- Jun 30, 2018
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- Jun 30, 2018
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typos and grammar issues all over the game - nearly on every single page:
(and i am not even talking about the writing being without any punctuation at all)
... kitchen okay ....
... okay Madison ....
(The Name should be "Claire" or "Clara" but not "Clare" - never heared that name before)
... you're welcome Claire .... (you ARE welcome .....)
.. she HAS a nice body .....
... oh my god, she is taking off her pants ....
(5errors within 5 words - guess that's record)
... and so on ... and so on ... REALLY needs proofreading - could be a nice game, but this horrible "Denglish" is hard to take in (no offence)
Hopefully the dev will get a proofreader for the next updates.
For now, nearly EVERY line of text is wrong
(and i am not even talking about the writing being without any punctuation at all)
... kitchen okay ....
... okay Madison ....
(The Name should be "Claire" or "Clara" but not "Clare" - never heared that name before)... you're welcome Claire .... (you ARE welcome .....)
.. she HAS a nice body .....
... oh my god, she is taking off her pants ....
(5errors within 5 words - guess that's record)
... and so on ... and so on ... REALLY needs proofreading - could be a nice game, but this horrible "Denglish" is hard to take in (no offence)
Hopefully the dev will get a proofreader for the next updates.
For now, nearly EVERY line of text is wrong
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- Oct 10, 2017
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- Jun 30, 2018
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get a proofreader - you have typos nearly on every line of text (sorry - just being honest) - i can't point out all of them - it probably would be a complete re-writing of the whole text.Turkish and thank you finding the typos
I am open to criticism
- Jun 30, 2018
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And most of all - re-read your own story from time to time.
look:
You notice something about those consecutively following text lines?
OH MY GOD, you didn't notice? How could that be?
look:
You notice something about those consecutively following text lines?
OH MY GOD, you didn't notice? How could that be?
- Oct 10, 2017
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I guess I'll have to look at all of them one by one. Thank you for your help. but i do it by myself and i think i pulled it out before i was ready. I was already thinking of releasing version 0.1 but for now it can stay like this as a demo like 0.01
- Jun 30, 2018
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well - i know someone who is 1,92m having a dad at 1,78m and his mom is just 1,67m
also i know someone being just 1,64m but his dad is 1,83m and his mom about 1,78m
so all the talk about "his dad should be ... his mom is just .. so HE has to be ..." is absolutely bullshit.
Genetics over here (unlike for eye color for example) are just a small part of determinating the height of someone.
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- Jun 30, 2018
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nice that you agree - but really: you should send it to someone who is capable of english very well (best being a native) to do proof-reading.I guess I'll have to look at all of them one by one. Thank you for your help. but i do it by myself and i think i pulled it out before i was ready. I was already thinking of releasing version 0.1 but for now it can stay like this as a demo like 0.01
I would offer help myself, but i am also not native speaker, and i am very busy with other real life stuff right now (probably for the next months).
- Oct 10, 2017
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now we get alike - but you contradict yourself now
As i said: genetics are just a small part of determinating height - but there is no guarantee that small parrents bear small children and also not that children of tall parrents have to be tall themselves - it's likely to be so - yes - but not sure at all.
The question is how tall is the neighbour guy?
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- Jun 30, 2018
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imagine all games being the same - using the same assets - the same setup - the same looks etc ... then we all would cry "BORING" .......
... and now some really complain about MC's height? I agree, it's unusual like that, but NOT impossible - so what? Just because a game presents a situation which is "unusual", it's automatical "wrong"?
Oh - come on guys ......
There's so much to complain about over here in other game threads - you really want to spent your time talking about the height of a MC which is smaller than in other games? (*facepalm)
- Jun 30, 2018
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- Jun 16, 2019
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Another one of those games again. There are so many! Mother, daughter, aunt and cousin; father has left or been killed. Giant dicks and bazookas are often included with a hint of harem. All written in bloody awful English usually with a bit of mind control to boot. FFS where are the story tellers?
- Jun 30, 2018
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probably busy doing their updates for their games already.
Creating VN isn't something you "just" decide to do and succeed. Most new developers don't see the creative work behind a good game.
Most think they can do easy fast money by just scripting some decisions and put them together with few renders and they will get great games.
It's like singing:
Of course everybody could sing in theory - and everybody could make money by performing on stages - but the majority should not even try to sing as they sound horrible - no matter how much they try (me inclussive).
Instead of singing in public, i maybe sing sometimes at home for myself, but i take care that no one other is listening to my crap voice.
Same goes for VN games - some games just should stay private (if a dev wants to do them for his own hobby and pleasure), but never be published.
- Mar 21, 2020
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The title of the game was saying avoid that,but then I saw 3 pages of comments what made me curious. So,having my morning coffee ready I start to read...Didn't think that I'll prolly dream with midgets tonight...