4.00 star(s) 108 Votes

ProofreadingRUS

Forum Fanatic
Aug 10, 2019
4,202
2,014
Firstly, great game. Secondly, the bug IS still present in chapter 8 (downloaded and checked prior to posting this) that prevents anyone NOT on the Miracle route from experiencing Sasha's talent agent role-play after offering MC the job as her agent. The following file corrects this and allows you to see this scene, the final one of chapter 7 (also a couple of misspoken lines and spelling errors, such as when you "fingerfick" Sasha just because they jumped out at me). View attachment 755985

I came to Picture Perfect for the promise of a realistically written incest story, but, while all the daughters are great, it was Sabrina I fell head over penis in love with. I know some players have had a dig at her speech patterns but I am British myself and, while a bit stereotypically upper class, I do know a couple of people who speak like she does (with the precise enunciation and old BBC style RP - though admittedly I have never heard them say "pish posh" !). Frankly, it just makes her hotter for me and I would love to meet her mother in the game! Anyway, the main reason I am posting is to comment on the promised
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Also I was wondering if Lady Aspen would consider completing her set of beautiful fan signatures by creating one for Sabrina?

Also, why no Sabrina on the game's starting screen - it makes it look like she is NOT considered at the same level as the other daughters!
Firstly, we know that.
Secondly, we started from the beginning and fixed that problem.
3rdly period.
 

Deleted member 1412183

Well-Known Member
Game Developer
May 15, 2019
1,725
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Firstly, great game. Secondly, the bug IS still present in chapter 8 (downloaded and checked prior to posting this) that prevents anyone NOT on the Miracle route from experiencing Sasha's talent agent role-play after offering MC the job as her agent. The following file corrects this and allows you to see this scene, the final one of chapter 7 (also a couple of misspoken lines and spelling errors, such as when you "fingerfick" Sasha just because they jumped out at me). View attachment 755985

I came to Picture Perfect for the promise of a realistically written incest story, but, while all the daughters are great, it was Sabrina I fell head over penis in love with. I know some players have had a dig at her speech patterns but I am British myself and, while a bit stereotypically upper class, I do know a couple of people who speak like she does (with the precise enunciation and old BBC style RP - though admittedly I have never heard them say "pish posh" !). Frankly, it just makes her hotter for me and I would love to meet her mother in the game! Anyway, the main reason I am posting is to comment on the promised
You don't have permission to view the spoiler content. Log in or register now.

Also I was wondering if Lady Aspen would consider completing her set of beautiful fan signatures by creating one for Sabrina?

Also, why no Sabrina on the game's starting screen - it makes it look like she is NOT considered at the same level as the other daughters!
Man, you hit me with a full essay over here lol. I'll try to respond to as many of your points as I can.

1) There is NO bug in the current version of the game. You had to restart from Ch. 7, but I have checked the code several times and there are no problems.

2) Your interpretation of a harem route going against the girls' personalities isn't right, I think. Paris is okay with it because she sees the girls as extensions of herself. Sasha is down with whatever, as always, and Miracle and Sabrina are just pretty much agreeable in everything.

Of course you have to take every harem path with a grain of salt, but I think it is realistic in this the game to have one.

3) Sabrina isn't on the front of the game because it is a spoiler that happens later on, as your relationship with her grows.

4) There will all be individual routes, all TOTALLY different from each other, as you choose whatever girl you want like following Sasha and her acting career, which would not happen on the Sabrina path.

But I appreciate youri n-depth analysis and I'm really happy you are enjoying the game! I have a lot more coming
 

Andrew Rider

Newbie
Jun 23, 2017
66
503
Man, you hit me with a full essay over here lol. I'll try to respond to as many of your points as I can.

1) There is NO bug in the current version of the game. You had to restart from Ch. 7, but I have checked the code several times and there are no problems.

2) Your interpretation of a harem route going against the girls' personalities isn't right, I think. Paris is okay with it because she sees the girls as extensions of herself. Sasha is down with whatever, as always, and Miracle and Sabrina are just pretty much agreeable in everything.

Of course you have to take every harem path with a grain of salt, but I think it is realistic in this the game to have one.

3) Sabrina isn't on the front of the game because it is a spoiler that happens later on, as your relationship with her grows.

4) There will all be individual routes, all TOTALLY different from each other, as you choose whatever girl you want like following Sasha and her acting career, which would not happen on the Sabrina path.

