Ren'Py Divine Dawn [v0.30] [Cryswar]

[BlindBigot]

See, I really want to agree because Metatron is just the sweetest thing while Sam is just the best kind of idiot... But honestly, the writing is so good that I'm kinda sold on everyone Hell, even the contributing atmosphere is really nice, that damn tune I can't get out of my head that plays at camp is fantastic.

I don't see harem tag and dev notes state that it's only a slight possibility of harem being added, so as they say "Hope for the best, prepare for the worst".
This doesn't mean that I will not go through multiple playthroughs for each of the love interests, regardless of harem being a thing or not.
Also, I have a fetish for angels.

 

[Cryswar]

See, I really want to agree because Metatron is just the sweetest thing while Sam is just the best kind of idiot... But honestly, the writing is so good that I'm kinda sold on everyone Hell, even the contributing atmosphere is really nice, that damn tune I can't get out of my head that plays at camp is fantastic.

I'm always glad to hear people enjoy the music, I really enjoyed setting it up. Also glad you like everyone!

I don't see harem tag and dev notes state that it's only a slight possibility of harem being added, so as they say "Hope for the best, prepare for the worst".
This doesn't mean that I will not go through multiple playthroughs for each of the love interests, regardless of harem being a thing or not.
Also, I have a fetish for angels.

Angels are the best, this is true.

The harem thing is sort of ???? territory - I don't have an issue with people seeing as many girls' content as possible, which by default is kind of a harem. That said, some of the later-game plot choices will lock you into/out of some girls, and I have a vague idea of sorta Fire Emblem-ish epilogues for characters/small groups of characters as additions to the endings. So I'm hesitant to call it a true harem, if that makes any sense.

 

[zARRR]

I'm always glad to hear people enjoy the music, I really enjoyed setting it up. Also glad you like everyone!


Angels are the best, this is true.

The harem thing is sort of ???? territory - I don't have an issue with people seeing as many girls' content as possible, which by default is kind of a harem. That said, some of the later-game plot choices will lock you into/out of some girls, and I have a vague idea of sorta Fire Emblem-ish epilogues for characters/small groups of characters as additions to the endings. So I'm hesitant to call it a true harem, if that makes any sense.

I generally don't like harem but replaying in different ways and routes it's always fun, especially in this game.

I really can see the Fire Emblem-ish epilogues, especially for some characters, will those epilogues be modified by some choices? Just a question

 

[Cryswar]

I generally don't like harem but replaying in different ways and routes it's always fun, especially in this game.

I really can see the Fire Emblem-ish epilogues, especially for some characters, will those epilogues be modified by some choices? Just a question

Yeah, that's the idea. If you decide to stick with Metatron there would be a few possible smaller epilogues for her. That said, we're a ways away from endings haha.

 

[juanito]

In the first morning after, the conversation seems to imply as if we chose Sarah that night even if we didn't.
Also, I would expect affection to be greater than 0 when the adventure part starts depending on choices

 

[Cryswar]

In the first morning after, the conversation seems to imply as if we chose Sarah that night even if we didn't.
Also, I would expect affection to be greater than 0 when the adventure part starts depending on choices

Thank you for the reports! I thought I fixed that first one a while ago, but apparently not lol.

The latter can be changed for sure, affection/trust were added after the house stuff and it didn't really occur to me to retroactively add it.

 

[BlindBigot]

Thank you for the reports! I thought I fixed that first one a while ago, but apparently not lol.

The latter can be changed for sure, affection/trust were added after the house stuff and it didn't really occur to me to retroactively add it.

Is there any alternative way to spend my stat and trait points after leveling up? I'm not a coward so I always go forward and get more and more exp, but the fact that MC's stats remain the same (except for hp) makes his survival chances plummet with each difficulty spike.

 

[Cryswar]

Is there any alternative way to spend my stat and trait points after leveling up? I'm not a coward so I always go forward and get more and more exp, but the fact that MC's stats remain the same (except for hp) makes his survival chances plummet with each difficuly spike.

Shortly before the temple boss, or any time you're in camp, you can visit the "Progress" menu to allocate stats, traits, abilities, etc. You can also set stats to auto-grow if you don't want to mess with them again.

Think of it as something like the Dark Souls bonfires.

 

[BlindBigot]

Estus flask, yeah boi

 

[BlindBigot]

Cryswar, I gathered some more typos. Can you update me on whether was I right about them or not?

 

[Therod]

Are the character sprites original or not?

 

[MoarDakka123]

Are the character sprites original or not?

