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This post will be mostly about personal stuff going on in my life and what's on my mind lately. If you don't care about that, that's totally fine. You can ignore this post and wait for the progress update tomorrow. Also, I'm making this post more to clarify some questions I got again recently and will use it as something I can link again multiple times, just in case those questions come up more often again. After that I will talk a bit about myself.
First, I want to answer the question I have been getting the most again lately.
Why are you not remaking the models?
This has always been a possibility and it's the one thing I fall back to if and only if I will never get my stuff back ( or if there is a zero chance I get back anything to begin with ). I know this is going to sound frustrating for a lot of people because it has been over a year already and trust me, I know how much it sucks that the waiting has been going on since September 2023 basically. The thing is, if I recreate those characters and know that I will get my stuff back eventually, this will constantly be on my mind. I will really start to dislike what I created and that I had to "force" myself to do it. I personally will rather wait, no matter how long it takes, until its absolutely certain ( let's say, a court case where I would be judged ) that I will not get my data back. I know that a lot of you amazing people said you will wait no matter how long it takes but trust me, I would be the last person in the world that would be angry at any of you if you decided "That was long enough, get over it". That is purely my own stubbornness at this point and the dread that I will hate working on My New Memories eventually. Please respect this decision of mine as well though, you don't have to agree with it and you can say "It's not that big of a deal, I will love your remade chars as well", but I don't want to do it as long as there is even a 1% chance I get my stuff back ( and it's a 99.9% chance right now ).
Why are you making a prequel and did work fully on My New Family 2?
The easiest answer would be that I felt very, very burned out on My New Family. I think if this shit in september didn't happen, it would not have been that extreme, but my shit basically got taken while I was working on the last two days of the epilogue - I had so much other stuff planned but because of this situation, I completely threw everything overboard and had to start "from scratch" regarding those days. That was the first breaking point. The other was that my inspiration and creativity was just...Gone. That's why you also didn't get any real NSFW scenes in the Christmas special, I wanted to do at least one but I just wasn't able to think of something. I had a lot of stuff in mind regarding My New Family 2 back then, but it was pretty much all gone with the worries I had ( and still have ) after the police raided my home. This sounds more and more like a stupid excuse but it's hard to describe. My head wasn't really there at this time, but it is now. That's why I'm giving My New Family 2 more development time again.
It has been almost a year since you released anything. What happened? The prequel was supposed to be done fast?
Honestly? I don't know. I know it's easy to blame the whole police raiding my place and taking my hardware thing, but it's not like I didn't buy new hardware to start working properly again. If we take the prequel into account, for example, which I started to work on full time after the release of the first playable version for supporters ( which was earlier this year, if I remember correctly ) then there should at least have been a fully playable public release by now. I can't really find a good reason why it's taking me that much longer to work on something that I love. After the initial feedback for the prequel has been nothing but positive my morality got a huge boost and I thought I can finally start working how I used to. But I couldn't and I don't know how. Friends that I told about this say it's because of the Trauma/PTSD, but is it really that? Lately I have been feeling better again mentally and I was able to commit more time to what I love to do the most - Writing stories. But sometimes there are still these phases where I just can't do anything. It's hard to explain but I'm pretty sure that people that experienced similar traumas know what I mean.
I think those were the most burning questions I received in the last few months. I now wanted to talk a bit more about the current situation and how I'm feeling. Please keep in mind that this is not a fish for sympathy or pity, that's why I will try to keep the stuff more or less neutral.
The fact that shit shit has been going on for over a year has taken the biggest toll on my mental ( and physical ) health ever in my life. I researched at least a thousand times by now if this is normal - If the german law system is that slow, if people that got their equipment seized for other things had to wait that long as well and the overall impression I got is...Yes, yes it does take that fucking long. I found so many people that were accused of having certain illegal materials on their pcs ( videos and photos of the darkest kind ) and their wait time averaged around mine - From 6 months to 2 years, everything was there. That wasn't the only thing I researched. I also looked into what happened to the data of those people, which gave me a bit of relief. If anything illegal is found on your harddrives, they will be wiped, no way to object there. When it comes to hardware, you get everything back, they have no right to keep it ( though they can keep the harddrives if there was anything illegal on it ). I can say with one million percent honesty that nothing that was on my PCS ( be it laptops, external harddrives etc ) had ANYTHING illegal on them. My games ( all of them ) should be legal in Germany, since all characters are declared 18 and above and none of them are depicted in a way that could make you think otherwise. If someone thinks my characters look younger, that's fine, they aren't though. My game is not some dark fantasy for people to live out certain illegal kinks. The german justice system is pretty clear on stuff like that anyway so even if the investigating police officer deems some characters too young, it wouldn't mean anything since the law for fictive art ( 3d or 2d ) is different from real stuff in Germany ( I don't want to get into detail, but in Germany you can even have certain pictures on your devices that would get you a long jailtime in other countries ).
