VN Ren'Py Love & Jealousy [Act 2] [Professor Amethyst Games]

[Elduriel]

I dunno what you guys expect from the game? It's clearly NTR focused, and unless I'm missing something (haven't read the thread too much) it's not gonna suddenly turn into a regular romance game, at most it might move into an NTS direction. So the behavior of both MC and Lacey is completely in line from what you'd see from a typical NTR game. Beta guy mopes around while his girl cheats on him, big whoop.

 

[DeviantFun]

I dunno what you guys expect from the game? It's clearly NTR focused, and unless I'm missing something (haven't read the thread too much) it's not gonna suddenly turn into a regular romance game, at most it might move into an NTS direction. So the behavior of both MC and Lacey is completely in line from what you'd see from a typical NTR game. Beta guy mopes around while his girl cheats on him, big whoop.

You might be right if you look at it superficially.

I know the script of the game quite well, and while I don't play NTR games there is no devolving corruption of the FMC.
She starts as corrupted and tries to get better and make amends, obviously fucking everything up on the way.
She does cheat but it is most of the time on the emotional side more than the "hurr durr big cocks come to me" porn logic.

You make a difficult point to argue with MC, his "emotional growth" sadly is related to forgiving everything and losing his sweet connection between love and sex (very rare in porn games), but he does have some good moments where he lays it down on FMC pretty hard and is not a pushover (until he is again).
Pllus he is cherished by his friends.

 

[JEER0X]

I would put a big X on that "at times"

She is always selfish, honestlly I do not find a single moment where she is not.
Even when trying to "fix" MC "jealousy", instead of giving him a free pass, she does plan a bit of fun for herself.

btw, I am almost done with the edits, can I dm you for a couple of opinions? I'd also like you to read or play it if the offer still stands.
I am not happy with it yet, it is just an initial draft but I woulldn't mind some inputs.

what exactly are you doing?

Please explain the sex addict part, I'd really like to understand, because MC will never withold sex from her and he is described as a sex god that makes girls cum with 3 pumps (the sex scenes could be written better I think).

The way i been seeing the sex addict is this, yes she was doped up and drunk in college and fucked EVERYTHING there's no way you just stop...i don't care if ur on crack, meth or something else, she enjoyed the sex whether she admits it or not and she even denied it before but then admitted it to some degree there is just no way in my mind that she could just stop and not want to do it ever again, yes she says she loves the mc's cock and hes a sex god or whatever doesn't mean she doesn't want variety for fuck sake she knew the people in college by there dick sizes.

The damian thing was not for the MC it was for her and the mc was just her excuse, she's constantly doing flirty things and talking to ex partners even tho she knows the MC wouldn't like it, can it be a coincidence that they showed up but really isn't this town they used to live in far away from the college? how are these people here? why would 2 of the ex lovers magically be in town? then theres all the red flags i keep listing that to me don't add up yes the barty thing even tho no one thinks he's attractive or whatever but sex is sex to an addict and she has said herself she has a oral fixation, and barty says shes great at blowjobs, weird coincidence yet again.

There's the damian thing, the jared and evan thing if the MC didn't catch her in that closet what woulda happened, she was smiling and laughing, she never does that shit and he stated in the hot tub he plowed her, and again someone had there opinions on what really happened cause all we see is all we see yeah he told the MC he was gonna fuck his wife when at the gym and that could contradict what he said in the jacuzzi but that 120hrs, yeah sitting around doing nothing while everyone's partying and doing drugs come on... lacey the party animal did nothin? no fuckin way my dudes.

Then there's the Will thing why leave a note if ur with your girlfriend? no way nothing happened then there's the Jealousy date, man oh man was she wet from that idea yeah a "kink" she has is jealousy . how does she know that? she never had a boyfriend, she never had experienced someone being jealous and it getting her off, she said herself no one cared about her or who she was, she was just a hole to fill she was getting excited to see where or how far the mc would let her go and probably hoped he would let her go far, and u can chose that if u chose that path and now after 3 times telling the MC she doesn't want a open relationship, she does all this time she's been trying to inch the mc into the cuck corner and she's starting to get her way shes pushing her "friends" sex on the MC as a carrot so she can get what she wants too cause now she knows how he feels that if he gets freedom she should have it too so it will go her way in the end most likely and that's what i think about that. i really wish the MC would put his fuckin foot down, i mean she told the MC this open relationship IS GONNA HAPPEN he shoulda said no it's not.


