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Master of Puppets

Conversation Conqueror
Oct 5, 2017
7,552
10,064
Understood, the issue is that the lesbian demographic is not a majority and I had to balance the time I had between rewriting content for guys and for girl scenes. In many scenes, I've offered the player the possibility to avoid an undesired sexual interaction through choices, but there can be better ways later on.
I'm pretty sure that guys who don't like lesbians are relatively few in number. I tried it and while the writing definitely needs some work in some places, the sex scenes with the plants were really hot, I thought they were good. The snake thing too.
 

Hatzel

Newbie
Jan 21, 2020
28
39
It is a complete restructure and this is what I am trying for in the next update. The linear system rushes Emma from scene A to event B, and the system I am going for actually leaves time for the player to develop Emma's character through dialogue and personal choices during events. Everything you've said is correct, there is not a deep enough background to Emma's past sexual experiences so it can make her seem like a non-entity as @fitgirlbestgirl said. One of my targets for the next update is to introduce personality sliders to Emma, so far I only have a SubDom one, but I am going for traits like Kindness, Mischievous and a few others. Corruption is a main theme of the game that I am developing with the next update, and I hope to bring the protagonist to life from the perspective of the player.
Talking about this sub/dom personality trait, something that I was wondering when I saw that "dominant alien" and the option to "talk about the benefits of having both races together" was if there would be a dialogue branch or a storyline that the aliens would enslave the humans oO'

But I disagree with what BUsybat said. I don't think that there is a drawback in female protagonist things related to the plot. The female protagonist can very well "Thrive in exploring different options in winning/forcing their way through to actual sex", it's not the female protagonist needs to be a doll that only reacts to what is happening to her. That's not how sex works in real life either haha
Both genders play their parts in sex, and I think that the female protagonist adds a layer that a male protagonist game can make it feel unnatural, which is the fact that some people will hit on the character more often, so sometimes it can be easier to accept the offer. But still, there can be characters that the female protagonist can try to seduce and make it still feel natural, like some aliens that are not into humans, the other humans that don't necessarily think that the protagonist is their type and so on. In my opinion, the female protagonist game can do everything a male protagonist game can do and more (Except for the having a 'dick' part... which I know that there is the futa thing that can happen but I see this as a third niche... that I'm really not a fan of and if the developer includes it, I would appreciate if it's a feature that we can turn off completely. =P )
 

Spenser4

Member
Jan 8, 2019
110
179
Oh damn, looking so cool! Thank you for sharing and hope this will be glorious game at the end of development:)
 

jezzoo

Newbie
May 12, 2020
32
29
Oh yeah, this is my jam. I love the original setting and once you get into it, there seems to be an actual story in this game. Combine that with competent English and you get a thrilling adventure with erotica spiced on top. Good pacing to the story as well.

I like the graphics, both for environments and characters. The bodies are a bit meh (but good enough for drawn art), but the rest looks really good.

fitgirlbestgirl You're not wrong, the start feels a bit inept, but I think the dev was just learning the ropes then, so I wouldn't judge too harshly. Beginnings can be rough, I wouldn't criticize that we don't know enough about the characters, their motivations.. at the start. The story can reveal all of that. Most books don't start with a detailed description of the characters' history - yeah, in this case it might be better to not provide an intro and just do an in medias res.

Though I haven't finished the game yet, some observations:
  • Alberto's unprofessional behavior at the start made me pause - even if space travel becomes common, that's not someone you'd want to spend months with in close proximity.
  • It's strange how their ship experienced damage, but immediately there as a convenient (unknown) planet nearby to crash on. That's hardly how space travel works, Star Trek logic at best. I understand it's necessary for the story, I'd just welcome a bit of lampshade on that.
  • It's a big coincidence both human ships crashed within walking distance within each other - this better be addressed/explained in the story.
  • I'm not sure how I feel about making the aliens native to that planet (whether it's their homeworld or not). With an intelligent species you'd expect more signs of civilization than a village. This should also be addressed somehow.
I apologize if any of these are explained later.

