VN Ren'Py Abandoned Decisions Made [v0.1b] [TearStar]

[Bobber Tail]

I put a patch later this day. I don't know why it is bugged out this hard since I did fix Melissa's Diary yesterday... Danielle should have been also. That's what you get for having two separate folders in game...

About English: This should be a proofread version by two fellow members. I can't proofread myself and that's why was a big delay since first preview version and first real version.
About the saves: I saw a post where they said how to use compatible. Problem is: there were changed in the game's structure. Many objects have been changed. For example: Quests were in the game in preview also many things but it was denied. Quests were a single, defined objects. They are now: default, queue objects.
Preview: define homeQuest = 1 (preview version)
Now: default homeQuest = [1] (0.1a and above)
Because of the keyword 'default' the quest wouldn't trigger up on load and cause game crashes ever time a quest triggered.

About prologue: I could do a better backstory for next release. Also will fix Hannah at station.

Still About Males: Sorry... But if you see my next game in future games remember that my games won't have any male routes. Also: I don't sorry. Last two weeks while 'proofreaders' worked I've played games with female prot tag which were utter catastrophe. It was like this: rape, gangbang rape and humility. I don't want to follow this line.

Many things were supposed to be fixed (some of them not by me like proofreading), I don't think the next real update will come soon enough.

I'm playing 0.1b and it was a bunch of clicking IGNORE to get past the diary. Some of the play is confusing and Danielle is never there. The walk-through is rough, but I guess I got the jist of it.
You need more renders early on, so it can complicate events down the road. There was a bunch of errors with the wardrobe event with Melissa where she was flipping back and forth on the red.
Otherwise, rather smooth play, but when room links like that are used, they usually have images of who is there at that time.

 

[Ennoch]

I don't understand, there was a new update yesterday but now it's abandoned?

Read spoiler in post two above yours.

 

[Rebeldad]

So now it is abandoned? wow that went bad fast.
I liked it.. but guess it is time to move on.
Ah see someone posted about it.. sigh.. to bad..

 

[Lt. Aldo Raine]

Trying is always better than not trying. If you get disheartened after getting partway into a project, write down what you thought could go wrong compared to what you think is going wrong, compared to what outside people think isn't quite right. Everyone has a first, and everyone's firsts suck. Hopefully, in new and different ways, as we as a community learn. The worst result from a project isn't failure, it's failure that doesn't get built upon. Everyone has setbacks, things they struggle with. Whether you feel up to giving it another go, strengthened by the lessons newly learned, or if you can communicate to others embarking on similar journeys some of the pitfalls that caused you to stumble, it was not a waste.

I've seen quite a few projects posted here with wonky English. Some of them were even by native speakers. I would recommend against searching for one great proofreader; instead, try to find a bunch of willing people and send them small chunks of text (basically, a screenful) at a time. More people = more resiliency; Smaller chunks = less overwhelming + faster turnaround. Proper editing demands a close cooperation between the writer and the editor, and that requires cultivating a relationship over time, rather than jumping from 0 to 60. Proofreading, on the other hand, focuses on each sentence one at a time, and having one proofreader help you with one screen and another with the next won't be that bad.

Best of luck! Whether you keep improving this, or try something new, stay optimistic!

I love this reply mate. You my friend, are a well rounded individual in my opinon.

Good luck @TearStar . I think you went about this the right way. If you plan to use this experience to positively help your next project please send me a pm so that I can offer what little help im capable of.

 

[M4t7theNinja]

Is this actually abandoned?

 

[Lt. Aldo Raine]

Is this actually abandoned?

according to the developer yes

 

[TearStar]

Official Announcement (of sort) -> It's abandoned. Reasons below.

• Last month I had really hard time to find a proofreader but according to players
  English is still make it unplayable. I can't make a 'novel' without a language. From the three languages of I speak at least a basic level (according to players still), English is a no go, German which I'm not confident in (though I learned more years but also writing in German would cause many players to skip) and my native language which I don't anybody would understand and most of you didn't even heard of. Linguistic barries are here.
  
• Base core of the game is broken (Sandbox mode & Stuff)
• Backstory is lacking the story (It's an easy fix)
• Characters are dull (both model and personality but I guess some people read personalities instantly)
  Not that it matters but I have a big asset limitations that I can use for them. Mostly used 'free' assets.
• To fix it I have to delete: 2-3 characters. That kills the whole 'Season Two' plot and also kills the mystery of the 'Blackroses'.