But I appreciate youri n-depth analysis and I'm really happy you are enjoying the game! I have a lot more coming
Many thanks to SuperWriter for the quick response. Also to Lady Aspen for the new fan signature. Mea Culpa !

1) I checked a new download before my previous posting without replaying the game. After your reply I downloaded the game again, this time from Mega, and replayed on my Sasha only playthrough. The game jumps from Miracle returning from the party to movie time with Sasha, skipping the agent role-play. With my adjusted file (above) the scene plays correctly before the movie scenes. Checked the U7 included in the latest download and at line 1301 there is still the offending else statement that sends you to Ch8 (if MC doesn't go to the hotel with Miracle), without showing the role-play scene, because it closes the if statement that checks for the Miracle route. So the latest download available to me and F95Zone IS still bugged. If you are referring to a download only available to patrons then I cannot comment because I am not one (I was going to pledge after I stopped patronage of a different game for non provision of custom renders, but when I checked the custom render reward had been removed - there were...things...I would have pledged at that level to see rendered with Sabrina!).

2) Fair enough. You obviously know the characters best. I can only go by the impression that they left on me, and I will admit to being very biased against harem routes in terms of realism.

3) That makes perfect sense. I am just sad because it is one less pic of the lovely Sabrina.

4) Again many thanks for answering this question, especially as it was the answer I was hoping for.
 
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Jamers

Newbie
Aug 3, 2020
56
67
SuperWriter, This is my favorite game of yours... better, of the genre, and I just wanted to say thank you. What hooked me was that it was a DAD who stayed with the kids after the bitch wife walked out. What kept me is how the dad is written outside of the steamy stuff, you can feel that he really cares and wants only the best for his girls but there are times when he feels truly lost and doesn't know what to do. How everyone comes together, again outside of the steamy stuff, is... well... this will sound weird but.... kinda heart warming. The steamy stuff..... Top rate, the graphics and the art work are some of the best out there today but the best is how natural the scenes feel, they aren't just plopped in there just because but actually are a perfect fit to the story and help move the story along in a beautiful way. You and your team, (I assume you have a team as you have several fantastic stories going at once and they are all being updated quite often. My apologies if I am mistaken) know what you are doing and deliver some of the very best work I have ever played and I mean that. ( I've been walking on this Earth since before man walked on the Moon so I've seen a WHOLE lot of stuff)


TLDR: Thank you for your WONDERFUL stories, your attention to detail and all the effort you put forth with your creations. You and your team are masters of your realm and I look forward to what you present to me next with anticipation and a smile.

Thank you.
 

Jamers

Newbie
Aug 3, 2020
56
67
looks like my previous post is in review heaven but that's okay, due process is due process and that's how it should be. I just saw that you have a new title coming out, "Just Another Bubble" and if I read it right it's a remake of the "Hunger for Chaos" title you had out earlier. I couldn't find a thread here about it to find out more. Any details you care to share or will there be a J.A.B. thread started soon??

I love all your other work so I am really want to know more about this one so please..... SPILL THE BEANS, MAN!!!
 

ProofreadingRUS

Forum Fanatic
Aug 10, 2019
4,202
2,014
looks like my previous post is in review heaven but that's okay, due process is due process and that's how it should be. I just saw that you have a new title coming out, "Just Another Bubble" and if I read it right it's a remake of the "Hunger for Chaos" title you had out earlier. I couldn't find a thread here about it to find out more. Any details you care to share or will there be a J.A.B. thread started soon??

I love all your other work so I am really want to know more about this one so please..... SPILL THE BEANS, MAN!!!
They don't care what you have to say.
They probably deleted it like most.
 

darth_hiruma

Well-Known Member
Jan 13, 2020
1,310
2,601
looks like my previous post is in review heaven but that's okay, due process is due process and that's how it should be. I just saw that you have a new title coming out, "Just Another Bubble" and if I read it right it's a remake of the "Hunger for Chaos" title you had out earlier. I couldn't find a thread here about it to find out more. Any details you care to share or will there be a J.A.B. thread started soon??

I love all your other work so I am really want to know more about this one so please..... SPILL THE BEANS, MAN!!!
Here is the thread:
https://f95zone.to/threads/just-another-bubble-ch-1-superwriter.47544/
 
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Only4You

Member
Feb 12, 2018
358
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Wow, very thoughtful analysis of the dev's writing. May I add a few of my own thoughts to that.

