Ok - played it thru.
The whole Alice/Rose scene feels wrong to me.
1. She is a delivery girl - she dont have time to eat with a customer.
2. They spit on her at the mall and she is working without showering before that?
3. The highly intelligent and nice Rose let her shower during her worktime? - she wants her to get fired right?
4. Then the whole "oh she has no towels"-trope. I dont know where you guys haver your towels, mine are always in the bath or the washing kitchen (dunno if thats the correct english term ^^ - the room with the mashines you know
) - And there are ALWAYS towels in the bathroom. At least 3-4 ...
5. You know you can just open a door a bit and hide everything but your head right? - Maybe Alice is stupid, but I guess she understands how doors work.
Up to that point I picked probably all the "nice" choices, because the others made no sense to me and how I understand the character. But the choice to check on her made sense to me, so this was a good point to start the "corruption" for me.
6. The highly intelligent and nice Rose understands the Pandemic and she KNOWS that her student is not vaccinated (as said earlier, she knows all the health stats of her students). So when she sees her in the bath it is OBVIOUS that she will freak out and put her down - yeah ... no. - Now she even puts her into a slave relationship. I dont care what Mind controlling plot there will be - this is so out of character.
And instead of a that you could have made a fitting "sex" scene where she comforts her, and tries to "help" her in that situation with her exposure... something "reasonable" like that. Could have been a nice scene "Oh Alice - I ... had no idea... " ... you know it ... a bit awkward, a bit sexy ... something in line with the character.
This is probably what my problem is. There are (currently) no real characters in this game. Currently they are all just stereotypes (as far as we know them) - and Rose is meant to be a nice, intelligent, caring and a bit shy (not so sure on that part) person. At least that is what the game tells us (how others talk about her). And then we get this bathroom scene? Maybe this is because I played her so nice up to that point that it does not fit.
And why does it affect the virus what the MC is doing? The virus triggers when we decide to enter the bathroom, but not when we dont do that? - I guess she still masturbates because she stands in front of the toilet? But why dont we see that?
You have to choose what the player will see - do we only see what the MC sees or will we witness other scenes too? Then you have to show them all the time. When you show her masturbating and the MC is outside and cant see anything - and cant hear her, because we know the door is more or less soundproof, because of the towel scene, then you have to show it when she is not going there.
And at least I want to have a choice with the sub/dom thing. The choice here feels bad, because it is way to disconnected. I have to pick her as my slave because I cared and check on her? ... sorry ... that does not feel right to me.
Sure there might be something behind the curtains that the player does not know of of currently. All the distortion effects, and the last scene with the clock/mask switch. I can only comment on the stuff I saw and understand as a player, and currently that is distracting me so much that I cant find a connection to the game. I mentioned it earlier and now I think I know why that is the case. Maybe with a bit more content (and maybe some tweaking) this will work for me.
I guess for a lot of ppl this will be a fine game, because the renders are quite good. But I get annoyed by thing like I mentioned above.
I need characters and development that makes sense. A good example for that is GGGB. Even when it can escalate big time, it felt reasonable. You choices mattered and you understood them. When you choose to take drugs that has consequences - Even some exotic combination pf path work quite good. Not all of them and there can be problems with extremes - but in general the game had a good progression of the MC. Yeah the story is generic, but how the choices affect the playthrus, is unmatched (as far as I know).
I will keep an eye on the game, bc I do think there is a fun game in it. When I just dont care about a game, I dont write that much ^^.
So good luck for the next updates - and maybe review your arcs, choices and character development - and/or try to see what a player sees without the knowledge you guys have about what is happening and will happen in the future.
That an interesting analysis of the scene, I shall offer some explanations for you.
1) She is a delivery girl. She does not have time to eat with a customer.
Fair enough, but she is also a student. She does not have the willpower to resist Rose who is the dean of her academy. Rose is a person that holds a position of great power over her.
2) They spit on her at the mall and she is working without showering before that?
The girl spitting on her is an explanation as to how she has caught the virus. Of coarse she washed herself off already as you can
not see any spit visible on her body. However sometimes when a person has been violated they can feel dirty even after they wash them self. For instance if you ask a rape victim who has taken a shower after they raped "Do you feel clean yet?" Many would respond along the lines of... No... I do not feel clean. Being spit on =/= being raped not trying to diminish women who have been raped or their experience, but using it as an example of how people can physically look and be one way, but feel another because of a trauma.
3) The highly intelligent and nice Rose let her shower during her worktime? - she wants her to get fired right?
Rose values the girls mental health over her employment status. Besides it's getting late and she was the last customer of the night.
4) Then the whole "oh she has no towels"-trope. I dont know where you guys haver your towels, mine are always in the bath or the washing kitchen (dunno if thats the correct english term ^^ - the room with the mashines you know
) - And there are ALWAYS towels in the bathroom. At least 3-4 ...
Perhaps it is a trope, but look at it from a writers perspective. Girl is in shower. Want a character to go into the shower area with her. Give a reason to do so. "Here is a towel" comes to the top of that list. Other option could be "Here are some clothes" or "The building is burning down we have to escape!"... Well, I wanted her back in her uniform after because she is still working, and didn't want to have to burn Rose's house down to see them titties... So went with the towel option
5) You know you can just open a door a bit and hide everything but your head right? - Maybe Alice is stupid, but I guess she understands how doors work.