You are making a porn game, you have to hold yourself to a higher standart than some shitty science "news" site
This actually made me chuckle. I can't tell if you're joking or are serious. And I thought I'd be a nitpicker to start pointing out some plot shortcuts the dev seemed to take.
Worse still, you're not even right about the solar vs star system debate. In casual settings it's perfectly fine, check:

"also : a similar system centered on another star"
Macmillan? Cambridge? They all allow for similar usage.
 
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SugarMint

Member
Game Developer
Feb 5, 2020
106
498
Oh yeah, this is my jam. I love the original setting and once you get into it, there seems to be an actual story in this game. Combine that with competent English and you get a thrilling adventure with erotica spiced on top. Good pacing to the story as well.

I like the graphics, both for environments and characters. The bodies are a bit meh (but good enough for drawn art), but the rest looks really good.

fitgirlbestgirl You're not wrong, the start feels a bit inept, but I think the dev was just learning the ropes then, so I wouldn't judge too harshly. Beginnings can be rough, I wouldn't criticize that we don't know enough about the characters, their motivations.. at the start. The story can reveal all of that. Most books don't start with a detailed description of the characters' history - yeah, in this case it might be better to not provide an intro and just do an in medias res.

Though I haven't finished the game yet, some observations:
  • Alberto's unprofessional behavior at the start made me pause - even if space travel becomes common, that's not someone you'd want to spend months with in close proximity.
  • It's strange how their ship experienced damage, but immediately there as a convenient (unknown) planet nearby to crash on. That's hardly how space travel works, Star Trek logic at best. I understand it's necessary for the story, I'd just welcome a bit of lampshade on that.
  • It's a big coincidence both human ships crashed within walking distance within each other - this better be addressed/explained in the story.
  • I'm not sure how I feel about making the aliens native to that planet (whether it's their homeworld or not). With an intelligent species you'd expect more signs of civilization than a village. This should also be addressed somehow.
I apologize if any of these are explained later.


This actually made me chuckle. I can't tell if you're joking or are serious. And I thought I'd be a nitpicker to start pointing out some plot shortcuts the dev seemed to take.
Worse still, you're not even right about the solar vs star system debate. In casual settings it's perfectly fine, check:

"also : a similar system centered on another star"
Macmillan? Cambridge? They all allow for similar usage.
Alberto's unprofessional behaviour was intentional. The protagonist is, or was in my mind, too excited about the idea of going to space and she did not want to give up because of the boorish attitude of one crewmate. Alberto is there for one reason, he is young and he is an impeccable engineer/mechanic, making him hard to replace on this mission. There was a character in Mass Effect, James Vega. He was picking fights with the player character sometimes and he also was a bit too much "macho", yet he was on that spaceship because he was hard to replace.

The protagonist wakes up from a cryogenic sleep, confused about the surroundings of the crash. I could've expanded more on this crash in the beginning, but I rather chose to do so by having the character research why her ship crashed. Below I will explain a bit, but I will tag it as spoiler.
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I explained the reason why both (not just 2 by the way) human ships crashed around the same area in the spoiler, it will be even more expanded upon in the next version, I do not like plot holes neither.

Regarding your last point, another spoiler tag incoming.
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Many of these plots are planned to be explored thorough the game, there will be a main quest that follows this plotline and side quests that build up the depth of the player's surroundings, for immersion and a more intimate feel from the player to their character.
 
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optico

New Member
Jun 29, 2017
9
8
Just because others get it wrong, doesnt mean you should blindly copy their mistakes. You are making a porn game, you have to hold yourself to a higher standart than some shitty science "news" site (and that one is really not all that great, exhibit A, the incorrect use of "solar system").