Now I don't know what this investigating police officer thought she has found on my hardware. If it's anything game related then this can easily be solved, like I said, my pcs are "clean" and only contain working stuff or games that I play. I don't know what she could have found on my phone either, since I use my phone to mostly talk to real life friends or to chat on Discord while I'm not at the PC. I never used any "shady" stuff like Telegram or TOR browser or things like that, because I never did anything illegal to begin with.
Knowing all this and still being treated like a fucking criminal and predator ( because that's the narrative they are trying to spin now, apparently ) was almost as bad as the raid on my apartment. I don't know how to describe it properly, but if you think of someone accusing you of these horrible things, you can probably imagine how it makes you feel. My lawyer is doing an amazing job in trying to help me out of this situation but sadly, he is just a lawyer, not a state attorney. I know a lot of you have said he is not doing enough but trust me, he is doing everything he can. He is basically fighting at 2 fronts for me, is trying to help me get my stuff back AND he is trying to get the piece of shit who caused all of this to get his judgement. Basically, this person ruined my life and said things to the cops just to avoid to be put in jail ( he accused himself of horrible things so he can stay free until the court case ). And then this guy flees to Thailand. How can any police officer still take ANYTHING this person says as something truthful? Well, I grasped at a last straw recently and basically told my lawyer that I will do anything so I can get my stuff back. I can't go into detail what exactly I "offered", but it's something he and I will discuss later this month ( he will get an updated look on the case file at the end of the year, thats when we will talk ). I can't go into more detail since we don't know whos reading my stuff etc. There are a lot of things coming into play here and one thing I also have to keep in mind ( and track off ) is the huge financial loss I already suffered from because I currently can't continue the development of My New Memories. The monatery loss is bigger than I thought and it hurts even more to know that my potential for growth is basically on hold since september 2023. But that's a loss I can manage, so don't worry about that.
Lastly, I want to talk about something positive. And with what I said on my 5th anniversary post, the most positive thing I can talk about is you guys. It has been over a year since this happened and so many of you still show their support - be it financially with supporting me on the platforms or be it emotionally, with sending me encouraging messages and comments on my posts. I think it's hard to describe what words can do to people in a positive way and even though I only know you guys online, you guys commenting and messaging me have a huge impact on my mental health in the most positive way. I see all of you people that play my games not just as "fans" or "community members", you are way way more than that. The positive words you leave and the ratings you give for my games are the one thing that keep me going. I don't want to say "keep me alive" because that might sound like too much..But it also kinda is like that. I felt like when the police raided my home and took my stuff I lost the purpose of doing anything at all. But then seeing that you guys send me your energy and love to keep going, to continue to do what I love, to continue write stories that so many of you enjoy, that is something that I will never be able to pay back. I love you guys from the bottom of my heart that stayed with me till now and I really hope that all this fighting will eventually pay off. The only thing I can do for you people is keep working on the games you love so much, just like I love making them. My biggest hope is that you will enjoy the prequel so that the waiting for the main game and My New Family 2 becomes more bearable. I will do my best, that is a promise I can give you, to stay strong.
And like I said earlier, if you think this is taking too long, if you don't want to wait anymore and feel frustrated, angry or disappointed with me, or even if you don't believe anything I say and think I'm just a huge scammer...That is also fine. You will still hold a special place for me because you are someone that used to enjoy my work. I'm very sorry that I can't be how I used to be over a year ago, where I was full of creativity and released updates in a steady cycle. All I can do is promise to do better, to keep going and to try my best to get in a consistent rhythm again.
If you read this far, thank you. I hope this post gave you a clearer picture on the situation and my way going forward. If you have any questions, don't hesitate to send me a message here or on Discord. My name there is killer7.
