vulgar but it's also just how things are. I understand it might be uncomfortable or cringy for others, and I did take that into account when I was writing this. But I'll make sure the slang doesn't get too off the rails.

Like many, I find it a bit unattractive when a girl cusses too much or tries too hard. I faced a LOT of that in high school so I tried to find a balance with Ayana (who is black btw.) She's a beautiful girl but I did want to portray her with some flaws. I believe the slang adds another layer to her character and it makes her a bit unique, even if that uniqueness may appear unattractive. That's the point.
 

Look-see

Engaged Member
Aug 19, 2018
2,944
5,372
Thanks for the kind words. I'm truly glad people seem to like it so much so far. In terms of Ayana's language, I won't make it annoyingly off-putting. If you read one of my previous comments, I mentioned that I'm from NYC. Born & raised in the hood. I don't love it, but the way she talks just comes naturally to me because this is how I've been bred to talk to my peers since I was like 13. I'm 22 now. It's vulgar but it's also just how things are. I understand it might be uncomfortable or cringy for others, and I did take that into account when I was writing this. But I'll make sure the slang doesn't get too off the rails.

Like many, I find it a bit unattractive when a girl cusses too much or tries too hard. I faced a LOT of that in high school so I tried to find a balance with Ayana (who is black btw.) She's a beautiful girl but I did want to portray her with some flaws. I believe the slang adds another layer to her character and it makes her a bit unique, even if that uniqueness may appear unattractive. That's the point.
i grew up in a hispanic/black community with veeeery few white ppl. i think that's why the language doesnt bother me. cuz where i grew up no one gave a crap.:sneaky:
 

Uriel ☁

Well-Known Member
Nov 28, 2017
1,439
8,095
that's a hell of a reach man. but im assuming the dog brought this up?
Just for the record, the dog is female.
Though it would be important to know where the dev stand on the extreme fetish issue. Especially the 3-lettered one I won't dare to pronounce.
 

Fapinatorn

Newbie
Jun 25, 2017
22
32
Please tell me that you can dominate the mother, if she survives i guess... I would be so pissed if i got put up for adoption but they kept my other sibling/siblings. Just watched the new episode of Silicon Valley and similar setup for poor Jared. I would probs beat the shit out of my "father" if they kept the others than myself.
 

Deleted member 444674

Member
Game Developer
Feb 17, 2018
405
5,472
Please tell me that you can dominate the mother, if she survives i guess... I would be so pissed if i got put up for adoption but they kept my other sibling/siblings. Just watched the new episode of Silicon Valley and similar setup for poor Jared. I would probs beat the shit out of my "father" if they kept the others than myself.
I probably worded the summary awkwardly. I'm not good with summaries at all actually. No, they were both put up for adoption but were separated as a result while in foster care. The mom isn't a target in the story so there won't be any sexual content with her. Just the sister, when the time is right of course.
 
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Look-see

Engaged Member
Aug 19, 2018
2,944
5,372
I probably worded the summary awkwardly. I'm not good with summaries at all actually. No, they were both put up for adoption but were separated as a result while in foster care. The mom isn't a target in the story so there won't be any sexual content with her. Just the sister, when the time is right of course.
"But as you meet her, you learn that you were only one child that she had put up for adoption."

i guess you can change it to.

"But as you meet her, you learn that you were not the only child that she had put up for adoption."

not really needed though.
 

Fapinatorn

Newbie
Jun 25, 2017
22
32
I probably worded the summary awkwardly. I'm not good with summaries at all actually. No, they were both put up for adoption but were separated as a result while in foster care. The mom isn't a target in the story so there won't be any sexual content with her. Just the sister, when the time is right of course.
Thanks for response! Ok, and I probably sounded like i want to kill everyone who puts someone up for adoption. No issue with adoption. But choosing what child to put up for it seems so evil. Gonna try it out and support :)
 
4.60 star(s) 61 Votes