This is very true, but players get to see less titties then... So we toss them a bone eh? Maybe she thought it would be naughty to give Rose a little eyeful an tease her?
6) The highly intelligent and nice Rose understands the Pandemic and she KNOWS that her student is not vaccinated (as said earlier, she knows all the health stats of her students). So when she sees her in the bath it is OBVIOUS that she will freak out and put her down - yeah ... no. - Now she even puts her into a slave relationship. I dont care what Mind controlling plot there will be - this is so out of character.
And instead of a that you could have made a fitting "sex" scene where she comforts her, and tries to "help" her in that situation with her exposure... something "reasonable" like that. Could have been a nice scene "Oh Alice - I ... had no idea... " ... you know it ... a bit awkward, a bit sexy ... something in line with the character.
Under normal circumstances assuming this event happened a few days earlier prior to "The dream" Rose would have behaved very differently, and had an entirely different reaction to the circumstances. Yes, this is "out of character for Rose" you have a keen eye that many people have noticed this. It's not just Rose in Rose's body anymore. Rose has let a lust demon enter her soul. Had you chose not to go check on the girl you would not have provoked the demon inside of Rose to come out and play. Yet Rose still has an extremely high level of willpower in spite of this demon that hides inside of her. It took all of Rose's super willpower to even give the girl an out with "come back tomorrow and you are off the hook".
Why did you stop numbering!? ugg... I continue numbers for you
7) This is probably what my problem is. There are (currently) no real characters in this game. Currently they are all just stereotypes (as far as we know them) - and Rose is meant to be a nice, intelligent, caring and a bit shy (not so sure on that part) person. At least that is what the game tells us (how others talk about her). And then we get this bathroom scene? Maybe this is because I played her so nice up to that point that it does not fit.
The good old "red headed demon possessed smoking vegan psychiatrist dean" stereotype trope character... It's practically as common in big hollywood blockbusters as the "Magical Negro", and "Manic Pixie Dream Girl".
8) And why does it affect the virus what the MC is doing? The virus triggers when we decide to enter the bathroom, but not when we dont do that? - I guess she still masturbates because she stands in front of the toilet? But why dont we see that?
This virus goes back into remission after a person cums. Once it has woken up 2 things will put it to sleep.
a) Knock the person out (or at least beat them up a bit if not knocking them out) b) The person cums
If for instance Rose noticed that the virus was effecting Alice, and then chose to tie her to the bed and deny her from masturbating but didn't beat the crap out of her either... She could just sit there beside the infected person for hours listening to alice talk in latin and look at her purple eyes. The brain must be reset some how.
9) You have to choose what the player will see - do we only see what the MC sees or will we witness other scenes too? Then you have to show them all the time. When you show her masturbating and the MC is outside and cant see anything - and cant hear her, because we know the door is more or less soundproof, because of the towel scene, then you have to show it when she is not going there.
For the most part the player will only see what Rose sees. Mostly... However, sometimes additional information and additional scenes outside of Rose will be given. So sometimes the player may be more aware of the scene than Rose is when making a decision for Rose.
10) And at least I want to have a choice with the sub/dom thing. The choice here feels bad, because it is way to disconnected. I have to pick her as my slave because I cared and check on her? ... sorry ... that does not feel right to me.
There are a great many choices already. The following morning when Alice comes to the office there will once again be a choice. Why do you care if she is just the steroetype as you said before? Hmmm maybe she is not just a sterotype afterall... Someone told a fib.
11) I guess for a lot of ppl this will be a fine game, because the renders are quite good. But I get annoyed by thing like I mentioned above.
People like different things, and take different perceptions of situations.
12) I need characters and development that makes sense. A good example for that is GGGB. Even when it can escalate big time, it felt reasonable. You choices mattered and you understood them. When you choose to take drugs that has consequences - Even some exotic combination pf path work quite good. Not all of them and there can be problems with extremes - but in general the game had a good progression of the MC. Yeah the story is generic, but how the choices affect the playthrus, is unmatched (as far as I know).
I love GGGB. That is one of my favorite games. I couldn't praise Eva Kiss any higher for the work that was put into that game. In spite of how inspirational that game is Damaged Goods is not Good Girl Gone Bad. We are something different. We are telling a different story here. I get the comparison because because in both cases there is a pretty red head female protagonist with a lot of choices, and a lot of routes but I assure you we are different game than GGGB. You even dis eva by calling that game "generic" shame on you! Get out of my thread go over to hers and apologize with an "I'm not worthy" for even thinking her game is generic don't come back here until after that is done. Eva fuckin rocks and don't you forget it!
13) I will keep an eye on the game, bc I do think there is a fun game in it. When I just dont care about a game, I dont write that much ^^.
I didn't expect otherwise from someone who wrote a book for me
14) So good luck for the next updates - and maybe review your arcs, choices and character development - and/or try to see what a player sees without the knowledge you guys have about what is happening and will happen in the future.
A lot of thought has been put in. a lot more thought will be put in. Thanks for the good luck, what are you still doing here you owe eva an apology. Peace
