VN Ren'Py Completed Picture Perfect [v1.0] [SuperWriter]

[Maviarab]

Theres an old quote from a Jean-Claude van Damme movie "What accent", I believe it was Universal Soldier, from memory there are dozens of accents in the UK, so Sabrina having a 'different' accent should be fine, most people dont seem to mind at all.
Many people dont even realise they have accents, but to others its often times is very obvious.

She doesn't have an 'accent' as we never hear her voice. Dialect is a different thing altogether. But yes, there are as many accents here on this lil Island as there is in the states, perhaps even more.

My main issue was some of what she says, no one here speaks like that. Some, perhaps royalty when putting on airs and graces. She has been written as a very posh upper class character, in which case, why the hell would she be in some second-rate unknown college? Her writing does need toning back a tad and in some cases, is just not 'British' at all. There are a lot of tropes that she has which frankly, are just plain inaccurate (such as being obsessed with tea), but only an an actual 'Brit' would know that.

I get the target audience is probably not people from the United Kingdom but as I am from here, her character is a little too much and not protrayed realistically at times. She is too much of a meme. However, that's not to say I don't love her character, she is great and why I offered my help with her should Super be so inclined to double check a phrase etc.

 

[Deleted member 1412183]

She doesn't have an 'accent' as we never hear her voice. Dialect is a different thing altogether. But yes, there are as many accents here on this lil Island as there is in the states, perhaps even more.

My main issue was some of what she says, no one here speaks like that. Some, perhaps royalty when putting on airs and graces. She has been written as a very posh upper class character, in which case, why the hell would she be in some second-rate unknown college? Her writing does need toning back a tad and in some cases, is just not 'British' at all. There are a lot of tropes that she has which frankly, are just plain inaccurate (such as being obsessed with tea), but only an an actual 'Brit' would know that.

I get the target audience is probably not people from the United Kingdom but as I am from here, her character is a little too much and not protrayed realistically at times. She is too much of a meme. However, that's not to say I don't love her character, she is great and why I offered my help with her should Super be so inclined to double check a phrase etc.

Sabrina is not obsessed with tea lol. Don't know where you got that from. She does drink it, but so does Miracle. And Sabrina's character is just how I envision her in my head. So she may come across as you say, but I wasn't trying to model her after anyone. She just is who she is lol.

Super polite and high-class sounding. That's just her.

 

[Maviarab]

Sabrina is not obsessed with tea lol. Don't know where you got that from. She does drink it, but so does Miracle. And Sabrina's character is just how I envision her in my head. So she may come across as you say, but I wasn't trying to model her after anyone. She just is who she is lol.

Super polite and high-class sounding. That's just her.

You have to admit though that the 'Brit drinking tea' isn't exactly original and an overly used meme hehe.

That said...as I said, I do love her and love this game so keep up the great work.

 

[kurnia]

S

She will make an appearance, but it'll be pretty brief. That idea does not sound bad to me at all, but it would require lengthening the game and I haven't even gotten into the girls storylines yet, so maybe if I make a sequel or something =]

Or a side story for the game

Sequel will be fine. I like the idea.

 

[BigDaddyDom]

S

Sequel will be fine. I like the idea.

I think most people in here would love a sequel

 

[Deleted member 1412183]

You must be registered to see the links

PP is finally out on Steam, guys!!! Please consider buying the game for $5 and leaving a review!!! Hell, if they even that's good enough I might just jump to Picture Perfect sequel after finishing this one in a few months!

 

[GrammerCop]

You must be registered to see the links

PP is finally out on Steam, guys!!! Please consider buying the game for $5 and leaving a review!!! Hell, if they even that's good enough I might just jump to Picture Perfect sequel after finishing this one in a few months!

But, it's not the finished game.

 

[Raziel_8]

You must be registered to see the links

PP is finally out on Steam, guys!!! Please consider buying the game for $5 and leaving a review!!! Hell, if they even that's good enough I might just jump to Picture Perfect sequel after finishing this one in a few months!

How will u release the new updates for the steam version, if u don't mind the question ?
I mean monthly updates, seasonpass ect

 

[Deleted member 1412183]

Writing is far better than Secret Summer, I'm actually liking this one so far.

There are however numerous grammatical errors in Chapter 1 from spelling errors to actual sentence structure. Also, a little nitpick, there is no 'British' accent. Great Britain is comprised of 3 countries you realise, very distinct from each other. Sorry, but as an Englishman it seriously irks me when people get this basic geographical knowledge wrong.

Should you wish Sabrina's speech to be more accurate, please feel free to contact me to check any of her writing, I would be more than happy to help you. Other than that, really like this one and will keep an eye on it.

But, it's not the finished game.

Right, it's early access up until chapter 7.

