- Nov 16, 2017
- 1,393
- 2,659
As far as the sister model, really the biggest issue I had was the rather odd color choice for the eyes and amounts of make up she always had on, which made her face look more like an inanimate doll in some of the scenes... Which was a little creepy sometimes... Only other issue I saw was with some of her posing... Such as when she was sitting at the table eating with the family, and the other female character, they both seemed to always be looking off into the distance in a downward slope, rather then at one another as they conversed... And when she would have her arms crossed, it didn't appear very natural looking most of the time... And in a couple scenes the lighting angle would look a little off as it hit the model in comparison to the rest of the scene... She also looked a bit out of place in the bedroom, as she sat on her bed during the navigation portion... Looked more like she was just cut and pasted onto the visual of the room, then actually being in the scene itself...Zippity: thank you for the review, hope I have the chance to change your opinion about the game, I'll work on that. I'm working on some issues you appointed. I'm doing new sprites for Nath, to fix the excessive lightening. (about her style itself, as I stated I won't change because I like it, so it's something personal). and I'll change the animation in the 'evil dream'. I did it long ago and from that date I gained some experience with daz3d, I think I can improve it now.
About the text... for the last demo I did a big review on the text, if it's still bad I see no other option but to buy a proofreader program or maybe find someone out there to help me (I think that proofreader programs won't help me with slangs and things like that).
Honestly, it would be so, sooooo much easier to do it in my main idiom. But that's not an option since English is the world idiom.
Most of the time, the other female character appeared more natural in her posing and scene visuals, other then some of her staring off into space moments... And the car positioning error that I mentioned in the review...
Overall, it's not a bad first attempt... I can tell you put a lot of heart and soul into what was presented... And I'm sure in time as you learn and grow, you will improve...
The Broken English doesn't just need normal proofreading... It needs someone to translate as well as interpret it better... Translation is just the word for word conversion from your native language to English... But then it needs to be properly interpreted so that it also makes more sense, sounding more like proper English, but still keeping the intention of the story relevant to what you originally wanted to get across to the reader... That will take a person with the skills to do that for you... Something a software program will not do justice to... General proofreading is just to fix spelling errors and some grammar...
I wish you the best of luck as you go through the struggles of development...
Zip
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