What I believe is that complete realism was never something SuperWriter aimed for, and he designed the story consciously not to portray complete realism. Thanks to F95zone, I had the privilege of experiencing another of his VN and also a set of short stories - and I can see a common pattern. The characters he designs are quite believable and well-inspired - as if he built them from real-life experiences. They don't seem bland because of his focus on the nuances, small details that make you instantly want to believe that they are real. But at the same time, he understands that real-life interactions between characters are often mundane and relationships progress slowly - not the type of "spontaneity" you would expect from an adult story - at least not in an extreme setting such as incest.

I believe that's why he takes a comical approach. The characters are real enough so that you can relate to them, or at least compare them with their real-life counterparts. But the story is full of goofy and overly dramatic occurrences - partly, I think, to remind you that it's not real; it's not even supposed to be real! It's all to allow for the fast-paced story the majority of the audience of Adult Content desire.

But does that mean it's not enjoyable? Not necessarily. I personally would compare it to comic book stories - you do enjoy them, but if you tried to analyze them deeply you would find many plot holes and logical fallacies - you just need to ignore them to enjoy the story. Because you know it's not supposed to be completely realistic in the first place. It's more about the emotions they incite in you. And I would praise SuperWriter for his focus on characters rather than the story when it comes to realism - because, I think he understands his audience, and it is, in fact, the best he can do. :p

PS: I do know, however, there exists a niche among adult story readers, who may appreciate a higher emphasis on realism. But it's just that - a niche (or at least that's what I gathered from my observations on F95Zone so far), and by focusing solely on that a dev would miss out on the broader audience. And it might also be a fact that most adult authors/developers may not be comfortable in that writing style.
 
Last edited:

Deleted member 1412183

Well-Known Member
Game Developer
May 15, 2019
1,725
8,214
SuperWriter, This is my favorite game of yours... better, of the genre, and I just wanted to say thank you. What hooked me was that it was a DAD who stayed with the kids after the bitch wife walked out. What kept me is how the dad is written outside of the steamy stuff, you can feel that he really cares and wants only the best for his girls but there are times when he feels truly lost and doesn't know what to do. How everyone comes together, again outside of the steamy stuff, is... well... this will sound weird but.... kinda heart warming. The steamy stuff..... Top rate, the graphics and the art work are some of the best out there today but the best is how natural the scenes feel, they aren't just plopped in there just because but actually are a perfect fit to the story and help move the story along in a beautiful way. You and your team, (I assume you have a team as you have several fantastic stories going at once and they are all being updated quite often. My apologies if I am mistaken) know what you are doing and deliver some of the very best work I have ever played and I mean that. ( I've been walking on this Earth since before man walked on the Moon so I've seen a WHOLE lot of stuff)


TLDR: Thank you for your WONDERFUL stories, your attention to detail and all the effort you put forth with your creations. You and your team are masters of your realm and I look forward to what you present to me next with anticipation and a smile.

Thank you.
No, dude. Thank YOU for all the nice words and I'm really happy you're enjoying the game so much. I do everything completely solo -- no team. I think I am too much of a control freak for that lol. PP Next chapter coming soon!

looks like my previous post is in review heaven but that's okay, due process is due process and that's how it should be. I just saw that you have a new title coming out, "Just Another Bubble" and if I read it right it's a remake of the "Hunger for Chaos" title you had out earlier. I couldn't find a thread here about it to find out more. Any details you care to share or will there be a J.A.B. thread started soon??

I love all your other work so I am really want to know more about this one so please..... SPILL THE BEANS, MAN!!!
Yep, the first chapter of my other JUST ANOTHER BUBBLE came out very recently and I think you would also enjoy it!

Here's the link -- https://f95zone.to/threads/just-another-bubble-ch-1-superwriter.47544/

Superwriter??? the Literotica writer?
Haha, yup! I have moved on to making this video games from writing

Wow, very thoughtful analysis of the dev's writing. May I add a few of my own thoughts to that.

What I believe is that complete realism was never something SuperWriter aimed for, and he designed the story consciously not to portray complete realism. Thanks to F95zone, I had the privilege of experiencing another of his VN and also a set of short stories - and I can see a common pattern. The characters he designs are quite believable and well-inspired - as if he built them from real-life experiences. They don't seem bland because of his focus on the nuances, small details that make you instantly want to believe that they are real. But at the same time, he understands that real-life interactions between characters are often mundane and relationships progress slowly - not the type of "spontaneity" you would expect from an adult story - at least not in an extreme setting such as incest.

