NewTricks

Forum Fanatic
Nov 1, 2017
4,268
9,194
I'm not a good write, but I do what I can. and there is another scene with the main girl in xmas event.
Don't be hard on yourself. Let these wise asses write in their second language and see how far they get. I've enjoyed the story so far. The characters are lively and interesting. It could benefit from some editing but frankly, that is the case with most games on this site.
 
  • Like
Reactions: BigDaddyDom

swelldude

Newbie
Feb 7, 2020
82
155
OMG, it's a bunch of useless dialog, annoying side characters, and it's like watching an 80s soap opera. Judas Priest, GET ON WITH IT! If it was interesting, that would be different, but it's all stupid crap uttered by morons. You could cut out 70% of the crap in this "game" and maybe you'd have something entertaining. Useless waste of developer time? Marcus and Santiago. The guy friend in porn games are an annoyance, not a positive, any guy friend, especially those that blabber on and on and on and on and won't shut up. Get rid rid of those characters and nobody would miss them at all. Seriously, Marcus has the most dialog in the game... seriously. WTF? When you meet the girl's friends, who do you talk to the most? Santiago, he just blabbers on and on, go away. WTF?

Then there's this 80s soap opera emotional jealousy bullshit. If I want to watch the Lifetime Channel, I would have tuned in. I mean it happens over and over, from one character to the next. That's annoying. This whole game you might as well put ice on your dick and needles in your eyes, because it's pretty much the equivalent.

This game needs a rework and some major editing, but the story premise has merit.

Flame me all you want, but I just couldn't handle it anymore. I really thought this was going to be a good game, nope.
 

MrD812

Well-Known Member
Oct 24, 2021
1,324
1,752
From my perspective, not sure it's going to change and i agree on everything You share for the most part.
May be best
OMG, it's a bunch of useless dialog, annoying side characters, and it's like watching an 80s soap opera. Judas Priest, GET ON WITH IT! If it was interesting, that would be different, but it's all stupid crap uttered by morons. You could cut out 70% of the crap in this "game" and maybe you'd have something entertaining. Useless waste of developer time? Marcus and Santiago. The guy friend in porn games are an annoyance, not a positive, any guy friend, especially those that blabber on and on and on and on and won't shut up. Get rid rid of those characters and nobody would miss them at all. Seriously, Marcus has the most dialog in the game... seriously. WTF? When you meet the girl's friends, who do you talk to the most? Santiago, he just blabbers on and on, go away. WTF?

Then there's this 80s soap opera emotional jealousy bullshit. If I want to watch the Lifetime Channel, I would have tuned in. I mean it happens over and over, from one character to the next. That's annoying. This whole game you might as well put ice on your dick and needles in your eyes, because it's pretty much the equivalent.

This game needs a rework and some major editing, but the story premise has merit.

Flame me all you want, but I just couldn't handle it anymore. I really thought this was going to be a good game, nope.
Sad but true.
 

NewTricks

Forum Fanatic
Nov 1, 2017
4,268
9,194
OMG, it's a bunch of useless dialog, annoying side characters, and it's like watching an 80s soap opera. Judas Priest, GET ON WITH IT! If it was interesting, that would be different, but it's all stupid crap uttered by morons. You could cut out 70% of the crap in this "game" and maybe you'd have something entertaining. Useless waste of developer time? Marcus and Santiago. The guy friend in porn games are an annoyance, not a positive, any guy friend, especially those that blabber on and on and on and on and won't shut up. Get rid rid of those characters and nobody would miss them at all. Seriously, Marcus has the most dialog in the game... seriously. WTF? When you meet the girl's friends, who do you talk to the most? Santiago, he just blabbers on and on, go away. WTF?

Then there's this 80s soap opera emotional jealousy bullshit. If I want to watch the Lifetime Channel, I would have tuned in. I mean it happens over and over, from one character to the next. That's annoying. This whole game you might as well put ice on your dick and needles in your eyes, because it's pretty much the equivalent.

This game needs a rework and some major editing, but the story premise has merit.

Flame me all you want, but I just couldn't handle it anymore. I really thought this was going to be a good game, nope.
Who is flaming you? You are entitled to your opinion. Breaking down what you are saying into pertinent points, you in general have issues with the story because it focuses too much on elements that are not conducive to erotic enjoyment. This is a valid critique. You also feel that there is a paucity of erotic content. My only concern is that this level of consternation caused by the game is driving you to feelings that are perhaps too drastic and causing ideations of self-harm. Do not ice your dick or needle your eyes, please. You could have stated all of this more artfully but it doesn't necessarily invalidate the point. Even for those of us who, like myself, enjoy the game seem to have a consensus that there is certainly room for improvement and that the story isn't going to work for everyone. I am not a fan of the entire work subplot, myself. It seems like it may result in blackmailing the boss for sex or something and I really don't care about her one way or another. Verde is active on this board and has stated in the past that their work isn't perfect, so most of us on the board are trying to give constructive criticism so that the game can improve. But if you are done with the game and wish to exit the thread with this Jerry Maguire moment more power to you. Go in peace.
 
