VN Ren'Py Abandoned Ghost Revenge [Ep. 1-4] [Adults city]

[achref]

Unfortunate, I'll see myself out. Good luck with the game.

thank you

 

[Avaron1974]

you can Avoid that only for the 2 first episode but nex that will take you to bad end in the game im sorry

So going full lesbian leads to a bad end?

 

[Lucius Drake]

So going full lesbian leads to a bad end?

seems so... too bad :/

 

[TiffanyMonroe]

Taking dick is one of the perks of being a female. lol

 

[Lucius Drake]

Taking dick is one of the perks of being a female. lol

Not necessarily

 

[TiffanyMonroe]

Not necessarily

Oh right how insensitive of me. Men enjoy dick too.

 

[Lucius Drake]

Oh right how insensitive of me. Men enjoy dick too.

So true... Or something.... Other

 

[JoshuaDADAD]

i like the concept

 

[Nelythia]

Text needs an english proof reader and editor.
Text needs proper grammar and capitalization.
Dialoge, in some places, is horrible.

I do like that its a female protagonist game though and so far the renders and characters are great as well.

 

[dirtyoldmanlol]

Rokay. Generalmajor Grammar Nazi to the RESCUE!

The game is about Jenifer, a 20 years year old girl. Her father, before his death, (no need for the extra clause) was behaving strangely before his death and speaking about ghosts and evil who that wanted to destroy him. All the people (awkward) Everyone considered him (also awkward) thought he was crazy, except for his daughter (no need to repeat that fact) Jenifer, who deep in her heart wants wanted to believe him. After her father's death, she decided to move with (her family made the decision, not her on her own) her family decided to move somewhere else to another place. They collected all their money and bought a new house to start a new life (or new lives), but something strange begins began (you're mixing present and past tense all through this) to happen to them. They discover that there is a an (use an instead of a in front of words beginning with vowel sounds - English is FUN) evil who that (unless we know the evil is a person avoid using pronouns that describe him as a person) wants to harm them, and Jenifer is the only one who can save her family.

Mistakes crossed out, alternate wording underlined, explanations in brackets and italics.

This is awesome. I've been thinking of offering a service just like this to a number of these developers. Some of the games are really good (with great art also), but the English is simply horrendous. It's a shame because I (and I'm sure many others) stop playing just a few minutes in because of this.

 

[cuculain]

This is awesome. I've been thinking of offering a service just like this to a number of these developers. Some of the games are really good (with great art also), but the English is simply horrendous. It's a shame because I (and I'm sure many others) stop playing just a few minutes in because of this.

I have stopped a few games because of this; trying to read some of the games was giving me a headache.

 

[achref]

from what I see in the comments, I made many terrible grammar mistakes.
I will do my best to improve myself and fix everything before releasing the next episode.
Thank you all for being honest.

 

[dirtyoldmanlol]

from what I see in the comments, I made many terrible grammar mistakes.
I will do my best to improve myself and fix everything before releasing the next episode.
Thank you all for being honest.

Maybe just asking for some help would be a lot easier

 

[morpheusahrms]

same query...will play if i can go full lesbian.

Only if you shave that beard, lady! ;-D

 

[macadam]

so avoiding the D leads to "bad end"..ok..not interested..see y'all.

i honestly have no idea... but that actually made me laugh. ( am i crazy ? i dont understand at all why i laughed at that XD )

 

[Dyhart]

he/she is not asking for a walkthrough..just wondering if penis can be avoided...all pussy all the time..lol..fair number of us guys will play a female protag if she only goes cavern spelunking.

LMFAO!! Dude! You're absolutely hilarious.

But on that note, I prefer lesbian routes too.

 

[achref]

Pretty cool start (+1 on the grammar though, it will smooth things).
Also check characters names, you tend to attribute dialogue to character not in the scene (for instance Cristin become Ashlye)

yes i fix it thank you

 

[HorizonD]

Why do I get every time disappointed when a stranger guy is rubbing his dick on the ass of the female protag and she is ok with it?
Yeah, this is a porn game with ghosts or demons but every normal woman would kick the guys' balls.
There is no "foreplay" that she might find him cute and she wants to tease him so this would explain that behavior.

But an interesting story start. Keep it up.

 

[achref]

Why do I get every time disappointed when a stranger guy is rubbing his dick on the ass of the female protag and she is ok with it?
Yeah, this is a porn game with ghosts or demons but every normal woman would kick the guys' balls.
There is no "foreplay" that she might find him cute and she wants to tease him so this would explain that behavior.

But an interesting story start. Keep it up.

thank you, They can no longer control their sexual desire anymore because of demon curse.
everything will be explained in the next update.

 

[achref]

my game ends when she saw the dream and a girl tell her the he is coming for you......? can anyone tell me that game is short or mine is not working i like this game.

sorry, the first episode of the game end there.
There will be more contents and animation in the next update.