1.WhoGivesAFuck: Patreons Are Dumber Than Bricks Edition
So, Crush hasn't really released an update all fucking year. Just a sort-of-one that's more "the previous call is confirmed" dogshit.
But in May he pretty much outright admitted he's been shitting out overlong linear shit which is actually pretty dogshit for a "sandbox" game, and then he... went back to babbling about art and whatnot, because the fucking cunt clearly still has no fucking clue how to deliver sandboxy game he's been, promising for what is it, 7 years now?
I'm amazed at the sheer number of people who can't seem to muster enough brain cells to figure out the heat death of the universe will come to pass before this guy figures out how to actually deliver what he's been promising. Bricks are presumably amazed too, at both that and the realization they're somehow smarter than that despite being inanimate objects.
Fuck, I actually updated this again. The previous call is confirmed, unless it wasn't harsh enough.
1.20: I Can't Even Edition
Literally couldn't push myself to update the review for six editions. That should tell you everything you need to know, but in case you're on the slow side:
This version of the game is a kinetic novel that's short both on visuals and on writing. Seriously, the fans that think the last few episodes were good writing probably also think 50 Shades deserves a Nobel. Anyone with an actually grasp on what good writing is, however, will dislike-to-hate how choices don't matter and the pacing ain't good.
In a vacuum, now about 2 stars as a sub-par kinetic novel with a glacial development pace.
Outside a vacuum, CrushStation still claims this is an RPG, and the overall development pace is actually tectonic , so after official review, the previous call is confirmed.
I probably won't be updating this ever again, because it's blatantly obvious this project will never truly be going anywhere.
Previously: 1.13: Bangkok At Long Last Edition
In a vacuum, the most recent update looks promising. Outside a vacuum, getting to Bangkok at long last involved removing all the stupid lifepath shit CrushStation wasted the previous four fucking years on. M'kay.
Also outside a vacuum, the update is really more like the Bangkok Part of the Prologue Edition, and still doesn't offer any actual evidence CrushStation finally found a clue how to go about implementing that sandboxy undercover spycraft/whorecraft game this still isn't. M'kay.
In a vacuum, probably 3/5 for being too linear and rough around the edges. Outside a vacuum, after official review, the previous call is confirmed.
Previously: The 1.12: The Prologue Simulator, Back To The Drawing Board 3.XXX Get On With The Game Edition
So, CrushStation finally figured out he's spending too much fucking time on the pre-prologue and should get on with the game. So we're finally back to seeing some prologue, a year or so into the latest incarnation of The Prologue Simulator, Back To The Drawing Board 3.XXX, its first Get On With The Game Edition.
Except I'm still not convinced CrushStation finally bothered to actually go back to the drawing board. The stupid on-screen dice-rolling does little but detract from the story of The Prologue Simulator, Back To The Drawing Board 3.XXX, the RNG feels more random than back in the The Prologue Simulator, Back To The Drawing Board 2.X cycle, and, well, the Get On With The Game Edition still doesn't actually get on with the game.
I honestly believe CrushStation is a fucking moron who never actually touched the fucking drawing board and still doesn't have a fucking clue how the actual fucking game is supposed to work.
And while the writing is good, and the art is good, and has potential to be 5 stars in the right context, in the context of a game about undercover spycraft whoring in Bangkok that, 3.5 years in but apparently never actually using the drawing board when going back to it, as The Prologue Simulator, Back To The Drawing Board 3.XXX Get On With The Game Edition still isn't anywhere near getting to the fucking actual game about fucking actually undercover spycraft whoring in Bangkok, it's only worth one star because I can 't assign a well-deserved zero.