- Nov 13, 2021
- 1,237
- 3,382
This game leaves me torn. The sound design is good, the girls look cute, and the writing is competent in terms of language and grammar (and there's a lot of it already), which makes me WANT to like it, but that's all the game has going for it at the moment, and it has several glaring problems that just get me annoyed and frustrated:
Minor Plot Hole:
A plot issue I noticed: Ume specifically says there's no lower limit to club sizes because the school only has ~60 students total, which completely hamstrings the entirety of the Nadeko storyline about the track club needing to be 'safe', as well as Yoshie's reason for staying in it. If the club has no lower limit to its size, why would it ever not be 'safe'?
SUMMARY:
- There's no feeling of connection to any of the girls.
- Suzu is one of the worst VN characters I've ever seen, and the game is worse for her being in it.
- The conflict is all contrived and driven by characters other than the MC being intentionally non-communicative.
- The sandbox mechanic is 100% unnecessary and actively detracts from the game's pacing and story just by existing.
- The player has no choices that mean anything yet. I don't usually mind kinetic novels if the story is good, but this manages to somehow be a kinetic sandbox, with the worst aspects of both of those.
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Minor Plot Hole:
A plot issue I noticed: Ume specifically says there's no lower limit to club sizes because the school only has ~60 students total, which completely hamstrings the entirety of the Nadeko storyline about the track club needing to be 'safe', as well as Yoshie's reason for staying in it. If the club has no lower limit to its size, why would it ever not be 'safe'?
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SUMMARY:
- Remove the sandbox and bond grind entirely. It adds nothing, and makes the game actively worse by being present. Removing it currently and all repeatable events would directly improve the game.
- Skip all 'empty' time periods instead through transition screens (e.g. "The next few days pass without incident. That Friday..."). Again, this will preserve your pacing where the current game obliterates it.
- Pick whether Suzu is meant to be an antagonist, a normal LI, or a femdom LI (who acts like an antagonist).
- If she is an antagonist, remove her bond stat and rewrite her so the MC and others stop dismissing her petty bitchy bullshit attitude as acceptable 'sass', and make the other girls more overtly hostile to her.
- If she is an LI, completely rewrite her so she's got even the tiniest hint of sympathetic behavior, and isn't just one-note petty bitchy bullshit hostility.
- If she is a femdom LI, she can probably continue as-is, but that needs to be made clear, like in a Planned Tags section in the OP of this thread, so we can rightfully Ignore the thread for good and write the game off.
- If Suzu is not rewritten to be an LI, Sayuri must be rewritten to NOT be one, since as she currently exists, she contributes nothing and just lets Suzu shit all over the MC without complaint.
- Fix plot hole about no-minimum-membership for clubs vs Nadeko/track club storyline.