How will u release the new updates for the steam version, if u don't mind the question ?
I mean monthly updates, seasonpass ect

The game will only get updated again once it is complete. This early access version is just to spread awareness and give all those steam users out there the chance to play and decide if they would like to follow the game or wait until it is done. Only patreon will get monthly updates

 

[KsChN68]

Saw that the game is now also available on Steam. But then I also saw that this is version/chapter 7 - is there a special reason why the already outdated version was put there? Or is this the one with the voices?

 

[Deleted member 1412183]

Saw that the game is now also available on Steam. But then I also saw that this is version/chapter 7 - is there a special reason why the already outdated version was put there? Or is this the one with the voices?

I put it on steam to allow others who don't know about this site or patreon to play it as Early Access instead of waiting for the official release. only my patreons will get monthly updates until the game is done to keep it fair for those supporting me!

 

[KsChN68]

I understand, so the version on Steam is more like a BIG demo to introduce the game and your patreon site. Thanks for the info.

 

[lionarslan]

I put it on steam to allow others who don't know about this site or patreon to play it as Early Access instead of waiting for the official release. only my patreons will get monthly updates until the game is done to keep it fair for those supporting me!

That explains the price, but don't explain why there's a price at all. If it's just a demo and it wont be updated with the same speed as in Patreon, then it's kind of milking people for money. Thank you for this warning though, I added your game to my wishlist (and find out that BaDIK and CoBD are in Steam too), and when you finish it I most probably buy it.

 

[KoGa3]

Also, my first thought was "why chapter 7 and not the more recent 8?". And if it's a demo, why charge a price for it at all?

But for a demo, chapter 7 is actually too big, it's probably half the size of the game in the end. And other developers would simply add a small ending/cliffhanger and rename it to "PP1", followed by the sequel "PP2"...

And it's not even that new: I can remember that I had to PAY for the "shareware" (demo) version of Doom 1 in the early 90's (in the last millennium - yes, I'm really that old...).

So I think the price on Steam is justified or reasonable for it. And I understand now also why he doesn't sell the very latest part on Steam: there should still be a motivation to support him on Patreon (as far as I know he does the game developing as a full-time job, so he lives from the income there).

But: I will also wait till the game is finished and buy it then. And in the meantime...well...there's F95zone...

 

[Deleted member 1412183]

That explains the price, but don't explain why there's a price at all. If it's just a demo and it wont be updated with the same speed as in Patreon, then it's kind of milking people for money. Thank you for this warning though, I added your game to my wishlist (and find out that BaDIK and CoBD are in Steam too), and when you finish it I most probably buy it.

Also, my first thought was "why chapter 7 and not the more recent 8?". And if it's a demo, why charge a price for it at all?

But for a demo, chapter 7 is actually too big, it's probably half the size of the game in the end. And other developers would simply add a small ending/cliffhanger and rename it to "PP1", followed by the sequel "PP2"...

And it's not even that new: I can remember that I had to PAY for the "shareware" (demo) version of Doom 1 in the early 90's (in the last millennium - yes, I'm really that old...).

So I think the price on Steam is justified or reasonable for it. And I understand now also why he doesn't sell the very latest part on Steam: there should still be a motivation to support him on Patreon (as far as I know he does the game developing as a full-time job, so he lives from the income there).

But: I will also wait till the game is finished and buy it then. And in the meantime...well...there's F95zone...

Ok, maybe I used the wrong word. The steam version has 8 updates, and is clearly not a demo. The demo on my patreon has only the first update. Steam has Early Access for a reason, and there are hundreds of thousands of games that give the player a chance to play before the full version comes out.

How is giving players on Steam a lower price for half the game milking Lion? The game is only $5 and will be $15 once it is done. That's 8 months of work for 8 updates.

And my patrons who support me monthly will get the newest updates as I continue to work. They sre supporting me so I can keep making the game in the first place. Thank you for saying that kog. The only reason I can update these games monthly is because I am able to do it full-time with the support. It is literally how I pay my bills.

but people say that I'm milking when I release and update every single month. Lol I can't win

 

[lionarslan]

Ok, maybe I used the wrong word. The steam version has 8 updates, and is clearly not a demo. The demo on my patreon has only the first update. Steam has Early Access for a reason, and there are hundreds of thousands of games that give the player a chance to play before the full version comes out.

How is giving players on Steam a lower price for half the game milking Lion? The game is only $5 and will be $15 once it is done. That's 8 months of work for 8 updates.