There maybe more but fixing all above is a new game. Even from out of the skeleton of this game. Nothing would remain the same as this one started or also: save games would not be possible again because I rip of bones from the skeletons. I don't know how could I salvage from my lacking English a next game though.
I'm not really sure why I got now the Game Developer tag but it feels unnecessary.

 

[Dilettante]

Actually, english is not nearly as bad here like in many games i played. I'm used to playing\translating "completely broken language" games which can make you insane, and the ones containing multiple languages in text (bugs). Many of games by native english speakers (as they claim), have literally bazillion mistakes without proofreading. It never bother me much because if i can still read that and make sense of it, it's okay for me. I'm not picky. I don't expect good english in these games because in my practice it's not a thing you should expect. Yeah, i can say the story is rushed. And there is bugs, i'm not really a fan of sandbox either etc. But i can't agree about "my english making game unplayable", "english is a no go". It's not as unreadable as some claim (i played preview too), and mistakes is not killing the dialogue. That's also a fixable thing if you find people willing to help. Without criticizing game aspects. Just proofreading text. Models\renders is not that bad either for a beginner, i've seen far worse. Nor are their personalities or backstory is "laughable", the problem lies with rushed part. It's all still salvageable imo without needing to delete 2-3 characters and whole plot.

You main problem is few people here having extremely high expectations after playing so called "AAA popular porn games". With superb graphics, zillion sexscenes, animation etc. Experienced devs. In my opinion, this kind of feedback is not "constructive" for a beginner. Also, genre. If it was corruption straight game with slutty MC, reaction would've been different. As it would've be different if MC was male.

 

[EvilMonkey]

Official Announcement (of sort) -> It's abandoned. Reasons below.

• Last month I had really hard time to find a proofreader but according to players
  English is still make it unplayable. I can't make a 'novel' without a language. From the three languages of I speak at least a basic level (according to players still), English is a no go, German which I'm not confident in (though I learned more years but also writing in German would cause many players to skip) and my native language which I don't anybody would understand and most of you didn't even heard of. Linguistic barries are here.
  
• Base core of the game is broken (Sandbox mode & Stuff)
• Backstory is lacking the story (It's an easy fix)
• Characters are dull (both model and personality but I guess some people read personalities instantly)
  Not that it matters but I have a big asset limitations that I can use for them. Mostly used 'free' assets.
• To fix it I have to delete: 2-3 characters. That kills the whole 'Season Two' plot and also kills the mystery of the 'Blackroses'.

There maybe more but fixing all above is a new game. Even from out of the skeleton of this game. Nothing would remain the same as this one started or also: save games would not be possible again because I rip of bones from the skeletons. I don't know how could I salvage from my lacking English a next game though.
I'm not really sure why I got now the Game Developer tag but it feels unnecessary.

I haven't played this game and only hopped into the thread because I noticed "v0.1b - Abandoned" and was really intrigued why it went belly up so fast. I have one thing to say to you @TearStar, you can't make everyone happy so don't try. So many people get caught up on making something for other people and take criticism too seriously. I'm guilty of it, and I'm sure 90% of the population is as well but you should be making your art/game/story/creation for yourself, not anyone else. The people that are vocal will be those with a passionate opinion, either a high opinion or a low opinion, it will always be polarised like that and might hurt your own opinion. What I want to say though is that you can work on things, change things, improve things or even make them worse but you have to put in the work to get better. If you give up, this will be the end of it, this will be the best you did and you'll always remember that, so you owe it to yourself to try to do better and just try. Finish it, make something that you can look back on and say, "I did that". You may not even like it but it will be finished and you will have tried and then you can try again and maybe make something you like better and that will be something worth remembering.

And if you really need a proof reader, who is somewhat adept with English then I will volunteer, if you choose to continue the game.

 

[Olivia_V]

I concur with the English here not being as bad as others think. I like the concept of the game. Shame its been abandoned.

 

[MOISTNESS]

Spoiler

You don't have permission to view the spoiler content. Log in or register now.

Not a big poster but actually felt bad when I saw it was abandoned after playing the preview and now this version, especially after reading WHY you abandoned it, which I think is a great disservice to the community and more so to yourself as a creator/writer/developer.

