the writing is so atrocious: barely any punctuation, bad spelling an just plain confusing.
the author should get a proof-reader, or if that is to expensive, you can always get Grammarly. which is not as good, but is totally free.
Somewhat interesting - really like Emma but with all the other girls just throwing themselves at the MC - I wonder if there is any room for real romance and not the starstruck money purchased type so prevalent in these games
Anyway I hope there is room for simple romance with Emma, the rest can sit at the sidelines
I'm from Europe too but I believe the name should correspond to place of action - how the sport is named there. If the action takes place in US, it's hard to expect the characters to name it football, it would be unrealistic.
Way way way WAY WAY WAAAAAAAAAY way way way Waaaaaaaaaaaaay to long of a opening monologue story set up.. it needs condensing or at least adding some other images in there to fill the boredom of that sunset/rise while endlessly reading all that opening.. I dont doubt you have a good story to tell but that was just way to long and boring of a click fest to go through.. as i said it needs some visual story telling to fill the long set up or condense the backstory to the important need to know elements.. some of all that backstory you can divulge via the mc during his conversations with the other characters or in his own inner monologue thoughts.. theres no need to have all tht at an intro.. most will click close before they even get to the story
Eh... it's got a decent amount of content at least for a first release. Renders are alright, kind of bland, but they do the job (except for the car scenes where he is talking to invisible people). Writing is... eh lol. Spoiler the rest so I don't... well... spoil anything.
Honestly for me, this was just a mess of stuff. No choices where it should matter, and the choices you do get, don't even matter at all. Grammar and translation needs work, but it's decent enough. But overall, just couldn't get into this. MC is too much of a simp floor mat. Feels like NTR is going to happen, or everyone is just going to be okay with everybody banging everybody. This feels more like the dev's wet dream/fantasy instead of them trying to write a story.
But yeah, don't think this is for me. Spoilered all the story stuff (sorry for the long read). Either way, best of luck with your project and thanks.
Very good analysis, and I'm with you about the main issue: MC has no fu*king choice with Emma! "Look MC, Emma is now your new official girlfriend, no choice, you just met her and you can't fool around with any other girl, live with it!".
And no choice with Katie either, you can't reject her, she is also your "mum" now.
The lack of choices in this VN is a big issue right now. I don't know where this is going but apparently the MC will not stay with Emma (Beth seems to know something about her and we also know that Emma hides something from her past).