And my patrons who support me monthly will get the newest updates as I continue to work. They sre supporting me so I can keep making the game in the first place. Thank you for saying that kog. The only reason I can update these games monthly is because I am able to do it full-time with the support. It is literally how I pay my bills.

but people say that I'm milking when I release and update every single month. Lol I can't win

I suppose I need to explain my position. Steam is an Internet shop, where people buy software (with all the legal responsibilities of involved sides and so on). Demo is incomplete version of software. Steam's added bonus - you can buy incomplete product (Early access) to support a developer, in case dev can't have resources to finish product on his own. The only reason Early access is exist is exactly that, give money to developer for finishing. Steam is not a crowdfunding platform. That was definitions for explaining.
Look at PinkCake. He finished "Acting lessons", then published it in Steam. People bought his game, it brings money to dev for his good work. After that he published his current WIP "Being a DIK". Price is close to "Acting lessons", game is still in development, every update goes simultaneously in Patreon, Steam and any other platform. It's Early access, dev don't have enough resources and using Steam function to do have what he needs. Anyone who buy BaDIK, got current version with any future updates. Beacause that anyone already bought BaDIK, he/she is a current supporter and have a full right to have the most of the product. Bruni Multimedia does the same thing, first the Early access, now game is finished and everyone who bought it on Steam have not only full version of the game but every subsequent updates. I know what I am speaking about, I actually bought "Acting lessons" and "General practicioner" (not BaDIK, but for a whole other reason). Philly games is the third one who did the same.
So, what I am talking about. Three devs, good devs I might add, publish their games in Steam as just another platform, totally equal to Patreon or another platform for earning money for their work. Steam buyers have the same version of software as Patreon users, they are totally equal, 'cause all of them bring money to dev. Steam users are not worse than Patreon users, they just pay for product their real price, not worrying about is dev will finish the game or not. Yes, it brings less money than Patreon scheme, but that's how real gamemaking work. Big companies paying for a few years to their developers in hope they make good product that bring profit. And sometimes they fail. It's just a risk of making software. And if you, as a developer, diminish actual buyers (users of Internet shop) comparing to people who has excessive money (any crowdfunding platform), you just show people where your interests are. And that interests usually do not include good software. And that's where milking goes.

 

[Deleted member 1412183]

I suppose I need to explain my position. Steam is an Internet shop, where people buy software (with all the legal responsibilities of involved sides and so on). Demo is incomplete version of software. Steam's added bonus - you can buy incomplete product (Early access) to support a developer, in case dev can't have resources to finish product on his own. The only reason Early access is exist is exactly that, give money to developer for finishing. Steam is not a crowdfunding platform. That was definitions for explaining.
Look at PinkCake. He finished "Acting lessons", then published it in Steam. People bought his game, it brings money to dev for his good work. After that he published his current WIP "Being a DIK". Price is close to "Acting lessons", game is still in development, every update goes simultaneously in Patreon, Steam and any other platform. It's Early access, dev don't have enough resources and using Steam function to do have what he needs. Anyone who buy BaDIK, got current version with any future updates. Beacause that anyone already bought BaDIK, he/she is a current supporter and have a full right to have the most of the product. Bruni Multimedia does the same thing, first the Early access, now game is finished and everyone who bought it on Steam have not only full version of the game but every subsequent updates. I know what I am speaking about, I actually bought "Acting lessons" and "General practicioner" (not BaDIK, but for a whole other reason). Philly games is the third one who did the same.
So, what I am talking about. Three devs, good devs I might add, publish their games in Steam as just another platform, totally equal to Patreon or another platform for earning money for their work. Steam buyers have the same version of software as Patreon users, they are totally equal, 'cause all of them bring money to dev. Steam users are not worse than Patreon users, they just pay for product their real price, not worrying about is dev will finish the game or not. Yes, it brings less money than Patreon scheme, but that's how real gamemaking work. Big companies paying for a few years to their developers in hope they make good product that bring profit. And sometimes they fail. It's just a risk of making software. And if you, as a developer, diminish actual buyers (users of Internet shop) comparing to people who has excessive money (any crowdfunding platform), you just show people where your interests are. And that interests usually do not include good software. And that's where milking goes.

Early Access is to spread awareness of your game. That's why I wanted to put my game on Steam. It's $5 for the current 8 updates. It will be $15 once done. Patreon supporters get access to monthly updates.

I still don't understand your logic about milking, to be honest. All the developers you mentioned have earlier versions of their games on Steam while they are still working on the SAME game. I could easily call what I put on Steam episode 1 or however, but it is still an earlier version of the game.

How is that any different?

 

[lionarslan]

Early Access is to spread awareness of your game. That's why I wanted to put my game on Steam. It's $5 for the current 8 updates. It will be $15 once done. Patreon supporters get access to monthly updates.

I still don't understand your logic about milking, to be honest. All the developers you mentioned have earlier versions of their games on Steam while they are still working on the SAME game. I could easily call what I put on Steam episode 1 or however, but it is still an earlier version of the game.

How is that any different?