I believe that's why he takes a comical approach. The characters are real enough so that you can relate to them, or at least compare them with their real-life counterparts. But the story is full of goofy and overly dramatic occurrences - partly, I think, to remind you that it's not real; it's not even supposed to be real! It's all to allow for the fast-paced story the majority of the audience of Adult Content desire.

But does that mean it's not enjoyable? Not necessarily. I personally would compare it to comic book stories - you do enjoy them, but if you tried to analyze them deeply you would find many plot holes and logical fallacies - you just need to ignore them to enjoy the story. Because you know it's not supposed to be completely realistic in the first place. It's more about the emotions they incite in you. And I would praise SuperWriter for his focus on characters rather than the story when it comes to realism - because, I think he understands his audience, and it is, in fact, the best he can do. :p

PS: I do know, however, there exists a niche among adult story readers, who may appreciate a higher emphasis on realism. But it's just that - a niche (or at least that's what I gathered from my observations on F95Zone so far), and by focusing solely on that a dev would miss out on the broader audience. And it might also be a fact that most adult authors/developers may not be comfortable in that writing style.
Thanks a lot for your comments, Johny, and you definitely made a lot of good points. My games are grounded in reality, but also have enough goofy moments like Sabrinawanting to bond with you naked out in the woods that I think are really fun, but obviously would not happen in real life. so I try to keep a balance between the two and I think it works well for my personal style, and I think a lot of other people
 

Hirnfiedler

Newbie
Feb 20, 2019
76
109
No voice acting right now since the deal between dev and voice actresses went south. But the music is still there.
And thank god for that. I got a sugar shock when I first heard the voices. Actress(es) should stay at anime works. Because it nearly made me puke, I turned the voicing off instantly.
 
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Maviarab

Devoted Member
Jul 12, 2020
9,978
23,082
Writing is far better than Secret Summer, I'm actually liking this one so far.

There are however numerous grammatical errors in Chapter 1 from spelling errors to actual sentence structure. Also, a little nitpick, there is no 'British' accent. Great Britain is comprised of 3 countries you realise, very distinct from each other. Sorry, but as an Englishman it seriously irks me when people get this basic geographical knowledge wrong.

Should you wish Sabrina's speech to be more accurate, please feel free to contact me to check any of her writing, I would be more than happy to help you. Other than that, really like this one and will keep an eye on it.
 

Deleted member 1412183

Well-Known Member
Game Developer
May 15, 2019
1,725
8,214
Writing is far better than Secret Summer, I'm actually liking this one so far.

There are however numerous grammatical errors in Chapter 1 from spelling errors to actual sentence structure. Also, a little nitpick, there is no 'British' accent. Great Britain is comprised of 3 countries you realise, very distinct from each other. Sorry, but as an Englishman it seriously irks me when people get this basic geographical knowledge wrong.

Should you wish Sabrina's speech to be more accurate, please feel free to contact me to check any of her writing, I would be more than happy to help you. Other than that, really like this one and will keep an eye on it.
Glad you're enjoying this one too! As for Sabrina's speech, I had another Englishman comment on it and said that it was a bit exaggerated, but he did personality know people that talked in such a 'posh' way.

But I understand how you can perceive it differently, being from Britain
 

GrammerCop

Well-Known Member
Donor
Mar 15, 2020
1,831
1,790
Glad you're enjoying this one too! As for Sabrina's speech, I had another Englishman comment on it and said that it was a bit exaggerated, but he did personality know people that talked in such a 'posh' way.

But I understand how you can perceive it differently, being from Britain
Well, I m from Texas (USA) and if you think you are having problems, everybody thinks I talk funny when in fact, it's actually (imho) it's the other way around. :LOL:
 

Haast

Member
Mar 19, 2018
464
736
Theres an old quote from a Jean-Claude van Damme movie "What accent", I believe it was Universal Soldier, from memory there are dozens of accents in the UK, so Sabrina having a 'different' accent should be fine, most people dont seem to mind at all.
Many people dont even realise they have accents, but to others its often times is very obvious.
 

GrammerCop

Well-Known Member
Donor
Mar 15, 2020
1,831
1,790
Theres an old quote from a Jean-Claude van Damme movie "What accent", I believe it was Universal Soldier, from memory there are dozens of accents in the UK, so Sabrina having a 'different' accent should be fine, most people dont seem to mind at all.
Many people dont even realise they have accents, but to others its often times is very obvious.
There are so many accents that most of the people think you talk funny. But not as much as if you are in south Texas. I think there SO Many people who talk funny. (although they all think I talk funny) :ROFLMAO:
 
4.00 star(s) 108 Votes