You already got the answer to that and even acknowledged it.

 

[Cryswar]

Cryswar, I gathered some more typos. Can you update me on whether was I right about them or not?

6. Think shouldn't be capitalized, good catch. The "Iiiiiii" part is meant to convey her drawing out the word.

7. I'll look into it, not sure why it'd be happening

8. Good catch! Fixed.

9. Correct guess, fixed. Speech to text doesn't really understand the difference between as and has sometimes.

10. Fixed.

11. Fixed.

12. I couldn't find any lowercase Sofs, but fixed on the Soph. I was probably experimenting with using F vs Ph sounds since it can be transliterated either way. Ein Soph Aur sounds better than Ohr Ein Sof/Ein Sof Ohr for example, but Sephirot sounds a LOT like the final fantasy villain whereas Sefirot sounds a bit more unique, IMO. May change them in the future, people generally seem to like the Ph sound better in polls.

13. Fixed.

14. It looks like Renpy got real fucking creative with recompiling parts of that scene when building the game, I'll try to figure out what the fuck happened there and fix it.

Thank you immensely for the feedback! It's incredibly helpful that you specified the scenes and exact errors as well, it lets me fix them much faster.

I use speech to text for most writing, so there are some weird errors. I proofread and run it through Grammarly but shit still slips through lol. Thank you for taking the time to list so many!

Sorry for the response delay, between a tornado, (unrelated) home renovation stuff, and other irl stuff I've been extremely busy this week.

 

[Therod]

You already got the answer to that and even acknowledged it.

I don’t remember the answer.

 

[BlindBigot]

Was Ina'nis created under inspiration of certain Ninomae?

 

[Cryswar]

Was Ina'nis created under inspiration of certain Ninomae?

The name is indeed a bit of an homage, though in fairness it is Latin and their culture has a fair bit of Latin in it.

Her design/character/etc aren't in any way related to the goddess of WAH.

more Finana if anything

 

[Bingoogus]

Man, just tried this game and gave up before the end of the prologue. The sheer amount of waffling on, taking 20 text boxes to say what could've been done in 1 drove me to the point of actually shouting at my screen "get to the fucking point!". No game worth playing does that to you, so good luck with your game, it's not for me.

 

[track989]

I only played 0.14a which is a couple of patches ago so sorry if this feedback is no longer relevant, but I'm guessing it will be. I'm not sure I'm a fan of the way the content is gated in terms of affection/progress with each character. I liked the prologue - making choices between two things to say, which character to talk to, etc - but I'm not a fan of a system where you can effectively "grind" all the relationships up to max as soon as you hit the open world, or even up to xyz level max and then this being extended further as the game progresses. It's immersion-breaking to think that these trust/relationship plotlines would progress just camping out on the road, and it feels grindy to stay there going from "just met" to "ride or die bros forever" with the entire party when you're still at the equivalent party of your journey to like, idk, everyone just left Rivendell yesterday and is trying to remember which one is Aragorn and which one is Boromir

Most h games just force you along a railroaded plot and maybe let you say yes or no to each character, but I'm assuming you want way more interaction and choice than that

MGD does it a similar(ish) way to you but I think it makes more sense for NPCs; you reach them sequentially in a fixed location that is a dungeon you need to keep going back to to train, if you want to get to know them better you keep going back there, fighting your way to them, and fighting/speaking to them - rarely a rinse-repeat of clicking "Talk" "Rest" "Talk" until the trust number goes up, so it feels (IMO) more real. It's also often gated behind progress like beating them in a powered up mode, passing a difficult skill check, progressing further in the game, or completing a fleshed out subplot a la Venefica.

Many of those things above don't necessarily work so well in the context of a party of companions rather than NPCs around the world... but anyway, personally I'd rather see the content 100% dictated by progress through the game and/or story choices. It seems like a waste to write all these great scenes and then just let the player chew through the lot of them in the first 30 mins of the game. The potential for immersion, emotion, narrative etc to mix in to what's happening is much higher if things are happening in the context of meaningful events in the game, not just infinitely repeatable camping. Also, Ashley best girl, but if she has like 10 scenes already, it might be hard to keep them feeling fresh and varied if you wanted another 10+ scenes throughout the main game's plot!

BTW, while it's occasionally a bit too packed with memes and fourth wall breaking jokes, I really like the writing in this game. And the only reason I think it's a bit too joke-heavy is that I think the writing is good enough to stand on its own, so it doesn't need as many of the meta-jokes/anachronisms, it can present itself on its own terms

 

[BlindBigot]

Oh, now thinking on it... That would actually benefit the game if some affection/trust caps, that would increase after making enough progress through the main/sub plot, were introduced.
Or if the events themselves had such a requirement of certain plot points being reached.

