VN Ren'Py Abandoned Experiencing Life [The prologue] [Forcion]

[Forcion]

Forcion just a friendly reminder, don't forget to put netori in the genre.

Also for tagging netori thread wise, it is currently included under the cheating tag. So put cheating on the thread, and netori in genre. (when the game actually has it of course).

thanks for a reminder, and as for the cheating tag, I am not comfortable with putting it there in genre or future tags as right now the mc is learning the ropes of what a relationship actually is, and putting it there will make people think of a storyline that I don't want to add.

but i don't know down the line, how it will play out so I will refrain from mentioning it

 

[bobdillan]

thanks for a reminder, and as for the cheating tag, I am not comfortable with putting it there in genre or future tags as right now the mc is learning the ropes of what a relationship actually is, and putting it there will make people think of a storyline that I don't want to add.

but i don't know down the line, how it will play out so I will refrain from mentioning it

Allg, as for the cheating I would only put it on the thread as a tag, since it is for netori, which will eventually be in genre. No need to do anything with that, until there is that content in the game though

P.s. I shall watch this with great interest.

 

[ttsheng33]

Well here is another one just in case you dont know.
By the way look like the mc dick is too big ,my opinion.

 

[YaYa_UnTIN2]

Hi Forcion,

Thank you for being the first game dev that I have ever read on F95, by myself at least, to explain "clearly" on their OP what type of NTR content you will be offering, there should be NO - NTR - flame wars from potential players of your game, you have clearly stated:

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Good luck with your game.

 

[Forcion]

Well here is another one just in case you dont know.
By the way look like the mc dick is too big ,my opinion.
View attachment 1281886

thanks for pointing it out but that is an error on my part as I might have written incorrectly there, I will be adding a new script fix tomorrow which will fix all the grammatical and image errors,

as for the dick, my computer has been one to me(it seem to erectile dysfunction while required to run), I can create realistic dicks but loading the main character with it to already heavy map crashes my pc( can seem to handle being near dicks) I hope I can find a solution. (right now only donation can help) i am dirt broke on my own,

 

[Vrijgeest]

One or two problems here which have already been mentioned.

-Using HS models which are great for women and very bad for men including genitals. The look as if they walk around with an iron rod in their spine.
-Language. Are you trying to represent Indian culture? It is not working and ends up as spaghetti. Please get a proofreader.
-The story is very weak and quite idiotic in places. Is the MC a trans? In some renders he looks very female. I dont mind but with the NTR mob fast approaching some clarity is required.

I hope this prologue does not mean it will change into another sandbox? We have plenty already.

 

[Forcion]

Hi Forcion,

Thank you for being the first game dev that I have ever read on F95, by myself at least, to explain "clearly" on their OP what type of NTR content you will be offering, there should be NO - NTR - flame wars from potential players of your game, you have clearly stated:

Spoiler

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Good luck with your game.

you are actually spot on with the feeling I also wanted to convey, and no love interest is a former sex worker as can be seen from the prologue (character social status), I mentioned them in case of an event that might involve Private clubs and Vip social club which mc might get invited to.

I cant handle NTR content myself, because of my trauma, so the money will not be the problem, I'll just have a panic attack while creating it. the only lesbian content( not the sexual orientation one) I can imagine or might be possible to digest will be with the twins( none of this had been written).

and I will always help clarify doubts regarding my story setting, i don't kink shame anyone, but cant accept them being part of my story.

 

[PeggyBlackett]

Is it some sort of philosophical quote, or sarcasm. either way I am not able to understand the meaning

You could never park it in a normal parking space ... you could never get out of it safely if there was any traffic .. and from the look of it it has ludicrously wide door sills you'd have to slide across to get in or out.

Those doors mean you can only ever park it somewhere you have about six feet of clearance {on both sides if there's a passenger, because they'd never be able to get across to the driver side door}. A Bricklin had more practical doors with its full gullwings.

 

[Forcion]

One or two problems here which have already been mentioned.

-Using HS models which are great for women and very bad for men including genitals. The look as if they walk around with an iron rod in their spine.
-Language. Are you trying to represent Indian culture? It is not working and ends up as spaghetti. Please get a proofreader.
-The story is very weak and quite idiotic in places. Is the MC a trans? In some renders he looks very female. I dont mind but with the NTR mob fast approaching some clarity is required.

