I think
ename144 brought up lots of good points in this post, i agree with roughly 80% of them and would like to react on those on which i dont.
I agree his feelings for Mina and Victoria are different, but that can mean more than just one being stronger than the other. There's more than one type of love. The issue is the nature of those feelings.
That is true, there is more than one type of Love.
Killian's feeling towards Victoria seem to be familial; he sees her as a surrogate mother. More importantly, he sees her as someone who genuinely cares about him - unlike his own mother who is far more transactional. (...) That's how mother's are supposed to act, it's just that Grace is a terrible mother. Victoria being kind to him doesn't challenge his world view.
This is also not wrong, but i would put emphasis on the "seem to be familial" as in "it looks like it is a familial feeling" and that is why everyone involved, Victoria, Edwin and Killian is fine with it. From Victorias perspective Killian feels a bit like an adopted lost puppy or step-son, so Ians perception is not wrong and he cherishes it. This is probably also the reason he never made a move on her, because he fears to loose this special relation they have.
But he doesn't seem to love Victoria in a romantic sense, so I don't think he feels any conflict over his love for Victoria.
This is the first point at which our views diverge: It is fairly well established, that Ian
had a crush on Victoria, he even stole her panties at one time; and again this is no secret, all three are (or were) aware of it. They treat it as funny incident worth of a good laugh. I dare to say that at some occasions Victoria (she leaves the Bathroom wrapped in a towel, and both Edwin and Ian are not surprised) may even indulged Ian in something that she have seen back then as a cute teenage infatuation; since this is not uncommon, usually harmless and fades away with time. Normally when said infatuated Teenager finds his/her first real girl-/boyfriend. The Problem is that Killian was introduced to the club at his 18th birthday, perhaps even lost his virginity there, and this had, as we know, a severe impact on how he views (sexual-) relationships. I doubt that Ian ever had a real girlfriend, and therefore never had the chance to graduate from those feelings. On the contrary i believe that this even reinforced his feelings to a woman he adores, compared to the sluts and whores and golddiggers he is used to.
Meanwhile Ian *might* have romantic feelings for Mina; it's hard to say for sure, but let's assume he does.
Your following arguments are totally valid without making this assumption, they work even if he doesnt love Mina, with the exception of one sentence. And even without this sentence your argumentation is solid.
The problem in that case is that he's learned (mostly from Chuck, I presume) to think of romantic feelings as irrelevant hindrances that accompany the true feelings of lust. (...)
So he tries to treat Mina as nothing more than a fun lay, because that's the way it's 'supposed' to work. When Mina doesn't respond in kind, he feels guilty over it - but again, guilt is supposedly a societal construct that only holds him back. So he tries even harder to slake his lusts and make the guilt go away, which hurts Mina even more. Wash, rinse, and repeat - until Mina's finally had enough and breaks up with him.
Except... she still hasn't done so. She should be able to get better sex elsewhere, so why doesn't she? That, IMHO, is why Ian is so confused by the whole matter. Mina's behavior doesn't fit the pattern he learned from Uncle Chuck and it makes him feel bad in a way he's normally good at suppressing. Hence I see it as an opportunity to make him a better person if we can get through to him and present him with an alternative view of romantic love. But that can only happen if Mina keeps acting in a way she "shouldn't." If Mina starts an affair with the MC, she'll finally fit into his existing world view and the opportunity will be lost.
Mina definitely challenges that shitty view he adopted from his Uncle, and the path to his redemption you outlined seems viable. But as i said before, this process will take time and effort and it is more than likely that Mina has to endure even more shit from him. She is already suffering in this relationship.
Lets look again on the actual behaviour he displays, this time again at the club night:
There are two scenes in which Ian and Mina sit side by side, look at Killians hand here:
in the first scene - before he runs away to flirt with the chick at the bar - his arm is on the backrest.
- a loving boyfriend would rather have his arm around her shoulders
- the "neutral" choice would be arm on the backrest, but his hand touching her shoulder, perhaps only with the fingertips
- the "lewd" or playboy style would be probably copping a feel, showing off his chick and for what she is good for
all three choices would not necessarily interfere with his adopted views above;
in the second scene Mina has linked arms with him, presumably to prevent him from getting away again. Lets look at their hands again:
- the "loving" choice would be to hold her hand, or to link fingers
- the "neutral" would be a position like hers: hand on her leg or knee
- again the position you would probably expect from him, given his background the "lewd" one, would be his hand on her thigh or even between her legs
all those variations would incur on a rather subconscious level, based on your disposition, you usually dont have a long, hard thought-process about where to leave your hand.
Yet here, for whatever reason, he picks the "unnatural" choice:
he avoids to touch her at all (!), keeping at both occasions his hand away from her. Now imho this cannot explained simply with Uncle Chucks influence.
Mina is not only suffering from his infidelity (she only recently learned about it) and insincerity, but to a far greater degree from his inability to touch her. Look up Wikipedias article about Haptic Communication and the severe impact Touch Deprivation has on not only mental but also physical health. That is why i said, that i am not willing to sacrifice Mina to help Ian, regardless if he loves her or not (and i believe he doesnt, because this place in his heart is already taken).
and finally
It's not that he sees Mina as a sex object because he doesn't love her enough, it's because he thinks that's what romantic love really is.
Killian knows very well what romantic Love
really is.
This again is a super lengthy post, please bear with me, but i try to backup my thoughts with evidence, that is why they are not on a Twitter Scale. I hope the community here profits of it, and i respect any other views on this subject, because of course i can be totally wrong, after all it is just my theory. Thank you Guys, i am looking forward to more interesting opinions and theories from you on this great game.