Fun fact: "Sun" is another name for our star Sol. Meaning that if you are on a planet, look up and see the sun, you are in the solar system, e.g. on Earth. If you are not in our system, you would see "a star", not "the sun". Going around that is cumbersome and weird though, so every piece of isekai fiction I recall just goes with "sun", and I approve. I do not approve of "another solar system".
The correct term in this case would be planetary system. Solar system refers to our system like you mentioned while star system refers to a group of several stars bound by gravity from binary stars to (technically) galaxies. Planetary system means planets orbiting a star.
 

COSE0779

Newbie
Dec 21, 2018
24
20
Damn, this looks promising. A nice character creation system is always good, and it looks awesome for a 0.0.5. I'm totally gonna play this, and I'm gonna play the shit out of it when it is finished.
 
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Master of Puppets

Conversation Conqueror
Oct 5, 2017
7,552
10,064
Alberto's unprofessional behaviour was intentional. The protagonist is, or was in my mind, too excited about the idea of going to space and she did not want to give up because of the boorish attitude of one crewmate. Alberto is there for one reason, he is young and he is an impeccable engineer/mechanic, making him hard to replace on this mission. There was a character in Mass Effect, James Vega. He was picking fights with the player character sometimes and he also was a bit too much "macho", yet he was on that spaceship because he was hard to replace.
Yeah, he is the only competent engineer among billions of humans? That stretches credibility way past the breaking point.
 
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SugarMint

Member
Game Developer
Feb 5, 2020
106
498
Yeah, he is the only competent engineer among billions of humans? That stretches credibility way past the breaking point.
Reality has shown us that there are ways people can reach positions they want without actually being the best candidates and they're usually hard to remove from these positions even if their behaviour is not acceptable, they don't even receive any kind of scrutiny most of the time. Consider the fact that the world within Malevolent Planet is still multilingual, so you have one candidate that can speak English, Spanish (meaning he can also has an experience with learning foreign languages which can come in handy), is a competent engineer, is young, and if we have to assume that his parents or anybody that preferred him was closely connected to the upper people of the International Space Academy, then everything is possible.

I'm not saying he's the only competent engineer, and there are not billions of young people who are engineers neither. I did not describe the setting very well, but you can assume that population growth has slowed down due to the resources scarcity so there may not be that many people in the position to fill this role. The main reason why Earth is sending people on these main expeditions is due to the fact that Earth inhabitants, in order to survive for a longer period, need to find a habitable planet since Earth has gotten polluted from the extensive ways of resource gathering.

Nonetheless, it's a good feedback because I can get into it more when the protagonist interacts with Alberto.
 

Master of Puppets

Conversation Conqueror
Oct 5, 2017
7,552
10,064
Reality has shown us that there are ways people can reach positions they want without actually being the best candidates and they're usually hard to remove from these positions even if their behaviour is not acceptable, they don't even receive any kind of scrutiny most of the time. Consider the fact that the world within Malevolent Planet is still multilingual, so you have one candidate that can speak English, Spanish (meaning he can also has an experience with learning foreign languages which can come in handy), is a competent engineer, is young, and if we have to assume that his parents or anybody that preferred him was closely connected to the upper people of the International Space Academy, then everything is possible.

I'm not saying he's the only competent engineer, and there are not billions of young people who are engineers neither. I did not describe the setting very well, but you can assume that population growth has slowed down due to the resources scarcity so there may not be that many people in the position to fill this role. The main reason why Earth is sending people on these main expeditions is due to the fact that Earth inhabitants, in order to survive for a longer period, need to find a habitable planet since Earth has gotten polluted from the extensive ways of resource gathering.

Nonetheless, it's a good feedback because I can get into it more when the protagonist interacts with Alberto.
Doesn't change a thing. The 'only man for the job' trope is such a stupid one. It's lazy writing to excuse shoehorning in a character that can't stand on his own merits.
 

e-disfunction

Active Member
Jun 1, 2019
731
726
Just because others get it wrong, doesnt mean you should blindly copy their mistakes. You are making a porn game, you have to hold yourself to a higher standart than some shitty science "news" site (and that one is really not all that great, exhibit A, the incorrect use of "solar system").