I hope this prologue does not mean it will change into another sandbox? We have plenty already.

Graphics problem is something i can solve in my own, and i am not representing indian culture, i only used naming scheme because i was able to comprehend the characters in that way.

thanks for Advice on mc face, i can morph it to some extent. might be in next update

 

[Forcion]

You could never park it in a normal parking space ... you could never get out of it safely if there was any traffic .. and from the look of it it has ludicrously wide door sills you'd have to slide across to get in or out.

Those doors mean you can only ever park it somewhere you have about six feet of clearance {on both sides if there's a passenger, because they'd never be able to get across to the driver side door}. A Bricklin had more practical doors with its full gullwings.

At this point, I am just confused and amused.

 

[Jsd16]

Forcion I just finished playing your game . Are U by any chance from India ?
I love Honey select models U used in this game . It's one of the best I have seen in HS games .
I loved those Indian customs and cultures used in the game . Eg where MC aunt ignores his dad conversations while seeing TV ( Indian tv shows ) which we see often in India .
The prologue is good and I like where the story is going but your English is just as bad as mine ( I think English is not your first language ) and U need to find an English proofreader asap and have them correct those things for u in your game and update it , if u want people to support u.

 

[Forcion]

Forcion I just finished playing your game . Are U by any chance from India ?
I love Honey select models U used in this game . It's one of the best I have seen in HS games .
I loved those Indian customs and cultures used in the game . Eg where MC aunt ignores his dad conversations while seeing TV ( Indian tv shows ) which we see often in India .
The prologue is good and I like where the story is going but your English is just as bad as mine ( I think English is not your first language ) and U need a English proofreader asap and have them correct those things for u in your game and update it , if u want people to support u.

any way to find a proofreader for free, if I can get support on Patreon I am going to pay them but cant, in the beginning, I am Indian so unknowingly slipped some behavioral references.

and thanks for your review on character faces I personally created them from each slider ( my pc gave up on me, multiple times during creation)

 

[Jsd16]

any way to find a proofreader for free, if I can get support on Patreon I am going to pay them but cant, in the beginning, I am Indian so unknowingly slipped some behavioral references.

and thanks for your review on character faces I personally created them from each slider ( my pc gave up on me, multiple times during creation)

It's nice to see a developer from India , I'm from the south chennai .
I don't know how to contact a proofreader . I think maybe others can help u when they see your post above .
And try not to have family relations ( aunt , cousin ) in your game , make them roommate , godmother and use a patch or let players customize their relations or else patreon will suspend your account for not following the rules ( Just a suggestion )
Try to be patience , u may not got supporters for the game initially but after some updates and u will see steady rise in ur patreon.
You seem to have ability to make nice HS models with nice story and tags like HAREM , NETORI and no NTR which people love .
If u were able to correct those mistake with English proofreader and if u establish a nice compelling story , u will get a lot good reviews which will increase ur patreon count .

 

[Hrk19]

so, the grammar is really bad, its kinda not playable like this, so dev, if possible, could you get someone to proofread this?
other than that, the renders are pretty good.

 

[Forcion]

so, the grammar is really bad, its kinda not playable like this, so dev, if possible, could you get someone to proofread this?
other than that, the renders are pretty good.

i advise you to read "please read" on main post again for clarifications

 

[YaYa_UnTIN2]

I played the game.

That was a little rough going… but

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Good luck with your game.

 

[Forcion]

I played the game.

That was a little rough going… but

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Good luck with your game.

 

[Forcion]

So those definitions I found were backwards, that's a shame. My partner being with someone else, let alone me being forced to watch has never been my cup of tea. Guess this just wasn't for me lol

Oh well to each there own, best of luck with the project.

My game is Netori, you got it backward

 

[Lysergic]

My game is Netori, you got it backward

Yeah I re-read your post and was just about to fix mine lol

In that case count me in, I'll definitely give this a try.

(I don't know why this concept gave me so much difficulty, it isn't that complex, guess I just have a case of the dumb today.

 

[Forcion]

Yeah I re-read your post and was just about to fix mine lol

In that case count me in, I'll definitely give this a try.

(I don't know why this concept gave me so much difficulty, it isn't that complex, guess I just have a case of the dumb today.

i was in the same boat as you initially when I didn't found the exact word