Lacey is a pathological liar, a slut and an emotional manipulator, does she love the MC? i can't answer that maybe she loves the idea of the mc maybe she feels indebted to him for what he did before college but her constantly pushing these sexual things on him is just dumb IMO Shes rewiring his mind to accept the way she wants him to be and to allow her to be a slut thats what i think.

 

[Saphfire]

Lacey is definetely not a sex addict as you try to make her. Reasons have been told you already more then enough.

 

[Maviarab]

can it be a coincidence that they showed up but really isn't this town they used to live in far away from the college? how are these people here? why would 2 of the ex lovers magically be in town?

Something I have thought about myself...

Btw...paragraphs please, difficult to read vast walls of text.

 

[JEER0X]

sorry as i stated I'm not good at writing

Lacey is definetely not a sex addict as you try to make her. Reasons have been told you already more then enough.

"Sex addicts" typically refers to individuals experiencing a compulsive need to engage in sexual activities, often despite negative consequences and a desire to stop ( remember the jealousy date? she wanted the mc to stop her but he misunderstood)



What is the root cause of sex addiction?


One or sometimes several factors can cause sex addiction. The most common causes are changes in brain chemistry and brain pathways, unhealthy stress coping, and a history of trauma or sexual trauma


The sex addict typically struggles to form a deep emotional connection with their partner. This is because their focus is often on the act of sex itself, rather than the emotional bond it can create ( this literally is in the game "difference between love and sex")

this is 2 minutes of google search.


and he asked me to explain my reasoning and so i did.

 

[redoubt27]

how are these people here? why would 2 of the ex lovers magically be in town?

1. Isaac is a pro athlete. He's in the town where his team plays...
2. Lorenzo? Explains when he runs into Lacey at the bar that he got a job at the bank in the town...
3. A plot device... The plot needed them there, so they're there...

Lorenzo and Barty showing up at the apartment...
Lorenzo says he got a strange message from an unknown number giving the address and telling him to go see Lacey.
The MC realizes and says something like I know a setup when I see it, this has Jared written all over it...
Similar with Barty, and I'm willing to bet Isaac got a similar message giving him Lacey's address.
I think it's more than possible that Jared is the one who filmed and posted the MC v Isaac bar confrontation...

As for the rest, you're seeing/expecting the worst of Lacey while ignoring all exculpatory evidence to the contrary.
It's understandable, but it's primarily speculation on your part based on how you perceive Lacey's actions/intent, similarly to the MC, which I don't think is a coincidence. My hypothesis is people read the MC's narrative as some form of or close to the "truth" about the story without even realizing it. I think it's called suggestibility in psychology. In this case, a reader is internalizing the MC's thoughts/feelings about Lacey, influencing the reader's opinion, instead of viewing all evidence critically.

 

[JEER0X]

1. Isaac is a pro athlete. He's in the town where his team plays...
2. Lorenzo? Explains when he runs into Lacey at the bar that he got a job at the bank in the town...
3. A plot device... The plot needed them there, so they're there...

Lorenzo and Barty showing up at the apartment...
Lorenzo says he got a strange message from an unknown number giving the address and telling him to go see Lacey.
The MC realizes and says something like I know a setup when I see it, this has Jared written all over it...
Similar with Barty, and I'm willing to bet Isaac got a similar message giving him Lacey's address.
I think it's more than possible that Jared is the one who filmed and posted the MC v Isaac bar confrontation...