You didn't fail at anything. I think the game is wonderful and has some serious potential. You will never create something great as long as you are trying to satisfy every criticism; THAT way lay failure because no one can make EVERYONE happy.

The only way your creation can truly be great is if you listen to yourself, make something YOU enjoy, stick to your vision and let those with whom your work "clicks" enjoy the window into your mind; taking criticism as one-off opinions, accepting or disregarding as you see fit.

Remember; ALL criticism is merely the opinion of that individual and of no one else.

The best games are those that stand out because the authors stuck to their visions creating gems in a field of DMD clones, etc.

I guess I am a little biased as this games premise is pretty much my ideal scenario and I would HATE for it to go the way of so many promising games because you took negative criticism as a consensus of the community.

I, for one, hope that you do NOT abandon the game, don't bother with trying to satisfy EVERY bit of critical opinion and make the game YOU want to play; because I can kind of see what you are doing, where you are going and sure as hell want to go along with you.

Just my 2

 

[Trasher2018]

In the end, the decision is probably the right one. It is very exhausting because the English is just not good. But this is (as already mentioned) the least problem and the easiest to fix. I only speak German and English and I'm not that sensitive about the English texts, just because my English isn't perfect either, but if it bothers me it's always a bad sign. *g*

The characters just don't act believable and the story isn't believable either. That wouldn't be a problem if it was supposed to be a very wacky story overall, but here we try to stay realistic and unfortunately that doesn't work out.

But don't despair and give up. Rework the basic story or think about something new and give a summary to some friends, acquaintances or users here. Then you should get a feeling if you are on the right track.

As far as the characters' actions are concerned, there are several types. Either realistic (halfway) or porn-style (similar to this game). In my opinion, the former is much more popular, because there are already enough stupid characters. ^^

Hopefully you'll stay on track and we'll see a new try or a revised version of this.

 

[TearStar]

@Trasher2018
What you wrote here summarizes the whole problem of the game and does seem fair. Like I've said before: Problem occurs in linguistic barriers. I could write in German and I could find easily native German speakers (I've met 3-4 German guys/gals who liked the game even though the flaws) who proofread for me but doing it so makes it: slower to create content, makes it people want to skip the whole thing since they do speak German and overall translating is a whole new task for the community.

Spoiler

You don't have permission to view the spoiler content. Log in or register now.

The story supposed to be a bit off the ground but I failed to do that in a proper way. I did not give up creating game idea.

Spoiler

You don't have permission to view the spoiler content. Log in or register now.

I just altered it in many ways. I hope I achieved most of the flaws but it does create a whole bigger backstory which is kinda unfinished yet but there is nothing in it later.

I've considered this story a half dead project but not entirely. Maybe I'll do with the new game parallel if I have a writer's block on one, I can easily do the other. I'm not going to do Patreon stuff at all. So being on deadline is not an issue. I can always use a tumblr - which I already kinda had - to post some progress.

That new game is fairly close to a Preview version. A very small snippet and 'kinda plot twist' at the end. Before I send out new game I read it through once again because I tend to forget the verb after "don't" very often and stuff x)

For some teasers and for 'free advertisement' here is a picture.

Spoiler

You don't have permission to view the spoiler content. Log in or register now.

 

[Axer Hell]

*Sees tag*

Looks like a decision was made.

 

[yaxir]

@Trasher2018
What you wrote here summarizes the whole problem of the game and does seem fair. Like I've said before: Problem occurs in linguistic barriers. I could write in German and I could find easily native German speakers (I've met 3-4 German guys/gals who liked the game even though the flaws) who proofread for me but doing it so makes it: slower to create content, makes it people want to skip the whole thing since they do speak German and overall translating is a whole new task for the community.

Spoiler

You don't have permission to view the spoiler content. Log in or register now.

The story supposed to be a bit off the ground but I failed to do that in a proper way. I did not give up creating game idea.

Spoiler

You don't have permission to view the spoiler content. Log in or register now.

I just altered it in many ways. I hope I achieved most of the flaws but it does create a whole bigger backstory which is kinda unfinished yet but there is nothing in it later.

I've considered this story a half dead project but not entirely. Maybe I'll do with the new game parallel if I have a writer's block on one, I can easily do the other. I'm not going to do Patreon stuff at all. So being on deadline is not an issue. I can always use a tumblr - which I already kinda had - to post some progress.