Fun fact: "Sun" is another name for our star Sol. Meaning that if you are on a planet, look up and see the sun, you are in the solar system, e.g. on Earth. If you are not in our system, you would see "a star", not "the sun". Going around that is cumbersome and weird though, so every piece of isekai fiction I recall just goes with "sun", and I approve. I do not approve of "another solar system".
I agree with the basics of your statements (personally I would choose "planetary system") but you might need to also consider this from the perspective of the people who live there. Wouldn't they see their star as "Sun" or "Sol" just like we see our star? And since the best, perhaps *only*, translation into our languages would be "Sun" or "Sol", why wouldn't we give them that consideration and call it "their solar system"? :unsure:

As a parallel, most every culture on Earth refers to its members as some type of "human" and outsiders or strangers as "not-human". As we have come to understand that other cultures might contain "humans", too, our thoughts and word-usages evolved with those changes. (Example: in ancient Egypt, the word used for stranger/foreigner was the same word used for "ghost"--because only ghosts could live in the deserts that surround Egypt and Egypt is where eveyone that matters comes from, right?) :oops:

If we were the *only* beings in and around the game's other-star's system then we can refer to it as "star system", but if other people already call it home perhaps they should have some say in what it is called. (y)

e-d
 

smite2001

Member
Game Developer
Dec 10, 2017
122
800
Worse still, you're not even right about the solar vs star system debate. In casual settings it's perfectly fine
This is very much not a casual setting. What you refer to is the principle that sometimes, when enough people make a mistake often enough, smart/knowledgeable people can't be bothered to correct them anymore. It's the same with "literally" (can be used to mean figuratively) or using "could care less" (wrong) "could not care less" (correct) interchangeably to describe that something doesn't interest you.

I agree with the basics of your statements (personally I would choose "planetary system") but you might need to also consider this from the perspective of the people who live there.
The author used it to describe the view from Earth/solar system people's perspective. There is loads more leeway when it comes to natives of another system. Although them calling their star specifically "Sol" as well would be ridiculous.


And just to make that clear, I'm not angry or anything, take my perceived seriousness with a fistful of salt. All this is meant for fun and as constructive criticism for a problem that can be easily fixed once understood. This is a science fiction novel, so use as much actual science as possible.
 

e-disfunction

Active Member
Jun 1, 2019
731
726
This is very much not a casual setting. What you refer to is the principle that sometimes, when enough people make a mistake often enough, smart/knowledgeable people can't be bothered to correct them anymore. It's the same with "literally" (can be used to mean figuratively) or using "could care less" (wrong) "could not care less" (correct) interchangeably to describe that something doesn't interest you.


The author used it to describe the view from Earth/solar system people's perspective. There is loads more leeway when it comes to natives of another system. Although them calling their star specifically "Sol" as well would be ridiculous.


And just to make that clear, I'm not angry or anything, take my perceived seriousness with a fistful of salt. All this is meant for fun and as constructive criticism for a problem that can be easily fixed once understood. This is a science fiction novel, so use as much actual science as possible.
*They* wouldn't call it "Sol"--but, as I said, that might be the only correct translation we are able to provide for ourselves from their language. The *meaning* of a "Name" is as or more important to people than the actual definition of the words in the name.

(Examples: *They* might call their dogs, "P*&^%$#!fs", But since we can't pronounce that *and* those things look, act, and sound like Earth-dogs, *we* are likely to call them "dogs". They might call their star "(somethingincomprehensiblelight)" that seems very much like why we call our star, "Sun" or "Sol", we will likely call it "their Sun".)

BTW, the author is also aware--but the reader will find out, soon--that the system is inhabited, so we can cut them some slack in this instance. As a science enthusiast--as am I--you might want to apply scientific observation to the literature and ask, "So, why did the author call it a 'solar system' rather than a 'star system'? Is the author perhaps using the phrase chosen--accidently or with purpose--correctly?" [Yes, Godzilla the monster is an abomination of all things real (and scientific, too). But the idea that humans must deal with the results of their abuses and mismanagement of technology is science fiction! Now, if we could get movie makers to focus on that type of conflict that has few visual effects and demands that viewers think about ideas and consequences rather than passively watch adventures, then they probably wouldn't make the movie ...]

