a lot of suggestions so here's mine. only consider the meta-criticisms: few save spots/no recollection room, very short/abbreviated game. your taste is good. you should be confident in your own story as you expand your game
- Thread starter Fanorase
- Start date
yeah, so I really like this suggestion. Doing it in this way would actually fix an issue I would've had further down the line where you would get an option to let the GF go on her own. I'm a big fan of the "minigame" where you have to go around the map looking for a love interest that's doing something in secret. So I was having trouble figuring out how exactly I'd do that. This way would give me a few options. I'm already thinking of some scenarios where such build ups can happen. And it'll make the progression I had in mind make so much more fucking sense LMFAO. Great suggestion.
Yep! I agree. As of right now, I'll keep going with her having unprotected sex with her ex just to finish up what I have in mind. I think it'll hit even harder after considering other options for buildup, where she'll use condoms with everyone else before. (Yuuji's the main story, just in case I'm not beating a dead horse here LOL). It's just what I find hot.
But when I finish that route up, I have an idea of a variable system that'll be decided through dialogue about how scenes will go: where the MC makes all the choices, GF does, or somewhere in between. So in the mid-point where the GF wants to go raw with yuuji, if the player skewed more towards a dominant/confident persona previously, he will get the decision if she can or not. That's a waaaaay down the line thought, though, so I'll stick with what I'm doing for now lmao.
I put out this prologue exactly because I wanted productive critiquing so I'm glad to hear it.
Overall big agree. I've been writing stories since I was a kid, and my biggest problem even 'til now is making the small meaningful moments in between the climactic ones. So... Guess that's something I can work on here for once lol. But rewriting something like this should be easy (fingers crossed). Finishing up this prologue took, I dunno, a couple months? Most of that time was spent learning how the fuck to do anything basically LOL. (I didn't know how event movement worked until two weeks ago, and efficient in-game images until last week).
You make a real good point on that last part. Definitely gonna keep that in mind.
Thanks y'all for the comments! It's definitely helped broaden my horizon on how to make this better.
The plan right now is to continue what I originally had in mind, while trying to have much, much better pacing, player agency, and flow in order to make the GF's sluttiness feel more earned.
Here's a rough sneak peek of an idea I have for a first event after the confession.
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- Jun 3, 2020
- 3,067
- 3,538
Loving the start of your game, good luck with it. The gf is such a cutie and I love cuties. Would love to see her bending over in that schoolgirl uniform wearing transparent panties, flashing the class. How about a parttime job in a cafe with very handy customers, or better yet in a sleazy bar where she has to wear a skimpy outfit to entice tips from her groping and molesting drunk customers? Her bf (us) sometimes visits her and has to endure her being groped by other guys, and she loves knowing that you are watching her and she even enjoys it, knowing it torches you.
As she gets more corrupted, she even starts to accept money from customers for special favors in the restroom, and you spy on her and she knows you are watching.
On the train or bus, she flashes riders and sometimes gets groped right in front of you, even when you go to the movies, other guys are trying to get their hands on her.
I was just thinking, it would be really awesome if we players could change her hair and eye color to our liking. Just a thought. She is so beautiful, love her tits size, they are perfect.
As she gets more corrupted, she even starts to accept money from customers for special favors in the restroom, and you spy on her and she knows you are watching.
On the train or bus, she flashes riders and sometimes gets groped right in front of you, even when you go to the movies, other guys are trying to get their hands on her.
I was just thinking, it would be really awesome if we players could change her hair and eye color to our liking. Just a thought. She is so beautiful, love her tits size, they are perfect.
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This is/was planned! I'm shit at making maps, so right now there aren't any bus or train scenes (even though i want them), so that's later down the line.
As for jobs, the main plan was to have the MC take on jobs, and after a couple times, the GF would show up and eventually have fun with either coworkers or customers while you're there. There is specifically an event chain I still have planned for bikini maids if that's up your alley lmfao.
This too is probably gonna be late in development, but just know I have it in mind.
Will there be a Ending the GF will ditch the MC for other? or will she stay with him no matter what happen to her? or you will have both ending? Also any possible swinging with other? like her GF want him to have sex with other Girls too. Also At some point would she end up falling to cheating behide him without letting him know?
- Jun 10, 2017
- 294
- 223
Hahaha
I see, i did say it might not be the case with this game, and apologize if what i said was a bit harsh, just that it happens so much with this niche that we all get kinda doubtful.
Reading the comments it's seems some of them have helped you giving your take and get some good advice, might be a little repetitive, but if I were to say something, it's again to really focus on the pacing and escalation with this genre, the majority don't want to see a sudden willingness to go all the way with complete strangers.
So Defining milestones to what she is willing to do and how reaching them change their interactions is a good thing to keep in mind.
But i do get now that this was more of a showcase.
Good luck with the game!
- Dec 4, 2022
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Man I was excited to try this until I saw it's yet another fast-tracked NTS game with pretty much no buildup. Also what's this about other guys getting to creampie his girlfriend before he even gets too? That's a yikes from me bruh. I hope she's at least on birth control, it's already bad enough she's letting others cum inside her before her boyfriend.
I won't completely write it off yet, I'll come back to check after there's been some updates, but so far not impressed.
I won't completely write it off yet, I'll come back to check after there's been some updates, but so far not impressed.
This is great netorase is rare to come by I'm looking forward for the nexts parts bytw when can we expect it ?
I haven't read too many other comments, but here's my two cents.
1) Prologue should end when they discuss his fetish. I feel like this is a good time to separate the lead up to the real story.
2) Sex scenes after the prologue need some type of player input or control. This includes the first time when Kanade approaches Yuuji. This could be as simple as a prompt at your desk that allows you to nod at her, or peaking out your window into her house to watch her with someone in her bed.
