VN Ren'Py Going for Goal [v0.10] [DarkSkello]

[Degen003]

Played the 0.02, Its ok but has a lot of problems.
-Text and textbox is awfull covers up or cant read in dark background.
-Girls are nice except Betty, animation are awful might as well be removed
-incest doesnt work here, ist convoluted to the point of just ignoring the plot

 

[roxyt482]

Got an error when you choose "look at her ass" in the gym and another during the shower scene, sometimes you use point instead of points

```
I'm sorry, but an uncaught exception occurred.

While running game code:
File "game/script.rpy", line 3377, in script
$sabrelpoint-= 1
File "game/script.rpy", line 3377, in <module>
$sabrelpoint-= 1
NameError: name 'sabrelpoint' is not defined

-- Full Traceback ------------------------------------------------------------

```
I'm sorry, but an uncaught exception occurred.

While running game code:
File "game/script.rpy", line 3621, in script
$ shizrelpoint+= 1 #shizrel2
File "game/script.rpy", line 3621, in <module>
$ shizrelpoint+= 1 #shizrel2
NameError: name 'shizrelpoint' is not defined

-- Full Traceback ------------------------------------------------------------

 

[darkskello]

darkskello
great improvement as far as i can see from the pictures posted here.
The illegal Adoption is still the weakest plot point, I know you need some kind of catalyst, but still.
But its leagues better then in the first iteration now the family is still lovable and mom did her best with a shitty hand she was dealt.

The intro with those character introductions was to long and some of the information you gave us is nonsensical.
Oni and Shizuka should get introduced once you meet them.
Shizuka has an S to much in her introduction "age 18. SShe"

That MC doesn't know Elizabeth is dumb as hell, you tell us MC doesn't even know her Name, but we need to know that she is cool, hard working, and she cares deeply for the MC? What?
She is the assistant manager of his team even if they never worked together directly he would know at least her name.

Why not say, because MC is the new upcoming star, she worked close together with the MC and they developed feelings for eachother, Would also play into the clash she had with the Manager and that she quit because MC got the boot.

It is a work in progress and feedback helps. advice, tips and suggestions are always welcome.

The Elizabeth part is something I might leave out of the intro same with Shizuka and Onishi. Just to try and make it move faster. Elizabeth is basically introduced in the office scene with Frank anyway.

I apreciate your comments and advice in here, I will take it on board and see what I can come up with.

 

[Simulacrum29]

The Elizabeth part is something I might leave out of the intro same with Shizuka and Onishi. Just to try and make it move faster. Elizabeth is basically introduced in the office scene with Frank anyway.

yeah that would suffice you only need a render to show her in that scene ^^, right now she is just a voice from the off

 

[darkskello]

