VN Ren'Py My Sister & I [v0.8b] [Tortilla Dreams]

[trev97]

lnd "Oh dear, you finally decided to pick up, hey?"
It should be more like, "Oh dear, you finally decided to pick up the phone!" The hey part at the end doesn't really make sense.

mct "It had been so long, I left. I really tried to be normal. This reaction ain't good."
Should be more like "It has been so long since I left home. I've been trying so hard to be normal, but this reaction ain't good"
Too choppy.

mc "What? Why didn't you ask me? I pay the rent on this place, shouldn't you at least consult me?"
Should be "I pay the rent for this place"

s "Seriously though, you don't look bad! I really like what you've done with your hair... Although I've got all the good looks! *She giggled*"
"I've got all the good looks" doesn't really make sense, should be more like "I inherited all the good looks" or something.

Many more examples as well, this is just a few from the first scene or two.
One of the most noticeable is that many of the sentences in the game don't end with a period when they should. Also when you reference "brother's" or "sister's" most of the time you don't include the apostrophe.

 

[t727]

in the future it will happen...the dev already said it like four times in 2 days u.u 2 of them in this very page(i think XD)

I searched for "pregnancy" and no such result was presented.

As Demoness_Kiss said it'll be a thing in the future, right now there's only the possibility of impregnation!

Can't be bothered then.
I'll make a game and tag it with every possible tag, "it might happen"

 

[Gargarlley]

lnd "Oh dear, you finally decided to pick up, hey?"
It should be more like, "Oh dear, you finally decided to pick up the phone!" The hey part at the end doesn't really make sense.

mct "It had been so long, I left. I really tried to be normal. This reaction ain't good."
Should be more like "It has been so long since I left home. I've been trying so hard to be normal, but this reaction ain't good"
Too choppy.

mc "What? Why didn't you ask me? I pay the rent on this place, shouldn't you at least consult me?"
Should be "I pay the rent for this place"

s "Seriously though, you don't look bad! I really like what you've done with your hair... Although I've got all the good looks! *She giggled*"
"I've got all the good looks" doesn't really make sense, should be more like "I inherited all the good looks" or something.

Many more examples as well, this is just a few from the first scene or two.
One of the most noticeable is that many of the sentences in the game don't end with a period when they should. Also when you reference "brother's" or "sister's" most of the time you don't include the apostrophe.

Most of what you've refeered to is vernacular english! I apologise if you dislike it though!

Regarding the last thing, it's due legal reasons that it can't be done

how long will the next update be?

We have a few side stories lined up first!

I searched for "pregnancy" and no such result was presented.


Can't be bothered then.
I'll make a game and tag it with every possible tag, "it might happen"

The act of impregnation is in the game and the slow build up until the consequences is now developing! That's why I deemed it acceptable to add the tag, my apologies if you disagree!

 

[billyjoebobmartin]

lnd "Oh dear, you finally decided to pick up, hey?"
It should be more like, "Oh dear, you finally decided to pick up the phone!" The hey part at the end doesn't really make sense.

mct "It had been so long, I left. I really tried to be normal. This reaction ain't good."
Should be more like "It has been so long since I left home. I've been trying so hard to be normal, but this reaction ain't good"
Too choppy.

mc "What? Why didn't you ask me? I pay the rent on this place, shouldn't you at least consult me?"
Should be "I pay the rent for this place"

s "Seriously though, you don't look bad! I really like what you've done with your hair... Although I've got all the good looks! *She giggled*"
"I've got all the good looks" doesn't really make sense, should be more like "I inherited all the good looks" or something.

Many more examples as well, this is just a few from the first scene or two.
One of the most noticeable is that many of the sentences in the game don't end with a period when they should. Also when you reference "brother's" or "sister's" most of the time you don't include the apostrophe.

*cough* you're about 50-50 on those being justified issues or not.

> lnd "Oh dear, you finally decided to pick up, hey?"
justified
the 'hey' can be dropped or moved to another sentence. the rest can stay the same.

> mct "It had been so long, I left. I really tried to be normal. This reaction ain't good."
justified
it is choppy, but your fix wasn't much better. i think it's up to the game dev to clean up this one as any fixes would change things too much imo.

> mc "What? Why didn't you ask me? I pay the rent on this place, shouldn't you at least consult me?"
unjustified
at best changing some of the puntuation and adding 'first' to the end of 'why didn't you ask me?' could work. but that's it.

> s "Seriously though, you don't look bad! I really like what you've done with your hair... Although I've got all the good looks! *She giggled*"
unjustified
only thing i think could be added would be 'all that' between 'you don't look' and 'bad!'. otherwise everything is fine.

biggest issues i think is that you're forgetting these are two characters talking, not two workplace professionals on the clock. otherwise nice finds for the ones that are justified.

Regarding the last thing, it's due legal reasons that it can't be done

sounds like you should switch from SJW run patreon. i mean as a content creator them limiting your creative liberties (that doesn't harm anyone in the making of it) should be intolerable. but hey if the money is all your after...

 

[Gargarlley]

sounds like you should switch from SJW run patreon. i mean as a content creator them limiting your creative liberties (that doesn't harm anyone in the making of it) should be intolerable. but hey if the money is all your after...

