Here are my first impressions of this game, as I experience it:
Oooh, fancy parallax shit on the main menu. Nevermind, it doesn't loop properly.
First person dev talking to audience, skip.
"its been a very rough year, by the way, my whole life kinda rough but that's not the matter." fuckin' sad face. I feel you bro.
"even I have a relatively big dick, (You will see it later" OK CALM DOWN BRO.
"Ok, enough of the sad story now get to the fun part. Are you getting excited? I bet you are..."
Sorry at this point I was too excited to continue this review.