That new game is fairly close to a Preview version. A very small snippet and 'kinda plot twist' at the end. Before I send out new game I read it through once again because I tend to forget the verb after "don't" very often and stuff x)

For some teasers and for 'free advertisement' here is a picture.

Spoiler

You don't have permission to view the spoiler content. Log in or register now.

will you make another game, with similar tags as this ?

what's ur next project ?

 

[TearStar]

will you make another game, with similar tags as this ?

what's ur next project ?

It's not a secret: Yes and it is currently under development. Chapter 1 script is ready. I'm at a point where I need to add 25-30 renders (approx.) number of renders where can be a cliffhanger to create a release and then let it rest a bit (it's under dev. since this was abandoned). Chapter 1 is long. With slow reading it's 1,5 hour perhaps? Problem remains: Proofreading.

It's also not a secret: Nothing changed but I added sci-fi as theme. You can also choose your gender 'female' or 'futa' so that's an addition. Main protagonist can be seen on my avatar.

Only problem is I always want to do better on the next, releasing without proofread would be a step back. If I find maybe I can split up where I'm currently at so you can read for a time what I created.

 

[ive_got-problems]

It's not a secret: Yes and it is currently under development. Chapter 1 script is ready. I'm at a point where I need to add 25-30 renders (approx.) number of renders where can be a cliffhanger to create a release and then let it rest a bit (it's under dev. since this was abandoned). Chapter 1 is long. With slow reading it's 1,5 hour perhaps? Problem remains: Proofreading.

It's also not a secret: Nothing changed but I added sci-fi as theme. You can also choose your gender 'female' or 'futa' so that's an addition. Main protagonist can be seen on my avatar.

Only problem is I always want to do better on the next, releasing without proofread would be a step back. If I find maybe I can split up where I'm currently at so you can read for a time what I created.

I didn't play this but it looks great! Can't wait for your new game ^_^

 

[none of yo business]

WTF I liked this, i was even thinking about providing any help I can offer, even with proofreading if possible cause I notice you don't even use Patreon, guess I came too late! Really some of the criticisms over here are ridiculous.
But give me a chance maybe with the new one? Just message me here if you want my help, I'll do it when I can.
RIP

 

[TearStar]

WTF I liked this, i was even thinking about providing any help I can offer, even with proofreading if possible cause I notice you don't even use Patreon, guess I came too late! Really some of the criticisms over here are ridiculous.
But give me a chance maybe with the new one? Just message me here if you want my help, I'll do it when I can.
RIP

2 months late actually. But I already found 3 proofreaders now. I'm a bit actually behind rendering processes. (My PC has issues and my laptop is suitable as a second level process only).

Some of the were right. I actually have an idea how to revive this series but there will be a lot changes. I'm not sure I even detailed that here.

I gathered them into a discord channel still required some time to make it right though. When I feel like I'm close on release or when it's released I might make it open too. Since I need some platform to inform ppl about progress. Or at least I want to.

I don't want my game to behind a paywall. That's the first I don't use Patreon. Secondly: it make me do promises what I can't always keep. Thirdly: I don't really think my game hit a level of quality yet (being impatient about certain things make me rush). Fourth: To stop piracy give ppl something that's better.

I need still around 20 renders to be at a cliffhanger to be able to release. Also: I want to give time to proofreaders. Good work pays off but requires time.

 

[none of yo business]

2 months late actually. But I already found 3 proofreaders now. I'm a bit actually behind rendering processes. (My PC has issues and my laptop is suitable as a second level process only).

Some of the were right. I actually have an idea how to revive this series but there will be a lot changes. I'm not sure I even detailed that here.

I gathered them into a discord channel still required some time to make it right though. When I feel like I'm close on release or when it's released I might make it open too. Since I need some platform to inform ppl about progress. Or at least I want to.

I don't want my game to behind a paywall. That's the first I don't use Patreon. Secondly: it make me do promises what I can't always keep. Thirdly: I don't really think my game hit a level of quality yet (being impatient about certain things make me rush). Fourth: To stop piracy give ppl something that's better.

I need still around 20 renders to be at a cliffhanger to be able to release. Also: I want to give time to proofreaders. Good work pays off but requires time.

^ I am Commander Shepard and this is my favorite message on the forums! I honestly really hope this returns, even if somehow changed and still not for everybody, but I liked the story. Really good to hear you're getting stuff done at least and have some little helpers this time around! Best of luck in your efforts!