And if you followed the dialogues you would see that they are Very Very different when you are on the sub or dom route.
Not to criticize you, you handle your game the way you want, I'm totally cool with that ; even if I can joke about it time to time. But to put things in plain light, he's not wrong. The difference between submission and domination, as well as the difference between "being submissive to a female" and "female domination", are way more than just a difference in the dialog.
A female dom wouldn't suck your dick, especially the first time she encounter you. If she want to reward you, she'll give you a foot job or a hand job. If you've be really obedient, she can go to let you be the one that will do the fucking. But to effectively give you a blow job, she need to be really, really, really proud of you.
It can vary, obviously, but
globally speaking, a hand job or a foot job mean that she help you have a release ; your pleasure will be that she do it, and she'll generally not make real attempt for this to be effectively pleasing for you. This while sex mean that she use you for her pleasure. She can possibly let you have your own pleasure during the process, but the priority is, and will always be, her pleasure. Then, like I said, she can let you take the lead as reward, but the main goal is still her own pleasure, if you enjoy it too much, she'll stop you and go back to her doing the fucking. Finally, if she like it, she can also take you in her ass ; it will still be her using you for her own pleasure.
But a blow job is something totally different to that. It's the only act where it's your pleasure that is in first place. Therefore, either it's a punishment (she'll edge you, again and again, and let you blue balled for hours, then finish you with her hands, if she finish you), or it's the ultimate reward for your good actions. Which also imply that a blow job can also be used as a lure. It's the promised reward at the end of an almost impossible act ; "if you achieve to wash your mistress, then give her a whole relaxing massage, this without having the start of an erection, then she will reward you with her mouth".
Still globally speaking, this is different from "being submissive to a female", where the pleasure is expected to be mutual. Unlike a female dom, who want to see you totally powerless, and use you as her sex toy, here the female just seek the thrill of control.
She's the one that wanted you to give into your pleasure, here, now, and this way. You do what she ask, and that's from where her pleasure come. And what she ask can be, without real problem, that you fuck her like a dirty whore. If you're naturally a nice and romantic lover, it will still be her making you do whatever she ask for.
In this case a blow job (to use is a comparison point) can effectively be a thing. By example, if it's in a crowed place, in the kitchen during a family reunion, or if you're in an uncomfortable position, or tied. As long as she feel in control from start to stop, it's accurate.
Therefore, to summarize, the main difference is in the way the pleasure is shared, or not. In a femdom relation, the pleasure of the female is the only thing that matter ; she allow you that have your own pleasure because it's a necessity if she want to keep you, but she'll do it only when it's really needed, or as a reward. And in a relation where you're "submissive to a female", the pleasure is mutual ; if you didn't had your own pleasure, then it's a failure for her.
Note that each relation is unique and depend of the person involved ; therefore it's just the general canvas over which the relation will be draw. And, obviously, it apply whatever the sex of the persons involved.
Oh, and by the way, all this is also different from S&M. Even if it tend to be the exception, it's totally legit to have a femdom relation without S&M. Like there's can be soft or medium S&M in a relation where you're just "submissive to a female".
Now, like I said above, it's your game, and I totally agree that you write it like you want it to be. I just explained why this isn't femdom, and not a single time expect you to change the game after this.
