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4.00 star(s) 108 Votes

Mister Ed

Newbie
Aug 1, 2018
56
60
I think thie
Not wrong girl. Typo in the girl's name. It should be Miracle, not Miralce.
I think they meant that the text being said uses Miracles name but it is also labeled as being spoken BY Miracle. I doubt she is talking to herself that way.
 
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botc76

The Crawling Chaos, Bringer of Strange Joy
Donor
Oct 23, 2016
4,486
13,409
So many people have praised your previous games/told me that they are what got them into development. While I never really got a chance to play DoD, I'm looking forward to this new one! Will write a review when done.

Just keep in mind that this doesn't seem to be ptolemy writing, but this superwriter dude.
I hope with a name that confident, he will actually deliver something worthy of the moniker. ;)
 

Een Vieze Vent

Active Member
Aug 5, 2017
579
6,637
SuperWriter Nice start so far, but you guys should take another look at naming and relationship customizer at the start of the game, I think it will be better to input a specific role (daughter) for each girl at the start instead of one for all three at once (daughters) since it fucks with the script.

Example 1:

2.jpg

Example 2:

33.jpg

Example 3 (Double S):

55.jpg

Also it might be a good idea to implement how the girls should adress you (Dad) while other characters use your MC's name. Guess this one needs to be fixed too:

3.jpg

And this one made me lol:

1.jpg

Also, Sasha has a creepy black line on her face within her dialogue render:

7_resultaat.png
 
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botc76

The Crawling Chaos, Bringer of Strange Joy
Donor
Oct 23, 2016
4,486
13,409
Right.
Here are my thoughts.
For a VN third person is always troublesome. Most of us players want to be able to identify at least partially with the MC, that is made a lot harder if it is written in third person, not first.

Sunny-side up eggs and bacon IS NOT a healthy breakfast. Pictures and text are at odds and it just seems silly.

The English is a bit awkward at times, a few times it seems just plain wrong, though it seems to get better during the course of the demo.

As is to be expected from Ptolemy's involvement, the girls are beautiful, but even in that point, the renders don't seem quite as sharp as I expect from Ptolemy. Still gorgeous girls though.

After playing through it a second time having replaced the "daughters" with "daughter" it really does make a difference and I have to say this is already pretty good.
The only thing weird is how all three girls seem to already be interested in the D sexually, just when he realizes he reacts that way to their bodies and teasing.
 
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ThunderRob

Devoted Member
May 10, 2018
9,497
26,605
folks..we may be looking at P-Teams biggest triumph ever..this was splendid....Sasha is true goddess form..the writing was good it was just..damn good..everyone and their brother should play this..its long for a demo..has choices...Miracle is adorable AF...ya..play..be happy..go to sleep with a smile.
 

N Walker

New Member
Feb 5, 2018
5
17
Loved it.

The relationships questionnaire could use a little bit more context. Perhaps show the chosen words in a proper sentence afterwards to be able to confirm their correctness.
 
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RogueKnightUK

Co-Writer: Retrieving The Past
Game Developer
Jul 10, 2018
925
2,449
A strong start, but there did seem to be quite a high number of errors from two such practiced people.

Obviously asking the relationship of the girls (plural) to the MC suggests giving a plural relationship, and at the minimum a short bit of code should be checking if the last letter is an 's' and tokenizing the plural and singular variants from that. It still wouldn't be perfect, but it would work for all of the most likely and most common expected values.

Several textual errors surprised me more, as somehow I'd just assumed you'd certainly have proofreading well and truly sorted at this stage in your respective careers.
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However, huge and massive props for this ... screenshot0011.png

That image along with the mention of her age and B-cups is just pure, pure win for all the petite fans. That one screen is a whole story all in itself.
 
4.00 star(s) 108 Votes