I don't particularly think my freedom is threatened by not being able to add an apostrophe though!
And I probably could do it were I a better coder

But the real issue here is that I smoke like a trucker and I need those sweet nicotine bucks

 

[billyjoebobmartin]

I don't particularly think my freedom is threatened by not being able to add an apostrophe though!
And I probably could do it were I a better coder

But the real issue here is that I smoke like a trucker and I need those sweet nicotine bucks

not yet, who know when they'll go on another crusade. though that said you had to go out of your way to accommodate the platform no? the game's name is different on and off patreon, the relationship is between the two main characters are made ambiguous to dodge the ban hammer, and a page or three ago you responded to other things that you can't do for 'legal reasons'. so yea-no. you're content is being forcibly influenced by the platform no matter how you look at it.

as for your impending lung cancer... well... i got nothin'. that one's on you.

 

[Deleted member 4406778]

Hi Gargarlley, thanks for making this, I love games with a single love interest and romance for example life with Mary, sounds like the game will be good, one question is the game pov or is there 3rd person perspective for the mc, prefer pov but don't care either way

 

[Gargarlley]

not yet, who know when they'll go on another crusade. though that said you had to go out of your way to accommodate the platform no? the game's name is different on and off patreon, the relationship is between the two main characters are made ambiguous to dodge the ban hammer, and a page or three ago you responded to other things that you can't do for 'legal reasons'. so yea-no. you're content is being forcibly influenced by the platform no matter how you look at it.

as for your impending lung cancer... well... i got nothin'. that one's on you.

It is true, I'm a slave to their corporate interests, but alas. I'm too weak to oppose them

Please, Billy Joe Bob.
You must take up the fight
Succeed where I so miserably failed

Hi Gargarlley, thanks for making this, I love games with a single love interest and romance for example life with Mary, sounds like the game will be good, one question is the game pov or is there 3rd person perspective for the mc, prefer pov but don't care either way

The game is indeed pov, hope you enjoy it!

 

[billyjoebobmartin]

It is true, I'm a slave to their corporate interests, but alas. I'm too weak to oppose them

Please, Billy Joe Bob.
You must take up the fight
Succeed where I so miserably failed

well, bugging devs to change platforms is the only functional method i know of.

 

[Gargarlley]

well, bugging devs to change platforms is the only functional method i know of.

I'm sadly too weak willed, but I do wish you good luck in your quest

 

[Orirane]

Gargarlley Any chance you could credit the soundtrack somewhere? If it isn't original of course; I'm mainly interested in the piano pieces, I was going to try my hand at playing them and AHA gave no hits. Main menu piece is also pretty interesting.

 

[Cesco]

New player here, gotta say
I appreciate the Joe Hisaishi song choice on the main menu
I'm a weirdo, and I instantly mute the sound on VNs, I'm glad I didn't this time.

 

[Codex07]

The story is really sweet,don't tell me this is actually our developer rl story......

 

[Gargarlley]

Gargarlley Any chance you could credit the soundtrack somewhere? If it isn't original of course; I'm mainly interested in the piano pieces, I was going to try my hand at playing them and AHA gave no hits. Main menu piece is also pretty interesting.

Main menu is a cover from a movie, I can send you the composition! Albeit I rearranged it
Most of the piano arrangements on the game are done by myself, but I can probably make some sheets!

New player here, gotta say
I appreciate the Joe Hisaishi song choice on the main menu
I'm a weirdo, and I instantly mute the sound on VNs, I'm glad I didn't this time.

Thank you very much, hope you enjoy the rest of it!

The story is really sweet,don't tell me this is actually our developer rl story......

Haha, I wish! I do adapt some things from my life but in case anyone is wondering, I didn't have a cute goth gf

 

[ikswezclam]

This game won't to start, any help. (Win 10)

 

[Orirane]

Main menu is a cover from a movie, I can send you the composition! Albeit I rearranged it
Most of the piano arrangements on the game are done by myself, but I can probably make some sheets!

Oh, good job, no wonder they fit so well! Don't worry too much about making sheets unless you actually want to, I can always just play it by ear

 

[Demoness_Kiss]

i'm replaying the double date night (bc my save-file, decided to kill itself or wanted me to re-play the game) and Jen tells the story of MC punching someone...and it reminded me this



MC is Ben
Claire is Leslie
Jen is Ron
The jerk on the floor...is the jerk on the dancefloor XD

(i hoped to find a gif of the event...but i couldn't find it...and rather than posting a whole video of the scene...i posted the image XD)

 

[Bahamut Zero]

The game doesn't launch for me.
I saw someone else was having the same issue but it doesn't seem like he/she found a solution.

Anyone have any ideas? Other Ren'Py games launch just fine from the same location.


Edit:
I continued to try a bunch of random things after posting this and came across the solution myself.
The game won't start if you have "ə" in the folder name.
I haven't come across this before but it's good to know for the future.

lol man really! I was like to give up to try this game! I just double click the game, but nothing! And i just do not understand why the game never start! So i try to see if someone here have me same problems. And i finally find you comment.
If you have the "ə" in the folder name, the game never start!
So i need to change: My Sister & I [v0.5d] [Tortilla Dr"ə"ams] in a normal "e" and the game finally start!

Thank you

 

[Corambis]

Is it just me, or does the scene with the brother and sister seem to jump around a bit? This is on the full, uncompressed version downloaded from Mega.

Spoiler

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Other than that, it was a very hot scene. I hesitated to try this game because I'm not a fan of larger breasts generally, but they work on her, and overall she's really cute, and so is the story and relationship.

 

[xND97x]

lol man really! I was like to give up to try this game! I just double click the game, but nothing! And i just do not understand why the game never start! So i try to see if someone here have me same problems. And i finally find you comment.
If you have the "ə" in the folder name, the game never start!
So i need to change: My Sister & I [v0.5d] [Tortilla Dr"ə"ams] in a normal "e" and the game finally start!

Thank you

Glad I was able to help someone