Hey, if you need any help with copy editing (grammar, punctuation ect) I'd be happy to help - for free! Just don't expect me to be fast, lol.
- Thread starter X0R
- Start date
- Oct 30, 2019
- 2,191
- 10,439
Yep, this one is looking good. Only 2 setbacks, some engrish here and there but not that bothersome and of course the crawling text no matter your setting on the text speed slider. Had to remove all text speed from the script to have the classic speed.
Aside from those 2 things, a solid beginning with a good MC and good girls so far. I'll be watching this one
Aside from those 2 things, a solid beginning with a good MC and good girls so far. I'll be watching this one
Doesn’t look like incest is on the table, no worries it doesn’t have to have it. It’s just that Jilla was looking mighty fine to me. I enjoyed the game though and hope it works out.
- May 29, 2018
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Nice we can play a man and not another smoothface hairless 5ft twink 
- Apr 19, 2019
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Playing this VN atm. For now i wanna mention A LOT of typos. Will write more complex post after playthrough.
Finished exactly in 2 minutes after writing. LOL. Dev should really keep going! I liked MC a lot. Renders are a bit grainy but it's okay. Enviroment looks really nice! I believe it should be a great story so keep working!
Finished exactly in 2 minutes after writing. LOL. Dev should really keep going! I liked MC a lot. Renders are a bit grainy but it's okay. Enviroment looks really nice! I believe it should be a great story so keep working!
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- Jun 24, 2019
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YES!! Finally a MC that doesn't look like a complete dillhole with some goofball hair style an I just turned 12 look lol
- Sep 21, 2020
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- Apr 28, 2017
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No wonder the MC looked so familiar. It's Chace Crawford haha
- Jan 24, 2018
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The "life recap" was kinda annoying and felt like a big waste of time, real pain to go through, imo. Rather have a big screen of text instead of going through that.
I didn't really play that much but it seemed to get better after that.
I didn't really play that much but it seemed to get better after that.
- Feb 5, 2020
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Hmm not bad. The MC is mature, intelligent, and isn't constantly perving on every girl that he comes across. The whole mental health and anger issue themes do hit very close to home. Could definitely use a decent proofreader, since some sentences were very hard to understand. The renders look great and could tell there was effort making each scene.
Consider getting a proofreader and not forcing relationships/kinks on the player, and this game will be great. There's a lot of potential here.
Consider getting a proofreader and not forcing relationships/kinks on the player, and this game will be great. There's a lot of potential here.
- May 22, 2017
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Correct, in this case that cps setting is added as a text style literally to every beginning of a dialog line, so it overrides all possible stylings and settings set anywhere in the game.
The only cure is to remove these tags physically from the script or use a built-in text filter that Ren'Py has, as I did. Fortunately, Ren'Py has such a feature.
Ren'Py has cps style tags to create this kind of visual effect with fixed cps for a few words somewhere inside a sentence or a few lines maximum to emphasize it somehow. It's not meant to be added to every single line of text.
It would be a dick move by the dev when done deliberately, but many beginner devs are unaware of many things about a game engine they are using, Ren'Py in this case. So they tend to use "microscopes" as "hammers" to hammer "nails" into the "wall" they are building, just because a microscope is heavy enough, can be held in a hand and can do the job, not because it's the correct tool.
It's not even the worst kind of misuse of a Ren'Py feature I've seen.
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- Jul 21, 2020
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- May 29, 2018
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You better copyright this.Nice we can play a man and not another Smoothface hairless 5ft twink
- Aug 21, 2018
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Really needs a proofreader, because the foundation is solid. But the Engrish is a problem. I mean there are alot worse games out there on that front, but the rest looks quite good and it is just hold back by that.
All in all it is a nice intro.
All in all it is a nice intro.
- Nov 20, 2017
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that is one ugly and annoying mc face lol
- Jun 5, 2020
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I damn near fell out of my seat when it said 30 year old lolNice we can play a man and not another smoothface hairless 5ft twink
Not sure if it's already been mentioned, but I recall that "derealization" is an actual mental disorder that makes you always feel like you're in a dream observing yourself and others from outside your body. It's a problem that happens mostly to people who have experienced something very traumatic. This game kind of reminds me of another new game called Fallen Roads, because in both you make choices that guide the mc to take either a more positive or negative attitude towards their recovery from mental disorders. Also, in both games, an old love interest seems to be at least one of the triggers of the psychological trauma.
Both developers seem to be intelligent, talented creators. I agree you can tell this developer is not an English speaker and Derealization would benefit greatly from proofreading. Regardless, it's a good start and I'm interested in seeing how the story develops.
- Jun 12, 2017
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I'm sure I have already mentioned it, but the mere fact U can play the role of an adult MC rather than another 18 y/o brat returning home to bang his mom, is enough for me to give it a shot.
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WTF am I being warned about? This is LITERALLY WHAT I WANT!
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