 

[Cryswar]

I only played 0.14a which is a couple of patches ago so sorry if this feedback is no longer relevant, but I'm guessing it will be. I'm not sure I'm a fan of the way the content is gated in terms of affection/progress with each character. I liked the prologue - making choices between two things to say, which character to talk to, etc - but I'm not a fan of a system where you can effectively "grind" all the relationships up to max as soon as you hit the open world, or even up to xyz level max and then this being extended further as the game progresses. It's immersion-breaking to think that these trust/relationship plotlines would progress just camping out on the road, and it feels grindy to stay there going from "just met" to "ride or die bros forever" with the entire party when you're still at the equivalent party of your journey to like, idk, everyone just left Rivendell yesterday and is trying to remember which one is Aragorn and which one is Boromir

Most h games just force you along a railroaded plot and maybe let you say yes or no to each character, but I'm assuming you want way more interaction and choice than that

MGD does it a similar(ish) way to you but I think it makes more sense for NPCs; you reach them sequentially in a fixed location that is a dungeon you need to keep going back to to train, if you want to get to know them better you keep going back there, fighting your way to them, and fighting/speaking to them - rarely a rinse-repeat of clicking "Talk" "Rest" "Talk" until the trust number goes up, so it feels (IMO) more real. It's also often gated behind progress like beating them in a powered up mode, passing a difficult skill check, progressing further in the game, or completing a fleshed out subplot a la Venefica.

Many of those things above don't necessarily work so well in the context of a party of companions rather than NPCs around the world... but anyway, personally I'd rather see the content 100% dictated by progress through the game and/or story choices. It seems like a waste to write all these great scenes and then just let the player chew through the lot of them in the first 30 mins of the game. The potential for immersion, emotion, narrative etc to mix in to what's happening is much higher if things are happening in the context of meaningful events in the game, not just infinitely repeatable camping. Also, Ashley best girl, but if she has like 10 scenes already, it might be hard to keep them feeling fresh and varied if you wanted another 10+ scenes throughout the main game's plot!

BTW, while it's occasionally a bit too packed with memes and fourth wall breaking jokes, I really like the writing in this game. And the only reason I think it's a bit too joke-heavy is that I think the writing is good enough to stand on its own, so it doesn't need as many of the meta-jokes/anachronisms, it can present itself on its own terms

No need to apologize, I'm always up for constructive criticism! Thanks for taking the time to go into detail about your thoughts.

The main sources of trust are battles and sparring, and affection from evening hangouts and working out. The idea was that you could get 1-2 scenes a day just by doing normal gameplay (adventuring twice a day), then people started asking for a skip button lol. You definitely aren't supposed to just sit there and chill spamming 'waste time,' that was an unexpected result of adding the button.

If I can ask, do you think that the ease of getting trust/affection from camp stuff is the core problem, or Waste Time letting you skip the battle side of things?

T/A aren't perfect systems, but I'm hesitant to drop them entirely - there's already content hardlocked to progression, but I really wanted the basic character relationship stuff to be linked to spending time together rather than 'okay, you got this far in the plot', which is a system I've never really liked.

It makes sense for discussion of major plot points to be plotlocked, and that happens a bit already - Celica's last scene has some extra lines if you do it after bringing her along for the Severn finale, and there are others planned. Just not sure that the majority of progression should be linked to that.

BlindBigot 's idea might be a feasible compromise, ex. you're capped at 6 T/A until you reach Badon which unlocks 8-12 T/A scenes. I'd have to think about it more, but do you think that would help the immersion? I agree with your overall point - that sitting in camp until Metatron reaches 9001 affection and falls in love with you isn't a good structure - just pondering the best way to improve on that.

Also, thanks for the feedback on the writing! I realize that I have quite a ways to go as a writer, but glad it's mostly enjoyable still. I've definitely eased off on the memes/4th wall stuff significantly after the not-great opening, which I plan to rewrite eventually. But for being the opening of the game... it really doesn't do a good job of conveying the tone or writing of the rest of the game, lol. Curse of being the first part I did when I was very new to this.

Man, I spent years as a mediocre beginner writer desperately trying and failing to get useful feedback on my writing, who knew that making a niche porn game and posting it on a pirate site would lead to me getting the most honest concrit of my time writing?