As for the rest, you're seeing/expecting the worst of Lacey while ignoring all exculpatory evidence to the contrary.
It's understandable, but it's primarily speculation on your part based on how you perceive Lacey's actions/intent, similarly to the MC, which I don't think is a coincidence. My hypothesis is people read the MC's narrative as some form of or close to the "truth" about the story without even realizing it. I think it's called suggestibility in psychology. In this case, a reader is internalizing the MC's thoughts/feelings about Lacey, influencing the reader's opinion, instead of viewing all evidence critically.

I suppose I'll die on my hill till the end of the game you could very well be correct as i am playing as the MC i feel what i perceive he is feeling and if i was actually in his shoes this is the way i would see what's happening around me and of course since she has already broken the mc's trust several times i constantly think the worst and what she could be doing behind his back

 

[Maviarab]

I suppose I'll die on my hill till the end of the game you could very well be correct as i am playing as the MC i feel what i perceive he is feeling and if i was actually in his shoes this is the way i would see what's happening around me and of course since she has already broken the mc's trust several times i constantly think the worst and what she could be doing behind his back

And honestly, no one would or could blame you for thinking like that. We as readers/players have benefits and insights that our 'real' MC/selves would not have.

I've said previously I'd have left her a long time ago and I actually do hope that is actually one route. Just have to see if the dev can write well enough.

 

[Surprise & Delight]

sorry for double post but i don't know how i missed the chicken parm dinner after her first therapy session and the Mc's 243 rules i must of been mad at the game and skipped that part cause holly fuck that fucked me up him listing all those rules for her but i noticed something...it was like he was a recording when he listed them and then bam he was normal again, lacey and him just brushed over it like it was no big deal then she went to the living room it was weird. this tells me something new that maybe someone already covered but i am starting to think lacey isn't the fucked up one but the MC is and since we're seeing everything threw his perspective he doesn't realize it yet or maybe they are both fucked up, well we know they are both fucked up but that part in particular i didn't notice before but since i played it slowly and read everything this time that's what i noticed and when lacy leaves the kitchen and is taking notes she seems normal? like really normal like brains working or like she's a therapist or something she seemed almost professional so that's why i am thinking this that the mc is the main problem now that 1 dinner changed my whole perspective

I don't know if it holds any water but I LOVE this possibility.

 

[JEER0X]

And honestly, no one would or could blame you for thinking like that. We as readers/players have benefits and insights that our 'real' MC/selves would not have.

I've said previously I'd have left her a long time ago and I actually do hope that is actually one route. Just have to see if the dev can write well enough.

oh man the dev will have his/her work cut out for them if that can pull that off with as attached the mc is to Lacey ( and vise versa? still don't know how attached she is aside from leeching off him) i don't know how.

I guess i just kind of wanted the one sided thing for the MC if anything and lacey to get her shit together that would be my preferred route a happily ever after would be good in my book too but i really don't know if that's a possibility

 

[Maviarab]

I guess i just kind of wanted the one sided thing for the MC if anything and lacey to get her shit together that would be my preferred route a happily ever after would be good in my book too but i really don't know if that's a possibility

Agree, this would be the best for sure. Act 1 was very sideways...backwards 3 steps...sideways...forward 1 step...back two...sideways again...very hard going at times and a bit of a slog. Said before, like a train wreck you can't turn away from...there has to be some forward progress between them or I fear it will be just more of the the same again which honestly, not sure I could force myself through another update like that.

 

[DeviantFun]

what exactly are you doing?

There are some things I reallly cannot stand about the game:

