- Apr 11, 2022
- 2,495
- 14,703
1.- The *Laugh* is where it's needed. Perhaps it's my way of talking or my sense of humor, but a lot of times I start a sentence in a totally serious tone to end it with a joke. That bleeds into my writing style. Other times the *Laugh* is at the start of the sentence, because the person saying it is actually laughing. After reading your comment, I've written several scenes, considering where the *Laugh* should be for every sentence. I have changed a couple of the locations, but most of them remained where I originally planned.No-no, it is not like they should have any problems with it. I do understand this perspective, but the thing i was talking about is that they way too eager for itI mean, 18yo is just the beginning of their adulthood. And pregnancy on its own is important step and a lot of responsibility is involved in this case. But they do act like there is no tomorrow
As for feedback:
1- in complex dialogues: jokes are marked with *laught* in the end. Might be good idea to mark it in the start instead. Like *laught* text instead of text *laught*. For people who are not have English as native lang it might be much more easy to understand the mood or tone of the line from the start as they will be reading it slower. For example, i am not translating anything but reading slower. Sometimes i am not getting it right away and in my case its kinda blends. Not really important but just makes things smoother for people without fluent level
2- at some point "my love/my life" starts to seem a bit mechanic due to harem expansion. Might be good to add some more "sweetheart", "sweety", "honey", etc. I mean, making this lines more personalized might be a lot of work in general, but will improve text on my opinion.
3- not sure if its local thing or just personal, but looks like everyone likes jazz and Cava
PS: only my opinion and i was thinking it might be useful. Usually i am not bothered much, but your work is really cool so i decided to drop my point of view here.
2.- "Sweety" is used in that family for the (older) ladies to refer to the younger ones. When I tried to use "honey", someone told me in the US it's used more for married couples, so I stopped using it. But, as always when writing, my personal life transfers to the characters. I've been calling my wife "my life" and "sky" (it makes sense in Spanish) for the last 23 years. I haven't used her real name for the last 20 years when talking directly to her (it would be useful if I had a lover to not confuse names
). And the great thing about a harem (like My Dorm's) is that the MC is in love with every one of the girls. So calling them "my love" or "my life" is totally fitting. When he's with one of them, the others don't exist in his mind.3.- Nope. The MC likes Cava and he orders it when he goes on a date (settling for Prosecco when there isn't another option). Norah, the one who makes the home purchases, doesn't have any preference about gassed wines, so she goes with what the MC (the only one with a preference) likes. She likes red wine and there are always some bottles at home. Look at her kitchen, on the left side of the counter, and you will see a big wine fridge. About Jazz, the place is called Jazz Corner, but it's been stated that, on weekends, they play varied music. Daphne likes pop (Taylor "Shift" has been named). Erika likes electro-goth. Erika/Daphne/Emma/Scarlett like disco (remember the ABBA song scene)
Thanks!Geez! Don't everybody get bent out of shape about whether she'll still be deaf or not in 22 years. Whether "her" hearing loss or recovery will be fixed 22 years from now is not an issue for me. Heck, at MY current age I'LL be DEAD from "old age" 22 years from now. And that's even with the CURRENT genetically altered medical treatment I'm receiving for my current disease. Just sayin'.
(Keep up the good work Trope. It's a great "fantasy" story you have produced.
I don't think I will be walking this world in 22 years either (unless there's a zombie apocalypse and I become one
)But the 22 year gap is between the end-game and the epilogue. I hope to not take that long to write it. But considering the last 20 in-game days took 830 real-world days to write...
It all depends on which direction NTR evolves. Obviously, the cloning will be gone as we know it. They already diversified into high-tech medical equipment, so having Jamaal walk once again is a possibility down the road. How will it be done? That's something I prefer to keep secret until it's done.
No, she won't be cured of vitiligo. With expensive treatments, we (real-world) can stop its spread, but can't reverse it. Kim will make peace with her vitiligo, so even if a reversal treatment (that would make her 100% black-skinned once again) was discovered in the next 22 years, she won't use it. It will become part of her identity.
As I wrote above, Kim won't be fixed because there's nothing wrong with her. Jamaal will get an improvement in his quality of life.I find myself wanting to (mildly) injure a horse now so that I can offer myself as a subsitute.
Coward!!
Honestly, I find the discussion following this cmment to be a bit jarring and (super ironically) tone deaf. Deafness is for my money the most isolating 'disability' and the one I would have tbe hardest time with by far. But to compensate for that in part, traditionally the deaf community is often a very closely knit and supportive one, and many would see the discussion of "cures" as very rude or insensitive at best (cochlear implants were quite controversial, for example). I find it ironic that in a game where diversity and appreciation of characters with all kinds of backgrounds and differences is a major theme that some members of this community are so quick to talk about "fixing" deafness/vitiligo/spinal injuries, etc..
Trope is as open minded as any dev I can think of. It's all of us "white knights" you have to be afraid of.
The issue is with Scarlett. Unlike Kim or Jamaal, she is concerned about her condition. It's something that sours her character and her future perspectives (even if she has accepted her fate). It makes sense for her to, having the means, try to investigate a cure/fix for her genetic disorder. If not for her, at least for other kids in the future to not go through what she and her mother have experienced.
I worked for an organization of blind people (O.N.C.E. in 2004-07) and it was one of the most enriching experiences in my professional life. One of my bosses said (on national TV, nonetheless) that he was used to being blind, but he would give an arm to recover his sight for ten minutes to see his wife naked one more time.
With Scarlett, I tried to move that feeling to deafness. She knows that she will be 100% deaf in the future, but she would give an arm to stop it from arriving at that point. If she isn't able to do it in time (she won't) she will try to find a way to stop it for future kids (including hers).
"Curing" her, and restoring her melanin would make her entirely black once again. But, as I wrote above, she has/will make peace with her vitiligo, so she won't undergo any treatment (to restore her previous skin condition). At most, one to stop it from spreading more.
And, certainly, she's based on (a less famous version of) Winnie Harlow.
Which version and on which platform do you play?height is blank for me in the profiles why ?
My stats classes are more than 30 years behind me, so perhaps my (ChatGPT) calculations were wrong, although I told it that A+B was the same as B+A.Trope95 I know you like going on about how many different endings there will be by throwing out some huge number, which might be correct if you were not ignoring that some combinations will be duplicated. IE a Scarlet and Emma ending would be the same as an Emma and Scarlet ending. So now your workload has been decreased and we don't want to hear any more excuses about the endings and epilogues.
And I (try to) never use excuses. The design choices were mine and I'm the only culprit of any issues down the road. Making excuses would waste time that could be used to find a solution.