My long logical post crushed after I took time for a research. "Acting Lessons" - 259 roubles (Steam have different prices for different regions), finished game. "General practicioner" - 435 roubles, finished game now, price was the same when game was in Early Access, dev still making new updates, as DLC, for free. That was not milking.
"Being a DIK, Book one", version 0.4 - 309 roubles, all continuation (planned 3) as DLCs, each for a price. "City of broken dreamers, book one", version 0.7 - 259 roubles, all continuation as DLCs, no information about price. "Picture perfect v.08" - 133 roubles, continuation is planned in half a year, no information about price. That was 3 examples of milking. And to be honest, you have the most light variant.
You have your own understanding of Early Access, but it doesn't matter. Why I call these examles milking? In gamemaking demo (incomplete version of the game) is distributing for free, "to spread awareness", using your words. Complete version of the game has a price, each genre has their own price range (if VN cost as much as good RPG, that VN is clearly overpriced).
If completed game has package of new features, it's called DLC and may have a separate price. Sometimes DLC is distributing for free, for that dev usually have some points in good reputation.
To sum it all, demo is free, complete game has a price, DLCs may have a price. If game is incomplete, it's demo. That's why it's milking, you (and other two too) are trying to sell demo with a promise of bigger price for a complete game.

 

[Raziel_8]

To sum it all, demo is free, complete game has a price, DLCs may have a price. If game is incomplete, it's demo. That's why it's milking, you (and other two too) are trying to sell demo with a promise of bigger price for a complete game.

A demo is not always for free and thats nothing new, that was already the case back in the 90s when i started gaming.
DLC's which are free are mostly for game optimizing ect, DLC's which have actual content are almost never for free and are used by many studios for milking these days, or the content which the DLC contains was removed from the game to sell extra...like day1 DLC for Mass Effect 3...

''If game is incomplete, it's demo.''
A demo is a presentation of the game, often used to introduce new mechanics or gamestyle, it has nothing to do with complete or incomplete.

In this case a 0.2 version of the game would be a good demo, it introduce the game characters, plot ect.
The current 0.7 is more like season/book 1 one of the game, it is absolute legit for the dev to charge money for it and 4 € is clearly not overpriced.

Ur coment about milking doesn't make sense, early access games are always incomplete, u pay for an unfinished game to support the dev/further development of the game, there is always the risk of the game will never be finished, that a game is cheaper in it's early access phase and more expensive when it is finished is only logical...

 

[KoGa3]

My long logical post crushed after I took time for a research. "Acting Lessons" - 259 roubles (Steam have different prices for different regions), finished game. "General practicioner" - 435 roubles, finished game now, price was the same when game was in Early Access, dev still making new updates, as DLC, for free. That was not milking.
"Being a DIK, Book one", version 0.4 - 309 roubles, all continuation (planned 3) as DLCs, each for a price. "City of broken dreamers, book one", version 0.7 - 259 roubles, all continuation as DLCs, no information about price. "Picture perfect v.08" - 133 roubles, continuation is planned in half a year, no information about price. That was 3 examples of milking. And to be honest, you have the most light variant.
You have your own understanding of Early Access, but it doesn't matter. Why I call these examles milking? In gamemaking demo (incomplete version of the game) is distributing for free, "to spread awareness", using your words. Complete version of the game has a price, each genre has their own price range (if VN cost as much as good RPG, that VN is clearly overpriced).
If completed game has package of new features, it's called DLC and may have a separate price. Sometimes DLC is distributing for free, for that dev usually have some points in good reputation.
To sum it all, demo is free, complete game has a price, DLCs may have a price. If game is incomplete, it's demo. That's why it's milking, you (and other two too) are trying to sell demo with a promise of bigger price for a complete game.

Well, I don't quite agree with you on that. He only charges money for work he's done. A one-time payment for 8 chapters (~half) of his game. Once again, 8 chapters, not just one like other demos! For some other developers this is almost a complete game. So in my opinion, this is not milking. What Gum..op does, that's milking. Charge money for nothing, zero. No further development, only promises (and that for over 2 years...). Unlike here, where updates are delivered pretty much every month.

So I see the release on Steam almost as much as a release on Patreon: If I want the game in development right away, I have to pay. If I don't want that, I'll just wait until it's finished. And then I just have to pay once. (Ok, there's also this pirate site here - but that's another story...)

Also the mentioned examples for the other "bad" developers don't fit for me either. Most of them are really successfully developers at all - and calling them milkers seems a bit unusual to me. And one "funny" thing too - "BaDIK" an "Acting Lessons" are from the same developer, only "Acting Lessons" was finished quite some time ago...

And sorry, an unfinished game is NOT automatically a demo. That's nonsense. A demo is a short teaser of a game, like a movie trailer. And this release on Steam goes way beyond that. It's for me like the first part of a movie series. And by the way, when other developers publish games in developement there for free, there's usually a reason for that...