And, I thoroughly understand your desire for science in science fiction (see "Godzilla", above), but anthropology, biology, and linguistics are sciences, too--and understanding of those will help us temper *our* misapplication of sciences because of our humanocentric biases that creep into physical sciences because we are human. Remember biases--thoses things we try to remove from our observations and conclusions through scientific processes? Even photosynthesis cells in plants use the quantum particle/wave duality of light otherwise photosynthesis would be too slow--and that is *very* basic biology, but the field of physics wouldn't have believed that only 40 years ago! (Trust me, I was there, fighting against both my physics AND biology teachers on that exact subject ... because they each were biased against the other "sciences"--their quotation marks, not mine.)

e-d

P.S.: The phrase "solar system" is humano-centric, as you have pointed out. But forcing other cultures to call their homes "star systems" is also humano-centric ...
Edit: added P.S.
 
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mrme

Active Member
Nov 8, 2017
966
1,067
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
Your feedback comes across a lot better if you act less like a smart ass on a sperg rage, Sheldon.

View attachment 692859
"IN THE SPACE, NO ONE CAN HEAR YOU SCREAM"

EDIT: dat art... MC looks like Black Widow :giggle:, no male character so, time to follow jerk off instructions.
I'd assumed Jane Shepherd
1592311412138.png

Speaking of Black Widow...
SugarMint As for the body types, I would suggest labelling the current 'curvy' body type to be thicc, thin to be curvy
And for a thin body type use Femshep above or look at Scarlet Johanson's naked body for reference on how to do a thin but not skinny body with a nice rack

1592311279533.png


Edit:
Oh, as for corruption please don't follow CoC's example, which every bloody corruption game feels a need to follow, of starting off the main character as already loving getting raped (also, please don't put dicks on everything).
Its boring and you may as well not bother with corruption at that rate.
Add a starting corruption option if you must.
 
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jezzoo

Newbie
May 12, 2020
32
29
I finished the demo, and I liked it. You outline a very ambitious future for this game at the end. Sounds a bit too complex to me, but if you feel like you have what it takes, go for it.

Story discussion:
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One thing that bothered me at times, even later on in the game, the dialogue is often in this weird formal, aloof style. The characters talk to each other as if they were writing letters from the 18th century. This is what the MC says in reply to Anna's praise about a good job done:

"I am very happy to see you as well, Anna. I feel as if the last pieces of energy in my body are rushing to get released, so please continue."

But it's not just the writing style. The design of the UI with the portraits makes for large speech boxes, and this may be leading you to write longer prose than a normal response should be. This is in contrast to VN engines like RenPy, whose default UI forces the writer to break up dialogue into shorter chunks.
In dialogue, you also rarely use descriptive text (you sometimes put it between dialogue boxes). The result works fine for formal speeches, or when an NPC is explaining something complex, but it's not a good fit for natural dialogue.

In short, the way you write is not how people talk to each other. Pick up any book and look at the average length of each response, and also other information conveyed, like expressions, thoughts, actions. This may be what fitgirlbestgirl was referring to.


A couple of random edits:

"All you need to do for now is tell me Elga'neth is and I will be on my way."
I guess you're missing a "where" in that sentence.

"The alien is setting its light rays upon the earth, marking the beginning of a new day."
Probably missing a "sun" there.

"You have been by the slithered-tongue Mag'nath!"
A verb is missing.

Please fix Zdramath's profile pic filename. The filename starts with Z, the link starts with z. This fails to display on case sensitive OS's.
 
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SugarMint

Member
Game Developer
Feb 5, 2020
106
498
It doesn't seem to work on Safari
Is there an error? It is possible that you need to set Safari to have access over the local storage.

The preferred browser to use is Chrome most of the time, followed by Firefox, as they work better with more special CSS classes in general.
 
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