• MC behaviour and self loathing, so I am trying to rewrite some parts switching his self loathing downturn with some real effects of self loathing such as anger and emotion control, this in my view makes for a pretty damaged MC llike the author wanted to portray, but at least I can avoid imagining him bouncing on a giant dildo llike a little bitch every time he open his mouth (wellll not every time, even in the original script he does have some "manly" moments).
• MC relationship with Mia is nonsensical, he is super angry at Lacey for being a whore and abandoning him but he's completely fine with Mia pushing her to do it (Lacey admits she did all that to please her) plus she hates him and acts like a bitch, 20 minutes after they are best friends and in love, sorry to say but that is just horrible writing, so to respect the author I try to reach the same goal but with a slower burn and some inner struggle from MC.
• MC forgives everyone and never mentions anything about their betrayal, I tried to make MC a bit more reluctant to do that, he still falls to his good nature, but he has some choice words and toughts while doing that, now he really tries to forgive.
• Removed a lot of the american college influence, to me it fellt quite full of racism and sexism, I mean telling Lacey that saying "It is a wife job to help his husband keep his head straight" is anti feminist, is REALLY too much. Or chastizing Jeanette for being black, I spoke about how I feel about this some posts ago.
• Some parts with Bella were, sorry to say, taken from a bottom shelf self help book, I tried to rewrite those so it looks like two humans are having a conversation.
• Anna stops being an enabler most of the time, christine is a bit more viscious to Mia

and many more small changes, oh I also fixed quite a few typos, shame on someone calling himself "professor" and then mixing up "your" and "you're".

I am actually almost done, I am just before the Jeanette date / will event.

I discovered many interesting things, there were different paths planned for Lacey week away,

• Damian could not happen, just a normal week for MC
• Anna sex scene happens as soon as Llacey leaves so MC has sex before Llacey has sex (that part is not even present in the file, but it is implied in an earlier conversation)
• you could actually have said no to Anna sex

I now understand why some parts such as the Jared thing feel so rushed, probably the story was very different at some point.

Spoiler

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Haha I just went through the rewrite for Isaac and man I do feel that Lacey is a lying manipulating slut as you say.
I stilll see a lot of what she says as believable, our MC is a master of reading emotions and he confirms some things.
Plus the discussion in the bathroom the next day (before the rules) seems a pretty big eye opener for Lacey so...

I asked you to explain and I appreciate you did, I don't want to leverage my knowledge on drugs and trauma as an argument but let me say this:

• Lacey non confrontational behaviour is absolutely on point for her kind of trauma
• Her impulse control and cognitive fllexibility are shot, ketamine abuse willl do that to you, I still think it is much more related to her own character than anything else but yeah
• Her behaviour matches another kind of addiction, not related to sex directly, but more on instant gratification, sex could be that but we have no proof whatsoever
• Lacey tells absolutely everything to Mia, even the taste of MC cock, I doubt everything could stay hidden, especially after we see how Mia is open about things AND we get the big secret reveal from her at lunch
• Ketamine does not work exactly as the author says, especially in human doses BUT he does catch some correct points about how it actually helps with depression
• Ketamine will not make sex particularly pleasurable
• If Lacey wanted she could have fucked half the town, she doesn't because that is not what she wants
• She absolutely fucks up with the Damian thing, there are some issues in that whole cchain of events that are not explained well, so I can understand your confusion
• Will is also very dubious, he didn't fuck her, but there is a high chance Llacey told the truth the first time
• An argument coulld be made (I know because I made it myself) that Lacey does enjoy making MC jealous, maybe even without realizing it, she admits that she does feed on his emotions, but I am not sure she would hurt him so much intentionally, once he is lost, she is done.

Yeah the college guys appearing at the same town is just a plot point the author made, we don't need much of an explanation, it woulld be like saying that MC is able to fly or run as the flash, it is what the author decided.
And well the last "scenario" is a bit of a mess as well, really slapped together.

Btw if you push Lacey to accept you sharing her,she cries and you lose good guy points.
Trust the numbers, they don't lie.

 

[DeviantFun]

oh man the dev will have his/her work cut out for them if that can pull that off with as attached the mc is to Lacey ( and vise versa? still don't know how attached she is aside from leeching off him) i don't know how.

I guess i just kind of wanted the one sided thing for the MC if anything and lacey to get her shit together that would be my preferred route a happily ever after would be good in my book too but i really don't know if that's a possibility

Uff you guys post so many interesting points and force me to double post, I need to get back to writing, it's 2 am here.

There is only one route where the couple is broken up or at leasy Mc starts to care less about Lacey.