3) Please add some indicator for area transitions. You have multiple paths in each area, but some don't move you to a new area. Maybe at some point you plan to fill all these spots in, but until then, some blue or white arrows at the transition points would be helpful.
Let's switch to the good.
I've seen a few comments that the transition from vanilla to cuck is rushed. And I agree, but I think it fits. These aren't two adults with several relationships each who know what they want. These are two teens in what amounts to their first relationship exploring a kink they know nothing about. It makes sense they don't have a talk about boundaries until after they've passed that point. It makes sense they rush into something that can cause hurt or resentment towards or from their partner, because they don't know what they are messing with.
This is a great start to the game in any case, and I can't wait to see where it goes from here.
1) Prologue should end when they discuss his fetish. I feel like this is a good time to separate the lead up to the real story.
2) Sex scenes after the prologue need some type of player input or control. This includes the first time when Kanade approaches Yuuji. This could be as simple as a prompt at your desk that allows you to nod at her, or peaking out your window into her house to watch her with someone in her bed.
3) Please add some indicator for area transitions. You have multiple paths in each area, but some don't move you to a new area. Maybe at some point you plan to fill all these spots in, but until then, some blue or white arrows at the transition points would be helpful.
Let's switch to the good.
I've seen a few comments that the transition from vanilla to cuck is rushed. And I agree, but I think it fits. These aren't two adults with several relationships each who know what they want. These are two teens in what amounts to their first relationship exploring a kink they know nothing about. It makes sense they don't have a talk about boundaries until after they've passed that point. It makes sense they rush into something that can cause hurt or resentment towards or from their partner, because they don't know what they are messing with.
This is a great start to the game in any case, and I can't wait to see where it goes from here.
- Aug 27, 2021
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Yeah this game is cool, I wish there was this kinda game with animations and better render engines, like DAZ or whatever... ntr and netorase game are always in freaking rpgm and just still images, it's a shame...
Well, that went from 0 to 100 really fast. This is not a complaint, mind you. Kanade's readiness to go full-slut's pretty refreshing in how it makes her feel like she has real agency rather than simply playing along with her boyfriend's fetish. Rushing into netorase for the first time without thinking to establish boundries and then not taking a step back despite having doubts also seems like a realistic mistake for an inexperienced couple to make. And it's always nice to see this many scenes in a game's first version.
The whole condom issue is weird, the discussion the characters have about it don't really seem to make sense, but it is kind of hot that Kanade's only making her boyfriend put on a condom. And her seemingly arbitrary approach to why the MC has to wear a condom makes for a nicely asymmetrical power dynamic between the two of them on that topic. This isn't a complaint either, I quite like it. But if it's not intentional, you might want to revise it to ensure your writing's having the impact you want it to have.
That said, these points leave the question of where you want to go from there. Kanade's already willing to fuck a complete stranger raw for a creampie in full view of half her classmates, and while she can still build up to more, this is already a pretty advanced degree of sluttery to end the prologue on. It leaves me curious just how far she'll go once she really gets going. Again, not really complaining.
What I am absolutely complaining about is the save issue, though, and you seem to have already responded to that with an intent to add more spots where one can save, which is great. One thing I want to add to that, though, is that you might want to give some sort of warning before big scenes so that players can save before major sex scenes to replay them later, at least until you get a functioning gallery. Because even though I enjoyed the game so far quite a bit, I'm definitely not going to replay the whole thing and skip a metric fuckton of dialogue to see the sex scenes again.
The whole condom issue is weird, the discussion the characters have about it don't really seem to make sense, but it is kind of hot that Kanade's only making her boyfriend put on a condom. And her seemingly arbitrary approach to why the MC has to wear a condom makes for a nicely asymmetrical power dynamic between the two of them on that topic. This isn't a complaint either, I quite like it. But if it's not intentional, you might want to revise it to ensure your writing's having the impact you want it to have.
That said, these points leave the question of where you want to go from there. Kanade's already willing to fuck a complete stranger raw for a creampie in full view of half her classmates, and while she can still build up to more, this is already a pretty advanced degree of sluttery to end the prologue on. It leaves me curious just how far she'll go once she really gets going. Again, not really complaining.
What I am absolutely complaining about is the save issue, though, and you seem to have already responded to that with an intent to add more spots where one can save, which is great. One thing I want to add to that, though, is that you might want to give some sort of warning before big scenes so that players can save before major sex scenes to replay them later, at least until you get a functioning gallery. Because even though I enjoyed the game so far quite a bit, I'm definitely not going to replay the whole thing and skip a metric fuckton of dialogue to see the sex scenes again.
A simple, but important advice for the dev. Please make sure to have as many images as possible with the girl making eye contact with the player. That adds to the netorase feeling a lot. This is one of the reasons why I am fond of the AI games in the genre - it seems that by default the AI likes to create images with eye contact.
Any silhouetted moments? Like the MC sees his girl with another guy through curtains and can only see their shadows?
- Apr 24, 2018
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Is this game is in ongoing development. I have some criticism and praise to Fanorase .
I like the story, the NTS build up is good but the NTS ero event kinda rushed. Take it slowly It's a race hehehe. And for technical point , every morning , please let the player chance to save data. Give a checkpoint so player could anticipate the story progression for each chapters.
Thanks you for your game! I will support you!
I like the story, the NTS build up is good but the NTS ero event kinda rushed. Take it slowly It's a race hehehe. And for technical point , every morning , please let the player chance to save data. Give a checkpoint so player could anticipate the story progression for each chapters.
Thanks you for your game! I will support you!