GarudoSCHE
Member
- Dec 16, 2024
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Am I correct in understanding that the twin sister's threat to incinerate Elis's wife is not enough?
Filipis
Engaged Member
- Nov 15, 2022
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Thanks for the feedback! My main priority is fixing up grammatical errors, typos, and sentence styling (like the rogue quotation marks), but I will take into account your cosmetic suggestions as well (keep in mind that, sometimes, a sentence is phrased "unusually" so it fits neatly into the dialogue box)Filipis I played your remastered version for a few minutes. Disclaimer:
The English is much better in your version than in the original. I can't even imagine the amount of time and effort it took to do it. Kudos!
- English is not my first language, so take whatever I say with a pinch of salt
- I don't understand a single word of Russian, so I can't compare your English version to the original in Russian.
So far I noticed the following errors or things I'd state differently:
Please let me know which suggestions you found acceptable and which ones you didn't, so I can learn what to filter out next time
- There seems to be a Ren'Py mod installed; it popped up the first time I booted the game.
- & → and (e.g. Val: [...] consolidating & centralizing [...], and Val: [...] days & nights).
- Val: And, out of spite - or sheer hubris - had all the imperial [...] → And, out of spite or sheer hubris, had all the imperial (italic inside dashes is too much emphasis IMO).
- Val: [...] So much so, that few even believed [...] →
- Few even believed
- A few even believed
- So much so that a few even believed
- So much so that some even believed (if the people who believed something are few in number (1, 2 or 3), I don't think it would warrant the use of "so much so").
- Val: [...] large army of malcontents from all across the Empire →
- large army of malcontent people from all across the Empire
- large army of dissatisfied people from all across the Empire
- There are quotation marks at the end of some dialogue boxes (e.g. Val: [...] large army of malcontents from all across the Empire." and Val: [...] acquiesce to this future.")
- Val: Thousands of swords and spears pierced thousands more bodies → Thousands swords and spears pierced thousands bodies
- Val: The Emperor was soon found mortally wounded in his chambers by his youngest son Regis - who blamed his elder brother for the patricide → The Emperor was mortally wounded in his chambers. He was found in his death throes by his youngest son, Regis, who accused his elder brother of patricide
- Val: And with the support of a small group of nobles threw him into the dungeon, overnight becoming the closest thing to the crown of the new Emperor → With the support of a small group of nobles, Regis threw his elder brother into the dungeon and almost became the new Emperor overnight
- Val: The trial went as expected: Regis condemned his brother to death, depriving him of his right to the throne according to the ancient laws → A trial was held and his brother was found guilty. In accordance to the ancient laws, Regis stripped him of his right to the throne and sentenced him to death
- Val: A vast majority of the nobles and clergy →
- The vast majority of the nobility and clergy
- The vast majority of nobles and clerics
Did you enjoy all the non-cosmetic changes? Like the reworked pathing for the romances and expanded dialogue sections? I urge you to replay the remake multiple times, each with a drastically different set of choices made - I added a TON of references characters make according to your previous choices.
I can only speak for myself, but the reason Bookworm is an attractive option for MC is because it makes him less clueless about the politics & world around him. Almost makes you feel like playing Tyrion from GoT, whereas other paths have MC constantly rely on others for explanations.
Dessolos
Post Pro
- Jul 25, 2017
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Honestly if Mage MC didn't get unique portal adventures with Elin Bookworm would be my favorite as I find it him funny when he tells people random ass facts and the fact he actually feels like he knows what he is doing more.
P.zeus
Member
- Jan 2, 2018
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From the way the prophecy is given, the snakes are already major players not major players in the making, unless there's a huge plot twist I'm not counting on the family members being snake, although I can see them being used like Alina did Cass.
Cass isn't a snake because she doesn't hold importance like Alina, she was manipulated and used as a tool and her death wouldn't really affect the bigger picture as far as I can see. So removing Conrad from the picture, the only snake so far is Alina (mother by extension but they count as one).
So each chapter might show a different snake and its influence in using a member of the family to influence the MC.
DrakoGhoul
Forum Fanatic
- Jul 13, 2018
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Cass is the only confirmed snake in the game, at the moment. Everyone else is mere speculation. Not only do both entities comment on her death. She's seen in one of the three cages this update, if you killed her and saw the vision.
??????? Cass is the one person absolutely confirmed to be one of the prophecised snakes so far, did you play the latest update fully? If you go after one of Elin's friends during their trip to get the ingredients for the ritual (the one that carries a coffin), she will show you a vision where Cass appears inside one of three cages if you killed her, whereas the cage is empty if you didn't.
Lol what? Cass is already confirmed a snake.
P.zeus
Member
- Jan 2, 2018
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Do I need to choose a specific interaction to get the vision, cuz I'm pretty sure I didn't get anything from una
Not sure, I just choose her both times while on the camp and on the second she took me to a lake to "look at the moon" and the scene started.
P.zeus
Member
- Jan 2, 2018
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Yeah I just did that now and got the vision, didn't see that in my previous runs didn't think it important, this gives me a new looking into everything.
If Cass is the snake of the throne ( not Alina as I previously said seeing as she's the manipulator) she's also the one Miata warned about.
Then Elin might be the snake of the cradle?? That's gone be tuff, might be tied to the whole mage thingy.
Don't tell me this scene happen right after Ellis was having fun with his Mother???? God damnn
zzxxcc111
Newbie
- Jul 18, 2022
- 17
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Bro.....I doubt we will have a scene with mother in 0.12, Elis brought Valeria to the same place as Queen because usually nobody visit that room at the top of the tower and that way nobody would hear screams of Valeria
I think *his* at this context mean Valeria's son.
Filipis I just finished the first part, up to when they leave the village and start traveling to the capital. Despite that, I have a ton of feedback to give. Unfortunately, it's mostly negative, but know this: I can't wait to be done writing this post, so I can go back to play your remaster version, read all the changes you made to the romance paths, the expanded dialogues, and the added call backs to past choices in dialogues, so I can give you sincere praise for the effort you put in those things, in addition to the effort you put in improving the English translation
While I'm still at the beginning of the game, it is possible that the following issues are present throughout the entire remaster.
And that's it for what I think are the biggest issues of you remake. I can finally move on to things that hopefully you'll appreciate more:
While I'm still at the beginning of the game, it is possible that the following issues are present throughout the entire remaster.
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And that's it for what I think are the biggest issues of you remake. I can finally move on to things that hopefully you'll appreciate more:
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Carnagie
Member
- Apr 30, 2017
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I don't care if Cass is evil, she's too much my fetish. She's losing to the cock anyway, it's fine.
- Apr 26, 2025
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Green path, Elin and Queen Lust and Isis as wife is the best combo ever.
BrothersKeeper
Member
- May 9, 2018
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This but Elin love path and Aroura because Cass is more than enough evil bitch for me lol
It would be nice if both Aurora and Isis could be killed and replaced. especially since it seems consorts and concubines aren't a thing in this games lore.