So what i think will happen is that you coulld start ignoring Lacey wishes and slut her out heavily, making her go back to her college days, maybe without the K.

all this while MC fucks around and maybe shows Lacey his escapades.

He will abuse her that way until either she is a shell again or they find some balance.

Other routes will be kinder to Lacey she won't be shared and willl do threesomes with the other LIs (or just watch)
I am so sad that the bimbofication and bdsm aroutes are separated...

 

[redoubt27]

I suppose I'll die on my hill till the end of the game you could very well be correct as i am playing as the MC i feel what i perceive he is feeling and if i was actually in his shoes this is the way i would see what's happening around me and of course since she has already broken the mc's trust several times i constantly think the worst and what she could be doing behind his back

Nothing wrong with that and I understand it.
The story isn't complete so we don't know what's going to happen.
I've said the possibility exists Lacey is cheating.
However, the story so far has done all it can to alleviate that suspicion and point the story in a certain direction.
It can still shift, pivot, do a 180... Just have to wait and see.

 

[JEER0X]

wait your remaking the game?

 

[Maviarab]

wait your remaking the game?

Rescripting parts of it.

 

[redoubt27]

I don't want to leverage my knowledge on drugs and trauma as an argument but let me say this

I've had to check myself as well...
The dev seems to know some general things, but not completely accurate, precise.
So, can't completely rely on IRL facts, knowledge to accurately predict the story.
Have to infer, limit context to the story.

It's like the age of onset thing I've brought up.
Age of onset for sexual abuse, trauma, in children is a significant factor in development and recovery.
It's not absolute, but there is a very strong correlation relative to the age of onset.

I picked up on what the dev was doing with ketamine, and figured he was setting up, using the age of onset angle as a personality, altered development "starting"/reset points for Lacey and Mia. I could absolutely be wrong, but it seemed to fit with what the dev was doing with ketamine.

 

[DeviantFun]

wait your remaking the game?

I wouldn't dare, it is the author's game.

I just liked it so much that it rekindled my passion for writing, which lured me into rewriting some dialogues I absolutely want to respect the author story.

If it is liked and more people ask for it I would have to get the blessing of the author to make it into a sort of mod I guess.
One easy modification could be made to get the bdsm and slut/bimbo path at once.

Also don't expect much, I believe it is pretty obvious that the author has a good writing style and grasp on the language, I lack both of those things, as my writing skills are rusty as hell, I don't have much free time and english is a second language.

I've had to check myself as well...
The dev seems to know some general things, but not completely accurate, precise.

It's like the age of onset thing I've brought up.
Age of onset for sexual abuse, trauma, in children is a significant factor in development and recovery.
It's not absolute, but there is a very strong correlation relative to the age of onset.

I picked up on what the dev was doing with ketamine, and figured he was setting up, using the age of onset angle as a personality, altered development "starting"/reset points for Lacey and Mia. I could absolutely be wrong, but it seemed to fit with what the dev was doing with ketamine.

Agreed on the precision, just as an example my mind went immediately to the absurd costs Lacey addiction AND dosage (brain damage occours only with massive use) would have incurred into.
A nice touch would have been if she had to start to sell her body to fuel it, I know people that did that with cocaine.

People normally take half a gram MAYBE 1 gram if they have an insane resistance to get serious brain damage you would need to triple that.
The funny thing is that the bladder control and the kidneys usually get damaged as well, it is very convenient that Lacey has only one of the side effects.
I am disappointed because I would have loved to see her pissing herself in public, I guess I am a bit sick eh?

The age of onset is a pretty nice find, I guess I didn't consider it but now that you mention it, it does seem pretty plausible.

 

[redoubt27]

The age of onset is a pretty nice find, I guess I didn't consider it but now that you mention it, it does seem pretty plausible.

Yeah, I said stunted growth/development, instead of using the "clinical" terms, to keep it common rather than technical.
I wasn't sure many would understand if I simply said age of onset...

I'm not an expert by any means, not in the field. But, I know some things, enough (honestly too much that I wish I could forget), and unfortunately have practical experience in past work history.