(This is a too long rant post but I needed to vent. Now I can go and have my California burrito in peace).
TLDR: I hate derp MCs... and this one is a little too derpy some of the time.
I will take the opportunity afforded by the pause in our Erynn-a-thon to complain for a minute about the MC's inconsistent behavior. Personally I have a phobia against derpy main characters. I have 140 titles on my reject list and 2/3rd of them are there because of a derp MC.
When I say "derp" I mean any combination of stupid, tentative, overly introspective, self centered, self cockblocking, confused, endlessly question behaviors. The freshwmn MC is a good example but the greatest derp MC of all is from singlagain.
So on to the Intertwined MC. He's really not too bad. He misses some things and he does think when he should act but, in general, I'm not bothered. However there are times when he comes out as both directions... more or less derpy. Here's an example of a line which I think was really great... I mean.. this is what you want to teach your sons to be thinking when giving them the girl talk. On the way to Layla's place for her "first time":
(Get yourself together! Imagine how she must feel.)
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On the other hand (on a Layla run), just before the night out with Layla, you meet your side piece (Gabi) on the street and go back to her house for some quality time. This entire scene is just an endless stream of derpitude. He questions if she should be in the car with her (but not because he has a GF!) then he thinks Gabby and her husband are going want a threesome. They finally get down with each but but wait! The doorbell! It's Layla!
So he's fucking his side piece and his girlfriend shows up at the door. Pretty touchy situation! Not to the MC. He doesn't seem bothered at all and his only thoughts seem to be wondering why Layla needs tutoring as she did well on the last test. Gabi lets Layla in, comes back up stairs and this stupid fuck actually tries to start talking to her! She actually has to shush him to get him to shut up.
Gabi apologizes to him and you'd think he's say it was ok etc but no you get 'I guess I'll leave then (mr mopey)' even though there is obviously no way to get out and not be seen, reinforced by Gabi telling him he can't leave while Layla is there. I was barely making it through the scene and then you get this...
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This makes me want to punch the MC as it's just pure derp. Self centered bullshit.
"Sure, I know it's a crisis situation for Gabi, me and Layla but I might have to wait! Are you kidding me! Wait?! You can't be serious?!"
She tells him yes and she wants him to wait and he comes back with "Seriously?!?!?". Yes you fucking derp, seriously. He's not done doubling down though... here comes the triple...
"Can't you distract her for a while and..." Derp! Once again the risk of getting caught by my girlfriend and destroying our relationship is NOTHING compared to having to wait for a little while. Oh the humanity!
Finally he give in a little but not without expression his displeasure... "*Sigh* (a derpfav word) How long will she be here?" 1.5 hours! How will I ever survive! She offers to get him something to drink and you'd think he'd be grateful but no... "Do you maybe have some food too? I'm kind of hungry." YES oh king derp of the world... everyone should stop doing what they are doing so your side piece can make a grilled cheese sandwich for the guy who's not supposed to be here while Layla waits for her Spanish lesson!
Cherry on top he's so intolerant of waiting and his bored is so painful the only way he can get relief is... you guessed it... to go through her drawers and look at her stuff. At this point in the story I just wanted to load him into a cannon and shoot him out into the ocean.