  • Like
Reactions: MD27 and Pocoyo21

Deleted member 1571716

Conversation Conqueror
Aug 7, 2019
6,352
10,082
Not sure wtf is going on that prompted that post, as I haven't kept up with the post here, because I'm just not a fan of multi-protag games and I also don't play female protags. But, if that post you made is due to whiners and naysayers, fuck them. You should write the story your way. Listening to the naysayers will always complicate things. Do it your way. Take your time with the storyline and progress as slow or fast as you want. Don't let others push you. Just my opinion which means fuck-all except to myself.
 
  • Like
Reactions: NewTricks

NewTricks

Forum Fanatic
Nov 1, 2017
4,268
9,194
Not sure wtf is going on that prompted that post, as I haven't kept up with the post here, because I'm just not a fan of multi-protag games and I also don't play female protags. But, if that post you made is due to whiners and naysayers, fuck them. You should write the story your way. Listening to the naysayers will always complicate things. Do it your way. Take your time with the storyline and progress as slow or fast as you want. Don't let others push you. Just my opinion which means fuck-all except to myself.
I tend to agree that Devs should tune out the "noise" that comes in the course of feedback about their games. Like when someone is making a harem or an NTR game and some rando drops on the board and says that they don't like that kind of game. Well, that is the game genre and you, my friend, are on the wrong thread. So that isn't the helpful kind of criticism. You have to make the game that you are making. This is in essence an incest and corruption game. There are folks who aren't going to like this game for that reason, and as you said changing the game for people who will never play it and never like it isn't a recipe for success.

So what is the kind of feedback the dev should listen to? That's a little bit tougher to define. I would suggest that it is something you hear that you feel is true, almost like a thought of your own that you haven't had yet. Something that makes sense for your story and is good for your story. If you get this feeling in the course of reading your critics, that is the time to make a change. Otherwise, you probably are just going to fall prey to groupthink and it is going to bog down your project and kill all joy you had in creating it.
 

BigDaddyDom

Well-Known Member
Mar 4, 2020
1,406
1,727
Well, at least you admitted doing what we already know too many other devs do, adding side stories to slow down progress of the main story. Hope you'll advance the story most of us are actually interested in, the MC's relationship with the daughter character.

People will actually continue following the game if the main story/characters advance - people actually lose interest if development drags on and there's no reward or end in sight. It's really the exact opposite of what devs think
 

NewTricks

Forum Fanatic
Nov 1, 2017
4,268
9,194
Well, at least you admitted doing what we already know too many other devs do, adding side stories to slow down progress of the main story. Hope you'll advance the story most of us are actually interested in, the MC's relationship with the daughter character.

People will actually continue following the game if the main story/characters advance - people actually lose interest if development drags on and there's no reward or end in sight. It's really the exact opposite of what devs think
I think side stories are not bad per se. It just depends on the extent to which it derails the overarching story. The logline of this story is this: A father and daughter are reunited after being kept apart with a lie and struggle with their attraction to one another. There are a lot of twists and turns that this story can take on its own. Even if they do give in to the temptation that isn't the end of the story, it is just the beginning of the complications.

The central dramatic tension of the piece is whether or not their love can survive their lust or if their desires will ruin everything. So every scene that doesn't engage with this central question weakens the plot structure. Even the best of professional writers make this same mistake. But they usually have an editor to tell them "We need more of the secret that the coworker's wife is withholding from Fernanda and less of the affair with the janitor's daughter" before it is published. That is one of the downfalls of the way that Patreon operates with its publish or perish model. Basically, paying customers are getting rough drafts. Pages and pages of the coworker being Mr exposition man, talking about how many different ways he ruined everybody's life with his fecklessness and incompetence.

Make no mistake, you have to cut out everything that isn't the story, but that is easier said than done when programming and rendering are involved. I'm not sure how the work crime subplot that has taken so much oxygen from the rest of the story helps us explore the relationship between MC and his daughter. In the beginning, it gave her a reason to be frightened, which did impact some of her decisions. It did give them a chance to perform a heist together, which was a bonding exercise. So it wasn't completely useless. Maybe it will come to something eventually. Put Fernanda in jeopardy and give MC the chance to be a hero. Or, who knows? Maybe Fernanda gets to be the hero and MC the damsel in distress. That would be a good mirror to how he saved her mother, only to have it happen much later that he ended up being saved by their daughter. But this is all idle speculation. How the storyline unfolds from this point will be up to Verde and how well the story beats are executed.

But the beauty of it is that the story can be fixed. It's going to take a lot of effort, mind you, but I think that there is a good game still to be had from this project.
 

Tatsuya25

Member
Feb 26, 2022
308
510
best to do a line of story first and most ... like with the daughter and 1 or 2 more girls ... then add more content , as a chapter 2 , 3 and so , wuth the right plot can go forward a bunch... bu hope he at least do the main story . ... mafia can come after or on the middle ... vote it
 

MrD812

Well-Known Member
Oct 24, 2021
1,324
1,752
Was unable to complete the last release.
Drags on a weeee bit to much for me.
Lots of potential here.

How's this release doing?
 
  • Like
Reactions: pochops
3.40 star(s) 21 Votes