Got an error when you choose "look at her ass" in the gym

```
I'm sorry, but an uncaught exception occurred.

While running game code:
File "game/script.rpy", line 3377, in script
$sabrelpoint-= 1
File "game/script.rpy", line 3377, in <module>
$sabrelpoint-= 1
NameError: name 'sabrelpoint' is not defined

-- Full Traceback ------------------------------------------------------------

I never has an issue in testing that. I must have missed it and placed the -1 in afterwards and forgot to retest it. I will replace the file that has the issue (The script) and should be fine. The MEGA and GOFILE links both work with that error fixed.

 

[stupidcat]

Well, here we go

 

[Chimba]

Spoiler

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I don't want to sound like an asshole, but yeah, the adoption plot doesn't make much sense, I mean, she's doing the paperwork now, that means she could have done it before, but she didn't until that she screwed up the mc's life and everything came to light.(so much drama just for a step-cest plot?)

When the MC hears that, he should get more angry about all the situation or at least have a thought about it... but knowing how this Mc is written, he sure buys another cake for her and apologizes for making her travel ....(let's see what happens next)

 

[Saint Blackmoor]

Here's the script with all the correct phonetically spelled words.

Much luck with the game darkskello

PS: who and where are all the people talking in the first scene? in the gaffer's office?

 

[Crowangel]

Ive liked what ive seen so far.. im sorry for drawing comparisons but am i right to guess this is a UK footy alternative to WVM (a title i love btw) I'm from the uk and so far the brit games have been hit n miss but this ones dialogue and story so far seem to have a good base but having played WVM i couldnt help but see similarities.. in a great way.. i just ask to give a sense of the direction to enjoy in the future

 

[darkskello]

Ive liked what ive seen so far.. im sorry for drawing comparisons but am i right to guess this is a UK footy alternative to WVM (a title i love btw) I'm from the uk and so far the brit games have been hit n miss but this ones dialogue and story so far seem to have a good base but having played WVM i couldnt help but see similarities.. in a great way.. i just ask to give a sense of the direction to enjoy in the future

It is a little bit hard to go your own way with something like this when somebody is already doing something similar (And is highly successful with it). I'm trying not to make it look by a copy but with so many already out there, it's a little difficult to make it not look like your taking from someone else's work. In my case I have played WVM and many other games and decided to have a crack at it myself.

This is my first outing with anything even remotely related to a game. The code is something I had to learn and still am learning. The animations aren't great but I have no idea how to do them other than how I already did them.

The story however, I'm trying to do something different with football (Soccer if your American). I don't follow basketball or any other American sport. With this I want to try and get it in a similar way it is in reality. A young star coming through, the media can either get to them or make them. They either peak too soon or don't peak at all. I will go on record though and say that the whole family arc is only beginning. By that I don't mean the adopted one. The tags are correct since so far the mc has been in the act with blood. That is intentional and forced for the story. You can get a choice later to stay the course or abandon ship.

However, I do actually intend on having an actual game before my 27th update (That wasn't a insult to braindrop by the way just the truth). The next update will be planned on settling in and training. Who appears in that update is still being decided but I intend to at least introduce the femdom character(I plan on her also being submissive if the user decides or to not go after her at all).

Other than what I have said we shall see. Thank you for playing as well as your time.

 

[darkskello]

Here's the script with all the correct phonetically spelled words.

Much luck with the game darkskello

PS: who and where are all the people talking in the first scene? in the gaffer's office?

Vignette is just the generic for unknown characters until they are introduced. Frank is the manager of your old club and Elizabeth is the women in the room. I understand the confusion due to some of her lines being listed as Vignette in the script.

 

[Crowangel]

It is a little bit hard to go your own way with something like this when somebody is already doing something similar (And is highly successful with it). I'm trying not to make it look by a copy but with so many already out there, it's a little difficult to make it not look like your taking from someone else's work. In my case I have played WVM and many other games and decided to have a crack at it myself.

This is my first outing with anything even remotely related to a game. The code is something I had to learn and still am learning. The animations aren't great but I have no idea how to do them other than how I already did them.

The story however, I'm trying to do something different with football (Soccer if your American). I don't follow basketball or any other American sport. With this I want to try and get it in a similar way it is in reality. A young star coming through, the media can either get to them or make them. They either peak too soon or don't peak at all. I will go on record though and say that the whole family arc is only beginning. By that I don't mean the adopted one. The tags are correct since so far the mc has been in the act with blood. That is intentional and forced for the story. You can get a choice later to stay the course or abandon ship.

However, I do actually intend on having an actual game before my 27th update (That wasn't a insult to braindrop by the way just the truth). The next update will be planned on settling in and training. Who appears in that update is still being decided but I intend to at least introduce the femdom character(I plan on her also being submissive if the user decides or to not go after her at all).

Other than what I have said we shall see. Thank you for playing as well as your time.

Im from the UK so football is familiar to me and i like your approach you have taken so far.. and yes WVM is good but i too understand football more than basketball being in the uk so this one peaked my interest,
I do have to say tho that at some point you have to have Victor shout.. Put the FOOTY down' as his Arnie likeness is uncanny much to your render credit there.. I'm looking forward to seeing how it goes as the one thing as you mentioned with wvm was there was never any actual sport involved despite the topic.. that said the journey there was filled with aspects that made for good drama and im interested to see what roadblocks and hurdles this mc has to pass too

 

[Crowangel]

one tip i'll also give dev is dont hide the mc.. yes everyone might not always like your mc style but t least it makes scenes better than the first person perspective when it comes to love romance and lewd scenes.. we have seen the 'fishface' kissing perspective enough and it doesnt work

 

[darkskello]

one tip i'll also give dev is dont hide the mc.. yes everyone might not always like your mc style but t least it makes scenes better than the first person perspective when it comes to love romance and lewd scenes.. we have seen the 'fishface' kissing perspective enough and it doesnt work

He was supposed to be visible during the gym and news but daz3d kept screwing with me. I wanted to get this out for those who have been following since my first release as I promised them I would release it as soon as I can. Now I can play around with things and try and get the model to work. I've narrowed it down to either his hair or his clothes so far, still not tired it in bigger scenes yet to confirm it or not. Most likely recreate the gym scenes and make them much better. I already created three woman for the Fight coach (Vote on going). Your choice if you want to learn how to fight/defend. She is also the femdom character somebody asked for, but I want to make it so can submit or make her submit for user preference.

 

[coffi69]

Butterface festival

as my old man used to say..its not the face you fuck its the fuck you face.

 

[Saint Blackmoor]

Vignette is just the generic for unknown characters until they are introduced. Frank is the manager of your old club, and Elizabeth is the woman in the room. I understand the confusion due to some of her lines being listed as Vignette in the script.

But you don't see anyone but gaffer in the scene. It's confusing.
Are Frank and gaffer the same person? Their names are very similar in color.
One way to avoid confusion would be to tell the MC that the others are on a conference call and there is a large phone in the scene.
This new remake is much better than last year's version. It's a little darker as far as dialogue. but that's more realistic.

 

[darkskello]

But you don't see anyone but gaffer in the scene. It's confusing.
Are Frank and gaffer the same person? Their names are very similar in color.
One way to avoid confusion would be to tell the MC that the others are on a conference call and there is a large phone in the scene.
This new remake is much better than last year's version. It's a little darker as far as dialogue. but that's more realistic.

Gaffer is another word for manager. Frank is the manager but rather than using his name he refers to him as gaffer as a sign of respect. Though, I can't imagine him being respectful come their next encounter (Planned for one of the matches. Hopefully you can either get under his skin and demolish the team or you can let him get under your skin and you have a bad game).

 

[WankerDxD]

The picture in his Attachment supposed to represent the game in latest updates section, instead of showing that ugly blondy giving BJ image.

So many people will not check the game for that , while he got some good looking girls .

 

[DoverDad]

The second error I ran into first one already been reported

 

[MrBenny]

Well I'm not liking the white overlay or textbox used for this project. And due to the thin solid black font, I can't replace with a darker textbox and or overlay. It's really brutal on the eyes using a large screen...reminds me of that shitty Google / MS / Apple material design, which I really hated when we were ordinally forced to use it with Google Chrome.

So I wish there was a choice added for a darker textbox / overlay and or a different font with an outline that will display properly on a darker textbox /overlay. Included images showing the differences with the white text box (set at 50%) and without a textbox...still hard to see.